WUT.

Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is a mistake.

me: i literally couldnt care less about what people think about me

“imagine i had i bowl of skittles and three of them could kill you-”

reaching out for help is one of the bravest things i’ve ever done. i remember that dull fall thursday evening, in which i poured a million drops of hopeful effort into dragging my ironically suicidal self (ironic because i love life) into the psychologist’s office. that thursday, everything came crumbling down; i’ve seen entire buildings being demolished with the same intensity i broke down. my dad picked me up at school because my tutor did no longer know what to do with me, neither did the counselor, nor the nurse; no one knew what to do with me, no one knew what to do with my tears. i watched myself fall into the dark hole this emptiness is and i did not know what to do with my own self. the sheer panic of seeing how your life, your motivation and everything that keeps you tied down onto this earth slips away from your hands does not let you do anything but stare. so, i stared. i stared and i stared, for what seemed to be a lifetime. until i heard ‘the therapist is waiting for you. you can go in’. that thursday, in that waiting room, i looked at my dad, he squizzed my hand gently and gave me enough courage and hope to walk into the psychologist’s office.

I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they have forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.