MeriaGLOCK

Sam is sexy af, but not in an traditional way.

Sam is the guy who will take care of you. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed made from vegetables from his garden and eggs from his chickens. He’ll build a fire in the evening and rub your feet.

Merry: ?I am now

Boromir: what are baby hobbits called

Merry: …hobbit… babies?

Boromir: yes those, what do you call them?

Merry: hobbit babies.

Boromir: yes but what are they CALLED.

Merry: hobbit. babies.

Boromir: but what are they called?

Merry: I give up *goes back to sleep*

Merry: hey Boromir

Boromir: hm?

Merry: last night. did you wake me up. to ask me what hobbit babies are called.

Merry: or did I dream that

Boromir: ………………….you never answered the question

Merry: yes I did

Boromir: no you didn’t

Merry: Frodo. Sam. Anyone. please help.

Sam: Mr Merry what the fresh hell are you talking about

Merry: Sam tell Boromir what we call baby hobbits

Sam: ……you mean… babies?

Merry: exactly

Boromir: ………….OH

Boromir: I thought. there might be a special word.

Sam: no we just call them babies why would there be a special word

Merry: what would it even… be

Boromir: I don’t know that’s why I was ASKING

Merry: no

Pippin: I’m making it happen

Merry: nO

Pippin: bobbits. little bobbits. back when i was a bobbit. I love it.

Sam: *not looking up from what he’s doing* Mr Pippin if you ever say that word around me again I am going to rip your guts out through your nose

Pippin: ……………wow.

*Merry losing his shit in the foreground*

Pippin: Gandalf how many times do I have to tell you, I already have a father

Gandalf: so?

Merry: I’m on the market for a new dad actually

Merry: ………….Yes, well, I’ve said the same thing myself a hundred times.

my shit idiot gremlin brain:

tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it

cs lewis: they fucking suck

Tolkien: what do you mean

CS Lewis: I just. you describe a lot of trees.  are trees that important

Tolkien: just you fucking wait. trees are SO important.