this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).
and this then backfires on him SO FAST.
now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.
weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just
"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"
shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"
"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."
"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.
shane receives five more weighted blankets.
