病めるアイドル

出逢う全ての

言葉や景色に

敏感に反応して

まだその選び方さえ

掴めない

そんなにも生きることが

むずかしい

それでいい

澄んでいる

それでいい筈なのに

今日も息の仕方を探してる

知っているのに

まいにち波に溺れて

分からなくなる

本当は

この空の青さに

色んなスタイルがあって

それでいい。

つくっていきたい空間を

気持ちの抱き方。

ジェットコースターみたいに

走り出したらもう逃げ出せない。

恐い気持ちで不安に押し潰されながら

終えてしまうのではなく

少しだけ

楽しんでみる気持ちを掴んでみる。

乗り込んで

走り出し

皐月

辛くて苦しくて逃げ出したい時があって、

でも、

命の限り歌ってるよ。

「涙が零れてもstay by my side」

-

3年前の1stアルバムレコ中の私へ。

相変わらず人生は苦しみの連続だけど、

それでもmetal warriorとして

May

When you're truly in pain,

you just want to run away

from everything and disappear.

But that's precisely

why people exist around us.

We live together with other people,

and I think that's a very precious thing.

-

Opposing viewpoints are important,

and each side is necessary.

I hope I can enjoy life more tomorrow

than today, and I will not give up

on believing that future will come to pass.

-

I've been rewatching the JoJo series

and just finished watching

"Stardust Crusaders."

JoJo's line,

"I'm tired of hearing 'impossible' and 'useless'," really struck a chord with me,

and I want to keep that in mind.

They're truly cool guys…

-

I want to use this English.

"super duper"

-

I wondered why I felt couldn't accept idols

and artists using AI in their images

and art. But then I realized

that I want to see the paths

they travelled and the drama

that arises from their real lives.

I believe that is the strength and art

that we humans have given birth to.

-

Every year for Mother's Day,

I send my mom her favorite

mango pudding, & this year

I received a message from her that said,

"Don't work too hard and hurt

your throat."

A few years ago I never imagined

the day would come when my mom

would be cheering me on,

so I was really happy‥

-

Those of you who have known me

for a while may have noticed,

but I've been smiling much more naturally

in the last few years.

I was truly surprised

when I saw my expressions

in the video data we shot a few days ago.

It will be released soon. Stay tuned!

-

The new EP is up and we will deliver it

to you all very soon.

There were a lot of twists and turns

along the way, but when

I listened to the final version,

I felt so fulfilled I cried‥

I'm so happy

I can deliver something like this.

What's your favorite Isiliel song right now?

2026.0518

-

There was a time a while ago

I felt like my heart

might not be able to be moved anymore.

But lately through all the wonderful people

around me and the amazing things

I've experienced I can feel my it

moving again. It can be scary,

but I want to keep putting my heart

on the line.

-

It truly makes me happy to know

that the songs, melodies, videos,

and other things we've created together

will always exist no matter

how much time passes,

and that they will keep inspiring

hope again and again.

I want to keep creating things like that

Fremont St, Las Vegas, June 1986. Under the marquee of Sassy Sally’s. Cosmo’s Restaurant was below the casino in a space that was once a nightclub. Photo from Gerrie Versluis.

Cookie’s Bustle: Mysterious Bombo World (Rodik, Mac/Windows, 1999)