Meat For Sale

When I get to work and realize I forgot my headphones

When my hot middle school art teacher would come by my desk and say what I was drawing looked good

When I try to reach for my coconut water on the table while I’m hungover on the couch but it got pushed too far away

When my friend gives me crap for taking so long to complete my order at Subway

When I wake up after boozing hard and the water cup next to my bed is empty

When I give clothes to someone going to a music festival for the first time and they say they feel like an idiot

When my friend says he wants to gently hint to his girlfriend that she’s gained a few pounds

When I have to fly on a Sunday during football and turn on my phone after we land to see my fantasy team is getting its ass kicked

When I see a hot girl I had met in college years later and she doesn’t remember who I am

When someone tries to give me wisdom by telling me I need to slow down and act my age

When we run out of hot water in the winter and I have to wash my hair as fast as I can

When we’re ready to go out and one of our friends is being a diva and debating whether he wants to go to the bars or not