good luck to anyone who struggles around the holidays. sending some love.
still true in 2025. much love, 2018 me.

â
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#extradirty

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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@blueztar
good luck to anyone who struggles around the holidays. sending some love.
still true in 2025. much love, 2018 me.

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So, I know the last time I posted I told you all I've been going back to writing, and yes I did, but I'm writing more on my physical journal now. Helps keep the screentime less, and also helps me not get distracted by things over the internet.
Anyway, there really is nothing new with me this past year, but I'm happy to have reached my goal of hiking at least once a month this year. I've discovered a lot of cool places, and have reflected a lot on myself when I go hiking. I usually go solo, but there were a few times when I went with people I actually want to hike with. Special people, they are for sure.
Haven't actually done one yet for this month, it's been that type of month where I feel like a bear and just want to go into my hibernation season, but I may go this Saturday somewhere. The person I wanted to hike with is going to be away though, so I'm doing it solo again. No worries, he still gets the pictures from me regardless hahaha
Anyway I hope everyone's doing okay, and if you find that you are not, I hope you'll be okay soon. <3
That's all for now hehez
things to not feel guilty about:
putting yourself first
setting boundaries and saying ânoâ
resting and taking downtime
nourishing your body
âgiving upâ on things not meant for you
taking time to heal even if itâs longer than expected
failing (no matter how many times you do it)
feel free to add!
Guess what: I have started writing again.
âNo-one will love you exactly the way you want them to. You just have to let them do their best.â
â Unknown

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Push yourself to do the things that might take some extra time and discipline, but will help you grow in the long run. Journaling, cooking homemade meals, working out, stepping out of your comfort zone, confronting issues, completing tedious tasks. Self care isnât always about providing comfort for yourself, itâs about doing the things you might not want to in the moment for the wellbeing of your future self.
Answers
On the other side of my over           thinking Iâve come to realize I still have more questions              than answers The future feels just the same as it did ten years ago when my now was my future             then Friends are more often thought about             than visited when later today turns into tomorrow and tomorrow turns                  into this weekend and then next weekend once a month              whenever you can because time pushes us all into this strange thing               called Life and itâs full of all kinds of bullshit designed to rob you of your money           your sanity                     your time but donât let this discourage you from greeting tomorrow                    with open arms
and a head full of more questions than answers The magic doesnât seem to happen as often, but on the days it does You have a good day at work, you pay all the monthly bills on time, your schedule syncs with an old college friend and you meet for coffee, or street tacos from a local food trailer, or you shoot pool and whiskey at a dive bar early Saturday evening and it feels like the old times again, and you learn the things you did were your first stumblings into adulthood and even though they sometimes change the way you walk forever, itâs those times you discover again when you start your third game and the songs you queued on the jukebox start playing and now that you can enjoy the taste of good whiskey more than the quantity of well, and all the loose fragments of the memories we carry every day, left open on the table in a journal with more strikeout lines than unmolested phrases all become complete with each corner pocket called shot, each memory recalled and retold with language alluding Greek Epics and Shakespearean Tragedies, It all starts to make more sense in ways and stops making sense in others, and the future is the same as it always was some things           you can change, some people           you can keep some days          turn into weeks,          months, and years          trying to make sense of whatâs coming, of whatâs gone, of just what, exactly,                 we have now. ŠBryan Grissom, 2015 Response poem to a deeply inspiring and insightful quote from lm dikokabisado via poetrydenÂ
It's always fascinating to see the day-to-day effect of a woman in touch with her divine feminine. Whenever I wear my pink dresses in my "barbie retro housewife" aesthetic with heels and my Dior perfumes I get such a strong reaction that I do wonder why.
"Women aren't so feminine nowadays," is the popular response. So when people do see a very feminine woman, it's first of all surprising because it's a rarity, and second of all it's always stunning to see a woman shining bright in her sacred feminine energy. She just has a certain glow that everyone flocks to, like a moth the the flame.
And this reminded me of a discussion I had with a friend some weeks ago - she mentioned how girls/women in 2024 dress in such a masculine way, with baggy pants and baggy shirts and sports shoes. And indeed, both in my city, my country and abroad while traveling, I found this to be true.
She saw it as a "them" issue. I think it's easy to say that girls these days have lost touch with their femininity, and essentially shift all the fault on them. But nothing is that black and white. I empathize with these girls because I was there too, before I stepped out of my shell and felt more comfortable and safe being feminine.
Yes, it's social media and fashion and whatever celebrities and influencers are turning into a trend at each given time. But it's also the undeniable fact that, most likely, these girls grew up in school, highschool, college etc. facing situations and environments (or maybe even their childhood upbringing/home setting) that made them feel unsafe, their every choice and habit and outfit was criticized, maybe they even got harassed or bullied.
Maybe they did dress in cute outfits and skirts at some point, and then got criticized for showing too much skin or dressing indecently, even though it was a perfectly normal outfit. And then getting criticized for dressing like men, but at least they feel safe(r) because either way people will judge them.
I think it's important to accord more grace and understanding, and instead of being judgemental, actually hold space for other girls and if possible, offering guidance in reconnecting with their femininity. It can be such a gift when you tap into your intuition, your healing energy, your empathy and nurturing energy. But not everybody knows how to get there, or has the resources for it, or even wants to. And that's okay too - everyone has their own choice.
do not be afraid to care deeply
I will always be afraid
then be afraid and do it anyway <3
obsessed with mass market paperbacks. their pleasing rectangular proportions. how they fit badly in a hoodie pocket so you can drag them around everywhere with you like a temporary little buddy. the way they fit in your hand because theyâre MADE for human hands and not as bookshelf decoration. the way the pages feel when you riffle them gently with your thumb. How pristine and crisp they look when you get them and how creased and folded they look when youâre done, even if you try to be nice to them. how that wear is okay, how thatâs correct actually, because theyâre made with the philosophy that books arenât meant to be PRETTY, theyâre meant to be read. that little ripple new ones get on the left side from where you hold them when youâre reading, the way the ripple only goes as far as youâve read, because u change stories by reading as they are changing you. how you can find thousands of these creased and folded and loved little dudes in every thrift store and used book shop and neighborhood library and you can instantly see the ones that someone carried around in a backpack for weeks or read to pieces or gave up on halfway through because they wear being read like fresh snow wears footprints. I love these poorly made, subpar little rectangles so much. truly the peopleâs books.

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Hi Neil!
I'm just gonna cut to the chase: when, if at all, can we expect "The Seven Sisters"?
I'm about a third of the way through it. I'm looking forward to finishing it when Good Omens is done.
oops! it seems i tripped and dropped several million free books, papers, and other resources
https://annas-archive.org
https://sci-hub.se
https://z-lib.is
https://libgen.is
https://libgen.rs
https://www.pdfdrive.com
https://library.memoryoftheworld.org
https://monoskop.org/Monoskop
https://libcom.org
https://libretexts.org
http://classics.mit.edu
https://librivox.org
https://standardebooks.org
https://www.gutenberg.org
https://core.ac.uk
we were meant to live slowly!!!! we were meant to savor moments and feel unabashedly lazy and frolic and smell the flowers and laugh with our entire hearts and love with our entire souls!!!!! donât ever feel guilty for resting!!!!!! donât ever feel guilty for slowing down!!!!!! enjoying life shouldnât be something youâre ashamed of
I am plagued by uncontrollable affection for my long distance best friend who lives so far away (texted me 2 mins ago)

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thinking about a lot of things, i couldn't sleep.
tried changing my username back to my original one, but they say it's already taken. i'll miss you, dikokabisado