inactive

... trust no one not even yourself

Apparently, that one question tensely left unspoken between them, had already made Logan's face sour and his lips purse together.

"So... what?" Logan asked, his tone quieter than normal.

"So, why are you avoiding me?" Virgil replied with the question he'd been asking for three days straight, now. There was no way Logan hadn't preemptively considered that.

"I... I was going to the kitchen to prepare lunch," Logan cleared his throat and looked down, crossing his arms.

Virgil sighed. "Yeah, I know, Lo. I've been tailing you for three days and you've got a pretty regular schedule."

"Wish I could say the same for you." Logan suddenly met Virgil's eyes again, as a nervous shimmy through his body made him look a bit uncomfortable. "I have been telling you numerous times to eat at regular ti-"

"Don't change the subject."

This dance had gone on long enough. Virgil would allow Logan a chance to lecture him, after thiwas over.

"C'mon, man," Virgil scoffed. Logan frowned a bit at Virgil's expression, which Virgil decided to take as a sign that Logan didn't want him to get upset over this.

Well, there's one very easy fix for that.

"I've been going over every interaction we've had to figure out whether I've done something wrong, or I offended you or something, and-"

Logan looked taken aback, and shook his head. "N-No, that's not-"

"And I can't tell if I'm that stupid that I overlooked something I did to you, or said to you. But I can't figure out out and you've been ignoring the questions I ask you around the others and-"

"V-Virgil, listen-"

No. Now it was Virgil's turn to plough through Logan's reasoning with irrational behavior. If only it could help him get through to him.

"No, you listen! If I did something wrong, you tell me. That's what we agreed on, right? And now something's clearly going on and you're not telling me and-!"

"I'm feeling!"

The way Logan blurted out his response, overpowering Virgil's spiraling volume even, had caught both of them by surprise. Virgil was quiet, and saw Logan's face turn red as he nervously fiddled with his tie.

"I- I mean, I am feeling..."

"You're... sick, or something?" Virgil stammered. He knew that when he was overwhelmed, sometimes Logan would help him by trying to finish his sentences to further a conversation. Because he was usually more eloquent.

...Usually.

"Sick, um-..."

Logan stumbled more over his words than Virgil had ever seen of him. "I suppose... you could call it that," he said in such a quiet voice, that Virgil could hardly make it out.

"Um, Lo, I-... I don't know if I'm the best person to talk to when it comes to feelings," Virgil shrugged a bit with a sigh. Without realizing, he lowered his arm, opening up Logan's escape route again.

But Logan didn't flee. Not this time.

"If you're... feeling some kind of sick over... feelings, or whatever," Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, not even sure what he was trying to say with this. "...Why not talk to Patton? I'm sorry if I... pushed you in any way, or... well. Can- can you at least explain after you've talked to Patton? Or... we could go together, or-"

"Together?"

As if the word in itself was not part of this not-so-eloquent Logan's vocabulary, he stared at Virgil as if he just short-circuited.

"...yeah? I guess?" Now Virgil started to sweat, and looked away.

Maybe confrontation was a bad idea, after all. He wasn't even good at it.

...His hunch was right.

Of course he did something wrong. He must have insulted Logan by not listening well enough to him, or spilling a bit of his coffee on his shirt last Monday, or bothering him about that nightmare last week, or-

"I have feelings..."

Logan's insecure phrasing somehow managed to tear down Virgil's inner thoughts.

He always managed to do that. Logan just had that air around him, that instantly brought Virgil some peace whenever he gravitated towards him.

Still blushing, Logan swallowed and squeezed his tie. "I have feelings... about you," he said.

"...oh," Virgil responded softly, and feared for what's to come. There was something about the phrasing, that... made it feel like it was something big. "Uh, what, what are those feelings?"

Logan paused for a moment, before crossing his arms again.

He frowned.

"...fear," he said.

And Virgil's heart sank.

That must have been it. His constant gravitating towards Logan, his constant tailing and following him, bothering him with the little things he couldn't handle and he should...

It made Virgil's anxiety and fears latch onto Logan.

"I-..." Virgil stuttered, feeling like the floor was unstable under his feet. "...I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to get clingy, or anything, and-"

"No, you're-"

The, Virgil saw Logan's feet step closer to his own.

"...you're not listening."

Logan appeared to have regained some of the composure in his voice; enough that Virgil dared to meet his eyes again.

They were vibrant with... something, behind his glasses.

Logan let out a breath, slowly letting his hands fall next to his sides.

"...I'm experiencing... some sort of fear, because..."

Clutching one hand with the other firmly, Logan caught Virgil's gaze with such an uncharacteristic nervousness that for some stupid reason... it made Virgil's stomach flutter.

"Because I think I might like you and that thought in and of itself terrifies me.”

Now it was Virgil's turn to short-circuit.

"...what."

His mouth agape, Virgil felt his stomach twist and his heart beat strongly against his chest. "You-... what?"

"I-" Logan let out an incredulous chuckle, as if himself flabbergasted by that confession. "I feel like I am experiencing... a gravitation towards you. Some kind of... attracting force, to be around you, and help you, and talk to you. And lately..."

Logan's face had never been so expressively nervous and insecure. It even triumphed Virgil's emotions right now, considering he was still coming to terms with the sentence Logan just uttered.

"...it's getting stronger. To the point that I get... scared, to talk to you. Or, you startle me, when you look me in the eyes. I get overwhelmed with an odd anxious sentiment when you ask me a question, and express concern for my well-being, and it renders me... silent. Unable to speak."

An even odder sentiment, or thought, entered Virgil's brain. Trying to connect the dots. But surely, it... it couldn't be.

He shook his head. "I make you feel... scared," he mumbled, in an attempt to force that outrageous conclusion out of his mind.

"No, Virgil."

A gentleness returned in Logan's tone, and without meaning to... Virgil once again felt reassured. Even before hearing the answer.

Logan's lips curled into a warm smile, so uncharacteristically warm.

"You make me feel."

Again, the thumping in his chest and flutter in his stomach had Virgil overwhelmed. He couldn't even try to process that response if he wanted to.

Logan continued to smile, as he spoke. "You make me feel scared, yes. But also... excited, and anxious, and valued, and useful, and worthy... Happy."

"...Happy?"

Now that sounded like a word unbelonging in Virgil's vocabulary. He was pretty much the embodiment of everything not-happy.

And yet... a warmth radiated from his hand, and welled up in his chest, when Logan reached out to softly hold it with his own.

"Among other things." Logan's smile trembled a bit, his cheeks flushed, and he huffed. "It's confusing... Feelings are confusing."

"...yeah. They are,"

Virgil looked at the way their hands were holding onto each other, as if naturally drawn to each other.

Despite the fear and anxiety raging through his own being, Virgil decided to squeeze Logan's hand back.

"But... I can help you make sense of them."

Logan's face relaxed a little, eyes widened in surprised gratitude. He shyly took a step closer and squeezed Virgil's hand as well.

He nodded quietly.

"Let's help each other," he said.

And with that, even after the confrontation ended, neither felt the need to flee the kitchen anymore.