Memoir of Me Through My Poetry

as if I could paint them over in yellows and golds

to make them feel as if there’re more than their sadness.

People become convinced behind those walls

that they’re not worth the love that I wish to show them.

I will feel it all again, someday.

The weightlessness that once wrapped me up, from my head to my toes in a puppy love buzz.. with a permanent blush and no control. When my thoughts were not turning through their usual cycles,

But it's sweetly surprising, that instead of being greeted by atrocities, you are enveloped in unexplainable grace. A lightness this world doesn't offer unless you know where to look.

when someone asked to read my poetry,

as if to shield them from the things I've felt.

Sometimes an unfiltered existence is a lot to be held,

even so that we withhold it from ourselves.

And every so often, in a glimpse on a page or a post tucked away somewhere,

the most real parts of ourself bellows

that will have you question who you really are.

You see this stranger you have become to protect your heart, that got hurt along the way.

Keeping our cards hidden,

Disguise and destroy.

There’s dealers of lies,

Stolen hands of joy;

We too readily bet our happiness

For temporary toys.

If you leave with your humanity,

Heart still intact,

You’re a tactical player in life’s game of jack.

Sleeping, but never knowing rest,

This is why we should be kind

To one another.

Everyone’s pain is undercover,

As we try to survive

And smile at the same time.

And feel as soft as petunia petals

This life that you are living.

I wish you light and laughter so real

That your smile reaches your ears

Let the years be kind to you

For all the areas of my little life to be in order,

Yet not bear the burden of keeping everything in it’s place.

The weight of simplicity is anything but simple,

I wish to rest somewhere in the middle.

Letting God hold it all together

Sounds a lot better

than trying to do it all

on my own.

Than lose any more parts of myself trying

to make them see something in me

they were never meant to see

from the start.

As if the coldness of the world could swallow me whole;

So I leapt across state lines,

My hands kissed their welcome signs,

And my soul sang with their passing.

The reflections of my ghosts in the rearview

never thought I’d leave them behind.

And woke up beneath Virginia stars;

When the old ways die away,

New life is never far.

when once upon many times you thought you’d never make it to where you are today.

It will be lovely, and weightless; so different than all the days before that you spent fighting;

And now, finally.. you’ll feel as strong as you’ve always been,

Darling, you just didn’t know it yet.

Where we wake up just to look forward to sleep;

It’s the smiling faces that are facing silent war-zones,

And why we should be kind to the strangers we meet.

As if we could speed up our problems disappearance in our sleep,

So we don’t have to feel the mending, the mourning,

Nor the pieces pulling themselves back together.

I’m stubbornly coming to learn that is a soft process, a slow one,

One that demands to be felt, so we must let it;

Then and only will then will we witness ourselves grow, heal—

From the broken parts of ourselves we just needed to accept.

No matter how early the morning, nor the lack of coffee I’ve had.

May I never forget how beautiful this world can be,

And my problems never weigh me down too far from happiness

That can be found in a lovely bird’s song.