Game of Melikins

“You can kill us, but we don’t stay dead.”

1. I think I spotted someplace new (or at least someplace we haven’t seen in awhile) in those opening credits. Didn’t catch the name tho.

2. Yeah, being Hodor-less is going to make transporting Bran a lot harder.

3. I think Bran is stuck on a “Previously on Game of Thrones” loop.

4. Sudden horse is sudden.

5. Literally killing it with fire.

6. Oh, hey, this is his uncle, right? His uncle who’s been lost north of the wall? What’s his name, Benjen?.

7. I’m fairly confident that Sam’s homecoming is not going to be a pleasant one. Though I’m intrigued about why we’re suddenly hanging out with these characters again.

8. Little sam is crazy adorable.

9. Gilly is more than a little overwhelmed.

10. It’s weird, Margaery almost seems to believe what she’s saying. I can’t tell if she’s just pulling some kind of long con or if she’s actually atoning for her sins or whatever.

11. Gilly does clean up quite well, I’ll give her that.

12. Sam the elder has quite the way with words.

13. Your support of Sam is appreciated, Gilly, but I think you might have just given up a bit too much information.

14. Watching Sam’s inability to stand up to his father is painful.

15. Gilly and Sam are like the sweetest, kindest characters on this show. I hope they manage to get a happily-ever-after at the end of all this.

16. And he hope gets to wield the sword his father told him he’d never have.

17. And then I hope he chops off his dad’s head with it.

18. Fuck you old man.

19. Oh, yeah, I guess that’s one way to get the sword. And Valyrian steel too!

20. Ah, look, it’s Masterpiece Theatre.

21. Arya is the only one laughing at Joffrey’s death in the show. Better not let anyone see.

22. Alright, now, can Arya pull this hit off without screwing it up?

23. Holy shit, was that … Richard E. Grant?! (Answer: Yes, it was, and apparently he was there last week too and I didn’t even notice)

24. Poisoning the drink is a dangerous way to kill someone. Can’t be certain that someone will be thirsty every time.

25. Don’t get too friendly with your target, there, Arya.

26. I wonder how many actors started as Assassins.

27. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s how you get fired from the assassin’s guild.

28. And when you get fired, you don’t just get fired. I think that goes without saying. And what I mean is, you’re pretty much gonna get murdered.

29. Nice to see Arya reunited with her sword tho.

30. Ah, are we going to get Margaery’s walk of shame tonight? I still anticipate that someone’s going to be trying to take her out while wiping out the sparrows.

31. I wonder how many hours it takes to get Jonathon Pryce properly grimed up to play the high sparrow.

32. Wow, he caved quicker than I thought he would.

33. And that would be why. Damn you, High Sparrow! Damn you to whatever hell you believe in!

34. And now Jamie gets fired because Tommen found religion.

35. It seems like there’s going to be a bit of a run on the blackfish in the next little while. Should be an interesting reunion for a few folks.

36. “They’ve made us both stronger,” Cersei says, but I’m not sure I agree. It feels like we might be seeing the end of this power couple. Her certainty about how the trial will play out makes me nervous, and God only knows what’ll happen to Jamie up north. He can’t lose any more hands.

37. And it’s Uncle Benjen.

38. Daenerys is questioning her path it seems.

39. And was it just me, or was that happening at a literal fork in the road?

40. It’s hard to tell which is the road not taken when you’re in the desert.

41. Ooooh, sounds like dragons.

42. Is this just really fortunate timing, or did she summon him somehow?

43. Oh, I guess she must’ve summoned him. Hahaha.

44. And by summoned, I mean, that was the sound she heard just a minute ago, that she rode off to check out, right?

45. Wait, what happened to her horse? The dragon ate it, right?

46. She’s a natural at this whole public speaking thing.

SPOILERS for Game of Thrones Episode 6.6, “Blood of My Blood.”

After last week’s ugly-cryfest over Hodor, it felt like this episode was just moving the pieces around and setting up the larger confrontations that we will presumably be having in the final four episodes. We didn’t even see Theon Greyjoy, Jon Snow, Sansa, Brienne or Tormund! Although I think we’re going to see an unexpected reunion of Jamie Lannister and Brienne, aren’t we? Poor Tormund, he’s not going to stand a chance once Brienne gets to see Jamie again. Anyway, here are some highlights from this week’s episode.

The High Sparrow Played Everybody. And it was sort of amazing. People are like “Margaery has been brainwashed!” No. She’s working an angle, trust me. She’s pretending to be brainwashed by the High Sparrow, and I believe she’s doing it to protect her brother. She basically talked King Tommen into joining the crown and the faith, so all of Cersei and Jamie’s machinations were for naught. King Tommen then sent Jamie to the Riverrun to take care of poor Walder Frey.

The Return of Walder Frey. I forgot how much I hate that guy. Well, Brynden “Blackfish” Tully (Catelyn Stark’s uncle) has taken over a large chunk of the Riverlands and Walder Frey is trying to kill the Blackfish and/or take back land. Walder Frey reminds everyone of the Red Wedding and who was actually married at the Red Wedding: Edmure Tully!! Apparently, Walder Frey has been keeping poor Edmure in chains ever since his wedding night. I feel like Tobias Menzies is in everything these days, right? Well, I’m glad to see him, even if he was wearing a sad wiglet of mistreatment.

Sam & Gilly. I know I’m supposed to be charmed by Sam and his love for Gilly, but I don’t know why we have to devote so much time to it? Ugh. Long story short, Sam’s dad is a total douche and he thinks Sam is totally soft. Gilly tried to defend Sam and ended up outing herself as a Wildling. Sam’s dad was like “we’ll educate baby Sam and Gilly can work in the kitchen.” Sam seemed okay with it at first but then he was like “NO!” and he decided to leave with Gilly and the baby in the middle of the night. And he stole his family’s Valyrian steel sword (foreshadowing!). Also, Sam’s mother & sister do seem like lovely people. Mercy’s Brows Are On Fleek. Arya = Mercy. The Girl tried to kill for Faceless Men, who are just assassins for hire. She was given her assignment last week: kill the actress, Lady Crane, playing Cersei in the same little play. The problem is that Lady Crane is the most talented person in the cast and that Arya figured out that the younger actress, the one playing Sansa, wanted Lady Crane dead. The other problem is that Lady Crane actually seems like a nice person, and she stopped to talk to Arya-as-Mercy, who Lady Crane thought was just a fan or an acting enthusiast, which is where Lady Crane complimented Mercy’s tight brow situation. Anyway, Arya had put the poison in Lady Crane’s rum but thought better of it in the end, smacking Lady Crane’s rum and telling her that the younger actress wanted her dead.

The Waif is Coming for The Girl. The Waif is that bitchy young woman who has a hate-on for Arya. When the Waif witnessed Arya NOT killing Lady Crane, the Waif went to Jaqen H’ghar who was like “Okay, you can kill the girl but make sure she doesn’t suffer.” But Arya knows. She gets it. She will never be The Girl. She will always be Arya Stark. And so she recovered her small sword, Needle, from the hiding place and she seems to be waiting for the Waif. I hope Arya kills the crap out of the Waif.

Hot Uncle Benjen Stark Is Still Alive. Thank God a Stark man is still around somehow, even if he’s half-zombie. Meera is still shuffling Bran through the snow and ice. Bran isn’t “awake” – he’s still having visions, including visions of the Mad King ordering someone to burn everything at King’s Landing. The Wights are still coming for Bran and Meera and when Meera gets stuck, she starts to cry and she finally wakes up Bran. The ice zombies are upon them, until a mysterious man on a horse appears and saves them. It turns out that Uncle Benjen (Ned’s brother and a missing Night’s Watch man) and he’s been living north of the wall for a while, learning from the Children of the Forest and the Three-Eyed Raven. The Raven basically told Benjen to come and save Meera and Bran. I guess Benjen also has dragonglass in his heart or something? Resurrections never cease.

Dany Rides Again. While I always enjoy the appearance of dragons (DROGON!), I don’t get how that part of the story was so amazing? We’ve seen her ride Drogon before. And while Drogon has gotten bigger (what has he been eating?!) and he looks strong and healthy, I guess I just don’t understand why we’re getting the Khaleesi’s Greatest Hits these days. A few episodes ago, we saw her come out of the flames (Season 1 greatest hits), and now we see her riding Drogon (Season 5 greatest hits). And while she was on Drogon, she kept talking about ships and conquering Westeros. Girl, just ride yo’ dragons to Westeros! No, I get it. She needs her peeps. But I’m sort of bored with Dany’s storyline this season.

Next week promises lots of Riverlands drama and more of a storyline for Sansa. I hope we get to see Arya kill the Waif too.

Photos courtesy of HBO/GOT.

Game of Thrones Inspired Portraits by Mike Wrobel

Artist Mike Wrobel has reimagined GoT characters as pop icons or dressed in 90s grunge fashion. Orginally from France, Mike is the founder of Tokyo based graphic design company, Moshi Studio (Moshi kun is the mascot for the studio).

More Moshi: Tumblr | Facebook | Twitter ● Buy prints, apparel, device cases & more at Mike’s Society6 Shop

Cross Connect is in the game on Facebook & Twitter

In Memoriam…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wait… his son is worse than he is… wait, no… uh oh…

Sorry Walda (and baby Bolton), but somebody else had to die so we could see how crazy Ramsay has truly gone

The victor of The War of Five Kings? In the game of thrones, you win AND you die.

THIS EPISODE. FUCK YES.

+ A warm welcome back Bran, Meera, Three-Eyed Raven, Children of the Forest, and Hodor… I mean Willis! You missed a lot in the past year. Also, young Ned, Benjen, and Lyanna! This felt like a huge tease for next week, but more on that later.

+ Edd, Wun Wun, and Tormund save the day! I was hoping they would kill Alliser and Olly but we can’t all get what we want, huh?

+ Cersei and Zombie Mountain make up with Tommen and Jaime threatens to kill the High Sparrow at his own daughter’s funeral. I think it was kind of stupid on Tommen’s part not to let Cersei go to her daughter’s funeral but whatever. I’m really hoping that Jaime/ High Sparrow conflict escalates later, and if trailers are anything to go by, it most likely will.

+ Put on your tinfoil people. TYRION RELEASED THE DRAGONS. AND TALKED TO THEM. AND THEY DIDN’T KILL HIM. Does this confirm the Tyrion Targaryen theories? Probably not, but it certainly added fuel to the flames. I love how he had a conversation with the dragons too. Poor 12-year-old Tyrion, crying himself to sleep because daddy said all the dragons were dead.

- The one part of this episode I have complaints about was the Arya scene. Once again, it felt a little bit shoehorned in. Don’t get me wrong I love Arya and I love seeing her but we could have just as easily had this scene last week and then moved on in the story this week.

+ RAMSAY GOES APE SHIT. He threatens to kill Jon (too bad that he didn’t realize Jon was dead at the time) then he STABS HIS DAD AS HIS MAESTER AND HIS KARSTARK GOON WATCH ON. The WORST? He takes Walda and her newborn baby and has his hounds TEAR THEM TO PIECES AS HE WATCHES ON. The new Lord Bolton just made Joffrey look like an elementary school bully, beating kids up for milk money! Ramsay is actually FUCKING NUTS and it will be SO SATISFYING when he dies.

+ The Sansa, Brienne, Theon, and Pod scene might have felt unnecessary to some of you, but I found it super interesting. It establishes why Brienne might go to the Riverlands later this year AND it threw a total curve ball in having Theon leave the party. I had assumed he’d go to The Wall with them, but now what? Perhaps he’ll go reclaim the Iron Islands? Who knows?

+ The Euron Greyjoy introduction scene was maybe my favorite character intro, right after Oberyn. Seriously, wow. Euron is a cold motherfucker. “I am the Drowned God” sent shivers down my spine. The way he just appears at the end of that bridge before killing Balon certainly made him seem like a more powerful being. The way he remorselessly just tossed Balon over the bridge was absolutely chilling. A perfect setup for a character who will undoubtedly become a fast fan-favorite. 

+ You know why you’re reading this post. You know why you came here. Hell, you know why you watched season 6 at all. The prospect of Jon Snow coming back was just too overpowering. So when Mel, Davos, and the rest left the room, defeated, I’m sure some of your stomachs felt like they had rocks dropped in them. I know mine did. But then what we had all been waiting for happened. JON SNOW IS BACK, BABY, AND THIS TIME LET’S HOPE HE’S BACK FOR GOOD!

All The Frightening White Walker GIFs From This Week’s ‘Game Of Thrones’

Stitch and Toothless jammy jam!