Whoopsie Gravy!

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

"like a boss" by lonely island was released ten thousand years ago when mammoths still roamed the big wide world. feel old yet?

seeing girls faces after i lift them into my arms and hearing them say no one’s done that before makes hitting the gym so worth it. i wanna make every single girl over 6 ft tall feel like a precious little princess because you all are. i love you. i do all of this for you.