natalie

*feels both “I am so bored & understimulated I want to do EVERYTHING!” and “I am so exhausted & overwhelmed I can’t do ANYTHING” at the same time*

the hell is 6 i have never seen anyone do 6 before

he just ate 15 mild chicken wings and dont want sauce on his glasses whats not to get

Anyway, I want to be rawed romantically

Chefs that cook in front of you at a restaurant are the lap dancers of the fine dining industry

It’s true but you shouldn’t say it.

That take is so hot it’s like it came off a hibachi grill

I guess “sandwich artist” had a hidden meaning all along

??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat

i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here

would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still

chaotic good

“First of all” I say indignantly, with absolutely no idea where i’m going with this

i say “first of all” with an immense amount of confidence and then immediately forget what i was about to say

if i saw a ghost i would simply bust it

The ghost, or?

*feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like, too much* mmm not a fan of that either

“i like your personality!” thanks! It’s a complete copy of others traits I picked up along the way to fill the empty shell of the person I am!

That…that’s what personalities are? You don’t shoot out the womb with wit and charm, you learn and adapt and accumulate your personality from the people you surround yourself with. Everyone is a mishmash of things they like about other people!

Good point actually, I didn’t think of it like that

being horny is so fucking stupid. if you horny you’re immediately a dumbass. that person could literally just be wearing a t shirt and the sight of their collarbone feels like you just snorted a line of coke. god fucking forbid they wear pants rolled over their ankles. you’re foaming at the mouth and crounched on the floor like a fucking animal. you catch the sight of (1) toned muscle? flatlined. dead.

OP are you okay

does it sound like im okay? does it fucking sound like-

made this post bc i accidentally pulled my earbud out of my ear right before my favorite part of bohemian rhapsody and i cried about it

Any animal: *sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sn

I’m a simple woman I think “this is likely going to happen and it’ll upset me” and then the thing happens and it upsets me

The generational divide came and punched them in the face