1000x1000
inspired by ABSOLUTE PEAM on twitter
almost home

oozey mess

ellievsbear
NASA
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
RMH

blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document

#extradirty
$LAYYYTER

we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
Cosimo Galluzzi

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@mekchu
1000x1000
inspired by ABSOLUTE PEAM on twitter

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idk if i’m mischaracterizing them because i’m larping genshin and i’m only going based off of what my friends told me abt the story
they need to kiss
“I would die for you” ❌
“I would k!ll for you” ❌
“I would be kind for you. I would reject the impulses to indulge in my violent nature for you.
I would brew the very elixir of immortality, neglecting the decay of my own flesh just to ensure yours remains untouched by time.
I would rush to your side at a mere whisper, eager to mend whatever fragile piece of you has broken.
I would tear out your failing lungs and replace it with a new ones, simply so you could ruin them all over again with those expensive cigarettes you love so much.
I would hold you so tightly until you felt at peace if the gods refuse to grant you.
If I succeed in creating a new world, i’ll also consider to create one or even more just so you can be worshipped.
I can be strong if I have to. I can fight if it is truly necessary. But when I think of the way that I love you, it does not make me feel violent.
It makes me feel quiet. And gentle. And calm.
When I look at you, I know I am not a mad scientist. I am merely a man stripped of his monstrosity, willingly undone by the simple gravity of your existence.” ✅
significantly i don't think shane would be sneaking mangoes on the reg because even if the reaction isn't severe, it is one element of his physical state that isn't Peak Performance, which I don't think he would find acceptable during the season
I do think (and am charmed by) the idea that end of season/contracts/photoshoots is Mango Time
literally waits ALL year to have his delicious, delicious forbidden treat
and I'm also cracking up imagining 19 year old shane starting this tradition at the end of his first season, in his own home, and doing Youthful Rebellion by having mangoes because his parents aren't there to stop him
The Voyageurs get knocked out of the playoffs, and someone's like "Let's all go out tomorrow to drown our sorrows."
Shane, actively setting his GPS to the nearest supermarket as he's leaving the locker room: "Sorry, I can't make it tomorrow."
Hayden: "... Mango day?"
Shane, nodding gravely: "Mango day."
AW WAIT I LOVE HAYDEN KNOWING ABOUT MANGO DAY
it's like their second year of being friends, and hayden comes over because they're going to go for a run, and he opens the fridge to get some water and sees a COMICALLY large bowl of mangoes in there and is uuuh?? buddy?? you doing a new diet of just mangoes? and he is TOTALLY playful about it. it's just such a funny number of mangoes to see together.
and shane like. understands this is probably a non-normal way of celebrating the end of the season. he knows he's probably going to get chirped about this, and after a lifetime of being the odd man out at lunch tables and birthday cupcake sharing, he knows what's coming. so he explains that he's a little allergic (not dangerously but like. needs to take some allegra and also just be a little itchy for a couple of days) and yeah it's weird and he knows but-
and hayden does laugh, but he's also just, "you know what man? hell yeah." because shane is so controlled and restrictive of himself so he can play the best hockey possible during the season, so if the man wants to have some itchy mangoes to celebrate a job well done at the end of the season, then hell yeah. live it up, man.

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censorship in it’s prime.. hoyo were so clever about it
Adult Shane still not always being sure whether he's having an allergic reaction or a panic attack... like breathing bad, limbs tingly, feels like he's dying... but is he actually
i have a very special scenario in my head of shane who is used to feeling like this and finding a quiet place to assess what tf is happening to him rn so he can decide if cold water on his face or hospital.
(not even considering the fact that hiding away while potentially having a life-threatening allergic response is an AWFUL move).
and i am especially endeared by the idea of it going from him going off and doing this by himself to ilya clocking him leaving the room in a way that says Not Okay and following him and the two of them in just a quiet little pocket of space together, with shane having already handed over his auvi-q (the version of an epipen that fits in a suit pocket) just in case.
just very sweet to imagine that this is still scary and frustrating to have to deal with and tbh? still feels a little embarassing even if he knows it shouldn't, but it is also nice that there's someone with him who just Gets It and who will sit quietly with him until he can decide what's happening and help him if he needs it.
OH MAN in vegas, ilya canonically was freaking out ahead of time in anticipation of seeing shane again, so i posit that he was denying that he was freaking the fuck out and was trying to lie to himself and say it was just low blood sugar, so he grabbed something from craft services backstage.
and it's fucking. peanut butter crackers.
and he chews some mint gum in another attempt to settle himself so shane doesn't end up smelling it on him, but him kissing shane in the vegas bathroom then means contact with it, and shane's reaction wasn't from exposure earlier, bUT IT IS NOW.
THIRD OPTION: EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE TIME TO PURSUE FINGER SUCKING AFTER ILYA WAS PICKING AT THINGS DURING THE WAIT FOR SHANE TO SHOW UP AT THE PENTHOUSE BUT ALSO DRINKING VODKA SO SHANE DOESN'T SMELL IT ON HIS BREATH
STILL NO KISSING DURING THE PENTHOUSE FUCKING, BUT THANKS TO THE POWER OF ALLERGENS ON THE FINGERS SHANE SO HAPPILY TAKES INTO HIS MOUTH, THESE MOTHERFUCKERS NOW GET TO EXPERIENCE DOMDROP, SUBDROP, AND ANAPHYLAXIS ALL AT THE SAME TIME
GOD the panic and angst of shane trying to communicate what's happening and get ilya to grab his epipen out of his inner jacket pocket (assuming he even has it on him by some fucking miracle) and ilya at first thinking this is just a bad panic attack because that's the only guess he would have based on past experience with shane, and he's trying to do the same move of kissing him to calm him down, but shane already can't breathe right and also doesn't know WHAT the contaminant was so doesn't want to risk more contact
but now ilya thinks it was him being too rough or missing a signal that shane wanted to stop and being HORRIFIED at the idea and immediately backing away, but shane reaches for him both because he is experiencing impending doom as an element of the reaction and also REALLY needs ilya to get his epipen for him and him trying to back across the room is NOT HELPFUL FOR THAT GET BACK HERE
god AND!!! ilya can't ghost him after!!! he straight up experienced hollander almost dying in front of him so 1. needs to know what the FUCK that was 2. needs to know the next day when hollander is stable and okay again because otherwise he isn't going to be able to fucking FUNCTION 3. can't help but keep in touch after that more often than he might otherwise because that scared the FUCK out of him, and while yes, it would be easier to just call it right now before anything else happens, he also can't resist the little check-ins now and then during that summer
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS MOM
AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS PROBABLY SO EXTREMELY ON HIS MIND GIVEN HOW CLOSE HE IS TO GOING BACK FOR THE SUMMER AND THE MEMORIES THAT WOULD HAVE ALREADY DREDGED UP
jesus, we really put these two in the Bad Blender and hit PUREE
oh my god WAIT
ilya who remembers when the responders who came to the house took his mother away, and he never saw her again, and it's totally irrational, but he manages to get shane's epipen and help shane use it, and then he helps shane get dressed so he can get to a more neutral area before he calls for an ambulance, and he's SUPPOSED to leave. he's going to leave. it's just going to cause some uncomfortable ass questions if he doesn't leave and has to come up with a story about why he was with hollander and why he's with him now and why he still hasn't let go of him even though he has him back in his room now.
and yet.
again: IRRATIONAL. he KNOWS it's irrational. but there's a part of him that's still thinking, "if i let them take hollander away right now, then i will never see him again." because he's BEEN HERE before. and it doesn't make sense, but trauma and fear NEVER do.
so ilya ends up going with him.
and listen. shane atp?? nauseous, still can't fully breathe right, still not fully present. in his right mind, he'd be sending ilya the FUCK away because embarassing and also doesn't want questions. but in this moment?? can't feel anything but relief when he climbs in the ambulance with him to ride along because he's at least someone familiar in the middle of all of this.
and then at the hospital, they get shane stable and ilya should go. he should totally go. he knows he should go.
and yet he doesn't. he's already here. there's already going to be questions. it's a little bit reckless and a little bit fuck it, but the damage is already done. might as well stick around until he can be sure that shane is actually okay. it's not like he's going to sleep tonight after this because jesus FUCK.
and texts keep coming through on shane's phone, but shane is sleeping, and ilya keeps seeing "Mom" and "Dad" pop up over and over and over because obviously the hospital contacted them. and ilya KNOWS he shouldn't answer. but shane can't do it right now, and there's parents worrying about him, and won't it just stress him out if he wakes up to thirty phonecalls-
and on call number thirteen from Mom, he picks the phone up and answers.
and yeah yuna is confused as FUCK why ILYA FUCKING ROZANOV is answering her son's phone after she got a call that shane had been admitted to a hospital because of an allergic reaction, but she also doesn't have a lot of other fucking options for getting updates on her baby, so fine. talking to this cocky ass kid it is.
except...he doesn't sound cocky? he actually sounds...almost sweet? he's answering questions as best he can and even tries to read some stuff in the notes the doctor left guided by what yuna tells him to look for. and she's on her way to the airport right now to get there and asks ilya to tell shane that she'll be there as fast as she can because he hates being in the hospital by himself, and in a moment of TOTAL fucking impulse ilya says he'll wait.
and he does.
the first time yuna and ilya meet face to face outside of that first elevator scene is when yuna finds him by her son's bed in the hospital keeping him company so he wouldn't have to be alone.
and maybe he's not such an ass after all.

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cackling about the idea of shane and ilya getting separated on the bench from time to time and the public thinks "oooh, trouble in paradise? the rivalry rearing its head again?? hollander getting fed up with rozanov??"
and the truth is that the team was playing against someone ilya and/or shane ESPECIALLY hates, which means shane was dropping the most vicious, lethal reads known to man and making ilya crack tf up to the point that they were attracting attention and the coach was just afraid of someone reading lips and getting them all in trouble
and signficantly, the three person buffer between them just keeps shane from SAYING his comments
he and ilya are still leaning forward and backward to look at each other and exchange "mhm" "mhm" looks that still make it clear they're still communicating their thoughts perfectly fine
just watched an interview with james ortiz (rocky’s puppeteer) where he’s like “they were torturing ryan gosling for this movie. it was killing him. he was developing isolation sickness in real life from being the only actor on set for 6 months. i needed to be there for him even when rocky wasn’t in frame to serve as his guiding light and the sole thread tethering him to the concept of love. i was kneeling at the altar” and what
and then in ryan goslings interviews he’s like “i was struggling in the depths of hell. until a beautiful puppeteer angel lifted me up out of the darkness and saved me so completely and understood the character so well we had to make him play the role for real”
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
they killed him for this
always almost

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always almost
I wish you stayed
(Without the star ;))