Major Crimes (things that shoulda been)
I don’t know how to do a “under the cut”
So, if you need to avoid a spoiler for Major Crimes (which finished in 2017 or 2018, I forget… time is really mussy in my head right now)
Theeeeeeeeeeeen…. take the title and these sentences as a cue to start scrolling away to avoid it :) (i’ll also make sure to tag it as such)
ON THAT NOTE, let’s roll. Spudmeisterin and I were talking about the ending, and how bloody bad/lazy writing it was. so here’s some points we came up with.
(i realize they wanted to be dramatic and surprising, but they missed the mark) What would be more surprising, is if they allowed Sharon Raydor to retire happily. (because killing women for people’s pain so they can finish the impossible task, as well as “close to retirement so must die” and also “i’m happy/just married so must die” tropes are just….so rife. just soooo rife)
She had the same heart thing (ouch) cuz, let’s face it… life can do that. Whether or not she needed the transplant or was put on a pacemaker and a severe restriction on her job choices/retirement choices, I’ll leave that up to you.
Either way, she’s out for that part of the season. The rest of the team nails Stroh the cartoon villain serial killer. yada yada.
They come back to her hospital room after Stroh is shot. Andy is there, as well as Provenza, Julio, Rusty, and Amy.
Sharon is like, “did you get him?” (meaning, did you catch the bastid etc)
Provenza does his little…kinda look down sheepish and is like, captain we had to shoot him. I shot him.
And Andy chimes in like, “really, he totally did it”.
Which causes Sharon to do that all knowing, “Mmm.”
(she knows that Provenza didn’t do it, but she doesn’t care. Stroh is done, everyone’s healthy/safe/accounted for.)
they do the usual happy banter, then the nurse is like, she’s still got a long road to recovery, everyone out, she needs rest.
Sharon Raydor retires Officially. (so does Andy) They had some awful close calls, and they want to enjoy their worlds, and the time they have left.
That doesn’t mean that they don’t do occasional consulting (kinda like alexa crowe in “my life is murder”)
It should be noted that Provenza is unlikely to retire until he literally cannot anymore.. He’s absolutely running the Major Crimes unit.
Rusty becomes a proper DA (working with Hobbs, instead of just interning)
Sharon and Andy embarrass (cutely) the hell out of Rusty at his wedding. (i can’t decide if he gets back together with Gus, or he finds someone else along his healing journey. The writers really just flung their story all over the place)
anyhoo. it’s cute. much goofy dancing.
Provenza gives Best man speech, and Rusty hides his face in his hands on the table.
(ooo. the night before, part of the bachelor party, the gang goes axe throwing. Julio and Amy clean up on the bets (but which one wins between them?)
Some times, Sharon, Andy, Rusty, his hubs, Provenza and Patrice, go to disneyland. it’s a retiree thing/family thing. They love the really freaking weird rides. Patrice has a special hat made for Provenza saying “Louie”. He grumbles at first, but accepts that He’s wearing it, because Patrice is wearing hers ^,^
He won’t go to Disneyworld though, because California is superior (or he’s a grump, it’s hard to say which)
and because it sounds about right to me, Sharon and Andy make it somewhere into their 80′s.
If anyone else wants to add to some of the ridiculous antics, feel free. And spuds, I think i forgot a point or two, feel free to add ^,^
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