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Virgil: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.

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Remus: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Patton: Remus, please no.

Virgil: Mistlefoe.

Patton: Please stop encouraging him.

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Patton: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

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Patton: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Janus: What's that?

Patton: You've never had leftovers?

Janus: No, because I'm not a quitter.

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Virgil: I'm very scary.

Patton: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Virgil: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Patton: And small.

Virgil:

Virgil: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

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Janus: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

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Virgil: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Virgil: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

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Janus: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Roman: I really care about your feelings!

Patton: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Janus, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Remus: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Virgil: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

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Remus: I learned a valuable lesson from this.

Logan: I’m guessing it is a distortion of the lesson you actually should’ve taken away…

Remus: DEATH ISN’T REAL AND I AM BASICALLY GOD!

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Janus: I am literally evil incarnate.

Janus: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil.

Janus: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

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Janus: As you know I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.

Virgil: Where am I on the list?

Janus: Well I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.

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Roman: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.

Virgil, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

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Janus: Why are Remus and Patton sitting with their backs to each other?

Virgil: They had a fight.

Janus: Then why are they holding hands?

Virgil: They get sad when they fight.

Remus: Talk dirty to me.

Janus: Inflation is a serious problem and lumber prices are at a high.

Remus: Wha-

Janus: The economy is in shambles.

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Logan: Do you need assistance in getting up?

Virgil: Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

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Logan: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Patton: I don’t know how to do that.

Roman: I don’t wear a watch.

Virgil: Time is a construct.

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