Cobweb Corners

All the recent media attention given to sexual harassment and the calling out of top figures not only in the Entertainment industry but in the Political field as well hit me all a bit unfazed.  You may wonder how I was not outraged, or disgusted by this behavior; how was I not shocked to learn this was happening? Well that is just it, I know its happening.  I know because as a member of the female population I have been sexually harassed most of my life.  

In fact, I am sexually harassed on a regular basis; usually at work; by a boss or manager.  It happens throughout my day; sometimes it’s not directed at me but a female member of the small office I cohabitate with Monday thru Friday.  This is not the first instance, nor I doubt it will be the last.

The company I was employed at prior to where I am now became so bad I stopped wearing dresses.  I was tired of hearing about my skirt; or on one occasion “how great my tits look in that top”.  I mostly have been employed at small privately-owned companies since graduating from college in 2004.  In the restaurant industry I expected this type of behavior, even sometimes threw it back. It’s a different environment then an office; the rules a bit less lax (even if they have policies in place no one enforces them).

Since I have been employed in the type of companies I have; there is no HR Department.  Who do I go to complain about the Owner of the company sexually harassing me? Who isn’t going to fire me if I complain? Who is going to care? There are no shareholders to answer to; no media to care about a Staff Accountant being hassled by her boss.

So, when there started to become backlash over Harvey Weinstein; I thought oh well he’s an Entertainment mogul what can they really do? ‘Oh he was removed from posts he held in blah….blah….Blah.’ This removal did not surprise me, he’s rich, he’ll be fine.  What really surprised me was how many people knew it was happening to the degree it was and just like me rolled on with it.  Who do you complain to? Who do you tell that will care?

The recent firing of Matt Lauer from the Today show surprised me.  What didn’t was my boss’s commentary on it. “Huh, I’m surprised that’s never happened to me.” He said with a doofus smile; laughing about how inappropriate he is with his staff.  In that second it hit me; no one cares because  I am but a lowly hourly employee who works in a right to work state and will have to go home tonight just to turn around and come back here all over again tomorrow.  

I followed you in here, trying to help, be the friend you needed in this horrible time.  But here I am in the dark, alone, and wondering why I bothered following you in here in the first place.  I know it’s a terrible thing that’s happened.  I know I cannot possibly understand how you are feeling; grieving, piecing things back together.

But here I am, alone. I thought you were my people. Once a week texts that we’ll get together soon, or that you miss me, hurt.  Cause they’re empty and meaningless.  I am here, alone without you. I am sorry I don’t understand, but neither do you.