y u do dis?

im screeaming out of my ears

act a fool girls

5) Carrie Fisher would be proud

power move: put the fbi agent watching you through a series of endurance tests. stay awake for 72 hours. put obscene images over your webcam. chew gum really loudly next to your mic. they may have wiretaps but by god they won’t have peace

My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it’s old and America is spooky because it’s big

“The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.” –Earle Hitchner

English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing

China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over; we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it’s maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said “not THAT old” (bearing in mind they were Chinese) “it’s from the 1500s.” To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised I’d forgotten something: “…I mean it’s from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ” and they went “oh, AFTER…”.

My dad’s favorite quote from various tours in Italy was “Pay no attention to the tower – it was a [scornful tone] tenth century addition.”

My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago “A very nice village.” 

This post keeps getting better

@voidbat This is important

some cats are ten thousand percent not fucking around.

“THAT IS UNNECESSARY!!!” HOLY FUCKIN SHIT I LOVE THAT LIL KITTY

I think all cats view each other as equals & this supports my theory

“Baggy. Baggy! Abort! There’s nothing to be gained, Baggy!”

Tea

a valuable word.

Does work with this for a change. 🤣