Merplle

ok, so. when billy died and there was that scene of todd telling theo he was going to leave him he asked him to stop being so horrible to him, to which theo agreed

and i would argue that he's kept to what are now deemed acceptable actions he can do; manipulation, blaming and control. all of which he was done with this veneer of looking out for todd.

and because of this, todd has managed to convince himself that everything is okay. that maybe it is a fluke. that the past few months were just a 'phase' or that now they can behave like a 'normal' couple. but they cant. because all theo has done is test the waters on how far he can go until, maybe without realising it, or maybe with, todd is back in that same place he was before the minibus crash.

only this time he feels even deeper that he cannot leave. because the last time he tried it caused the death of his best friend and the only one who knew about the abuse. in addition, he wants to stay for summer, he promised her that- he has already left once and i doubt, especially now, he wants a repeat.

because to leave theo right now, in contrast to the other times he has tried, would force him to tell someone: summer, george, sarah anyone, at least vaguely what is happening to him. he cant just pack a bag and leave with no warning- Summer is living with them. so he stays and he feels like he is the problem that needs solving, that theo is not the one with the issue.

he literally says as much to billy after theo made him walk in the rain; im selfish, inconsiderate. he fully believes he is the one who needs to change. he is happier to let george think he cant handle his money than tell him the truth. i bet there may even be a part of him that thinks if he did tell someone they would not believe him. because he has a past, one that is pretty manipulative, and what would that do to him if his closest friends thought he was lying?

so now, i think, is about trying to convince himself that everything is fine. theo is concerned about me, thats why he sends me on these runs or controls my diet or i am bad with money, thats why theo should talk control of the finances or i did change my mind about having sex, it was consensual.

even when he does question it, he backs off pretty quick because he knows what the consequences of fighting theo are; not just with him getting hurt, but when Todd did fight back, theo ended up in hospital.