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Remus Sanders Text Posts 21/?: OCD Edition

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[One: My OCD: *playing a mixtape of intrusive thoughts* Me @ my OCD: Shuddap. My Ocs: *cranks the volume up.*

Two: Me: I’ve actually been managing my illness well lately- My brain, 2 days later, to the tune of ‘this is halloween’: THIS IS OCD THIS IS OCD THIS IS OCD

Three: Me: I won’t argue with an irrational thought. Me: *argues with an irrational thought*

Four: Intrusive thought: h- Me: begone THOUGHT!

Five: Hahaha but like why am I such an insecure paranoid piece of shit?

Six: Every single person without OCD who makes “lol I’m so OCD” comments owes me and all my intrusive thoughts 5 dollars.

Seven: “Oh wow, you don’t look like you have OCD” Wh…What the hell doesOCD look like then??

Eight: Me: *does something small that will never impact my life in the future, like watching a certainshow or eating a certain food* My OCD: You Will Regret That.

Nine: Me: *has an intrusive thought* Me: “What if I just…ignored that and continued about my day?” My OCD: “Nah, fixate on it and convince yourself it means something about who you are as a person.”

Ten: Me: *going about my day minding my own business. My brain: Here, have some violent, sexual, grusome, disturbingly vivid images! Me: Wow, those sure are some intrusive thoughts you’ve got there. My brain: Oh by the way, everybody can read your mind now. Me: Thanks, pal. My brain: No problem. :)]

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• It’s not only the wounds/scars/bruises/scratches you have to hide. You also have to hide the bloodied tissues, the used plasters, the plaster stickers and the thing you harmed yourself with.

• It hurts like hell when you’re in the shower

• It hurts like hell when you move while sleeping

• It hurts like hell when you accidentally hit against an object with the fresh wound

• It hurts like hell when it gets infected

• It itches madly while it’s healing

• It becomes an addiction. It becomes the only thing that helps.

• It will have a huge affect on your job opportunities

• Often, you won’t be prepared for embarassing questions

• On a bad day, you will run out of space

• You have to be careful while harming and after, there’s the possibility of the wound getting infected, making a danger for sepsis

• You constantly think about the damage you’ve done

• You constantly worry about others finding out

My Therapist: Then do it.

Me: I’m sorry?

My Therapist: Primal screeching is one way of completing your stress cycle, do it. Be mindful of where you are, I usually do it in my car, but yeah. Go for it.

Me: Ah- Oh.

My dad has always had me do this, especially when I was little and kept the baby up. We would go into the back yard, point to the river (to keep the ship captains up at night) and scream. I was also told to jump up and down to “get all the scream out” 

I did this in college too. There’s nothing more cathartic than climbing the fence of the fishing pier, running to the end of it and screaming into the wind. It’s powerful, it’s therapeutic, it’s feral and wonderful. 

I did this with kids too, when they have too much energy. When I worked at a children’s camp and the kids had too much energy when the rain canceled pool time I took them out in the rain, made them jump up and down and scream, and then 15 some nine-year-olds and I would rance across the field screaming in the rain

Every 40 seconds someone commits suicide.

By recognising you have it, you can better understand and help yourself.

Me: yes.