A Tentative Return
Melada sat down at her workbench after returning home from her first outing back to Silvermoon in months. She reached for one of her bloodthistle cigarettes and flicked her lighter, sparking a flame with which to light it. She took a long drag, drawing the smoke deep into her lungs. Her eyes closed behind her red lenses as she held the smoke for several moments before finally exhaling.
The engineer lifted her goggles up to her forehead and reached back to undo her ponytail, wrapping the pink scrunchie around her wrist after her ginger mane was freed. Another puff from her cigarette was taken as she reached out for a small, handheld device no larger than a cigarette tin. She pushed a button upon the device and began speaking into.
“So, I saw my friends today for the first time in months. Or I suppose that would be friend, singular, not friends. Lethel is.. something else, though she always has been. Truthfully, I’m not sure who’s more clueless, her or I. Does she honestly have no idea how I felt? Feel? No, felt, I think. Though I suppose the mistake is mine for ever feeling anything for a creature such as her in the first place.
I haven’t had the chance to speak with her alone yet but she seems different, too. I mean, she’s still herself, that hasn’t changed but it’s still not the same. Like, I suppose she’s always had someone above her in the shadows but knowing that she’s directly beneath someone, a captain of a ship, the same captain she’s been serving for over a year.. shit, has it really been that long? I’m getting off topic, though. What I’m trying to say is when I think of Lethel, I think of her calling the shots to advance her own goals, I think of that aura of cool control, the hours and hours of endless business meetings, and the constant micromanaging being put to use to service her own ends, not those of another.
Lolette, though. Lolette was very happy to see me. And I was happy to see her too. I didn’t know anyone in Silvermoon missed me so much. Perhaps if I had, I wouldn’t have stayed away for so long. I’d very much like to hold onto her tightly and not let go, though I worry that I’ll push her away if I get too clingy and rely on her too much, despite her insisting that I’m a big part of her life. The funny thing is I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she felt the same way. Silly, isn’t it? The thought of two people wanting the same thing from each other but both being too scared by the other’s imagined reaction.”
The engineer let out a heavy sigh before putting out her bloodthistle cigarette in a nearby ashtray.
“I need to shut this damn thing off before I get lost in my own damn head again.”
The device was turned off and put away.
@lolettezeddicus @fanofknives













