Do you wanna see how easily my teeth bleed

Well. The title is inaccurate. I just am what I am. But what do I get out of it?

What we do is often about sex. Or sex-related activities. Or activities that are only sexual because we get horny about them. But what I get out of it is often not directly sexual.

Despite what she might fondly imagine, I'm not stroking myself while telling a sweet girl what to do. (I might do so later, though, when thinking about it). When I'm playing with someone in person, we might have sex. I might have her satisfy me sexually. I might even cum (and she'll feel like such a good girl). But that's not really what I *get* out of it.

I'll try to make sense of it.

Feeling adored. To have a girl not just say how she feels about me, but suffer all these things for my sake, just because I want her to... it's powerful. The more she lets me do, the more adored I feel.

Feeling admired. When she gives her decisions to me, she shows a deep trust. It means she knows I'll make reasonably good ones. She trusts my intelligence and my character.

Feeling a deep satisfaction. This one is harder to explain. But when she follows my rules or instructions, it just makes something right in the world. Something is the way it should be.

Feeling unworried sexually. When she gives me access to her body, I don't have to worry about whether it's the right time, whether I'm doing it right, whether I'm being fair about who enjoys what. I can grab her for a cuddle, and if that leaves her wanting more but I'm not in the mood, I just enjoy her frustration. It makes me more confident.

Feeling like a good person. I take care of her. In fucked up ways, it is true. But when I tell her how good she's been, remind her of how much I enjoyed it, when I make her feel more secure and confident in the relationship, I feel good. Aftercare is important for both of us.

Feeling I'm helping someone. Rules that help her achieve her goals. Rules that keep her wet. Rules that make her feel useful, that give her a purpose. It all makes me feel less evil.

Feeling free to be selfish. I'm a people pleaser, always worried about how the people around me feel, whether they're okay, whether they like me. As a dom, I can finally relax about all that. I can say what I want and get it, from someone who feels good about giving it to me. This is why indulging even my smallest whims feels so good. The smaller, the more it means.

Feeling horny. Let's not underestimate this. It's just not all of it.