Untitled

It's currently close to 4 AM now that I'm posting this, and I've been crying non-stop since midnight because my friends came back online one by one through an unstable connection and said: "Hi, I'm alive." I had prepared myself for the funeral of so many of my friends. Some haven't come back online yet, and we've formed small "search and rescue" groups to find their contacts or families to check if they're okay.

What remains a fact amidst all of this is that nobody in the world ever gave a single fuck about us. I was one of the lucky ones to connect during the complete shutdown via some newly invented way we were too scared to even publish on GitHub for fear of getting arrested. In the time I was connected, I felt immense guilt for having access to the internet, and I begged you all on my socials to be the voice of the people who were about to get executed.

Not even once did I see someone talk about the internet blackout in Iran, and it enrages me.

We've been massacred, mass executed, and then silenced by getting our only way of communicating with the world shut off and the world treats it as some background noise, some irrelevant news that isn't even worth spending time hearing about.

I've noticed that the Gachiakuta fandom (and janka fans more specifically) are reluctant to extend the same emotional depth to Jabber as they do with Zanka.

In fan work—fanart, fanfiction, theories, analyses—Zanka is often depicted with a wide range of emotions in regards to his relationships and his backstory; he's angry, he's upset, he's insecure, he's passionate, but when it comes to Jabber and his relationships, suddenly fans are incapable of going beyond appearances. What I mean by this is that fans are very quick to interpret Zanka's character as having a lot of emotional depth; everything he does can be read—and rightfully so—as a response to what has happened to him; his dependance to praise is easily explained by the harsh and unforgiving environment he's grown up in (his relationship with Enjin is thus not often treated as a joke, but as Zanka's first fulfilling relationship with an adult), likewise, his tendencies to overwork and push himself are also treated as more than just a quirky character trait; they are a trauma response to his deep seated insecurities, which were in turn caused by living in an environment where his worth was determined by his success. He is also depicted as having complex feelings about his relationship with Jabber (whether or not it be in a shipping context), whereas Jabber's actions are taken at face value, and his feelings towards Zanka never go further than obsession. It ends up feeling like their relationship is important to Zanka, but not—or not as—important to Jabber.

He is "funny masochist man who's obsessed with poisons and Zanka". Rarely do I ever see fans try and explain his masochism—or even simply acknowledge it as something genuinely harmful and not just a joke—by his childhood and, while I can understand that this could be because his backstory is not revealed, stuff like this has never stopped people from speculating. His relationships hold a lot less depth than Zanka's. I won't pretend that the raiders and the cleaners are comparable—the cleaners are a lot more tight-knitted and friendly than the raiders, who, at times, don't even care about each other's lives—but even in his relationship with Zanka, Jabber is never depicted as being insecure or clumsy about his feelings. He is only ever into pain and obsessed with Zanka. There is a very good analysis on TikTok that explores how Jabber has demonstrated his first act of mercy (that we know of) upon seeing Zanka in pain during their second fight, and how he actually seemed to think before using Mankira on him (and more, I recommend checking it out); points that should make it obvious that Jabber not only struggles to connect with others, but also feels conflicted about his feelings towards Zanka, yet this is almost never talked about or further analyzed.

When Zanka proclaims that he will defeat geniuses and, by extension, Jabber, fans immediately understand that this stems from his constant need to get better and prove his worth; they understand the underlying implications of his character. However, when Jabber proclaims that he wants to fight more strong people and get horribly beat up by them, suddenly there is no underlying meaning to be found. Jabber said he wants to fight strong people because he loves fighting; surely there is no other possible reason as to why Jabber is a masochist. I have seen some people shut down that Jabber is emotionally complex; they find it absurd that he could be anything else than a horny fight-crazed character, even in a manga that has proven to never have two dimensional characters.

It comes as a surprise to absolutely no one that this likely stems from racism, whether internalized or not. People refuse to regard black and brown characters on the same level as white and, in this case, east asian characters. They can't fathom that a black character could be more than his funny masochist facade, that a black character could have complex feelings, and they refuse to spend time and energy on engaging with his writing. Even while being one of the most popular characters in the manga, Jabber is still sidelined in favor of the white/white-passing cast.

1.) The prequel

Before Jax even started his self-destructive behavior, he was really off.

He summoned Caine to piss of Zooble and forgot the reason he did it to begin with.

He totally zoned out when Caine gave directions.

And when accused of some grand plan with Pomni...

...he had no idea what she was talking about.

I believe all of these above are examples of Jax's mask slipping. Jax let his guard down, and now we're starting to see that he's just some dopey guy that's barely reached adulthood.

Jax wants to look like a profound mastermind but he simply is not.

2.) He becomes self-aware

When Ragatha accuses him of getting close to Pomni to corrupt her, he loses it. Ragatha probably meant "I know that you're trying to get Pomni to partake in your antisocial and abusive bullying behavior," but Jax heard it as "You're choosing to get close to someone again to drag them to abstraction." This is where he becomes extra aware of his relationship with Pomni.

3.) He tries to play it cool but realizes he's getting Pomni hurt.

Jax really does try to keep opening up to Pomni. He revealed that his fear of corn is rooted in trypophobia, and when Pomni points out that she's getting to know him, he probably thinks back to what Ragatha said. I'm guessing his thoughts are along the lines of "Ragatha said I'm getting closer to Pomni to make her abstract like my past friends."

I'm going to come back to why it had to be Ragatha specifically to start his spiral.

With that on his mind, we get the shootout with Kinger in the dark room.

Although it was accidental, he hurt Pomni, and he apologized right away. He certainly felt bad.

They're both almost back to normal during the scene when they pursue Zooble to their room. After their duet, Jax gets the idea to break into Zooble's room with one of his many keys.

That caused Zooble to absolutely demolish them both and caused them to lose a life.

Zooble ran away and Pomni immediately went to pursue them.

Jax got afraid of Pomni taking on Zooble alone but he stayed behind to contemplate in the hallway.

He's super distressed over seeing Kaufmo's and Ribbit's doors. He just watched Pomni get hurt in this very hallway mere moments ago, so he connects it to the friends he failed to save. Jax made the connection that HE is the problem. His companionship is what causes people to get hurt, to abstract.

I believe this is the moment where Jax realizes he NEEDS to distance himself from Pomni.

And, in my opinion, that's why Jax reacted so strangely to Pomni's hug. He likes her and he enjoyed the hug but he's in too deep. He has to physically and metaphorically push her away.

I'm not entirely sure about his reaction here, but he keeps staring at the hand that pushed Pomni while Pomni has already moved on. He's touched her before, so what is it? Grief? Guilt? Regret? Love? You could make an argument for all of the above.

Either way, the last thing on Jax's mind is to hurt Pomni physically. He's wayyy too traumatized for that. Instead, he's hoping that Pomni will make it easy for him distance himself by shooting him. Physically, Jax would go to another room. Emotionally, Jax would have an excuse to push Pomni away. Instead, Pomni sussed him out and called him out on it.

Jax tried everything to get her to shoot him. He heckled her, claimed they weren't a team, and was an all around jerk to her uncharacteristically after what she thought was a wonderful day together. Again, he references Ragatha. I promise I'll get back to her.

Pomni picks up on exactly what Jax is doing. He wants to end their friendship. But why? That's why she tries to reason with him. She finally hit a nerve when she brought up abstraction.

He thinks she's blaming him for the abstraction of Ribbit, the friend that Pomni didn't even know. Once she sees his mask drop, she hones in on the abstraction conversation.

Jax claims that he'd move on and forget about her. For a moment, I actually think she believed him and considered turning the gun on herself before Jax backtracked and claimed it was a joke.

Pomni, being the incredibly emotionally mature and intelligent person she is, cracked the code. She knows that Jax is so afraid of her abstracting and that's why he won't hurt her physically. THAT is why Pomni fought him. She wanted to confirm her theory.

Jax pretty much admitted it himself. He tries HARD to mask again by going full villain and claiming that he's a some sort of sociopath that derives pleasure from the pain of others.

This is where I finally talk about Ragatha. Jax acts extremely mean to Ragatha. He's disproportionately cruel to her even though she's so kind. I think what Jax is doing here is exactly what he did to Ragatha, and she didn't pick up on the core of his insecurities like Pomni. Ragatha would never get physical like that. Ragatha DOES believe his villain persona is real.

To me, Ragatha admitting that she failed Jax is implying something deeper: she didn't always hate him; she once loved him. She probably still does in a way. And Jax? Ragatha knew Ribbit and Kaufmo. He's probably terrified of losing someone like Ragatha, so he pushed her away before she could abstract. To him, it's probably working since she's still around.

Back to Pomni- Jax finally fully cracks and shows that part of himself to Pomni.

Pomni did what nobody else would do and saw what nobody else could see. For whatever reason, Jax doesn't swear, but he did in front of Pomni. I think he was finally too tired to hide his real feelings, and honestly, I don't think he wanted to since he was aching over the very real pain he caused Pomni. Not to mention, he knew that Pomni saw through his behavior.

Jax's plea at the end was that of desperation. He knew he lost the battle but there's nothing more to say. He's begging Pomni to just pretend that his mask is the real and to not pursue him; to give up just like everyone else had.

But Pomni won't just give up on anyone like that. She watches him through the award show. She knows he's unwell because he's avoiding her and left mid show. Even better, she now has Ragatha by her side through it all.

Dazai doesn't want to be seen. He is, all the time, mirroring who he is talking to and picking them apart, but no one does that to him in return because he presents himself as what the other person wants him to be. That's why it's so hard to pin down what he is really thinking, that's why he becomes so dangerous. Chuuya, on the other hand, reads him immediately from their first meeting. He doesn't see Dazai as Demon Prodigy, he sees Dazai as the fifteen years old whiny brat he is. He stops Dazai when Dazai shoots a corpse too many times. He is not scared of Dazai because Chuuya doesn't need to. They are the same. And that small fact that Chuuya can actually see Dazai for Dazai changes everything.

Same for Chuuya, who also doesn't want to be seen but for different reasons. Instead of outwardly manipulating people like Dazai, Chuuya makes his presence small so people can accept him. He diminishes himself in the Sheep by becoming their shield and weapon so they can see him as more than a monster. Dazai describes this as "sheep amongst wolves." Despite Chuuya's attempts at staying soft and good, people still leave him. Later, we discover Chuuya is a literal god and Dazai still sees him as annoying boy that he wants to keep as a dog. He knows who Chuuya throughly is and doesn't want to use him. Which is rich, considering Dazai uses everyone.