Imperfectly Perfect

I thought it would be more dramatic, I imagined myself screaming on the phone telling you that I wasn’t mad but I hoped that you cared because you do everything in your power to make it look like you don’t, I thought I’d send you paragraphs explaining why I never wanted to hear from you again but I didn’t do any of that. I let it pass, I stopped making an effort, silently hoping you’d call and say you missed me or texted me to ask about my day and when you didn’t I reminded myself why it was so important that I didn’t either. After months of disguising my emotions and picking myself together just to drop every piece and break it further I finally learnt to put myself first and turn my back on you. I like to think I deserve a lot more than painful love and that’s progress.

Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.

If you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy. Even if you wind up being left out.

Ikaw, halos di makalimot. Sya, halos hindi maka alala.

When the time comes that I can finally say I’m okay and you’ve already fixed your shits in life, I hope we’re still into each other. Rather, I hope I still have place in your life, in your heart. Cause mine will never change, you’re still the one for me.

you and i    were never made to last we were made of    silent screams and broken promises    and tear-stained cheeks and sleepless nights    and false hope and empty words    and doors slammed on fingers we were made of fear    and rage and loneliness    and jealousy and bitterness    but we were never made of love

She’s not easy. She’s not always affectionate. She’s got her ups and downs, her good days and her bad. She’ll make you feel invincible one day and weak the next. She’ll scare you. That’s the way it is. You’ll be tempted to leave, to run. But you won’t. You’ll always come back because underneath it all she’s still perfect, because she’s still your world.