Recovering Goat

*stays alive just in case things get better*

i tried so fucking hard to scroll past this

i tried and i failed

i cant breathe.

send help. dying

fuck

I am the snake in my boot

Goddamnit it’s back. Again

*jumps over my problems* parkour

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

i do bite my thumb, sir

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

is the law on our side if i say ay?

No

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

Do you quarrel, sir?

No better

well, sir

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

The Shakespeare fandom is out of control

oh my gosh

I was at the post office one day when an elderly lady in front of me asked for a single stamp. Obviously considering this a waste of her time, the woman behind the counter makes a snorting noise, rips off a stamp and flicks it across the counter where it lands on the floor. She doesn’t apologise or offer the lady another stamp. The old lady considers for a second, picks up the stamp and leaves her 50 cent piece on the floor in its place. She says a cheery “Thank you!” and walks out, and the woman behind the counter has to walk around to pick up the money. It made me smile for the rest of the day. 

*new yorker voice* bada bing

*other new yorker across the street* bada boom

*another New Yorker opens their window* FORGET ABOUT IT

*new yorker on rooftop* IM WALKIN HERE

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

this fucks me up every single time

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now