I don’t think lll be able to make it realistically

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@mentally-manicc
I don’t think lll be able to make it realistically

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I find it genuinely impressive how i can forget i have a diagnosis until it physically attacks me. How'd i forget i have DID? The world will never know. Also the repressed memories refused to stay repressed <3
Me: Oh man I am so stressed out lately I sure wish I had someone that could take on some of these responsibilities for me
My brain immediately:
“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person

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making it through the day but at what cost
Love being abandoned 🥰 so good for my mental health
"You’re so polite" thanks i was raised in constant fear of upsetting people.
I hope i dont wake up tomorrow. I hope i die tonight. If any day was good enough to die itd be today. So please, let me die tonight. I pray I die tonight.
“surely this will not cause my chronic illness to flare up,” i say, actively doing something that has never failed to flare my chronic illness

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War is somewhat over i got diagnosed from a good nice dr who actually cared
what I say: “it is what it is”
what I mean: “I have cried about this for hours and have probably self harmed and contemplated suicide over this.
some of u bitches r trying your hardest to stay positive and hopeful despite all the bullshit you’ve been going thru and it really shows and i’m proud of u
Me: *turns off a song that I love*
Hallucinations: Nope, we aren’t done yet *starts hallucinating the song*
born to rot alone in my room.
forced to go outside and communicate with others.

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Bpd and break ups are actually the worse combination im at the edge
Beta blockers: 1
Me: 0
I didn’t know these would cause so much tiredness