fight like a girl

Margot Morrison, aptly given the title Life of the Party (by herself), sauntered into the cafe, slithering her way through the terribly dressed soirée goers in search of trouble and a glass of wine. “Excuse me, hi,” she started, a condescending smirk on the edge of her lips. “I’ve been here for exactly one minute, why is there not a filled wine glass in my hand?”

Hey, how are you? You look wonderful as always and let me just say, if you’re looking for another reason to throw on something else just as wonderful- [ Isaiah fished out one of his and Julia’s handy business cards (and his million dollar smile) ]- keep us in mind. Best event planners this side of the ocean.

@havensdalestarters​

I’m…Would you like a cake pop? They’re really good. Not to brag. I’m not trying to brag. But they’re really good. And shockingly easy to make.

Why, yes, I would love one. This should tide me over til I can get my lunch break, thank you.

Those prom bribes are strictly high sugar, high sprinkles, high subliminal messaging so I don’t think you’re going to find a sufficient snack in all of— … That.

Meredith?

I--... Paul...

Would you like a cupcake, Doctor Brightman? It’s a ‘vote Faye’ one but you obviously do not have to do that. Plus Bonnie is keeping her voting intentions under wraps so really it’s just a cupcake.

You promise? A free cupcake? No stings attached?

There’s something entirely unfair about them only handing out free stuff to kids who can actually vote. Like, we could have influence over the outcome. I have a niece who goes there. And a nephew.

What’s your meeting about?

Oh, same here. If I show them a picture of my niece, do you think they’ll give me their stupid cupcakes?

Mer, are you trying to scam the kids out of their well-earned prom bribes? [ clicks her tongue ] Hashtag shame on you. Saying that, Felicity has about a bajillion ‘vote for Faye’ cupcakes in the kitchen right now so I snagged a box. You’re welcome. But please also tell me all about your meeting, I’m doing everything I can to put off getting to this dinner with my beloved family.

Since when do you give me hashtags? Not scamming, I’m helping them! They want to be giving these things away, don’t they? Cupcake, please.

Oh god no. I don’t have children. And if I did, they certainly wouldn’t be running for a prom. These people need to get their priorities in order. Prom lasts one night, the STD you get from your date lasts a lifetime. But, uh…I think I might have a smushed cereal bar in one of my pockets, hold on–Ah, found it. It’s cranberry-almond, do you want it?

Are you speaking from experience? Wanna get that checked out at the hospital?

My dear no. Don’t succumb to the hunger, ride the wave. You can’t fill your body with empty calories simply because it’s convenient. Have you tried kale salads? Very tasty and very healthy.

Did you just say ‘kale salad’?

Finally.

I am sorry but have you any idea how long I have been waiting in here, Doctor Brightman? Honestly. If this is the way that you conduct your own business I can only imagine how the rest of this hospital is fairing. Anyway. Can we, once again, discuss the current ER environment? I could practically feel myself becoming sicker the longer I sat there.

Are you getting any of this?

@meredithbrightmiss

[blinks as if to try and understand this high-pitched demon better] Miss... What was it again? Look, I can assure you my hospital is run with the utmost efficiency. What brings you in here exactly?

I knew it, I knew it and here I am. You have your ‘only a fantastic red can help me now’ face on, it was going off like a siren. Oh my gosh, I don’t know how you keep up with everything there, honestly. All that number work and pissed off employees… I’ll be sure to keep you a bottle for the road, Meredith.

Uh huh, right? The undertones. Oh, I’m just great! This all seems to be going off without a hitch so I’m super relieved. I thought maybe, just maybe, Linda or Felicity Montgomery would try to step on my toes and throw something on the same night but we seem to have escaped unscathed.

I’m pretty sure that’s just my face, Karen-- ha, kidding, but hand it over. Honestly, my employees complain too much and I am just up to here, you know? Oh, I so appreciate that.

Oh my gosh, hi!

Hi, welcome. You look fantastic, have you had a glass yet? Here, let me get you one. You have to try this red, it’s got this chocolate-y undertone that you will love. And then there’s the actual chocolate, oh my god. And cheese. I have Daniel out getting more right now. Anyway, how are you?

Oh, good, I need wine now. I’m doing alright, just in the middle of trying to re-write the hospital’s budget this year. God only knows how that’ll end.

Thank you ma’am. Maybe I will that espresso. Ooh. Or a mocha?

Make that two mochas. One with double espresso.

I’d rather that than be dragged along to another dinner stocked with age-appropriate, high-caliber boys but what are you, a doctor?

What’s wrong with age-appropriate high-caliber boys?