Alpha Male

i appear to have made mortal nemeses with a pigeon

tumblr stop rooting for the pigeon

CEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY

The opposite of “the elephant in the room” is “the centipede in the room”: something that’s not actually an issue but everyone is freaking out about

i bet that mario and luigi dont get pussy

And? Do you?

we’re not talking about me right now

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

in the club getting psychosexual

why i never

[now more experienced] why i sometimes

thinking about the plur lifestyle

thinking about the plur lifestyle boys

whats plur

PEACE LOVE UNITY RESPECT: THE RAVER’S CODE

*thinks about the plur lifestyle*

Statistically speaking I have more or less never seen a movie in my life

Flubber?

I've never seen flubber.

Asshole

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

Bro showers in a concept location of silent hill

Hi honey how was your day at the gaslighting factory?

ive never worked there. stop saying i work there

Honey, remember what your union rep said about working off the clock