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I think her behavior fits best for me in this episode if I think of her as a person who has heard “you can’t” so many times in her life and has a visceral response to it where she digs her heels in and says “I can and I will.”

She goes to medical school which surely she was told she couldn’t. Then she chooses a speciality where her seizure disorder might pose a problem when there are so many jobs in medicine where it wouldn’t. She is a person who does what she’s told she can’t. To prove to herself, to the world, to the people around her that she is not limited in any way. Fuck her seizures. Fuck the expectations of people around her. Fuck the way they look at her differently. She is not going to accept that she can’t do something.

And when she approaches Robby in 2x14 she’s being very vulnerable, and I can imagine things playing out differently if his reaction was different. If he were empathetic and focused on how to make this job work for her, what they could do to accommodate a period of working in a slightly limited capacity until she has a period of seizure free time. To approach her as someone who absolutely can get back to doing all aspects of her job at some point and will be supported in getting there. Validation that he recognizes that she is still competent and capable now. I can imagine her accepting the support. She went into that room asking for support and help. And a genuine offer of help navigating this situation and a non-judgmental offer of a ride home might have yielded a very different response from her.

But he says “you can’t” and so she does what she knows how to do to survive. She digs in and argues, like she’s had to do to succeed since she can remember. She doesn’t accept a limitation, she doesn’t accept being told what she isn’t able to do.

And that extends to driving, that extends to this thing that she knows is so dangerous and that she could kill someone doing. The context for the scene with her crying in the car being a call to her ex where she asks him to keep their son for the night makes sense. It pulls into focus that she could have harmed her child picking him up and driving home, she could harm someone else’s child.

Because what do you mean the diversion was left vague? If a doctor goes to rehab and was gone for ten months and an audit was done by the charge nurse, wouldn’t admin and HR know at minimum? Why would Robby hide the diversion but be comfortable discussing this with Al Hashimi? Langdon’s return is clearly on Robby, and Robby alone lmao.

Why have Al Hashimi, who has shown to be deeply empathetic and exist as a good foil to Robby, end up acting the exact same way Robby did when he found out? What kind of message are you trying to sell here? Why is the realism getting shit on just for drama purposes?

For someone who cares more about Langdon being asshole than he is an addict, Santos sure has a problem with the addict part. Why mention him relapsing, if the issue was the diversion hmm? Langdon could very well relapse and it could have nothing to do with the hospital. But Santos’ problem was the theft, and now his behavior, but brings up his inevitable relapse? From someone who just stole a scalpel from the hospital? Pick a fucking narrative already, this is getting old! It’s like they want langtos to be mirrors of each other but write it in a way the average audience can’t grasp without additional context.

And another thing: why is a huge chunk of this season’s context given in interviews? Why do we need to read articles and watch interviews to understand the characters and their motives this season, if we want a clearer picture as to what’s happening? We get mild allusions of Robby’s issues with Mohan being reflective of his own failure, but only confirmed in interviews. Santos and her actress claims that she was iced out over Langdon, but clearly nobody knew about the theft. And we don’t see any of that behavior on the show. Noah Wyle’s made it clear part of Robby’s issues with Langdon is his own inability to get better/get help, which is contrasted by Langdon getting help when others haven’t. But 12 episodes later and we haven’t seen any of that, or even knew to look for it if the interviews hadn’t come out early in the season.

So many important things are lost because The Pitt relies too much on external context to make their scenes flow well. But no show should do that because the average audience doesn’t care to do those research. Something has to change in the writing room s3, because this? Is not effective storytelling.

Another thing, and this is more me being annoyed than anything else: but if the show wants me to condemn Langdon that badly for being in so much pain he stole benzos to treat a reliance he developed under the care of a doctor in the same hospital, they would’ve actually tackled that storyline. Why is Hagan not mentioned at all? He was the doctor in charge of Langdon’s initial injury, so why isn’t he mentioned at all in the aftermath? Why do we now have scenes showing that Dana lets other nurses use her prescription medication, or imply she’s pocketing sedatives for emergencies. Santos literally took a scalpel on screen. It’s like they want us to condemn Langdon for how his case was handled, but also double down that this issue is not a personal failing but a reflection of the current state of healthcare.

Princess offers another great window into the better moments of Robby in s2 as well, when he asked about how the patient board was doing and she immediately assumed he was asking about she was doing, because it's probably not out of the ordinary. we only see a window in robby's life, and it's a fucked up window directly into the worst, most mentally ill parts of him.

if anything, it's very impressive that we have good Robby moments at all. that we still have moments of his empathy shining through, that we still have moments where he is likeable. even when he is unquestionably drowning in deep crisis.

Because I'm failing to understand what Santos will gain if everyone in the ED knows that langdon stole drugs even if she thinks it might make her feel better it won't because we already know when langdon wasn't even in the ed those past 10 months she was still picking at the langdon topic with garcia. And as sad as it is Santos ( and the Santos stans ) are viewing langdons addiction from a standpoint of morality which thus equates addiction as immoral and are separating the addiction from the stealing of the drugs with believe it or not are not two separate issues and most of the time they go hand in hand. I should also preface that addiction does not require punishment!! The 10 months of inpatient and the 5 years program is the consequence of it. PHP is a program that helps physicians with addiction get clean get help and keep their licenses. This is literally what harm reduction is. So no he should not be fired and thrown in jail because addiction is not a crime but a mental health issue that requires compassion which everyone preaches but apparently falls short when situations actually call for it.

Also i get that langdon's apology was not very articulate or holding complete responsibility and seeing the consequences of his actions as punishment but idk why the term "bully" is being used very loosely because although his treatment was Santos was inexcusable and inappropriate but why are we acting like Santos was not even slightly at fault she actively disobeyed direct order, cherry picked cases, did risky procedures without oversight as an intern and also turned a patients pneumothorax to a tension pneumothorax as result of her cowboy behavior and was short with her colleagues I.e giving them shitty nicknames even after they told her to stop. So how tf is she a pariah because of langdon but not because of her own attitude.

i also cannot stand how her base instinct is punitive justice. drug addiction is an extremely complicated and difficult disease, and it can lead to criminalized acts because the literal act of existing as a drug addict is criminalized.

what langdon doesn't need is to be humiliated by his entire workplace knowing every detail about the incident that prompted his recovery. what he does need is empathy and a sense of normalcy, just as mckay said to ogilvie while working with the street team patient.

what santos doesn't need is to fuel the cop inside her head that is telling her that all her problems will be solved if langdon goes to jail. what she does need is an actual support system that can recognize the damage done to her by this situation and provide her with the care she needs.

I've got a couple trains of thought, but let's go full my ideal scenario and forget everything else.

Langdon doesn't bring it up, someone notices. Of course they do, they're having to transfer people and Langdon looks like he's going to crack something with how tight he's holding himself. Bonus points if we get a scene of him visibly struggling when he gets a moment to himself. I always imagined Robby's initial comment with his back injury more along a too far bro talk, a "look who's the old man now" kind of thing that Langdon then internalized.

I would love for someone to basically do the classic "you good?" right after we get a scene of him having a bad time. He brushes it off with a comment about his back, and we rack focus to Robby eavesdropping as he so likes to do.

can't believe we're at 5pm already, in some ways it feels like the season just started but it's been 11 hours (weeks) so obviously that's wrong.

it's so crazy to me how locked in i am on this show. the bts team are doing a remarkable job of showing how each day (and obviously the "day" they pick for what i hope is many many many more seasons of the show) is a not just a challenge, but a battle of will with sometimes their own lives being threatened for the healthcare workers. so much kudos. so much respect. utterly in awe.

i know robby made a big speech about how the walls of the er are titanium, and i think that speech is particularly interesting in the light of this episode so here's a non comprehensive list of things that have happened to various characters inside those titanium walls in the er:

robby's friend duke

mel's sister (her deposition, her getting hit on the head)

samira's panic attack, mom calling the red phone

langdon's journey is being "hampered" by a coworker (also his initial indiscretion)

dana was punched (ambulance bay but close enough)

the ICE agents and jesse's consequent arrest

santos's nightmares (langdon and fighting w garcia)

robby's step son, jake's gf, his mentor, his breakdown

emma being attacked

victoria's mom being like head of surgery of whatever and popping in every three eps to tell her er bad, surgery good

cassie's ex showing up, her kid being in the er during pittfest

anyway you can act like your emotional state is best left divorced from the high pressure work you engage in but you'd be wrong

sidebar on this: in S1, we did see them put aside all their personal shit and save 106 gunshot victims. we saw them rise, they went above and beyond, and it's fascinating that it is in fact the last straws (logistics, real world politics, etc) breaking the camel's back

mel and langdon bickering in the ambulance bay. that's it. that's the tweet. he really came back after one day of knowing her and started following her again everywhere she goes didn't he? tbf, he did that on day 1 of knowing her as well so unsurprising

the heat stroke kid- micah and his mom- an absolute tragedy. heartbreaking to know he's likely not going to make it, and mom's dissociative episode almost walking into a truck. i gasped so loud. so happy al hashimi was on top of that. joy clocked it as well. langdon's face when he put micah down on the gurney- i know people think he's faced no consequences but that man is in PAIN.

roxie dying- im glad they didnt fully show it to us like that was a private moment- as much as the er can afford in any case. and bummed that mckay couldn't be there because she was out helping someone else

ogilvie actually bonding with a patient but missing something in his diagnosis :(

really happy to hear howard is okay, and that the re-plantation is going well.

like why did they leave emma- a day one brand new lost lamb -alone in the room with the well established violent patient?

Nurse Jesse- i ride for you at dawn and dusk and any other time you need. you had my respect for entertaining the whole er and now you have my admiration at how you put your body in the way of a patient getting hurt.

sooooo funny that the cast and creators were going around town saying the ICE story is a "balanced" showing and what they showed were absolute terrors disrupting an essential work space by their mere presence, an unnecessary display of violence, the loss of er staff on a day from hell, the loss of patients who need dire medical help, and an absolute lack of humanity towards their charge. not to mention their cowardice because they're wearing masks to cover their own faces. fuck.

Dr. J filming this and hopefully posting it to her "more than you'd think" followers on tiktok. (was so focused on the helmetless motorcycle chekov's gun, i totally missed the Dr. J chekov's gun.)

deep sigh- santos and langdon. look, she's wrong to demand he tell everyone about stealing drugs and her whole reaction to him is colored by how he treated her (which was bad) and her own experiences with the loss of her friend. she thinks only three people know- but garcia, dana, robby, santos, likely whitaker, likely abbot- and the onus of not turning him into the cops lies on robby. langdon's done the work, he had a disease, and he's doing his best to stay sober and keep his kids, and be a good doctor. he is "the golden boy" for a reason okay? i don't believe in justice as being punitive and him losing his license would mean the loss of a competent, kind, generally well-liked healthcare worker who is also a good teacher in a time where the system is already tearing at the seems. she's being unfair and unkind and perhaps even demonizing someone who ultimately put his professional career at risk by coming back to help the pitt fest victims even after he'd been caught.

BUT- a poc woman being told she would have to repeat a year because of charting while the white man had to repeat a year because he stole drugs? like i get it. it's frustrating knowing that her punishment would be different. and she was humiliated, and sidelined. (and don't come at me for this- langdon himself said in s1 that the family with the boy who consumed marijuana was going to be fine because he's white)

(their matching inner shirts, the wide blue eyes, the dark hair- they are never beating the twin allegations)

GAWD the way robby forgave ogilvie and laid into samira right after ughhhhhhhhh

i probably will have lots more to say in the coming week, but what an absolutely miserable hour of television, your honor i need 37 more pls and thank you