One Chicago Junkie

That day there were three hospitalizations in the ICU due to a terrible accident that happened in the afternoon. Three patients, all of them brain dead. The ward was short-staffed and it was just you and another nurse, Amanda, on that shift so dealing with these three new patients, along with the other ones, was really exhausting.

After closing your locker, you removed the necklace where you hung the ring and slipped it onto the ring finger of your left hand, which you did at the end of each shift. You didn't want to risk losing it during work, you’d never forgive yourself for it so you just carried it around your neck during the shifts. You looked at it for a moment with a smile on your lips thinking back to the day Jay asked you to marry him.

You took your cell phone from the pocket of your uniform and, as you walked towards the exit, bag on your shoulders, you noticed various texts from Jay, the last one dating back to a couple of minutes prior.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:17 pm

Baby we're still dealing with a difficult case, I think I'll be late tonight. Please let me know when you get home. I love you endlessly. Be careful.

From Fiancée 💍, 7:55 pm

Baby? Are you okay?

From Fiancée 💍, 8.21 pm

Should I send a patrol to the hospital? You know I'll do it love.

You chuckled not doubting about that, you knew he would. Jay had always been very protective of you, which you wouldn't admit but loved it madly. You loved he cared about you, so much he’d leave everything and everyone to come to you if you asked him to.

From you, 8.27 pm

I'm sorry love, it's been a hard shift and I just picked up my cell phone. I'm going home now. How are you? When will you finish? You’ll come home soon, right?

You left the hospital and started walking home. It was late spring and the temperatures were finally starting to warm up a bit, allowing you to finally breathe fresh air. You really needed it after a whole day of smelling the hospital and disinfectants.

Your cell phone started ringing following a call.

“Hi baby! You really miss me that much, don’t you?” You begin, bringing your cell phone to your ear, a smile on your lips.

“I always miss you, you know that,” your fiancée answered on the other end of the phone. “Are you walking home?”.

“Yes, it's a beautiful evening and I felt like walking.”

Jay sighed. “Baby you know I don't like the idea of you walking alone in the dark, you could’ve taken a taxi or waited for me to pick you up.”

“Oh come on Jay, what’s gonna happen. I'll be home in twenty minutes,” you retorted “Where are you?”.

“I'm still in the district baby, I have to finish writing a case report and then I'm finally leaving,” you heard some noise in the background but you couldn't figure out what he was doing.

Jay continued to keep you company on the phone, refusing to leave you completely alone even though you'd insisted that he finish work so he'd get back to you soon.

You asked him about his day and he started telling you what he had done as you listened to him carefully, asking him a few questions from time to time when you didn't quite understand something. You bumped into a person and quickly mumbled an apology before walking on, quickly glancing at the man who reassured you not to worry.

“Everything okay baby?” Jay asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I got distracted and bumped into a guy, no big deal. What were you saying?”.

Suddenly an unease feeling went through your body. You tried to let it go, thinking it was just a figment of your imagination.

You clasped your hand around your purse, quickly picking up your pace when you began to hear footsteps behind you.

They were so loud you seemed to hear them only a few feet away from you.

You turned around and stopped in your tracks, looking around for a few seconds before letting out a sigh of relief.

There was no one walking behind you.

Your heart was pounding and anxiety was eating up your stomach and you forgot for a moment you were on the phone with Jay.

Stay calm, you're just tired.

“Baby? You still there?” Jay's voice brought you back to reality. “Oh yeah, sorry, I couldn’t hear you anymore.” You answered. You didn't want to make him worry about your simple and stupid feeling, you knew if you told him you had the impression someone was following you he would’ve rushed to you and acted like the world was about to end.

You were sure it was just the fatigue speaking, but your senses remained alert until you got to your apartment. You took a shower while you waited for Jay to come back home, ordering food since you knew neither of you would feel like cooking.

You were about to lower the blinds in your bedroom window when, glancing outside, you noticed a figure standing on the sidewalk in front of you.

It was too dark for you to make out who it was and for a few moments you stood paralyzed, your eyes fixed on that dark figure, trying to figure out if it was just a hallucination.

The noise of the front door opening and closing made you jump in place, nearly giving you a heart attack.

You took your eyes off that figure for just a second.

Just for a moment.

And it was no longer there.

You ran your hands over your face in frustration, letting out a deep sigh at the same time before walking over to Jay, deciding you were going to ignore it and just needed a good night's sleep.

-

The following days went on quietly and the strange episode that happened a few nights before passed into oblivion. But that was before something else weird made your skin crawl.

“Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to work babe?” Jay asked you as he planted numerous kisses on your lips, making you smile between them. It was morning and you were both in the doorway, your arms around his chest as you both struggled to pull away.

“I'm positive baby, just think about resting okay? I’ll see you tonight.”

He cupped his hands over your face, giving you one last long, sweet kiss on your lips. “I'll have dinner ready for you. You be careful. I love you so much.”

“I love you more.“

The day went on peacefully. You had to work a double shift in the hospital as the nurse on the afternoon shift was sick and had to take over her place.

You loved your job, you really did. There was nothing else you would’ve done in your life but sometimes you couldn't deny how difficult and tiring it was.

“Y/N, sweetie!” You heard the voice of your colleague, Becca, calling you from a patient’s room you'd just passed. You sighed, recognizing the tone she used when she needed something.

You took a few steps back, looking into the room and noticing Becca intent on changing the unconscious patient's dressing.

“Becca I was about to leave, why do you still want to torture me?” You whined and she rolled her eyes. “Please help me change these dressings. Pretty please, I can't wait to leave too.”

She put on the sweetest puppy face she was capable of and for the second time you sighed and rolled your eyes. You ended up disinfecting your hands, putting on a pair of gloves and helping her to change the patient’s dressings.

By the time you finished you were dead tired and couldn't wait to get back to Jay and sleep, you probably would’ve just run away if anyone else had asked you any other favor. For this reason, you practically flew out of the hospital after saying goodbye to your colleagues.

It was particularly cold that evening and you found yourself rubbing your hands on your arms in an attempt to get some warmth. Thank God you took the car that day.

You walked over to your car and grabbed the keys from your bag. Before unlocking it, you noticed an object resting on the windshield, held on it by the wiper. You furrowed your eyebrows when you realized it was a rose.

A black rose.

What the fuck?

There was no card attached to it, just the rose.

Your heartbeat began to accelerate and anxiety took over you. You tried to keep calm and not freak out since there was definitely an explanation why someone had to put a damn black rose on your car.

Maybe they were wrong, maybe it was for another person and they got mixed up with the cars.

Who the hell gives a black rose though?

Your eyes scanned the parking lot around you but you didn't notice anyone suspicious or anyone nearby watching you, before dropping the rose on the asphalt, trying not to think about it. There was definitely a mistake.

The car ride was strange.

You couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. You kept looking in the rear view mirror to notice if there were any cars following you, you were probably just getting paranoid but you couldn't keep yourself calm.

When you parked in your usual spot once you got back home, that feeling of discomfort hadn't disappeared, on the contrary, it had increased.

The streetlights hadn't been turned on yet and it was dark enough outside so distinguishing objects or people was pretty hard.

After locking the car you were about to enter the apartment building when your gaze fell on the sidewalk in front of you.

You didn't know if it was just your imagination, but you swore there was someone standing, exactly in front of you and, despite the darkness, you were sure they were watching you.

You couldn't figure out who that person was, only that he was a man.

Your breath caught in your chest as you realized it was the same figure you'd spotted a few days earlier from your bedroom window.

The silence was almost deafening, making everything more frightening and suggestive.

Your muscles were paralyzed as your eyes seemed to be glued to that man.

Suddenly he moved and your heart almost stopped beating.

But when you saw him go away, that was the last thing you expected.

He did nothing, just walked away.

You tried to explain what was happening in your mind. Maybe it was just a coincidence, that man was there for another reason and you had nothing to do with it.

You let out a sigh you didn't realize you were holding and quickly entered the apartment building, rushing to your home where you found Jay on the couch watching a show.

That rose left you with a feeling of anxiety that you couldn't get rid of easily, also caused by that figure you saw standing in front of you. You didn't immediately tell Jay, you didn't want to worry him since you already knew how he’d react and he’d worry to death and go crazy about it.

You just wanted to be sure that something’s happening before alarming him.

But, knowing you like the back of his hand, he immediately sensed there was something strange, that something was bothering you. You tried to convince him otherwise, that you were just awfully tired after working a double shift at the hospital.

“Baby, really, I'm fine. I'm just dead tired,” you said for the hundredth time since you'd set foot inside the house.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me. Did someone upset you? Did something happen at work?” He kept going, thumb and forefinger under your chin to keep your head up and make you look into his eyes. Your hands slid under his shirt, caressing his chest as you placed your lips on his, trying to distract him.

“No baby, nobody did anything. Seriously, nothing happened,” you muttered against his lips, “I just missed my fiancé like hell.” You bit his bottom lip and he hissed, his breathing suddenly heavy. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”.

“Fuck yeah,” Jay had said before crashing his mouth on yours and kissing your breath away. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth as his lips moved masterfully with yours. His hands went down your body and he bent slightly before reaching your thighs, pressing his fingers against your skin and urging you to jump into his arms.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck meanwhile he carried you to the bathroom, never letting go of you. As he kicked the door open, you found yourself completely lost in him, the rest of the world vanishing and all negative thoughts forgotten.

However this sensation of bliss was destined to vanish.

In the following days the feeling that was tormenting you didn’t disappear, instead it only got worse.

You started to sense someone was constantly following you and watching you, that every time you walked in the middle of the street there was someone behind you even if every time you turned around there was no one.

After finding that rose on your car, this kept happening and almost every night for two weeks a rose would appear on your windshield.

Jay knew something was wrong, you weren't acting normally anymore.

You were always jumpy, any sudden noise made you almost have a heart attack, even if you were cooking and he suddenly hugged you from behind you’d be scared to death.

Needless to say Jay asked you a million times what was going on, what was it that was bothering you so much but you didn't want to bother him. You didn't want to upset him, make him worry about some stupid feeling of yours, not when his work was already haunting him enough.

Maybe deep down you were hoping whoever was leaving you those roses would stop and eventually leave you alone.

One evening you went out with your friends, on one of your rare days off, to try to keep your mind occupied and to catch up with them since you didn't always have the opportunity because of your hectic job.

Between laughter, jokes, chatting and various cocktails, the evening went on normally and by 1:00 am each one of you went back home. You headed towards your car, parked not far from the bar where you had all met together, calm and happy for the first time in weeks.

However, this feeling of calmness faded the instant your gaze fell on a damn black rose sitting on your windshield, again.

A wave of anger took over you.

You were tired, so damn tired of this little game that whoever it was was playing against you.

Who the hell was this person? What the fuck did they want from you? Why were they targeting you?

Whoever that person was they following you, they knew what you were doing, who you were with, and it scared the shit out of you as well as infuriating you.

You tore all the petals off that rose that would haunt you forever before throwing it angrily on the asphalt and getting into the car. You started it and quickly drove away from there, intending to go home immediately.

You wanted Jay, you wanted your fiancée. You wanted to hug him, feeling safe again in his arms and forget about all that shit that was going on.

As soon as you got home, however, your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay laying on the sofa, asleep. The TV was on and he had his cell phone resting on his stomach, holding it close in case you called him. A smile was born on your lips and for an instant all negative thoughts flew away as your attention focused on the sleeping figure on the couch.

You leaned towards him, leaving a sweet little kiss on his forehead, also gently stroking his hair with your left hand. He stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes at the same instant, looking around before looking at you, a sigh of relief to see you were back home safe and sound.

“I’m sorry I woke you up baby,” you whispered, kissing his forehead again “Let's go to bed so you can sleep again.”

He mumbled something you couldn’t catch and rubbed his eyes before flashing a smile that nearly made your knees buckle. He nodded and then stood up, stretching his arms before pulling you into a hug. “How are you my love? Did you have fun?”.

The memory of that rose returned to your mind but for some reason, seeing his eyes so red and tired, you decided not to worry him about it and you’d talk to him about it the following morning.

“Mmh,” you muttered nodding your head “I really had fun, we needed this girls night out even though I missed you a lot.”

He chuckled, placing his hands on your face and giving you a kiss on the lips. “I’m glad darling, you deserved it since you’re working so hard lately. And I missed you so much more,” he kissed you again “Come on, let's go to sleep now.”

But that night you couldn't sleep given the thousands of thoughts that were going through your head. You couldn't help but think who would do something like that, what the hell those roses meant. Was there anyone who had it in for you? Did you do something to someone? Maybe an angry patient?

You thought again and again about who could be doing this but none occurred to you. Jay told you about his cases so many times you knew that whoever did this was doing it to torture you, to keep you on your toes, to make you live in fear.

And the fact they were succeeding was infuriating you.

Fear turned into pure terror when, while checking your cell phone, you noticed a text from an unknown number.

So pretty. Can’t wait to meet you.

How did they get your number?

You were so immersed in your thoughts you didn't notice it was morning and that Jay had woken up in the meantime. He literally jumped out of bed when you told him the time after he asked you, realizing he was late. You had the afternoon shift so you didn't have to worry about getting ready for quite a while longer.

“Baby can I talk to you about something?” You had asked him, not being able to hold it in anymore even though you knew you picked up the worst time to do it.

How smart were you for wanting to talk to him about something so delicate as he was hurring to get dressed and going to work? Not much.

“Can you tell me about it later? I'm so sorry, but I'm super late…” he replied frantically as he ran from one part of the room to another looking for the keys. He stopped for a moment in front of you, placing his hands on your face, analyzing your features. “Is it something important though? If…”

You shook his head, placing your hands on his chest and giving him a reassuring smile even if anxiety was making you nauseous. “No, it's not urgent baby. I'll tell you tonight. Now go.”

He smiled at you and made sure to leave you a long, sweet kiss on your lips before saying goodbye and literally flying out of the front door.

It could wait, right?

You tried to keep yourself busy all morning, cleaning every corner of your apartment and keeping your mind from the negative thoughts.

You couldn't deny the slightest noise made you jump, even when you accidentally dropped something on the floor. You hated this feeling, you hated having to be afraid in your own home, you hated whoever was doing this to you, you hated them so fucking much.

You nearly jumped for joy when you realized it was time to get ready for work, the thought that for few hours you'd be safe made you especially happy to go to the hospital.

You took a shower before quickly putting on your uniform and packing your bag. You checked that everything you needed was there, house and car keys and hospital locker keys, a bottle of water, tissues, tampons, some snacks, pepper spray and a small knife. Jay had forced you to carry them around constantly, asserting you could never be too safe and he’d be comfortable with the thought you had something to protect you in case of need, and never as then as then you were grateful to him.

Once you left the apartment, you made sure you locked the door at least three times. The anxiety that had been living with you for weeks was now gripping your stomach, forcing you to constantly look around and keeping you alert to any individual passing by you.

You forcefully clutched your purse to you, walking briskly to your car and unlocking before climbing in and locking yourself inside. You let out a breath you didn't realize you were even holding as your eyes continued to scan the perimeter for any type of threat.

Did you already mention how much you hated this?

“It's okay Y/N, it's okay, just take it easy,” you whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath before putting on your seat belt and starting the car.

As you drove to the hospital you couldn't help but constantly look at the rear view mirror, almost as if you expected someone to be following you but they weren't, there was no car that you repeatedly noticed behind you.

Your cell phone started ringing and you took it from inside your bag, not taking your eyes off the road. Without even looking who it was, imagining for a moment it was Jay, you answered.

“Hello?”.

The smile on your lips instantly disappeared when instead of a voice you started to hear a heavy sigh, almost a pant.

“Hello?”.

You took the phone away from your ear and glanced at the screen, noting that it wasn't Jay, or anyone else you knew, but an unknown ID.

“Who is this?” You continued, hoping whoever it was would answer and maybe you'd recognize the voice. The person on the other end of the phone just kept sighing heavily, making your heart beat so hard you thought you were about to have a heart attack at any moment.

“What the fuck do you want from me?! Leave me alone!” You screamed, in the grip of fear, anxiety and anger that this person was forcing you to suffer. You closed the call and threw the cell phone on the passenger seat, not caring if it had bumped into something or was broken.

Your vision began to blur with tears fearing for your safety. They had your number. They knew where you lived. What kept them from taking you and killing you?

Your hands were shaking on the wheel as you parked at the hospital, palms sweaty. Your heart was still pounding and there wasn't a muscle in your body that didn't shake like your hands.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself, not wanting to cause questions from colleagues about the reason of your emotional state.

You took a few deep breaths and wiped your tears away, constantly telling yourself that everything was fine, that you'd be fine, that no one could hurt you in the hospital.

You never felt the need to have Jay with you like then. God you were stupid, so fucking stupid for not telling him about all of this before, for keeping everything inside you and hoping it’d eventually just go away, for underestimating what was happening. You were being stalked.

You texted him, telling him you'd arrived at the hospital and asking how his day was going, determined to tell him about the person who was stalking you as soon as you got off work.

You never thought you'd say it but you were never as glad you had a hard shift as you were that afternoon. Four patients arrived, one after suffering a stroke, two from a car accident and another after falling from the roof of his house.

The entire shift consisted of you and your colleagues running back and forth across the ward, treating patients, resuscitating them after one of them went into cardiac arrest twice. Your mind was focused on nothing but your patients and in treating them, everything else was left out of the hospital. You wouldn't let whoever was stalking you ruin your job, ever.

At the end of the shift there was no need to say you were dead tired and couldn't wait to go to sleep and although it was only 8:00 pm, the lack of sleep of the night before starting to take a toll on you.

As you placed your stethoscope in the locker and grabbed your bag, you removed your engagement ring from the chain around your neck and putted it on your finger. Your cell phone rang following a text notification and your heart skipped a beat for an instant.

The anxiety, which you managed to not to think about during the afternoon, returned stronger than ever to grip your stomach and for a moment you considered to throw the phone away.

But you thought it’d Jay and when you realized that it was indeed him, you breathed a sigh of relief. He said he'd be late that night because of a particularly difficult case and to let him know when you'd be done and went back home.

You tried to hide your sorrow, not wanting to be alone, especially in that situation.

You quickly typed a text back, asking him what he’d like for dinner, and put your cell phone in your bag. You said goodbye to your colleagues and walked towards the hospital exit.

You took a deep breath, praying to God to go home safe and sound.

Although spring had arrived it was particularly cold that evening due to the wind blowing and you cursed yourself for not bringing a jacket with you.

You walked, actually, almost ran to your car.

Anxiety was eating you alive and your heart was pounding, fear flowing like a river through your veins.

After taking the keys from your bag and unlocked the car, you quickly looked around, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you saw no one was around you.

But suddenly the keys fell out of your hands as a slimy hand placed over your mouth and an arm around your hips.

Your bag fell to the ground as you began to squirm in an attempt to free yourself from whoever grabbed you.

Adrenaline coursed through your veins as the fear of dying made you fight like never before.

You screamed, your throat burning, even though because of the hand your scream came out muffled.

“Stop fighting it, it had to happen sooner or later, you knew it was going to happen sweetie,” A man's voice came hoarsely to your ears and you suppressed a gag.

You managed to hit his side with your elbow, hard enough to loosen his grip on you and you tried to push him away with all the strength you had in your body.

“You fucking whore!”.

You threw yourself to get the car keys on the asphalt but the man was faster than you and grabbed your arm, pressing his fingers into your skin with such force you were sure they’d leave a mark.

A searing, stinging pain radiated up your face as his fist hit you full-on, knocking you to the ground. You put your hands forward to try to cushion the fall, but it caused you scratches and minor lacerations on both your forearms.

“We're meant to be. I know you want it. I saw it.”

You glanced at him and almost fainted when after few seconds your recognized him.

You had already met him. He was the guy you bumped into two weeks ago.

What the fuck?!

He tried to grab your wrists but before forcing you to get up, you managed to kick him in his genital area, using all the strength you had in your body. A sound of pure pain escaped his mouth and he backed away, leaning forward and gripping the sore area with his hands.

You took advantage of that moment of weakness to get off the asphalt. You weren't going to let him hurt you, not anymore.

You grabbed his black hair in two fists and you didn't care about the damage you would’ve caused him, you didn't care you were a nurse, that you were supposed to be the one to treat people and not hurt them, but you kneed him in his face and the horrible noise his bones made, suggested you most likely broke his nose.

You pushed him to the ground, ignoring the way he grunted in pain and the blood pouring profusely from his nose, kicking him in the stomach with such force that even you were stunned.

You never fought in your entire life, never kicked anyone or punched someone, you hated the idea of hurting people but at that very moment your life was on the line and you had to protect yourself.

The man was laying on the asphalt grunting and muttering some curse word and you took advantage of it. You had to run away, that was your only chance.

You quickly grabbed your car keys and purse off the ground before opening the door and getting in. You locked yourself in before you started fumbling to get the vehicle going.

Your hands were shaking and your vision was still blurry from the punch he had thrown at you.

You gave him a quick look, terrified he’d get up and kill you on the spot.

You didn't know how but you managed to start the car and without even looking back you drove away from that parking lot. You knew you couldn't drive in those conditions but you just wanted to get away from that monster.

You didn't know where to go, you didn't want to go home, the terror of being attacked there would’ve killed you so you went to the place where there was the only person you wanted to see, the only one who could make you feel better, safe.

The journey to the district was awful.

Your body was driving but it was as if you were experiencing everything from the outside, as if your soul had left your body and was looking at you from afar.

You didn't know how you managed to drive and not run over anyone or crash yourself.

Your breathing was still quickening, your chest rose and fell as if you'd run a marathon, your trembling hands struggling to hold onto the steering wheel. Your vision was blurred due to copious tears flowing from your eyes and streaming down your face, not even realizing you were crying desperately.

Your face was in pain and you were sure a huge bruise would appear on your cheek, although you didn't care, grateful you were still alive, that you managed to escape.

When you arrived at the district, you didn’t care about parking your car properly, or to take your bag or lock it after getting off. You just wanted Jay.

A smile appeared on Sergeant Platt's face the moment she saw you walking up the stairs, but when she noticed the way you were running, it immediately disappeared.

“Oh my God Y/N!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw you up close. Your face was streaked with tears, an expression of pure terror and fear contouring your features, your uniform stained with dust. She ran towards you, placing her hands on your arms. “What happened to you?” She took a look at your body looking for any other injury. “Oh dear. It's okay, whatever happened you're safe here.”

You kept breathing hard and your eyes were so full of tears you could barely see her.

“Shh it's okay. Come on, let's go sit down.”

She put her arm around your shoulders as she took your hand with her free one as a sign of support. She led you into one of the break rooms, making you sit on the couch and sitting next to you.

Her hand kept squeezing yours meanwhile the other stroked your back, trying to calm you down.

“Do you want some water?” She asked and you nodded, not being able to speak at the moment. Trudy got up and ran to get a bottle of water.

She handed it to you after opening the cap and it broke her heart to see the way you were shaking. “T-thanks,” you stammered, your chest shaking with sobs. “J-Jay.”

“I'm going to call him right away, don't move from here,” she said, seeing the way you needed him. She got up and ran upstairs, where Intelligence was still busy working on the case.

Everyone turned to the sergeant, who was at the top of the stairs with an expression that did not bode well. “Trudy, did something happen?” Voight asked as soon as he saw her but her gaze fell on Jay, who was standing by the whiteboard, arms folded across his chest.

“Jay… It's Y/N…” She spoke, saying nothing else. “She's downstairs now…”

Jay's eyes widened at the sergeant's words, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of worry and fear. He knew something was up, by the way Platt looked at him and a wave of anxiety hit him, his mind now focused only on you.

Without even letting her finish the sentence, he quickly moved away from the others, running down the stairs, almost tripping on his feet. Trudy followed him, giving no explanation to the rest of the team who just exchanged a worried look.

“Where's she?” he asked hurriedly and Trudy pointed him to the room you were in.

He burst into the room and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw you sitting on the sofa but immediately worrying when he saw the state you were in. Trudy closed the door behind him, leaving you two alone and not giving any other cops a chance to snoop.

You had your elbows resting on your knees, your hands on your face as your leg bounced up and down almost obsessively.

“Baby!”.

His voice made you snap your head to him and before you knew it, you were rushing into his arms, squeezing yours around his torso with so much force you were almost afraid he’d disappear.

Jay was surprised for a moment but immediately returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you like he never did. He had no idea what had happened, but whatever it was he knew it was serious and that was enough to make his heart race.

“I'm here baby, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your head, stroking your hair. You cried in his arms, with relief because he was finally there with you.

His heart sank as he heard you cry like that, feeling helpless like never before. You kept shaking and, without even knowing anything, Jay promised himself whoever had done this to you was a dead person.

“Baby you're making me worry to death. Please talk to me,” his voice coming out desperately. You broke away from his embrace, but still remained very close to him. “Darling, look at me. What happened?”.

His hands rested on your face and inevitably on the bruised cheek. You winched in pain and this didn't escape Jay, who was on the verge of losing his mind by then. “Y/N. Look at me,” he urged and you did as he said, lifting your head and making eye contact with him.

His breath caught in his chest as his gaze fell on the clear purple bruise on your cheek.

“What the fuck? Y/N…” he stammered, an incredulous and horrified look on his face as he looked at you. He took his hand away from your wounded cheek, placing two fingers under your chin and turning your head to inspect it better. “Shit baby… What happened? Who did this to you?”.

His heart was pounding in his chest and as his eyes looked at every single inch of that bruise that lined your cheek, every single cell in his body lit up with rage. Seeing the desperation on your face, the look of pure terror with which you were looking at him, the way your eyes were so full of tears, Jay felt as if he had stabbed and someone had twisted the knife over and over again.

“I-I… H-he…” you stammered meaninglessly, sobbing between words clearly still unable to speak.

“Oh baby come here,” he hugged you again, this time even harder than he had before. “My beautiful princess. It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now do you hear me? You're safe.” He tried to comfort you “I'm here now, I'm here. You’re not alone anymore and I will never let anyone hurt you again. You’re safe with me my love.”

“I-I was…” another sob “So… S-so scared…” you cried into his shirt, wetting it with your tears.

“I know, my baby, I know,” he whispered, placing lots of little kisses on your head. “I'm so sorry. It wasn't supposed to happen, not to you. But you're safe now, I'm here with you, you’re safe with me.” He kept repeating to you.

You both sat on the couch and he continued to hug you indefinitely, holding you and cradling you in his arms until you calmed down. “Sorry,” you muttered, your voice weak as you pulled away from his embrace, gesturing at his tear-stained t-shirt.

“Don’t even say it,” he replied. He raised his hand and stroked your hair, tucking it behind your ears as you kept your gaze on your hands. He was about to continue speaking when his eyes fell on the bruises on your arm, visible outside of your uniform.

His fingers lifted the sleeve to take a better look of the bruises on your skin. He immediately understood they were finger markers, a sign that someone had violently grabbed your arm.

“Oh darling,” he whispered, shattered at the sight of those horrible marks on your beautiful skin “What have they done to you?” His fingers caressed you gently, being careful not to hurt you further.

He was furious, like he had been a few other times in his life, and he still hadn't heard the story.

“Tell me what happened, please.”

You sighed and with still trembling voice, started talking. You told him about everything, about the roses, about the feeling of being followed, about the text, about the call and about the man who attacked you, the fact you already saw him for few seconds weeks prior, how he hit you and how you defended yourself.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me about it sooner?!” Jay snapped, when you finished speaking “This was never going to happen dammit! I would’ve killed that fucking son of a bitch.”

He leapt to his feet, running his hands over his face and pacing around the room. He didn't want to pick on you, it wasn't your fault and he knew it, but he was so damn angry, so angry you had to go through this, that he wasn't there to protect you.

His eyes landed on you noticing how yours quickly filled with tears again at his words and the tone of voice he used. “No, no, no baby, don't cry,” he rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to blame you. It's not your fault, please don't cry.”

His hands rested on your knees as you looked at him with sad, broken eyes, making his heart break over and over again. “You’re right I should have told you about it…”

“No, baby, don't get this into your head okay? It's not your fault, I’m so sorry for snapping like that I’m just so fucking furious for what that piece of shit did to you. It’s his fault, he hurt you and make you go through all of this. I hate you had to go through this alone and I wasn’t there to help you,” He sighed “I knew something wasn't right, I should have…” Jay stopped his eyes suddenly widening as you looked at him confused.

“Oh my god, that's… That's what you wanted to tell me this morning, isn't it?”. You didn't answer, effectively giving him the answer he needed.

Jay scrambled to his feet again, as if he'd just been given an electric shock. “Fuck!” He tried to keep control but you jumped as he kicked a chair in anger before placing his hands on the table and bowing his head, his back towards you.

“Jay…” you mumbled, standing up and walking towards him. You placed a hand on his back even though he didn't move from that position.

“It's my fault, this…” he choked on his own words “If I had stopped and listened to you this morning… Shit… It shouldn't have happened… I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, hey, no baby,” you interrupted him “Don't be hypocritical and tell me to not blame me and then do the same.”

He turned his head to you and it broke your heart to see his eyes full of tears. “I was late Y/N… I… This happened to you because I didn't stop for five fucking minutes to listen to you!”.

“Jay, listen to me,” you spoke to him softly. You lightly pulled his arm, causing him to straighten his back. You cupped your hands over his face, stroking his cheeks. “It's that crazy bastard's fault okay? Not yours, not mine.”

“If something happened to you… God…”

“No. Let's not do this. No ifs and buts. I'm here and I'm fine, I was scared shitless, I'm still scared shitless, but I'll be fine. You’re here with me and you’re all I need baby. These are just bruises and they'll be gone in a couple days,” you croaked “You should’ve seen how he looked then.”

He sighed before letting out a chuckle though the tears, hugging you for the third time, his hand stroking your hair. “We'll get him okay? And I'll fucking make him pay for what he did to you.”

You and Jay went upstairs, not wanting to let you disappear from his sight for even a second, after reassuring Trudy and telling her what had happened. Needless to say, she threatened to kill the bastard herself if Jay didn't. The way he answered told you that there was no need and that he’d certainly sort it out.

“I'll get you some ice for the bruise,” Kim had offered. The rest of the team didn't take it quite well either and Voight promised you they’d catch the bastard who hurt you. You and Jay had been together for a long time and you were part of the group now, an attack on one of them was an attack on all of them.

“Thank you,” you thanked her with a warm smile, placing the bag of ice on your face. The cold sent a rush of shivers up your spine.

“Come on baby, let's go in the break room,” Jay had said, his hand resting on your lower back. However, your gaze fell on the white board on which various photos and sentences were hung.

At first you didn't notice, but when your eyes saw a particular photo, you did a double take, stopping in your tracks and lowering the hand that was holding the ice.

“Baby? Are you okay?” Jay immediately asked alarmed, then following the direction of your gaze. “Oh. That's the case we're investigating.”

The photo just on the blackboard wasn't clear enough, it was a frame taken from a surveillance video but you could distinguish the features of the man it portrayed.

You stopped breathing for a second and your mind retraced in those brief moments your aggression, still fresh and imprinted in your memory.

“Y/N?” Jay pressed, worried about your reaction as his hand caressed your back.

“It-it… Jay…” you breathed out “It's him…”

“What?!” Jay's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and everyone in the unit couldn't mask their surprise.

“It was him… H-he attacked me… Oh god…”

Your hands start shaking again and you thanked that Jay was there to hold you or you would’ve probably collapsed on the floor.

Your eyes moved from that frame to the other hanging photos. There were four photos depicting four different women, more or less your age and similar in appearance to yours. Alongside these were other photos portraying instead what were unmistakably the victims’ bodies.

You were in complete shock.

What were the odds that the man stalking you was the same Jay was investigating on?

“C’mon let’s go,” Jay put his arm around your shoulders, leading you to the break room and closing the door behind him.

You weren't even crying. You were just completely shocked.

“Jay… He…” you stammered as if you were having trouble coordinating your thoughts. He put both of his hands on your shoulders.

“Baby, just breathe okay? Do it with me, take a deep breath.”

You shook yourself out of his grip, now in a panic. How could you calm down?

“He was… He would’ve killed me Jay, like… Like those women… Holy shit…” you continued to babble. You couldn't believe it. You understood that bastard was to be locked up somewhere, but you never, ever imagined he was a serial killer, that he’d done that before to those poor women. What if you didn't fight? What if he managed to overpower you?

Jay closed his hands into a fist, pressing his nails into his palms in an attempt to let out even a tiny bit of the anger, rage and fear he was feeling at the moment.

He didn't even want to imagine it, the thought was enough to make him sick. He didn't want to imagine what could happen to you. He run the risk of losing you forever without even realizing it.

Jay couldn't exist in a world where you weren't there. He couldn't even pass the idea of not having you next to him, the pain from this thought alone was unbearable and it was enough to make his heart shatter to pieces. Damn it, he asked you to marry him, you were his fiancée, his soon to be wife, the future mother of his children. You had to start a family together, buy a bigger house to raise your children and you’d live and grow old together, forever.

He couldn't accept some son of a bitch threatened to take you away from him, the most beautiful person he'd ever met, the love of his life, his anchor and his salvation.

“What happened to those women?” You asked, afraid to hear the answer.

“Baby…”

“No Jay, please, just… Just tell me. What happened to them?”.

Jay took a deep breath, knowing that telling you would only make you feel worse. “No, love. Listen to me now,” he walked over to you, placing a hand on your healthy cheek and stroking your skin with his thumb. “Don't torture yourself like this, it won't do you any good to know, please trust me. You were so brave and you managed to knock out that son of a bitch and now you're here with me, safe, so just think about this okay? I beg you. I don't even want to think about what happened to those poor women, I don't want to think something like that could’ve happened to you and I don't want you to think about it either.”

He was right. You didn't want to know, sometimes it was better to live in the unknown.

“I'm so proud of you,” he whispered, kissing your forehead as his fingers wiped away your tears with excruciating delicacy. “I would’ve died if anything had happened to you baby, I love you so, so fucking much. I couldn't have survived without you.”

“I love you so much Jay,” you too replied in a whisper before sharing a soft, sweet kiss, your nerves starting to finally calm down. “What happens now?”.

“You’ll stay here and we’ll continue to work non-stop until we catch that bastard.”

“Are you sure I can stay here?”.

“Is this even a question?” He looked at you as if you were an alien “Yes baby, of course you can. You have stay here. I need to know you're safe or I won't be able to think of anything else and I know nothing can happen to you if you’re here. If you need anything call me and I’ll be here okay? Try to get some rest, and put ice on your cheek.”

You nodded, knowing that even you wouldn't feel safe anywhere else but there in the district.

After sitting on the small sofa in the break room you eventually fell asleep, tired and worn out from the shift, the day's events and the lack of sleep from the previous night.

Jay and the rest of the team worked nonstop to try and locate the suspect whose name was still unknown. After learning you had hit his nose and you had probably broken it, they called the hospitals in the area and within a radius of about 20km – deducing he wouldn’t be so stupid to go to the hospital where you worked – with the hope that he’d go to get treated.

This hope turned out to be a reality when Kevin was told by a hospital just outside the city that there was a patient matching the description who was still there waiting to be treated for his broken nose.

When Jay went into the break room to warn you they'd found a lead, his heart skipping a beat seeing you asleep. Your head was resting on the back of the couch, your arms folded across your abdomen as your chest slowly rose and fell.

A sad smile spread across his face as he approached you with silent steps, his chest tightening at the sight of that horrible bruise on your cheek. As his eyes roamed on your body, he then noticed some scratches on your forearms and his stomach dropped again for the thousand time that night. He’d never forgive himself for not being able to help you, for failing to realize sooner what was happening, allowing someone to hurt you, he was hating himself for not being there to protect you.

He decided not to wake you up and he leaned over you, gently stroking your hair and tucking a strand behind your ear that had fallen in front of your face. He kissed your forehead, taking an extra second to savor the moment, grateful to still being able to do it.

“I love you so much my baby,” he whispered, “Everything will be okay, I promise you.”

After telling Trudy to stay by your side and never leave you alone, he headed towards the hospital where the suspect was supposed to be, his blood boiling with anger, his hands shaking with the frenzy of being able to have that son in his hands.

The stalker, however, after seeing the cops coming, didn't hesitate for a second to run away. Jay chased after him, determined not to let him get away.

“Chicago PD! Stop now!” Jay shouted as he quickly descended the emergency stairs and followed the man, skipping a few steps at a time in an attempt to reach him first. The fact the man was injured went to his advantage as Jay took the opportunity to jump on his back, causing both of them to fall heavily to the ground.

Jay's vision immediately blurred with anger.

He punched him in the face, using all the strength he had in his body to hurt him. “Son of a bitch!” He exclaimed through clenched teeth, punching him again and again. He didn't care about anything, he didn't care about the consequences there could be. He just wanted to see him suffer, to see him writhe in pain and fear, just the way you did.

“You made a fucking mistake tonight,” Jay spat, standing up and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up like a sack of potatoes before slamming him heavily against the wall. The man coughed, letting out sounds of pain even if Jay couldn't care less. “You'll wish you’d never met her when I'm done with you, you worthless piece of shit.”

He hit him in the face with another punch, not caring about the blood splattered on him after each blow.

He didn't even realize he wasn't alone anymore. Voight was there and watched the scene without batting an eyelid. He deserved it, he deserved everything Jay would do to him, not just for you but also for those poor women who weren’t lucky enough to survive. He knew there was no way to stop him, even if he wanted to, especially since you were involved.

Jay hit the man's head against the wall, then pushing him to the ground. He approached him and without any mercy and without even acknowledging the man's suffering, he kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck…” the man murmured weakly.

“Look at me you son of a bitch!” Jay cursed, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt again and punching him in the face. “You thought it was fucking fun to hurt my fiancée?!”.

Another strong punch.

“Answer me!” He shouted, knowing he’d not receive a response.

Jay had completely lost control.

His mind was only picturing your wounded and tear-stained face, your terrified expression, your eyes full of tears, the bruises on your arm, on your face, the scratches, the way you hugged him so tightly because of the terror you felt, the fear you must have felt in those weeks.

“You thought you’d get away with it huh?! Making my future wife's life a fucking hell?!” He growled again, kicking this time the man’s face. “Making her scared of her own fucking shadow?!”.

Another kick in the stomach.

He was about to kill him and he didn’t give a fuck.

He bent over the man who was then barely breathing. “Did you like putting your useless dirty hands on my girl, huh?” he hissed as his foot stepped on one of the man’s hand with so much force until he heard his screams and his bones cracking.

He didn't move anymore, now unconscious and covered in his own blood.

Voight intervened at that point, not even knowing if he was alive or not. “That's okay Jay, calm down now.” He placed his hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from the unconscious man. Jay was breathing heavily, as if he had just run a marathon, his angry eyes still focused on the bastard lying on the ground.

“Now get away from here. Go out from the emergency exit and drive back to your fiancée, you were always there with her okay? I’m sure she needs you now.” Voight had ordered him but Jay didn't respond at first. “Halstead.”

At that point Jay focused his gaze on his boss and nodded feebly, casting one last glance at the stalker before walking away.

He wiped his face and hands with a handkerchief he had found in the car, trying to ignore the pain in his swelled hand, his knuckles red.

He never regretted what he did.

He had always condemned the brutal ways some cops used, like his own boss did sometimes, but in that moment he didn't stop to think about how he’d not hesitate even a second to do it again and make suffer anyone who’d hurt you.

When it came to you he’d lose his mind, his judgment clouded. You were the most important person in his life, the most precious of treasures, and he’d protect you with his own life if he could, if it meant keep you safe forever. It may have seemed an exaggeration, it may have seemed crazy, but he didn't care, God, he would’ve burn the entire city to the ground if it meant protecting you.

And as he drove to the district, eager to see you again, only one thought ran through his mind: how much he regretted not making that piece of shit suffer more.

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Main Masterlist

Jay Halstead Masterlist

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Jay announced as he walked through the door of the apartment you two shared, frowning when he got no response. There was an almost deathly silence in the house and he even doubted you were home for a moment.

“Baby? Where are you?” Jay spoke again placing the bags containing dinner on the kitchen table and then heading to your bedroom. He opened the door and a smile was born on his lips when he saw you sitting on the bed, your back to him. He went out in the afternoon and found you in the same position as he left you in the evening.

Without seeing your face, he already knew you had a pen between your lips as you chewed it in frustration. Your hair was tied up in a messy bun and you were wearing a t-shirt, obviously Jay's.

Numerous papers and notes were scattered on the bed, a sign you were still rehearsing and studying for your next detective exam. Jay walked over to the bed, realizing you hadn't even realized he was there yet.

“Hey,” he said placing his hands on your eyes, roaring as you literally jumped in fright.

“Are you out of your mind?! You scared the shit out of me!” you exclaimed raising your voice, your hand resting on your chest as you waited for your heartbeat to return to normal. “Go away, don't touch me,” you pushed him away when he, while he was still laughing out loud, tried to hug you. “You're a piece of shit you know that? You can't pop on me like that fuck's sake!”.

“Sorry love, I didn't mean to scare you,” Jay tried to justify himself, smiling at you. You rolled your eyes and returned your gaze to the note sheet you were trying to memorize. He removed some papers to make space and sat in front of you, so he could have a good look at you. “Why aren’t you looking at me?” he chucked.

“I'm mad at you now.”

“Why’s that my sweet princess?”.

“Because you almost gave me a heart attack!” you exclaimed looking at him not amused at all.

Jay tried to hold back his laughter and pulled you by your hands, wrapping you in a hug. “In my defense, I called you several times and you didn't answer me,” he kissed your forehead as he stroked your back “Can I make it up to you with dinner? I brought some Mexican, your favorite.”

Your eyes lit up when you heard those last words and in that same instant your stomach rumbled. “Mh, maybe.”

Jay chuckled and squeezed you tighter. “Now woman, are you going to give me a kiss or not? I missed you so much today.”

You smiled and lifted your head, placing a hand on his cheek and drawing him to you in a kiss. He almost moaned into the kiss, having no idea how much he'd missed your lips until they were pressed against his.

His hand stroked the side of your face, and a sigh escaped your lips as he let his tongue slip in your mouth, deepening the kiss and completely taking your breath away.

“Come on love let's go eat, I can't waste time, I still have to study,” you murmured once you pulled away.

“Since when is kissing your boyfriend a waste of time?” he asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow.

You jostled him playfully. “Don't say that, you know exactly what I mean. I have the exam in three weeks and I'm literally not even halfway through the program, Jay I can't...”

“Hey, hey, hey, stop,” he soothed you placing his hands on your cheeks, “My love, everything will be fine, I know how you feel and I know you're under a lot of stress. How about we go eat now? Let's talk a bit and if you want I'll help you study later mmh?”.

You and Jay sat on the couch eating dinner and talked about how your days had gone. However, your mind was not at ease and you couldn’t stop thinking about the amount of pages you’d have to study and how little time you had. Anxiety was gripping your stomach and by then you couldn't concentrate anymore on nothing else but this damned exam.

Jay was trying to be as close to you as he could. His heart ached to see you so stressed out and worried, and God, he would’ve taken all the anxiety you felt not letting you worry one second of your life. He knew how you felt, he too had been there, but seeing you like this wasn't equally easy and not being able to do anything to make you feel more serene made him feel helpless like few other times in his life.

It felt like your life revolved around this damn exam. You couldn't think of anything else anymore. When you woke up in the morning the first thought was to go to study and when you went to sleep the last thought was how much you should’ve study the day after. You knew it wasn't healthy and you knew you were on the verge of loosing your mind.

It was just after midnight when Jay woke up.

He didn't realize he fell asleep and when he touched the side of the bed, he wasn't surprised to find out you weren't there. He sighed before sitting on the bed and standing up, walking towards the living room where – as he suspected – he found you.

You were sitting on the sofa, countless papers scattered around you as you stared at the notes resting on your legs. You went there to let Jay rest after he fell asleep while you studied. At that point, though, you couldn't even understand what you were reading anymore but you didn't want to give up, you couldn't.

Jay approached you from behind and was careful this time to make sure to let you know he was there. “Baby,” he said, placing his hands on your shoulders and starting to massage them. God, you were tighter than a violin string.

That pleasant touch made you close your eyes for a few seconds, throwing your head back and touching Jay's bare abdomen.

“What are you doing awake? Go to sleep honey, it's been a long day for you,” you muttered, eyes still closed as Jay's hands worked their magic on you. He looked down at you and a small smile was born on his lips when he saw the expression of contentment and relaxation on your face.

“I can't go back to sleep knowing you're here,” he replied and leaned over to give you a kiss on the lips “Why don't you come to bed with me? You need to sleep baby, you can't go on like this.”

“I know, but I can't,” you sighed and then opened your eyes, reality hitting you full in the face again.

“Of course you can baby. Do you really think it's good for you to stay up late? I know for a fact you can't even concentrate right now,” he spoke. He let go of your shoulders and walked around the couch to kneel right in front of you, “Your brain needs to rest now, it needs to assimilate and process the information absorbed so far, it can't do that if you keep bombarding yourself with new notions.”

“I know honey but I don't have time... I still have so many things to do,” you murmured, your voice breaking with tiredness and on the verge of crying. Jay lifted his hand and gently stroked your cheek, smiling when you leaned against his touch.

“I know how you feel but this is not good for you my love. If you don't understand what you're studying, if you don't focus on what you do instead of how to do it in the most appropriate way so you can remember it, believe me, the moment you’ll take the exam you won't remember anything because you would’ve bombarded your brain with so much information and haven’t even given yourself time to make it your own,” he stroked your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear that escaped the bun “Don't think about how many things you have to do, it's the most destructive thing you can do baby. You can’t do anything without the constant thought that you have to do this and that, or am I wrong?”.

You slightly shook your head. He was right about every single word he said.

“Better two things done right than ten things done wrong, always remember that.”

“What if I'm asked eight of the ten things I haven't done?”.

“Y/N you underestimate yourself and your abilities,” he spoke softly as you stared at him and listening carefully to what he was saying, “You are one of the most talented people I know, I know you’re strong and nothing will stop you. If anyone is able to pass this exam, it's you.”

“What if I don't make it?” you whispered, your eyes watering.

“Who gives a fuck,” he replied “If you don't make it – which I really doubt – you'll get another chance, and if you don't make it either then you'll get the next chance. I'll still be proud of you like I've never been of anyone else, because I see how much you're committed, how much you're giving your all. But don’t forget this, you mustn't lose yourself, you mustn't sacrifice your health, your well-being for a stupid exam, it isn’t worth it and it will never be, okay? Nothing is more important than you, you understand me?”.

You nodded, trying to pry every ounce of your being to not to cry. You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him like you've never done before. “God Jay, I don't deserve you… I'm so lucky to have you.”

He wrapped his arms around your hips, pulling you close to him and hugging you with all the love and affection he was capable of. His hands drew imaginary circles on your back as he stroked you gently and tenderly in an attempt to soothe you and make all the anxieties and fears that tormented you go away.

You left kisses on his shoulder and then on his cheek, hugging and squeezing him again as if your life depended on it.

“It's okay baby, it's okay, I’ll always be by your side no matter what,” he whispered and your heart made a small jump in your chest, starting to beat wildly. God, you loved that man, so damn much and so intensely you couldn't even describe it.

“I'm so sorry,” you muttered so softly you didn't even know if he heard you. But when he pulled away slightly from the hug and looked at you with confusion, you realized he had heard you instead. “Why, love?”

“I feel like I've been neglecting you these last few weeks because of this damn exam and I feel so guilty… You… You’re so nice and understanding to me baby and I don't deserve you…” You didn't finish the sentence because Jay covered your mouth with his hand.

“Quit this bullshit, okay?” You nodded your head and he removed his hand from your mouth, then placed it on your side. “Don't ever say those things again, do you hear me? I don't know what assholes you used to deal with in the past but it's not a burden to me. God baby, I would kill to make you feel better and get all this weight off your shoulders.”

You smiled. “I love you so much, you know that right?”.

He giggled and he gave you a kiss. “I know and I love you too very much my baby. So how about you come to bed with me and get some rest now?”.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers stroking his hair. You took few moments to admire him, observing every single detail of his face, something you felt you hadn't done for a long, long time.

Jay's hands stroked your lower back as he smiled tenderly at you. His eyes sparkled as they looked at you with so much love you felt overwhelmed.

“Y/N don't look at me like that,” he whispered.

“Like what?” you whispered back, while your gaze alternated between his eyes and his lips and occasionally even on his bare chest.

“With these doe eyes, you know what you do to me.”

“I'm not doing anything,” you licked your lips and that was the point where he lost his mind. He sighed deeply, trying to stop the blood flow to his dick.

“Oh baby you know damn well what you're doing,” he retorted, that panty-ripping grin on his lips. Without saying anything else, you grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss that left you both breathless within moments.

A confused look came over your face as Jay let go of you, standing up. He went around the sofa and positioned himself behind you, then placing his hands on your shoulders again and starting to massage them carefully.

“Mmmh,” you let out a moan as your muscles melted under his expert and careful touch. That little moan went straight to Jay's dick, he tried to keep his composure and not act like a horny twelve year old but fuck, you were so hard to resist.

“Oh baby, this feels so good,” you moaned as his fingers continued to work their magic on your muscles.

“Y/N. Stop it,” he warned you, not thinking he could keep his cool any longer and not literally fuck you right there and then.

“Doing what?” you asked innocently, smiling even though he couldn't see you.

“Moaning like that. You’re driving me crazy.” Before you could answer he leaned close to you, leaving a small kiss on the bare skin of your neck. That simple gesture was enough to send shivers down your spine and make you forget everything.

“How about we study for a little bit honey?” he whispered and another moan escaped your lips as Jay began to leave small and languid kisses down your jaw, your neck where he lingered and began his intense torture. His lips sucked your skin, his teeth nibbled at it, his tongue licked it making you completely lose your mind. “Come on baby.”

“I… I can’t…” you stuttered, not able to function properly.

“Why not? Wasn't that what you wanted?”.

“God Jay… You drive me crazy…”

“And you know how crazy it drives me to see you in just my shirt? It's been so long since I touched you.” Jay's hands slid from your shoulders onto your chest, then onto your abdomen, with an unbearable slowness you couldn't even keep yourself still.

“Can I?” he asked in a whisper and the speed with which you answered was embarrassing. “Yes, oh my god, yes.”

He chuckled and as his lips started nibbling your ear, his hands slipped under your/his shirt, reaching up to cup your breasts. He started massaging it, pinching your hard nipples with his fingers. “Goddamn baby, I love your breast so damn much... So fucking perfect.”

“Jay please…”

He took off your shirt, thus leaving you with only your panties in front of his lustful gaze. He walked in front of you again and didn't even try to disguise the audacity with which his eyes devoured your body. From your shoulders, to your breasts, going down your sides, your pussy - still for a little while - covered, up to your sinuous legs.

On the other hand, you didn't spare yourself either. Jay was there in front of you and he looked like a fucking Greek god. His muscular arms, his chest and abdomen sculpted as if by a sculptor with a hammer and picket, his V-line that disappeared into the gray suit which did nothing but highlight his throbbing erection. Everything about him drove you crazy and the more you looked at him the more you couldn't wait to have him. God you were so lucky.

Being with him was better than winning the lottery.

“Come here,” you said, when you finally brought your eyes back to him. However, though, you couldn't help alternating them between his face and his erect dick that you so ardently wanted inside you.

“Impatient baby?” he smirked, approaching you. He leaned towards you, placing one hand on the arm of the sofa and another on the backrest, effectively trapping you in his arms. You were intoxicated, mesmerized by his scent, his body, by him.

You placed your hands on his chest, feeling how his skin was on fire. He cocked his head to the side, looking at you with such intensity you almost felt like dying. But the way he licked his lips, like he was the predator ready to devour his prey, God, that completely took the breath away from your lungs.

You leaned in to kiss him but when he pulled back a bewildered expression appeared on your face.

“You don’t even want to kiss me?“ you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh believe me baby, kissing you doesn't even come close to the things I want to do to you. I want fuck every single thing you studied out of your brain,” he replied, making you wetter than you already were. By then you were a complete mess and your pussy was throbbing with the desire to feel his fingers, his tongue, his dick inside you. “But I thought about what I said earlier.”

“Jay please touch me, I can't take it anymore,” you blurted out, not caring in the slightest how pathetic you sounded.

He chuckled, further building the frustration and anger inside you. He kissed you but as you tried to deepen the kiss he pulled back, making you huff with impatience. “I'm hating you so much right now. Stop teasing me like that.”

“Oh my little princess is so impatient, don't worry love I'm not going to leave you like this, fuck, god knows how much I can't wait to have my dick inside you, but I've been thinking about something.”

You rolled your eyes, frustrated and eager. “What?”.

“I think you should continue studying.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious? I'm half naked in front of you and all you have to say is 'you should continue studying'?”.

“Exactly,” he smiled at you, taking the notebook you were studying from and placing it next to you “I'll help you repeat and maybe give you an incentive.”

“Incentive?”.

Jay reached down and placed his hands on your breasts, massaging them vigorously before wrapping his lips around your right tit, sucking, licking and biting your nipple.

You moaned, arching your back to meet his movements. Your hand rested on the back of his neck, as you stroked his hair. A groan escaped your lips when he pulled away from your breasts but your body vibrated with anticipation when his hands descended along your hips, then taking off your panties and throwing them in an indefinite point of the room.

At that moment you were naked, completely at his mercy and you couldn't wait to be used as he pleased.

Your breath died in your throat when Jay, without ever breaking eye contact, spread your legs wide enough to have a perfect view of your wet pussy after settling between them.

“Now you're going to be a good girl and study like you wanted to do and I'll be here to listen to you okay?” he spoke while his hands caressed your thighs as a sign of provocation “In the meantime I will entertain myself by licking this gorgeous pussy of yours.”

“Jay c'mon please. You know very well that… Oh fuck…” you finished the sentence with a loud moan when Jay stuck out his tongue and gave a long, slow lick of your folds.

Just licking you after what he felt like forever was enough to make him moan. The expression of pure ecstasy on your face, God, that vision alone was almost enough to make him come in his pants before you even touched him.

“Shit baby I missed this pussy so damn much,” he murmured in ecstasy, as if he'd just stepped through the gates of heaven, his eyes locked on you as you squirmed under his touch. His thumb drew imaginary circles on your clit, making you moan uncontrollably as pleasure coursed through your veins. “C’mon. Study now.”

“Jay… I… Oh yeah fuck just keep going…” you moaned, your hands resting all over the couch in an attempt to give you some support. Jay, however, suddenly stopped and an unsatisfied groan escaped your lips. “What did I just tell you?”.

“Baby please it's not fair… I can't…” you whimpered like a little girl whose sweets had just been stolen. He nodded at the notebook next to you and, letting out a long series of profanities that made him chuckle, you took it, opening it to any page.

“Now read, I want to hear you talk.”

You did as he said, wanting nothing more than to have an orgasm, and you started reading even if your mind didn't have the slightest idea of what you were saying, too focused on his tongue which then started licking your pussy again.

Jay pressed his nose against your pussy, inhaling your smell, that smell he missed so much, burying his mouth in your folds, making you a mess of sighs, moans and groans, making a mess on his mouth, dripping with your wetness.

Jay never took his eyes off you for a second, licking, sucking on your clit and all your fluids. His tongue alternated slow movements with faster ones, making you lose you mind.

“Keep going. If you stop, I'll stop too,” he spoke but you seemed to be on another planet. He grabbed your thighs, wrapping them around his neck as you spontaneously squeezed him between them. God, he couldn't have been in a better place, he could’ve choked to death like this and still be the happiest man on earth.

You tried to read, you really tried, but it was impossible. Your vision was clouded with pleasure, you couldn't utter a single word without a long series of moans escaping your lips. At that point you were sure that everyone heard you, but you didn't care, you were only focused on Jay, his tongue and the finger he was fucking you with.

“Oh yeah baby you make me feel so fucking good..." you sighed, now out of breath.

“Keep going darling, you're being such a good girl,” he murmured as he ate you as if he was a hungry man who hadn't eaten anything for days. He replaced the finger inside of you with his tongue, fucking you with it. As his tongue went in and out of you, his thumb continued to massage your clit, making you completely lose all ability to think.

You threw your head back, arching your back as you began to feel the orgasm building inside you, your notes now completely forgotten. Your body seemed to go into spasms and you didn't know how much longer you would be able to resist.

“Jay…” you moaned his name and it was so fucking sexy that Jay wanted to record it and put it as his cell phone ringtone. He knew you were close, after a long time together he had gotten to know your body and knew when you were about to come. Your legs were shaking, your breathing was heavy as if you were running, your movements against his face were impetuous, messy. He didn't stop. He started to fucking you with two of his fingers, and as he sucked your clit you finally exploded into an orgasm so intense you thought you were dying.

You didn't know if you could die from an orgasm, have a heart attack because of pleasure, but that's exactly what you felt in that moment and, fuck, it was so beautiful. You felt your vision blur, your body fluctuated as if you were in space and for an instant you lost the space-time conception.

You remained for a few moments with your eyes closed, trying to recover and come to your senses.

Jay was taken aback when after a minute you pulled him to you, kissing him like your life depended on it. His lips and beard were still wet with your fluids and you could feel your taste in his mouth while you deep kissed him.

Your hands pulled down his pants along with his boxers and he kicked them off, standing naked in front of you in all his glory. God you wanted nothing more than to feel it inside you.

“Baby… Oh, holy shit,” he hissed as you wrapped your hand around his dick and started stroking it. “Fuck yes,” his hips began to move in sync with the movement of your hands and his arms struggled to hold him up as the pleasure flowed freely through his veins.

“I need to be inside of you baby, I can't take it anymore,” he groaned, as he tried to leverage all of his strength to try not to come after even a minute.

He settled between your legs, grabbing one and placing it on his shoulder and with almost excruciating slowness he penetrated you, slipping inside you and finally filling that void you felt.

A guttural moan escaped his mouth and he didn't know how he managed not to come instantly. Jay remained in that position, still, trying to enjoy every single moment, feeling your pussy clench, soaking wet, around his needy dick. You started to get impatient, feeling the need to feel him moving inside you growing more and more. “Baby please, fuck me… I need it so bad,” you started moving underneath him, slightly moving your hips to seek some relief, to hit that magical spot inside you and Jay almost had a heart attack, already on the verge of losing control.

“Jesus Christ… Fuck Y/N…” he cursed “It feels so good to be buried inside you… You make me lose my goddamn mind…”

Finally, he began to move his hips, with slow, decisive, calculated movements and the moans you began to make were so hot they could compete with a porn film actress. His dick masterfully fucked you, tortured you and with every single damn thrust he left you wanting, craving for more.

“Jay please… Faster…” you cried out, your hands on his chest. One arm was around your leg while the other rested next to your head on the back of the sofa. Your eyes were fixed on each other, the green of his irises mingling with yours. You never took your eyes off the other even as his dick came out and disappeared inside you with more vigor, more strength and decision this time.

It was a higher level of intimacy, you seemed to be a whole and not only from a physical point of view because it was not only your bodies that made love but also your souls.

“Oh yes baby… Just like that fuck…” you moaned loudly, completely lost in the pleasure Jay was giving you. Your fingers pressed more firmly against his skin, causing him scratches that you didn't even realize at first.

“Baby I won’t last any longer if you keep clenching around me like that,” he breathed out, his eyes alternating between yours and your parted lips. “Please kiss me.”

You lifted yourself slightly and without having him to tell you twice, you fulfilled his wish. It was a messy, wet kiss, both totally lost in each other as he continued to fuck you. You couldn't kiss each other without stopping and moaning into each other's lips, as the sound of your skins filled the room.

“My god… Ah yeah… I love you so fucking much Jay…” you whispered as your faces were still so close, your mouths touching as you swallowed each other's breath and moans.

Jay didn't expect to feel what he felt with that simple statement. It wasn't the words, it certainly wasn't the first time you said you loved him, but it was the way you said it, so vulnerable, in the throes of uncontrollable pleasure while his dick continued to mercilessly fuck you, so sensual but at the same time whispered so softly it made his heart melt.

“Y/N…” he moaned your name like a little prayer “What the hell are you doing to me baby, I love you so much too… Ah… So fucking perfect, shit.”

Jay felt he was close and by the way you clenched around his dick he knew you were too. His movements began to be faster, more disorderly.

“Yes baby you want to come for me mmh? Do you want to fill my pussy with your cum?” you sensually beat your lashes driving him further crazy, while your fingers touched and stimulated your clit.

“Fuck baby, fuck, fuck, I'm coming... Holy shit!” he gasped and with one last thrust he let himself go into an overwhelming orgasm, releasing every single drop of his cum inside you. You came almost immediately too, rocked with the waves of pleasure that continued to course through your body and make you toes curl.

Jay collapsed onto the couch next to you but before you knew it he was pulling you onto him, wrapping his arms around your body and hugging you tightly against him.

If the sex was mind blowing, the cuddles after sex were almost better. God only knew how much you both loved being embraced like this, one on top of the other, your naked and hot bodies in contact.

“Shit if this is how you study for an exam I won't even get up to go to the bathroom,” you murmured, your eyes closed from tiredness. Jay chuckled, his chest vibrating under your head.

“I'll be happy to help you baby, I won't back down you know,” he replied too with his eyes closed as his fingers caressed the bare skin of your back, up and down, from your shoulders to your lower back. “Babe?” he continued when he got no answer. He lifted his head slightly to be able to look at you and a smile crept onto his lips as he noticed you immediately fell asleep.

“My sweet baby,” he whispered, leaving a kiss on your forehead and stroking your now messy and disheveled hair, at the same time letting out a sigh of happiness and contentment. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me you know that? God, I will never stop saying how lucky I was to meet you and have you in my life,” he continued softly giving you another kiss on the forehead, cradling you in his arms, “I'm so proud of you, you can't imagine how much. Now rest okay? I will always be here by your side. Sweet dreams my love.”

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Main Masterlist

Jay Halstead Masterlist

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He was on the verge of going crazy, his patience running thin as he watched you from a distance laughing and joking with your friends, as if nothing could upset you.

He couldn't take his eyes off you even though his mind kept projecting and reminding him why you were in that situation. He couldn't take his eyes off you because you were gorgeous, the most beautiful woman his gaze had ever laid on, because you belonged to him but he couldn't even talk to you.

His blood boiled in his veins, his hands closing into fists. He hated everything and everyone in that moment and he hated you. He was hating you for the way you were acting like nothing happened, for the way you tucked your wavy hair behind your shoulders, the way you kept adjusting your dress, that dress so terribly perfect he just wanted to literally rip it off you and never let you wear it again.

He hated the way he was there, at a distance, hawking your every move, analyzing everything you did and your lips when he wanted to do nothing but get close to you, circle your hips with his arm and never let you go. He hated that he was pining for you and couldn't do anything to make up for it because you hadn't said a word to him.

You hadn't given him a single look, not even a glare, and Jay couldn't blame you because it was all his fault, because he had taken you for granted and now he was in danger of losing you forever.

Jay got back home, not realizing it was now midnight and that, once again, he had broken his promise to have dinner with you.

“Hey bab…-” he said to greet you as soon as he saw you on the sofa, a book in your hands. You closed it with more force than expected before placing it next to you.

“No, no 'baby,'”you interrupted him, your tone strangely cold and calm and Jay knew immediately that something was wrong. “We need to talk.”

He sat next to you, his heart pounding. “If it's for the dinner…”

You interrupted him again, not wanting to listen to the umpteenth excuses he would’ve made. You were tired. “I want a break, I don't know if I want to continue this relationship.”

Jay's heart stopped for an instant and a horrified expression came over his face. “W-what?”.

You stood up, your eyes on his wide and full of fear. The way you were looking at him, so coldly, so detached, Jay felt like dying. “You heard me.”

“No, no, no, you can't. W-we can't take a break, we can talk about it…” he stammered.

“No Jay, there's nothing to talk about,” you retorted. “I'll be gone for a couple of days.”

“No, like hell you're going away, I won't let you...”

“Where have you been all this time?”.

“I was working you know this, there was a case that hit us up to the neck. I'm so sorry…”

“It's the fifth time this month we've set up a date and you stand me off,” you said, feeling tears prick your eyes but forcing yourself to stay strong “I'm tired Jay.”

“No, you can't say that. Y/N I love you, you can't leave me...”

“How do you love me Jay?!” you blurted out, louder than you meant to, unable to keep your composure anymore “Is this your way of loving me? By standing me up on every date? Forgetting our anniversary? How are you loving me?!”.

“Y/N…” he mumbled your name, not knowing what to say other than 'I'm sorry' because you were so damn right.

“No Jay! I'm fucking tired! I'm tired of feeling like your second choice! I'm tired of feeling taken for granted because you think I won't have the balls to leave you since I love you too much. Great news Jay, I'm going to leave your ass because I can't take this anymore!” you almost yelled, now in a fit of anger “I don’t want to beg for affection and love from my boyfriend! Asking you to please spend some time with me! All you think about is work, work, work, always this fucking job, and when do you think of me?!”.

“I'm doing what I fucking can Y/N! I am sorry! You're right, I neglected you but you can't leave me...”

“God I hate you so fucking much right now,” you ran your hands through your hair in frustration “I hate you so much because I feel like a selfish bitch who only thinks about herself! I know you work, I know your job is very important but I'm tired! I tried to understand you, to stay silent, to meet your needs… But I'm human too Jay! I exist in the relationship too, I too have my desires, my needs and my fears fuck, it's not just you! Have you ever once asked me 'how are you' or 'how was your day’? You never fucking did! All you can say is 'sorry, sorry, sorry' expecting this will fix everything but it doesn't work like that! And I've fucking had enough, I'm tired of fighting for a relationship you don't even give a shit about!”.

You left him no room to reply because you went into the bedroom to get the suitcase you had already packed. Jay tried to stop you, tried to apologize but it was in vain, you left the apartment, never looking back.

And that was the last time he saw you before meeting you again at the wedding you were both invited to, almost two weeks later.

There was no shortage of attempts of reconciliation from Jay, all of which were rejected and after which he understood he had to respect you and give you your space.

But God, how he missed you.

“Halstead,” he heard someone call to him, looking away from you for an instant only to see Adam beside him with a glass of liquor. Jay stood in the back of the room, leaning against the wall and hands in his trousers’ pockets as he withdrew from the festivities.

“Thanks,” he replied before taking the glass and downing the liquor, which turned out to be whiskey, and looking for you in the crowd. You were still talking to a group of your friends, a glass of champagne you occasionally sipped. A veiled expression of disgust appeared on your face as you took a sip of the champagne and Jay smiled, knowing it wasn't your favorite liquor and that you were most likely just drinking it for company.

“You're ridiculous man,” Adam commented, taking a sip of his drink when he noticed the direction of Jay's gaze. “Why don't you just talk to her?”.

Jay sighed. “She doesn't want to talk to me and I don't blame her.”

He saw the way you adjusted your dress, running your hand up the skirt, smoothing it. His ravenous and hungry eyes traveled all over your body, watching the way that dress hugged you and showed off every curve of your body. It was a long ice silk mermaid gown, the thick straps of your dress dropped past your shoulders leaving them bare and a long deep slit on the right side showed off your leg. Jay was losing his mind, he was literally going crazy.

“Standing here and watching her like a hawk isn't going to fix the situation. You look like a creep.”

“I know, fuck, I know.” His fingers drummed on the glass, feeling a grip in his stomach when he saw you laughing heartily at a joke from a friend of yours, your head tilted back and your hand resting on his shoulder.

Jay began to smoke with rage and jealousy, about to break the empty glass with his own hands. Your friend placed a hand on your lower back, saying something to your ear. Jay swore he saw your gaze flicker to him and a small smirk on your lips but he was too focused and angry about that filthy hand on you to make any logical thought.

He'd always been jealous, that funny jealousy you always teased him about, but in that moment seeing that bastard so close to you, the way he was blatantly hitting on you, the way you didn't even realized it and kept laughing and joking with him, making him think he had a chance… All of this was too much, too much for Jay to bear.

He was the only one that could touch you like this, the only one that could make you laugh, get close to your ear and whisper something to you.

That’s why, when he headed towards you, with a furious and angry look on his face, Adam's attempt to stop him was in vain.

Before you knew what was happening, Jay's hand was already around your wrist and he was dragging you away from the reception room, leaving the man you were talking to standing there.

“Jay stop! I’m wearing heels, I can't run!” you exclaimed as you struggled to keep up with him, your other hand holding up your dress to avoid tripping. You walked into one of the bathrooms there and Jay wasted no time in locking it.

“What the hell are you doing?!” you asked trying to keep your voice low so no one would hear you. His breathing quickened, his chest heavy as his fingers rubbed his temples, a gesture he used to do when he was particularly frustrated.

“You’re really asking me what am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!” he exclaimed angrily, his eyes on yours “Do I need to remind you you're not fucking single, Y/N? Or did you end our relationship without even having the courage to say it to my face?”.

“You had no right to drag me away like that Jay! My goodness!”.

He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I can't believe it,” he threw his hands in the air “We haven't seen each other for two weeks and this is your fucking thought!”.

“And whose fault is that for ending up in this situation, huh?!” you spit angry. He was looking at you with an angry expression on his face, his jaw set, his hair messy from fingers constantly running through it, but he was so incredibly sexy it took your breath away. And you hated yourself for these thoughts, because you were locked in a bathroom and you couldn't help but think about how damn beautiful he was, how pure sex the suit he was wearing was.

“I'm doing everything to make it up to you, Y/N! I've been coming to your house for two weeks and you won't even open the door and give me the opportunity to talk and I know it's the least I could do and you deserve the world but you think I can try to improve if you keep acting like that?!”.

“How am I acting?!”.

“You’re even asking me!” he exclaimed, taking a step towards you and waving his arms in the air. “You let that son of a bitch touch you and put his filthy hands on you! You… You laughed at his jokes, joked with him all of that in front of me!” he panted “What?!” he snapped, noticing the smirk that had appeared on your lips.

You took one step towards him, and then another until you were just inches apart. His words died in his throat as he tried to keep control. But he couldn't, not when you placed a hand on his chest, not when you looked at him with those 'fuck me' eyes, not when your scent and your proximity were intoxicating him so much it took his breath away and made it impossible for him to think of anything that wasn't you.

“Are you really that jealous, huh?” you asked in a whisper, your tone low and sensual. Your fingers caressed his chest and he squeezed his hands into two tight fists, because if they touched your body he would no longer be able to control himself. “You don't like when someone touches me? When someone whispers how good I look in this dress?”.

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “God. Keep your fucking mouth shut if you know what's best for you.”

“Or what? What are you going to do to me detective Halstead? Do you want me to go back to Ben?” you whispered after you leaned into his ear. You inhaled his scent deeply, that scent you missed so much, that made you dizzy, that scent you wanted to smell on every corner of your body.

Jay grabbed your face with his hand and your heart skipped a beat, his gaze alternating between your eyes and your then slightly parted lips. “If your aim is to make me lose my goddam mind darling, you are succeeding.”

You couldn't answer, the intense green of his eyes made you waver and his grip so strong but so delicate at the same time had made every single cell of your body ignite and he knew it, he understood it by the way he you looked at him, by the way your body pressed against his.

He started taking steps, making you walk backwards, slowly, until your back touched the cold tiles of the walls.

“Did you like playing with me? Driving me crazy?” he whispered as his warm breath tickled your lips. He pressed his body against yours, your chests pressed against each other and despite the various tissues that separated you, you could feel his hard erection pressed against you and that was enough to leave you wanting to have him, to feel him.

“It's one of my favorite hobbies,” you replied and he tightened his grip around your jaw.

“Just shut up for once in your life,” he hissed through his teeth. He tilted your head to one side and with his other free hand brushed your hair behind your shoulders, exposing your neck. As his lips left a small kiss on your skin, a rush of shivers ran up your spine. “I'm so fucking mad at you right now Y/N,” he planted a series of wet kisses down your neck until he got to that point he knew would drive you crazy “Even though I miss you like air,” he licked your skin, nibbling it with his teeth while sucking it lightly with his lips. You were already a mess and the heavy sighs you exhaled while trying not to moan and half-closed eyes were proof of this. “You drive me so fucking crazy.”

Your hands closed in a fist around his jacket, trying to release all the frustration and desire you were feeling. His free hand was squeezing your hips with such force you thought he’d leave some marks but a gasp left your lips as he groped your ass. God, it was so fucking good.

“But maybe you could use a little reminder,” he nibbled your ear. In one motion he spun you around, pressing you face against the wall, his dick pressed on your ass. He leaned back to your ear as his hands traveled along your body. “Because you seem to forget you're only mine. Those,” his hand covered your breasts almost moaning at the sensation “They’re only mine,” with his fingers he unzipped the dress, making it fall ruinously to the floor and leaving you exposed to him, only panties to cover your body. He kneeled behind you, leaving a wet kiss on your ass biting and leaving a mark on it. “This is mine.”

He stood up after squeezing your ass with his fingers again, making you wet like never before. “You're so fucking beautiful,” he bit your shoulder as he circled your throat, tilting your head back and exposing your neck again which he wasted no time sucking and kissing it, leaving numerous marks. “And so fucking mine,” he whispered in your ear again “All mine.”

You could no longer form a single coherent thought, your mind too foggy as his hands touched you everywhere and leaving you wanting more.

“Do I need to remind you who can make you lose your mind without even touching you?” His fingers caressed the hem of your panties, torturing you. “Do I need to remind you who you're rubbing against now silently begging to get fucked in a fucking bathroom?”.

“Jay please,” you managed to mutter.

“No, you don't get to say please now,” he replied “Not so big anymore huh baby?”. Without warning he slipped his hand into your panties while the other covered your mouth as a moan escaped your lips. “Do I need to remind who you're so wet for now?”.

Your eyes narrowed in pleasure as you moaned against his hand, his fingers skillfully touching you and making circular motions over your swollen, throbbing clit. God, it was so intense you were afraid your knees would give out sooner or later.

“Shh, you don't want anyone to hear us don't you?” he said when despite the hand on your mouth your moans came out muffled. You reached up behind you, stroking his hard dick, earning you a grunt that reached your throbbing core. “So fucking dirty,” he breathed out with a small smirk on his lips.

Two knocks on the door made you jump and your breath stopped for an instant. Jay, on the other hand, didn't seem to be fazed and kept touching you, inserting a finger inside you and you whimpered, feeling the orgasm already getting closer and closer.

You were so afraid the door was going to open and someone would see you almost naked as Jay had his hand inside your panties, but the pleasure he was giving you was so fucking good you couldn’t care about anything or anyone beside him. It was a long, long time since he touched you and it was almost embarrassing the speed with which you were already almost at the limit.

“Shh… Do you want to come baby? Do you think you deserve it?” he whispered, noting the shadows in front of the door were gone. You nodded vehemently, but at that precise moment he stopped, removing his hand from your mouth. “Too bad. Open your mouth,” with embarrassing speed you did what he told you and the finger that was inside you until recently was now in your mouth as you sucked it and tasted yourself “Good girl.” This simple phrase almost made you faint.

Before you knew what was happening, Jay spun you back towards him and his hands were on your face, his lips pressed against yours. He kissed you until your breath was taken away as his tongue explored every corner of your mouth. It was a sloppy and hungry kiss, almost pornographic, hands in the hair, hands wandering everywhere and pulling off clothes.

“I want you so bad,” you panted as your frantic fingers unbuttoned his pants which fell along with his boxers rolling around his ankles.

“Fuck,” he moaned under his breath as your hand circled his dick and your thumb stroked his pink, throbbing tip, wet with seminal fluid. But he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away and you looked at him with a confused expression. “You don't get to touch me now,” he said and spun you back to the wall.

He was turning you, tossing you around, using you like a doll for only his liking and you had nothing against it, you were so excited you’d make him do whatever he wanted to you.

“Jay please, I'm so horny please… Touch me,” you literally begged, not caring how ridiculous you sounded. He placed his hands on your hips, slipping off your panties and making them fall to the floor along with your dress, leaving you completely naked at his mercy.

Jay was quivering, he couldn't take it anymore, and as you continued to press your ass against his rock hard dick. “Such a needy little whore, do you want me to fuck you in here? In this bathroom?”.

“Yes, fuck, yes.”

He had you positioned in front of the sink and only then you realized how awful you looked, the way your cheeks were flushed, your hair messy, your lips swollen.

He was so breathtaking it almost hurt. How could be someone be so beautiful? So imperfectly perfect?

“Look at you,” he whispered returning your gaze through the mirror. His hands began to touch your breasts as his fingers pinched your hard nipples, “Look how gorgeous you are,” he bit your shoulder. Without warning he penetrated you from behind, making both of you let out a moan you were sure the whole restaurant had heard.

“Shh,” he breathed into your ear “Or I'll stop. Fuck, baby you feel so fucking good.”

He started moving in and, damn it, he was going so hard, you knew when you were done you weren't going to be able to walk straight. The bathroom reverberated with the sounds of your skins touching each other after every thrust, of your muffled moans, sighs.

His hand went around your throat, forcing you to tilt your head back again as his lips bit, sucked and his tongue licked your skin, making sure to leave as many marks as possible.

He knew he was acting like an animal, like a caveman but he didn't fucking care. He wanted everyone to know you were his only, that it was only him that made you bend over a sink like that making you drip on his dick while he fucked you in a filthy bathroom.

You bit your lip trying not to moan but it was so fucking good, so intense, so carnal, you couldn't help yourself. Jay returned his eyes to you through the mirror and as his dick slipped in and out of you with ease, the vision of you being ruined like that drove him crazy.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned and how sexy it was to hear him moan like that in your ear. Your hands stayed on the sink, trying to find support as the force of his thrusts made you go forward.

“Oh yeah, just like that…” you moaned, louder than you ever meant to and he tightened his fingers lightly around your throat. “Shut up or I'll stop, do you understand me?”.

You nodded. “Holy shit Jay,” you muttered, biting your lip again. You felt out of breath, every muscle in your body was jelly and you thought you couldn't make it.

The way he was fucking you, God, he was angry, it was determined, strong and so intense it almost hurt. But you wanted it all, you wanted his dick inside you and fucking you so hard he made all your thoughts go away, you wanted him to come inside you, you wanted to feel him so deeply inside you that you couldn't sit still for the next days, you wanted him to mark you, his lips and his calloused hands all over your body. You were his. Soul and body, hopelessly, irrevocably and forever his.

The hand that was around your throat ended up around your hair, which he pulled back into a messy ponytail, pulling it. “All mine,” he moaned, now on the verge of bursting as he felt his orgasm building up “All fucking mine.”

Your fingers gripped the edge of the sink even harder, your eyes watering with tears. His thrusts were almost even stronger, his dick managed to hit that point inside you that always left you craving for more and you couldn't resist anymore. He was animalistic, passionate, possessive and god if you loved it.

“I-I can't...” you stammered. He pulled your hair making you lift your head and leaned slightly towards you, leaving a sweet kiss on your cheek, in stark contrast with the roughness he was fucking you.

“Of course you can,” he whispered letting out a moan “Oh god I’m so close baby… This pussy feels so fucking good I can’t resist anymore…”

From the way your wet pussy was clenching around his dick he knew you were close too but he didn’t was already coming. His cum poured inside you in an intense, blinding orgasm, filling you up to the last drop.

He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding and it took him a second to come back to reality and remember that you were still under him, still needing an orgasm.

“You were such a good girl,” he whispered into your ear as his fingers touched your clit, “My baby deserves to come.”

“Oh Jay…” and his name sounded like melody in his ears“Yes, yes, fuck, yes. I want to come so bad…”

His hand grabbed your face turning your head to the side and pressing his mouth to yours. It was a messy kiss, interrupted by your moans which he completely swallowed.

Your orgasm was unexpected, sudden, almost paralyzing, making your vision blurry and your head dizzy. Your knees were about to give out and it was Jay who held you up, wrapping an arm around your hips and supporting you. “My beautiful, precious girl,” he kissed your cheeks and shoulders softly “Are you okay?”.

You let out a sigh. “Oh yes, God, it was so good,” he chuckled “But don't think this fixes everything,” you continued pointing a finger at him. “I never even thought about it.”

He helped you get dressed and you both tried to regain at least a normal look but, after looking in the mirror, you realized there was no way anyone was going to not understand what had happened in that bathroom. Your neck was covered by the hickeys he left, your hair was a complete mess, your legs where just jelly.

“Come home with me,” he whispered, grabbing your face, gently stroking your cheeks with his thumbs “Please. Y/N, I need you. I… I don’t want to spend another second without you.”

You looked into his eyes for a moment, your heart beating wildly. “But we need to seriously talk. I don't want to go back to same situation, Jay.”

He shook his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “No, no, it won't happen again and I will do everything in my power to male you forgive me. You’re the most important thing in my life Y/N, you are and you’ll always be my number one priority and I don’t want to ever make you feel like you weren’t again. I haven't been good at proving it lately but I swear, I love you to death baby and there's nothing I wouldn’t do for you, just…” he paused for a second, looking at you so intensely you almost wanted to cry “Just let me prove it to you.”

You nodded slightly, a small smile on your lips that quickly disappeared when someone started knocking on the door.

Well, this was about to get very embarrassing.

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Main Masterlist

Jay Halstead Masterlist

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Jay's voice muffled to your ears from the kitchen as you hurriedly got ready for work, super late. You tied your hair into a ponytail, not wanting to waste any more time trying to fix it before running to the kitchen where Jay had just set breakfast on the table.

“I'm late honey I can't eat,” you said frantically, leaning closer to him and kissing him on the lips before stealing a waffle which you popped into your mouth and began to eat as you looked for your car keys.

“Babe you can't go to work without having breakfast,” Jay retorted as he drank his cup of coffee and watched you amused.

“Yeah? And whose fault is it that I’m late?” you asked ironically “Have you seen my keys baby? Damn it… I can't find them anywhere.”

Jay chuckled and there was no need to say he found them as soon as he started to search for them. He was about to hand them to you but suddenly put his hands behind his back. “I want a kiss first.”

You giggled like a little girl and placed your free hand on his face, kissing him passionately, as if it was the first time you'd seen him in ages. No matter how much time passed, Jay managed to have on you the same effect as the first day, and for a moment, lost in your senses, you almost forgot you had to run away to work.

“Mmmh,” he murmured into the kiss, intensifying it as his arm went around your waist, pressing your body further against his.

“Stop…” you muttered between kisses as you giggled “No,” one kiss “That’s not…” another kiss “Fair…” and yet another one. “You’ve already made me late this morning.”

“Baby it's not my fault you're so stunning. You know I can't keep my hands to myself,” he kept kissing you, taking the opportunity to shamelessly squeeze your ass. “You were naked in our bed, you really expected me not to fuck the shit out of you?”.

“Stop, you're making me hot again,” you placed your hands on his chest to push him away, receiving a frown from him. In a moment of distraction you grabbed the keys from his hand and took your bag, before giving him one last sweet kiss and go to the door “See you tonight baby, I love you. Be careful okay?”.

“I love you too princess, text me when you can and be careful too. Don't you even dare come back with even a scratch!”.

But unfortunately, things don’t always go the way we want them to.

Your morning was going well, you were on shift with Sylvie who wasted no time teasing you, between calls, about being late that morning.

“If you're jealous because I'm having hot sex and you're not, just say it blondie,” you retorted laughing, getting from your co-worker a little slap on the back of your head as she kept her eyes on the road while driving the ambo.

“You’re really a bitch you know that? Of course I'm jealous! Do you know how long it's been since I've been with someone? I don't even know what a penis looks like anymore.”

You giggled. “If after every shift you literally fly home to go to sleep, don't complain if you can't find anyone. You need to go out Sylvie, Molly's is always crowded, you'll find someone who can't wait to rail you.”

She burst out laughing. “Rail me? Where did this come from?”.

“I mean… You know… I didn't know the meaning of these words before I met my boyfriend…” you answered and Sylvie let out a fake gag while you dreamily recalled your intense sexual life with Jay.

“You are disgusting,” the blonde replied even though she laughed. Before she could add anything though, there was a call of a shooting with victim and the joyful and playful air disappeared almost instantly.

You were about to text Jay, updating him on the progress of your shift but you mentally cursed as you noticed your cell phone was dead and that’s when you remembered you didn't charge it last night.

You put it back in your pocket, mental noting you’d charge it as soon as you got back to the station.

When you and Sylvie arrived with sirens blaring at the scene where the shooting had taken place, you couldn't help but notice the amount of people there looking on curiously and trying to figure out what was going on. That neighborhood was not the most idyllic and safe, given the unfortunate presence of criminals and drug addicts, and you mentally prayed you could finish as soon as possible since you didn't feel at all calm in that place.

A man in his fifties came running towards you, cell phone in hand and a terrified expression on his face.

“What happened sir? Where’s the victim?” Sylvie asked as you fetched the first aid kit bags.

“This way. There's been a shooting… There's a young man… I don't know if he's still alive.”

The man pointed to a person lying on the ground, immersed in his own blood and at a rough guess he didn't seem to be more than 16 years old. He was just a little boy.

“We'll take care of it from now sir. Thank you for calling us. Now go back in your house and stay safe,” you said and he nodded before storming off and locking himself inside his house along with his family.

You put on your gloves and leaned over the victim. You checked his carotid pulse and breathing. “He’s breathing and there is still a pulse. But it's too weak.”

Sylvie lifted the victim's shirt, revealing the shotgun at stomach level, and spun him on his side for a moment. “There is an exit wound.”

“I'm putting an IV,” you stated before taking the necessary kit while Sylvie controlled the bleeding by dabbing the wound with clean gauze which was soaked in blood in no time. After placing the tourniquet, it was difficult to find an accessible vein due to the copious blood loss but eventually you succeeded.

As you continued to do everything in your power to keep the still unconscious patient alive, you didn't realize all passers-by had left and that a suspicious car was approaching until the sound of a shot broke the silence.

Your heart stopped for an instant.

It all happened so fast and in just few seconds that you didn't even realize what was happening.

It was all so fast but so slow at the same time.

Everything seemed to stop around you, the world started spinning fast and slow at the same time which you didn't even believe was possible. The seconds seemed to have turned into minutes, hours, and in you kept wondering when it would end.

You and Sylvie threw yourselves to cover the victim, but not before a bullet went through your arm causing you to scream in pain. “Fuck!” you exclaimed as an excruciating pain made you bend to the ground for an instant.

“Y/N! Oh my god!” exclaimed Sylvie, rushing towards you regardless of the danger. Your hand covered your wound from where blood gushed and you tried to take a few breaths to try to regain control of yourself. You hadn't been shot at before by now, but damn it hurt like hell.

“I'm fine,” you murmured and when you opened your eyes you saw a woman lying on the ground not far from you. “Shit… Sylvie, go to that woman…”

Sylvie glanced between you and the poor woman lying on the asphalt, not sure what to do. “I am fine. Go! I'll take care of it here!”.

She nodded and grabbed a first aid bag before running to the woman, leaving you with the still unconscious victim. You checked him to make sure he wasn't hit and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw he wasn't.

You called for help on your radio before getting up with no small effort, dragging the victim behind a car, thus keeping you sheltered.

Your heart was pounding and you didn't know what to do, the fear they'd come back to kill you paralyzed you. You leaned against the car, bringing your eyes to the wound on your arm and noticing you were losing more blood than you would’ve expected.

“Shit,” you winched in pain even if the adrenaline rushed through your veins. You decided not to think about it and just treat the patient until help arrived, after all you weren't going to die from a shot in an arm.

You got up from the car and approached the patient, noticing the movement of his chest was no longer regular and that he was struggling to breathe. You took your stethoscope and listened to his chest, hearing crackles and a muffled sound in the right lung.

“Damn it,” you whispered to yourself, taking deep breaths as the pain became more intense and trying to focus solely on the victim and not on the excruciating pain you were feeling. The victim had a pneumothorax and you knew if you didn't treat it right away, you ran the risk of losing him before help even arrived.

You took all the kit needed to aspirate the air from his lung but your hand was shaking too much to be able to proceed. “Come on. You can do it,” you kept telling yourself and breathing deeply. With no little effort you managed to make a small incision and insert the small catheter to allow the air to escape. You listened to his lungs again after a bit with the stethoscope and breathed a sigh of relief when you realized the pulmonary sound was good and he was breathing properly. You fixed the catheter to his chest with a plaster and continued to treat the wound on the abdomen.

He was losing too much blood and if he hadn't gone to the hospital immediately he would’ve died there in front of you.

Your forehead was drenched in sweat, your arms and body were giving up as you noticed in the distance Sylvie giving a CPR to the woman who had presumably also been shot.

You heard the sound of sirens of the police and of another ambulance in the distance and for the first time in the last half hour your heart started properly beating again.

Jay, meanwhile, didn't have a clue what was going on, that you'd been shot, rushed to the hospital, or he’d completely lose his mind.

His day, unlike yours, was going on normally and no new cases had turned up so he spent the morning sorting through paperwork and old reports that were still incomplete.

He checked his cell phone to see if you'd answered him but still nothing. The last time he knew about you was when he saw you walk out the door of the apartment you shared and he couldn't stop the veil of anxiety that had passed through him. He knew he was exaggerating, as you were most likely having a busy morning and for this reason you hadn’t reached out to him.

He tried to keep his mind at bay, to stay calm and tell himself everything would be fine, that you were okay and he’d hear from you soon.

But when he saw Sylvie's name on the screen as his cell phone rang, he knew immediately that something wasn’t right and the slight feeling of anxiety was replaced by a real vice in his stomach.

“Sylvie? What happened? Is my girlfriend okay?” he asked as soon as he answered the call, without even giving her time to say anything. He knew something was up and didn’t want to waist time.

“Jay…” she breathed out, her voice clearly shaking but Jay couldn't care less.

“Sylvie tell me immediately what the hell happened. Where’s Y/N? Is she okay?” he ordered in a harsh and hostile tone, more than he ever wanted to.

“We are at Med's and…”

That was all it took for him to go crazy and not understand anything anymore.

Before she could finish her sentence he had already hung up the phone and, without even notifying his boss, he exited the unit at lightning speed, under the gaze of his worried and astonished teammates.

His mind kept repeating the last words spoken by Sylvie and never as in that moment did he feel like the world completely collapsed on him. He hadn't even asked what happened, whether you were okay or not, and as he drove like a madman through the streets of Chicago, he kept praying, praying and praying.

“God please let her be okay,” he kept muttering to himself, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he felt like it was going to stop at any moment. He tried to call you several times but each time it directed him to your voicemail. “Fuck!” he had exclaimed hitting the steering wheel in frustration and after throwing the cell phone on the passenger seat, without caring whether it broke or not.

You had to be okay, it couldn't have been otherwise. You had to be okay because you had to spend the rest of your life with him, he had to marry you, start a family with you, raise your children, maybe have pets, and to do that you had to feel good.

Jay knew that your job, as well as his, could be dangerous, but that didn't make the anxiety any less oppressive, the fear of losing you any less crippling.

It might seem like an exaggeration but he couldn't live without you, he couldn't imagine a life in which you weren't there, he couldn't imagine coming home and not finding you there preparing dinner with so much care and love, he couldn't imagine coming home and not finding you walking barefoot, the music blasting while you danced and sang as you cleaned the house, he couldn't imagine waking up in the morning and not feeling your body against his, the scent of your hair entering his nostrils, your arms holding him preventing him from getting up to go to work when you weren't on shift.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he babbled not wanting to even think about this possibility as he darted through the streets without even bothering to stop at red lights and risking causing accidents at least a couple of times.

When he got to the hospital he immediately ran towards the nurses' station, failing even to realize that Maggie was already talking to a patient.

“Maggie where is Y/N? Is she fine?” he asked frantically getting a glare from the gentleman who was previously talking to Maggie. She shot an apologetic look at the man and nodded to the room you were in before giving her attention back to the patient.

Jay ran towards the room and without even thinking twice pulled the curtain away, an expression of pure fear and concern on his face. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw you were lying on the crib, alive.

“Jay!” you exclaimed, not expecting to find your boyfriend in front of you in the hospital, lifting yourself up as if to reach him.

“Y/N stay still,” Connor admonished you, who was tending your wound.

“Oh thank God,” Jay finally managed to calm down and finally breathe again. He walked over to you and gently grabbed your face with his still trembling hands, leaving a kiss on your forehead. It lasted longer than it should’ve but Jay didn't care, he just wanted to savor the moment, smell the scent of your hair, your skin, and realize you were really there in front of him, that you hadn't left him.

“Halstead, you shouldn't be here,” Connor commented without looking up from the bullet hole in your arm.

“Shut up Rhodes, just focus about treating her,” Jay retorted and the serious tone in which he said it caused both you and Connor to chuckle but as soon as you looked at him you stopped immediately, noticing the expression of pain and concern with which he was looking at you.

“What happened baby? My God…” he stroked your face, your hair, “Why didn't you call me? What did they do to you?”. His eyes moved from your features to your arm and he immediately knew it was a bullet hole. He had assumed that you’d been pushed, maybe fallen somewhere, but he hadn't thought it was a shot at all.

Anxiety and worry were quickly replaced by anger and rage and in that precise moment he promised himself he’d make the bastard who had done this to you, who had dared to hurt you, pay.

“I told Sylvie not to call you…” you started talking, not answering Jay's questions but he cut you off, “Y/N please… I'm mad enough you didn't call me and I had to hear from your colleague you ended up in the hospital, don’t even think about making jokes right now.”

“Sorry Jay, it's just… You were at work and I didn't want to worry you. I'm fine as you can see and Connor will fix me.”

“You're not fine,” Connor intervened, glancing at you before continuing to treat the wound “If you hadn't continued to treat the victim your arm wouldn't be in so bad shape, the bullet had gone too deep. But luckily I'm very good at my job.”

If looks could kill, you should’ve been petrified after Jay's glare.

“Connor, you really don't know when to shut your mouth, do you?”.

“Y/N,” Jay spoke up “I'm not playing and I'm about to lose my mind. Tell me what the hell happened.”

You sighed, looking down at your belly as you recalled those moments of terror that seemed to have happened not long ago but at the same time, so long ago.

Jay noticed the way your free hand was shaking slightly and he felt guilty for raising his voice after the traumatic event you had suffered earlier that morning. “Sorry baby,” he said, caressing your cheeks and then giving you another soft kiss on your forehead. He held you as best he could, your head level with his stomach as he continued to stroke your hair, your cheeks, trying to calm you down. It was his way of saying he was there, that you were safe and never like then did you mentally thank Sylvie for calling him.

“It’s okay, I’m here now. Everything will be okay baby.”

God only knew how terrified you were, how afraid you were of dying, never seeing the love of your life again, never hugging him again and feeling him holding you, cradling and caressing you… Shit, this was one of the best feelings you ever had the pleasure of trying in your life.

You kept thinking over and over of those scary moments, the sound of those gunshots you knew would echo in your mind for far too long. No manual, no course would’ve ever prepared you for all this, you knew that being a paramedic would’ve taken you to places where danger was around the corner, but the adrenaline, the fear, that terror… No one would’ve ever been able to preparing for this.

You didn't even realize Connor had finished bandaging your wound until you saw with the corner of your eye he was getting up and collecting all the dirty gauze and other tools he had used. “I can't stress enough about the fact you don't have to exert yourself. You have to rest for at least a week, after that you can do some office work, but no work on the field until you’ll be able to move your arm.”

“Trust me she won’t. Thanks Rhodes,” Jay replied and Connor gave him a smile, then patted him on the shoulder with an ungloved hand.

“I'll leave you two alone.”

You tried to move you arm a bit but it was still numb from the local anesthetic. Jay sat on the edge of the bed, taking your free hand and intertwining his fingers with yours as his thumb stroked your back.

“You made me worry to death you know? I think I've died and risen a thousand times in the last hour.” He was the one who spoke first, but his tone was soft and reassuring. His free hand stroked your face, tucking a strand of hair that had escaped your ponytail, behind your ear.

“I'm so sorry Jay,” you mumbled back, feeling awfully guilty to see him like this, features contracted up with concern, eyes shining.

“You don't have to apologize, I'm just so happy you're okay,” he hugged you and you returned that hug, with your free arm. “God Y/N, I wouldn't have known what to do without you. I've never been so scared as today...” he kept talking “Don't ever do this to me again.”

“I was so scared Jay… I…” you stammered, trying to swallow the lump in your throat “I thought I'd never see you again…”

“Shh, it's okay. I'm here now and you're safe, I won't let anyone hurt you anymore,” he tried to calm you down even if he was feeling a storm inside. He was angry, furious, because he wasn't there to protect you, because if he had the person responsible in his hands he would’ve killed them with his bare hands, because he hated seeing you like that, scared, trembling in his arms. And he wanted to cry, cry so hard, because the fear he'd had of losing you was paralyzing.

Jay had never been in a situation where he’d even think you weren't next to him. To him it was like you were a superhero, immortal, that one way or another you'd always come back to him and he had taking all of this for granted. Reality had hit him full blown and left him breathless, making him lose the ground under his feet, the world collapsing around him and made him understand it wasn't like this, that fate was sometimes a bastard and that only event made him realize how important you were to him. Maybe even more than he could have ever imagined.

How much he loved you, for goodness sake, it was overwhelming. You were his whole world, and however absurd, ridiculous, cheesy, or over the top that might seem, Jay really couldn't live without you. It was a phrase he had told you so many times but in that particular absurd event it took on an even deeper and more real meaning and he really, really couldn't exist in a world where you weren't by his side.

And he didn't care how cheesy any of that sounded, it was the plain, simple, unequivocal truth.

“Baby you're choking me,” you muttered as he began to hold you so tight it literally blocked your breath. Your voice brought him back to reality, “Shit. Sorry, baby I didn't realize it,” he said giving you a kiss on the lips and you smiled at him, “It's okay.”

“Are you okay? Do you need something?”.

You shook your head, your lids suddenly feeling heavy. “No, just some rest.”

Jay smiled sweetly, looking at you with so much love and affection. “I know baby, I know. As soon as they prepare the discharge documents, I'll take you home and you can rest as long as you want.”

You nodded and the tender expression on your face made his heart explode. Had he already said how much he fucking loved you? “You'll stay with me right? I need you.”

“Do you really think I would’ve left you alone knowing what you've been through? I'll take the rest of the day off and, since I have a lot of accumulated vacation days, I’ll take the next few weeks as well.”

You smiled faintly. You didn’t want him to not go to work and felt selfish but God, you needed him so badly so you didn’t even complain. “Thank you love.”

“Do you feel like telling me what happened?” Jay asked, now impatient. You told him everything from how you were treating the victim, to the shooting and until help arrived. It goes without saying how furious Jay was when you finished speaking and how he looked ready to smash something against the walls.

“It's over baby, I'm really fine now, luckily they hit me on the arm and not elsewhere where it could’ve been so much worse. I'll get better soon, you know how these things go,” you tried to reassure him, placing your hand on his face and stroking his skin, a gesture that made him relax a little. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad Y/N, I’m furious. You are the most precious thing in my life and I’d kill anyone for even touch a strand of your hair in the wrong way. Knowing you were there alone, that you couldn't defend yourself, someone dared to hurt you… I can’t even explain the rage I’m feeling right now,” he replied, the tone of low voice as your words kept echoing in his mind. “I'm so sorry my baby,” he caressed your face “My precious princess. I’m so sorry for not being there and failing to protect you. It shouldn't have happened, especially not to you. If something…”

“No love no,” you interrupted him, not letting him finish that sentence “Let's not think about that. I'm here now, you're here with me and that's all that matters, okay?”.

“I know, I know,” he replied. But they’ll still have to pay for what they did to you.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @ixna-mikaelsn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutlOver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @baby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @wickedlovely121

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Pressing his lips together, he kept down a chuckle at one of your well thought out jokes and put his phone down, promising to call you on his way home. Just as he was going to sign off all his paperwork before signing off for the night, Jay became aware of the conversation everyone was participating in besides him.

"We can skate but she wants professionalism." Kim stressed, leaning back on her chair as she talked about who Jay guessed was Makayla. "She straight up told us no when I offered to teach her myself."

"You did tell her that Jordan is pretty good, right?" Kevin asked, looking at his best friend questiongly before looking back to his monitor.

"We tried that Kev." Adam answered for Kim, pushing his chair back to his own desk. "She needs to see him on the ice first."

Jay felt like he would regret his actions but deep down, he adored Kim and Adam's daughter. Maybe you wouldn't shout at him if it was for Makayla's sake.

"You said she wants a professional skater?" Jay asked, finally stepping into the conversation. Turning around in his chair, he found it funny how everyone looked at him with the same question hanging on the tips of their tongues.

"Yeah..." Kim trailed, going to ask him something but was cut off.

"We've got the day off tomorrow, I know someone if you're willing." Jay discreetly offered, shrugging his shoulders as though nothing was suspicious about how vague he was being.

Kim and Adam shared a glance, having a silent conversation with their eyes before shrugging. "Sure, why not. Send me the address of the rink?"

"You got it."

*****

When Jay came home yesterday night with that stupid sheepish smile on his face, the first thing you felt was fear. You still felt it now along with a newfound nervousness.

Skating had been your livelihood, your blood ever since you could walk. Skating was more familiar to you than some common knowledge but you would never complain.

It was actually skating that brought you and Jay together in the first place.

You met him after practice and bumped into him on your way to the gym. Hitting it off was easy and it was smooth sailing from there.

You never questioned why Jay's friends and co-workers were still unaware of your existence, especially when he had to deal with your past.

You loved skating more than a lot of things so it confused you as to why you were so nervous.

"Y/N, why are you so nervous?" Jay asked you, leaning forward against the guard rails. He refused to get on the ice and insisted on watching from afar. He could see your tells: fidgeting with the end of your sleeve, spinning in circles and refusing to stay still.

"What if I'm not up to her standards?" You asked, gently pushing yourself towards him, letting him take your hands in his before you wore a hole into your shirt sleeve.

"Are you kidding? She'll love you." Jay huffed with a smile at the thought of someone not being impressed by you. "Ruzeks probably expecting some skater I knew back in the days who owed me a favour."

You rose a brow, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes, I owe you one."

Before you could voice or show him your appreciation for his short words, you were stopped by the doors opening and a small group of four entering. You didn't recognise them but Jay definitely did.

"Yo Jay! What's up?" Kevin waved at his friend, Jordan at his side. You both knew of the Atwater brothers joining you which you had no problem with.

"Hey guys, hey Makayla." Jay greeted, doing a 'man hug' and spudding the young girl who eagerly smiled at him.

"This is my girlfriend Y/N." Jay introduced you to his friends. He reached out to you, pulling you closer even though he was on dry land and you on ice.

As soon as your name left his lips, all four heads snapped in your direction, mouths agape and eyes wide in shock. You secretly hoped they wouldn't know who you were but it made sense if they were into skating.

"Y/N Y/L/N. Jay managed to snag Y/N?" Adam asked himself, astonished as to how you two were even dating and how no one ever knew you guys were dating.

You sheepishly smiled, shaking hands with each of them, even Makayla who was frozen.

It was as if you were a celebrity who worked in Hollywood the way she looked up you; her eyes shining in adoration and the brightest smile spreading, her dimples really popping out.

"Hi Makayla." You knowingly smiled at the girl, holding out your hand to shake hers over the barrier. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Glitter was practically sparkling in her eyes as her mouth remained agape at the face she had only ever seen on the tv screen at home. Her dreams were all of a sudden coming true and she found herself struggling to compute.

Adam gently nudged her with his hand on her shoulder, prompting her to return your handshake which she rapidly did once she was shaken out of her stupor.

"You- you're Y/N Y/L/N." She stated the obvious, hand still shaking yours unknowingly.

"That's me." You nodded, gently releasing her hand and going forth to shake the three mens hands.

"I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself to your boyfriends colleagues. "You guys skating with us or no?"

Adam reluctantly shook his head as if ashamed. "Nah, only Jordan and Makayla are skating."

"That's great." You smiled, pushing yourself away from the barrier. "Get your skates on and we can start straight away. Show me what you got."

And with that, Makayla wasted no time in sitting down and getting her skates on, all the men surrounding her laughing at her hastiness.

*****

Jay's eyes were burning from how long and hard he'd been staring at the investigation board. The words were merging together and he could no longer recognise the faces as they all became one big blur.

He desperately needed sleep after being up all night, being called onto a scene just at the two of you got under the covers. It was now midday on a Saturday and everyone just began pouring in once Jay called them all that this was starting to become something serious.

Deciding to rest his eyes for a mere second to reduce the incessant twitching, he internally groaned when he heard the familiar sound of mixed laughter getting louder as they approached the bullpen.

"Oh, you look like hell Jay." Adam said, deciding to go straight for the jugular as he shrugged off his jacket.

"What's up dude? Looks like you've been through it." Kevin said with a bit more empathy, lightly patting the back of his shoulder as a sort of greeting before going towards his own desk.

Before Jay could respond with the most snarkiest remark anyone has ever heard in their life, he was rudely cut off by Kim whose face suddenly brightened, making him physically wince.

"Jay, why did you never tell us you had an Olympic gold medalist girlfriend?"

The bullpen was filled with pin drop silence.

"You have a girl? No way, since when?" Antonio said jokingly, smirking as he riled up the younger detective. "And an athlete? Never thought you had it in you."

"Hmm, thanks a lot Tonio." Jay rolled his eyes, blinking rapidly as he stood up and stretched his arms. "That actually reminds me..."

The officers and detective watch the green eyed man fumble with his wallet and pull out several bills, accidentally slamming it down with way too much force on Adam's desk.

"Y/N refuses your payment and insists all of the skating lessons are free." Jay said, shrugging his shoulders at the confused faces of Makayla's parents. "She also said something about sponsorship and coaching but I can't remember."

"It's official Jay." Adam said with the most serious face ever, begrudgingly taking and putting the money back into his own wallet.

Jay whispered amused in your ear and wrapping his arm around your shoulders when he turned his gaze to you and noticed you were about to fall asleep.

“Not at all, I don't even know why I let myself be convinced to come here,” you whispered back. His lips left a small kiss on the corner of your jaw, a shiver running down your spine. “Do you like it?“.

“Actually I'm not even following it, I'm too busy watching you,” he replied and you thanked the darkness that hid the blush that was spreading on your cheeks. “And I know for a fact you're blushing right now and it's driving me crazy,” he kept whispering, brushing his lips with your ears, an action that sent goosebumps all over your body.

“Jay, stop it,” you said with a mock tone of disappointment, but at the same time placing a hand on his thigh, a completely innocent gesture but which made Jay's senses instantly awaken. His hand squeezed lightly on your shoulder.

After all you weren't the only one who was so affected by him, even after being together for so long. Your hand began to caress his thigh in a completely innocent way, the fabric of his rough pants in contact with the palm of your hand, your eyes fixed on the big screen even if your attention was totally focused on Jay.

“Y/N…” he whispered your name in warning, squeezing your shoulder further “Behave.”

“You started it baby,” you kissed his cheek. Your hand moved further up his thigh and a mischievous grin crept onto your lips as you felt him tense under your touch. Jay lifted his hips, as if to change position and settle himself better. “Baby stop it, you don't know what you're doing”.

You chuckled as you guided your hand to his groin before removing it, returning it to your lap. “Are you happy now?”.

“I have a fucking boner right now, you tell me if I'm happy,” his lips brushed your ears again and the thought of his hard dick forced you to squeeze your legs, “Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?”.

You turned your head towards him and you dropped your gaze on the crotch of his pants that even in the dim light of the cinema you could distinguish its prominence, making you bite your lip in anticipation. You brought your eyes back to Jay, alternating them between yours and his mouth, which you so desired on you at that moment.

“And stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” you whispered, feeling bewitched by his closeness, wanting nothing more than to be alone with him. Just the way he looked at you, how he whispered simple things in your ear but made it sound so sinful, was enough to rekindle the desire in you.

“Like you want me to fuck you right now.”

“Maybe I want you to fuck me right now.”

This short but devastating sentence made Jay lose all the strength and control he had is his body. If he hadn't risked a public indecency complaint – which for a police officer wouldn't have been ideal – he would’ve ripped all your clothes off you without even letting you realize it. You've been together for years now but what would never change was the desire to possess you constantly, always, every minute of the day. Although by now he knew every inch of your body and you knew him, that didn't change how he only needed a languid gaze from you, a dirty word whispered in his ear to get him all bricked up like never before.

“That’s it. It's time to leave, I don't think I can resist you for another minute.”

You didn't have to make him repeat himself twice. You were already on your feet, your fingers intertwined with his as you sneaked out of the theater as anonymously as possible. Luckily you were sitting in the last row of the room so you managed to sneak out without attracting attention and bother those who were still watching the film. Jay kept whispering dirty words to you as you walked out of the theater, making you giggle and laugh like a 17-year-old.

As soon as you climbed into his truck, Jay placed a hand behind your neck and pulled you into a kiss that completely took your breath away. His tongue immediately slipped into your mouth, owning every inch of it and trying to vent the frustration he felt. The position of your hand simulated his, as if trying to draw him as close to you as possible. Jay always had this effect on you, he could make that fire explode inside you with just a kiss, make you forget everything, lose your mind.

Jay's hand went down your body, until it reached your side which he squeezed tightly. One minute you were in the passenger seat, the next you were on his lap, totally lost in each other, as if the world around you had disappeared.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you devoured each other, your hips rocking on his hard dick in an attempt to find some relief. You gasped during the kiss, while his hands squeezed, groped, touched your ass and every part of your body he could reach.

“Jay…” you moaned his name, his eyes narrowing as his lips began their delicious torture on your neck, biting, licking, sucking your skin.

“You have no idea what you do to me when you say my name like that,” he whispered against your skin “I want you so bad baby fuck,” his hands traveled up your thighs, lifting your dress and rolling it up over yours hips and leaving your ass exposed.

Pleasure flowed freely through your veins but although your mind was foggy and you too wanted him with every fiber of your being, that shred of rationality left made you freeze. You placed your hands on his chest, placing some distance between you and him.

Jay immediately noticed the uncertain expression painted on your face, admiring at the same time your red cheeks, your lips swollen and rosy due to your impetuous kisses, your hair slightly tousled. God, you were so beautiful.

“What is it baby? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?“ he asked you with a veil of concern while his hands continued to be on your ass, but this time only sweetly stroking it.

You looked around, slightly anxious. Your eyes scanned the parking lot and although there weren't many cars and it was dark – just four your eyes counted quickly – you couldn't help but feel a little anxious at the thought of having sex in a car and that anyone could drive by and see you.

You brought your eyes back to Jay, a flurry of butterflies in your stomach when you noticed the way he was looking at you. His green eyes shone like two comets in the darkest sky and they looked at you with so much love, so much intensity it was enough to calm you down.

There was no need for you to speak, he had immediately understood the reason for your hesitation. “It's okay honey, we can go home if you want,” he spoke, lifting his hand and placing it on your cheek, caressing it with love and delicacy.

“Well… God baby, I don't want to go home, I want you so much, I want you here and now but… What if someone sees us?”.

He lifted his lips in a smile and his response was hidden in the kiss he gave you after he pulled you back to him. “You know how jealous I am of you baby, I would never let anyone look at you while I'm fucking you. Do you really think I would let anyone watch you?” he whispered, his lips brushing yours as his fingers tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

Your breath caught in your throat, your stomach tightened in a vice as you clenched your pussy from just the way he spoke to you. That man drove you crazy and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“You're safe with me baby, I wouldn't do anything that could harm you, and moreover if it can make you feel more calm, the windows are tinted, no one can see us from outside,” he kissed the hollow of your neck, then returning his gaze to you and continuing to speak, “That look of pure ecstasy on your face while I fuck you, when you come for me, that face is mine, it's only for me. I'm the only motherfucker allowed to look at you, to see you naked while you come on my dick okay?” he kissed you softly, this gesture in stark contrast to his dirty words, almost rude. But you liked it, God if you liked it.

At that point every shred of rationality flew away from the car, along with it every doubt and thought that accompanied it.

You kissed him, wasting no time and slipping your tongue into his mouth. He immediately returned that kiss, making his hands wander over your body again and finally over your breasts covered by your dress.

“God baby you make me so horny when you 're possessive, it's so fucking hot,” you muttered into his lips, biting and licking his bottom lip. Jay moaned, holding you close almost as if he wanted you to become one.

You continued to kiss as if your life depended on it as your hands roamed over every patch of skin you could reach, wanting nothing more than to tear each other's clothes off. Your fingers fumbled with the zip on his pants while Jay's with the one on your dress, sliding the sleeves down your arms and exposing your breasts.

“So what you wanna do baby?” he asked and you continued to unbutton his pants in response. He lifted his pelvis slightly to allow you to lower them enough to be able to release his almost painful erection.

“I want you to fuck me and watch me come all over your dick.”

“Holy shit… Fuck yes baby,” he moaned, leaning his head back on the headboard of the seat as your hand wrapped around the shaft of his dick, relieving some of the pressure and desire he felt so intensely.

“Yes love, moan for me, you like when I touch you like this hmm?” you slowed down the pace, raising and lowering your hand with excruciating slowness, almost torturing him.

“Yes, yes, yes, you make me feel so fucking good...” he breathed out immediately pulling you into a kiss. He continued to moan into your mouth and you, on the other hand, couldn't hide how good it made you feel to know you were the cause of his state, that it was you who made him lose his mind even by just touching him.

Jay moved your panties to the side and you nearly passed out when he started touching your pussy. His dick jerked at just sensing how wet you were for him.

“Fuck baby you're so wet for me…” he murmured smugly, his fingers in and out of you as your hand continued pumping up and down his dick. “I need to be inside you I can't wait any longer…”

Your thumb drew imaginary circles on his pink tip, smearing the drops of pre-cum that leaked from it. “Yes, yes, please… I want you so bad.”

Jay could almost sense your need and that's why he kept teasing you, making his tip rub against your entrance and making you squirm under his touch. “Jay please…” you whined, your arms around his neck, your lips so close you could swallow each other's breath.

“What baby? What do you want?”.

“You. Inside me. Please baby I need it so much,” you replied in the most seductive tone you were capable of, and from the way he bit his lip you deduced you totally succeeded.

“Is my little girl so horny for me?” he kissed you, licking your neck and sucking your skin “She wants it so much right? Do you want me to fuck you in this dirty parking lot? Do you want to ride me baby?”.

Your insides clenched in anticipation as he slowly penetrated you before pulling out, making you whine. “Yes fuck yes, I want it so much baby please, give it to me. Do you want to fuck me?”.

With your hand you grabbed his dick, giving him some pumps and making Jay gasp and sigh before lifting your hips slightly, pushing your briefs aside and directing him near your pussy. You threw your head back and you both let out a guttural moan as you let him penetrate you and filling the void and need you felt.

“Fuck, fuck, Jesus Christ baby… It feels so good to be inside you, feeling your pussy so wet around my dick…”

You started moving slowly, up and down, rotating your hips and finding the right angle where you could touch that magical point inside you.

The temperature increased by a few degrees in that truck as well as the fire inside you, which continued to inflame every single corner of your body, making it impossible for you to think coherently or think about anything else than Jay.

The sounds of your moans and your sighs mixed with Jay’s, becoming a single melody that sounded like the sweetest you ever heard.

You loved hearing him moan like that, feeling him gasping against your skin as he kissed you and his dick kept thrusting in and out of you.

Jay slapped your ass, his dick twitching as the walls of your pussy clenched around him in response to that gesture. God what a vision you were, you were celestial, the most beautiful of creatures, the most wonderful of angels. How much he loved the features of your face, so sweet and innocent even when you were doing the most sinful of actions, how he loved the way your lips were parted as you moaned his name, how much he loved you.

“Fuck baby you destroy me,” he whispered against your lips, as you exchanged sultry, sinful and sloppy kisses. “Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? Oh yes holy shit… Ride my dick like that, you look so beautiful…”

The ache in your legs was starting to be felt but nevertheless that burning took a back seat, too taken by the pleasure that Jay was giving you.

“Oh god love yes fuck, yes… Your dick feels so fucking good…” you moaned, placing your hands on his shoulders to give you support “Do you like fucking me like this baby? You want to fill me up?”.

Jay couldn't explain how you made him feel, what triggered inside him to hear you talk dirty to him like that. He accompanied your movements, increasing thrusts and making you feel his dick in every damn corner of your pussy. The truck’s windows were almost completely fogged up but on the one next to the driver seat, the imprint of your hand materialized when you leaned on it, as if to find some kind of support.

A thin layer of sweat covered your bodies as you continued to have sex, totally lost in each other. It didn't matter how many times you did it, each time was almost better than the last. You and Jay had a busy sex life, even after so many years together, and even though you knew each other's bodies by now, sex wasn’t any less exciting, indeed, both of you were insatiable.

“Fuck baby oh yes…” he loudly moaned setting every cell in your body on fire. You smirked when one of the hand that was on your ass, circled your throat. He pulled you into his face, sticking his tongue in your mouth and kissing you like you were the dirtiest of whores. “My princess is so dirty isn't she? She likes it when she rides me in the car doesn't she? Do you like knowing that someone could find out about us at any moment? See how you make me lose my goddamn mind? Ah yes fuck… Ride me like that…” he kept whispering to you and you pressed your nails into the fabric of his shirt, wanting nothing more than to rip it off him.

“My God Jay you drive me crazy…” you could barely murmur on his lips. God, what a fantastic mess you were. You were one of moans, gasps, hands, saliva, bites, lips. “I'm… I'm coming…” you continued feeling that familiar pressure building in your lower abdomen.

“Oh yeah baby come for me…” he groaned “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm coming too oh yes…”

It didn't take long for the orgasm to overwhelm you, momentarily forcing your soul out of your body. Your orgasm triggered Jay’s who poured his cum inside you, filling you up to the last drop.

You collapsed on his chest exhausted and out of breath, your chest heaving and your legs aching as if you'd run a marathon. Your body was still in spasms and a shiver ran up your spine. Jay hugged you, even though he was dead tired too.

“God baby you wear me out…” he murmured with his eyes closed, his voice so low he wasn't even sure you heard him. He left a kiss on your messy hair after which a small smile was born on your lips.

You too, like him, were resting your eyes, your head resting on his chest while you cradled yourself with his breaths and his still accelerated heartbeat.

“I love you so much,” you murmured tired and he hugged you closer, then placing a hand on your face and stroking your hot cheeks. He rested his fingers on your chin, forcing you to lift your head to look at him and pressed his lips to yours in a sweet and innocent kiss, in stark contrast to the ones you had exchanged up to that moment. “I love you so much more,” he whispered as his eyes gazed at the features of your face, as if to imprint them in his memory “Gorgeous… So damn beautiful.”

“Stop, I know I look a mess now,” you giggled.

“Baby don't even say this bullshit. I would fuck you again right this second if it was physiologically possible for me. You are always breathtaking.”

You laughed and kissed him again. “Oh, you’re so romantic baby.”

“You weren’t complaining a minute ago though,” he replied with a cheeky smile “How about we go home honey?”.

You nodded and with no small difficulty returned to the passenger seat, your legs still numb. Jay took a tissue and helped you clean up. “Goddamn baby, it drives me crazy see your pussy dripping with my cum,” he breathed out, his gaze fixed on you private parts, “Can I fuck you again when we go home?”.

And who were you to say no?

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan

Jay Halstead tag list: @burgstead, @bebataylor84, @ares-kelani-wayne, @lxna-mikaelsxn, @sande5098, @smoothdogsgirl, @withakindheartx, @jess2013, @maddu-oliveira, @lovemesomepietro, @onechicagodrawings, @jinxfan18, @ready-hit-it, @rainroo2, @tinfoilhat2719, @hehurst23, @upsteadlovingheart, @secondaryjob, @nevaehstreater18, @sophiatellerrhodes, @dedlund82, @kellykidd, @rippl3s, @stephanie708, @annahargrove, @smutl0ver, @kuroe-san, @caroldanverwife, @cbaby, @nosy09, @luvreading67, @danielmarie, @saiyuo12, @nachodaze, @waywardhunter95, @fighterkimburgess, @ephemeral314, @mads-weasley, @itskellysev, @lovemedlife, @atarmychick007, @amazedbyitall, @glodessa, @xeleni-dutchnurse, @ossypooh, @itriedtoexplain, @randomwriter1021, @averyhotchner, @ellavanderberg, @mrshalsteadxx, @junevoidzombie, @nocturnalherb16, @croissantthief, @jayhalsteadsbadge, @youngblood199456, @dreamss-wavess, @halsteadloversworld, @laaaauuraaaaa, @firerusher, @itserickalove, @23victoria, @slytherlight, @goingwiththewind, @notanordinaryprincess95, @mel0809, @cadyfanninger, @acewritesfics, @iloveest, @instantpizzacat, @wickedlovely121

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