MelonHere

they already are. And I think that this speaks to how being outcasted has affected Nakamura.

In general, Nakamura tends to misunderstand and misanalyze relationships and interactions between people quite a lot, and I think that’s hugely because he doesn’t really have much of a framework to understand what having friends and/or lovers is actually like besides what he sees in stories, and that’s exactly because he’s been outcasted. He has this specific image of what being friends should look like that he can’t immediately recognize a friendship that may be a little different to it, even and especially if that friendship includes him. He seems to have been expecting this big, grand, and instant flip from strangers to friends that only happens if you voice it out, when in this case, the change was more gradual and he was already right in the middle of that process. He needed the permission to be friends and the confirmation to know that they are friends despite them already acting like one!

I also think that it’s interesting how the pressure to fit in also affects Hirose. On the surface, his situation seems to be the complete opposite of Nakamura’s—he’s someone who seems to be a much more socially fulfilled person with a bunch of friends. But part of why he has that many friends is how, at times, he feels obligated to go along with what the others want regardless of what he himself actually wants just for the sake of avoiding conflict, especially when it comes to people who aren’t as accepting of his refusal—e.g. how Takeuchi tries to pressure him into riding the ferry with them, whereas Tsukasa was presumably more accepting of Hirose’s decision to go with Nakamura into the aquarium, with him and Hirose being lifelong friends probably playing a part into that.

I think that part of the reason why Hirose is drawn to Nakamura—why he keeps reaching out to him, telling him to be proud of who he is and be honest of what he wants (despite Hirose himself not really doing the same at some points)—is because, in some ways, he sees himself in him, and wants that same confidence that he’s trying to give Nakamura even if he himself is unable to fully reach it on his own. It’s also part of the reason why he looks up to Otogiri—a confident grown up—and why he cares enough to know otherwise when Nakamura claims to not like something that he actually likes out of shame. 

And so it’s really nice to see Hirose and Nakamura find comfort in each other’s presence, understand and support each other into becoming more confident, and to finally be on the same page about their friendship. And the fact that it’s precisely their shared love for sea creatures and the ocean—the very thing that Nakamura was shamed for—that puts them closer together and let’s them enjoy each other’s company away from others is a huge step for Nakamura’s self-acceptance.

After Nakamura finds out that Hirose got a girlfriend, he walks around town empty and processes it verrrryyy slowly. Not in the usual comical way, but in a sad, depressing way that helps the viewer realize he's truly upset. The quietness and solemn music only further push this.

What I want to focus on is the couples surrounding him in this moment however.

The straight couples surrounding him. There's like 7 of them in this 40 second clip alone, with Nakamura either completely out of frame or in frame but out of focus.

This moment means so much to me. It really highlights the prevalence of straight relationships in the media AND in the day to day. It displays a common factor in the queer experience: loneliness. Besides Matsumura, Nakamura doesn't know anyone else who is LGBTQ+ (to my knowledge). Nakamura being surrounded by happy straight couples after finding out his crush is dating a girl is, well, crushing.

Pointing out the obvious, I know, but dating while straight is completely different that dating while gay. For straight people, the question that the love interest likes the opposite sex isn't even a question. It's just assumed. For queer people, knowing if the love interest even likes the same sex is the most prominent.

since the anime is from Nakamura's perspective, it goes to show that Nakamura is observing this. I think this moment is him realizing he's been living in a fantasy world that just doesn't match up with reality, and he's now acutely aware.

It's unfortunately common for queer characters/relationships (whether canon or heavily implied) to be thrown to the side for the sake of straight couples/ships. The camera focus on these random couples instead of on Nakamura, the gay main character, reminds me very much of this. I see this as both a commentary on how some media fails its queer characters and Nakamura realizing the reality of his situation.

And then he tries to put his feelings to the side.

Which is understandable. Wanting the best for Hirose is noble, it's admirable. But it doesn't erase the hurt. Even after accepting Hirose dating Hana, and wanting the best for them, he's still horribly upset.

So I'm glad they let Nakamura cry.

Besides that, I want to say that I find the trope of the queer character learning that love is "about the journey, not the destination" (and/or that they only need self-love) to be old fashioned and disappointing. While I think that's a good message for most, too many queer characters AND REAL QUEER PEOPLE experience this for it to be a satisfying ending. Queer people deserve love too. Deserve to receive love back.

So I was watching TFA and I just started drawing the Light brothers.

They don't know me but I miss them </3

ALSO THEY HAVE A VILLAIN OF THE MONTH FORMULA going on now. Which I guess they sort of had before?? But it had more relevance i guess??? Like the characters actually felt more connected to the characters before like Eclipse, Bloodmoon, Killcode...maybe Ruin but he kinda just showed up because he has to destroy other universes to...something, it wasn't very memorable (sorry Ruin fans, please enlighten me), and then there was Nexus/New Moon which I will say DID actually intrigue me, he was edgy in a silly corny way, but I did like that he was more connected, it made sense that he had a crashout. ACTUALLY THAT'S WHAT IT IS!! The antagonists were the way they were BECAUSE sun and/or moon specifically wronged them in some way, except for Bloodmoon, they had other issues. WHICH I'm still upset that they didn't resolve btw, and also the double standards some characters got (Bloodmoon could have actually had a redemption but then they just forgot about character development i guess, and that Bloodmoon WAS actually capable of reason and was honestly pretty chill as long as there was a literal blood moon, and they had blood to eat).

Now... Davis's girlfriend playing a character is true, she plays as Sun's sister Earth/Terra? (There were name changes that happened recently for some reason and I can't be bothered to see why tbh), and as Gemini, the Pollux (polux?) half, who was supposed to be in a relationship with Lunar/Cosmos (both exist apparently and are the same guy but not idk anymore) but they had it not workout. I don't think it was ever ever officially stated anywhere that it was jealousy reasons between the actual va's, but i can definitely see that being a legitimate reason (for now though, definitely a rumor that's potentially true), it's why Earth(Terra)/Monty is a thing to begin with.

They don't know me but I miss them </3

inspired by a convo about mm3 having too many blue people

also!! (some) process video under cut!! i remembered to save one for once!!