*:･ﾟ✧ b e l i v e ✧ﾟ･: *

      it wasn’t supposed to take this sort of direction, it was meant to be nothing more than two people wasting time with each other instead of alone. she wasn’t meant to end up pregnant because of it. “honestly i expected this kind of reaction. we barely know each other. it’s not like i thought you’d be shouting from the rooftops at the news, you know?” if he did have that reaction, frankly that would have freaked her out more than what was currently going on. now she’s smiling back at the other, it is slightly forced mainly from everything that was weighing on her mind about this.

     “i took several tests but i understand if it makes you feel better to see a professional about it. to truly have it confirmed.” she couldn’t blame him for that, he barely knew her and who’s to say that she wasn’t lying even though she knew it was the truth. she could see it from his perspective and perhaps that was her natural instinct from being a detective and reading into situations. “yeah, yeah. we can go together that is probably the best option. just tell me a day that works best for you and i’ll set it up with work.” 

       what was a proper way about this kind of situation? no one prepared him for something like this. he was a grown ass man, living his best single life; kids weren’t something he thought about. he wasn’t a family man, but he also didn’t have anything against becoming one. shame it happened with someone he didn’t know well, but at this point it was too late and both of them had to work with what they had. "i guess it’s good you had my number. i wouldn’t want you to go through this alone..” it was nothing but the truth; maybe for someone people he seemed to act like an asshole, but he definitely wasn’t one. he was always taking responsibility for his action. it wasn’t the end of the world; both of them were good, hard working people, the only missing part was relationship. It wasn’t going to be easy, but they had to be a team. 

“fair, fair.” buck acknowledged maggie’s preference with a nod of his head, also storing said information in the back of his mind for future reference. “i actually wasn’t much of a fan of red wine until last year where i picked up the habit when i was introduced to some crisp red wine and i find myself turning to that now when given the option.” 

buck lifted his bottle and clanked it lightly against magnolia’s cup, setting up a toast to lift the spirits. “to lots of great food,” he announced with a bit of a crooked smile before he put his bottle to his lips and took a sip. “i don’t know how i’m going to fit so much food, but hell if i don’t try.” he grinned as he opened a container with his noodles. 

“as long as you don’t sleep with your therapist, it shouldn’t be so bad,” he teased, speaking from his own experience. although he was in a very vulnerable state when that event occurred, he was able to joke about it and make light of the topic now. “cap wants what’s best for you. at first, we used to bump heads a lot, but he helped me straighten my mind up and keep my sight set on what’s truly important. he’s doing the same for you, you know?” 

he and bobby didn’t always see eye-to-eye, they were the perfect example of a father-son-duo if anyone was asked, but it was in that nature that bobby would point him in the right direction if he ever set off course. and not just him, but any of the other members of the team – bobby cared for all of them as family would. because that was precisely what they had become. 

“one step at a time. when you arrive there, who knows.. you might surprise yourself with what you can manage to get through. just.. take one step at a time. and if you want, i can give you a ride there on the day of your appointment and i’ll be there right after too. for support.” 

           it’s been ages since magolia found herself enjoying the company of a male one on one. it still felt like a new territory. not so long ago she was married, with these big plans for her life and now she wasn’t sure what to expect anymore. no matter how long she was single, the idea of staring dating seemed just... so wrong, like she wasn’t allowed to let herself see someone. it wasn’t cheating, that was her ex-husband’s thing. she was just still so attached to the idea of being someone’s wife. it wasn’t easy to let go; especially when you have a history with your significant other. “i’m a wine girl, all the way. i rarely drink but when i do... it’s always wine.”

        raising her glass to make a toast maggie smiled. finally she started to  surround yourself with valuable people. evan was definitely one of them; both him and maddie were just absolutely amazing; how did she deserve for such a great friends? not even a minute around them felt forced, or fake. for once in her life she felt... herself. taking a sip of her wine she almost choked at his words. sleeping with her therapist; or in anyone in general seemed like a good joke. “i’m guessing you tell from your own experience.” she laughed taking another small sip, looking at him. “don’t worry. i don’t even remember the last time i slept with someone. don’t see myself doing it anytime soon.” it was kind of funny, but also so sad that a grown woman couldn’t see herself having sex with a man. it’s not like she felt ugly, or not worthy. where would she find someone to have sex with when she wasn’t doing anything besides going to work? sleeping with one of her colleagues didn’t seem a good idea. especially knowing she could easily develop unwanted feelings.

.

forget about it for a moment. mitch wasn’t sure there would be a single moment when he’d be able to forget about the fact that rose was pregnant. but he knew what she meant, and he could see that she needed it. so, maybe he’d still have his internal monologues, he didn’t have to share every single of his worries and fears with her. he couldn’t even imagine how much scarier this even had to be for her. when she leaned in, he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close as he leaned back onto the couch so that they were both resting against it. softly stroking her hair with his thumb, he closed his eyes for a moment while she spoke, then kissed her forehead softly and smiled against her head.  mitch knew he was more … experienced, than she was – but this was new territory for the both of them. he felt guilty though, like he should’ve known better (he should’ve), especially because rosalie had been so different from any other girl he’d been with. things had been so easy with her up to now, it had been so refreshing and so sweet, but now things just seemed so tangled up. “i’m glad i’m here for you,” he said, wanting her to feel as supported as he could. “can i get you anything? tea, some water?” he could do with a shot himself, but he didn’t want to be insensitive to her. 

.

        from all the people she met, mitch was the first one to show her so much respect and appreciation. no matter how their story was going to end at that very moment rosalie was so glad it was him by her side. it felt like a weird dream; hearing she’s pregnant at such a young age with someone she wasn’t even in a relationship with. they didn’t need to put a label on anything; but rose stared to wonder. if she cared so much about him; was the feeling mutual? did he ever consider her as someone more than just a fling? a fuck buddy? what was between them besides... well, the obvious, the baby? “no, i don’t need anything. not right now.” he body felt so warm, the girl snuggled him placing one of her hand on his chest, feeling the heartbeat under the skin. his heart was still racing, no surprise after what they’ve just learned. not the first time it was beating so fast. “will you... want to see me after everything?” her voice was soft and pretty quiet like she was scared to hear the answer. there was no doubt that neither of them was ready for becoming a parent, so they had limited option. even if she couldn’t get an abortion... would she be able to give the baby up? was that even a possibility? would he still by by her side if she decided otherwise? so many thoughts were going through her head. “i don’t want you to feel like you have to spend time with me.”

           It’s relieving to know that even through it all, Maggie still felt at peace here. It seemed like a small solace, but one she deserved. Starting a life for yourself was difficult. Caleb knew that extremely well, especially when there wasn’t anyone to really guide you through it. The closest thing he had to that was his aunt, and she couldn’t be there for him all the time. But he couldn’t imagine just how hard creating that life could be miles away from a place so familiar to you and filled with those who loved you unconditionally. He wasn’t sure his assumption was right, but it sounded like Maggie needed to come back for that familiarity. Maybe it would give her confidence again or at least some sort of clarity. The biggest on his mind then was simple; what could have happened for her to end up like this?

              “I figured she would have.” Maggie’s mother was a character, but in an endearing way. She was the closest thing he had to Maggie after all this time, and he was more than happy to stop there once a month for a restock on passion flowers and news about her. Of course the most effective way to get in contact with her was to reach out, but the anxiety inducing thoughts bubbled inside him like a swirling cauldron. Marrying that with professionally diagnosed depression spoke in on itself. Caleb was ready to laugh at the comment about her room remaining untouched, already trying to formulate some witty remark. But Maggie’s tone grew somber and in turn, he sobered up. Divorce? He blinked, drowning his shock with a douse of Jack Daniels. Divorce? He couldn’t believe it; the last he heard about her husband they seemed… well… happy. Or at least he thought. “You have to do what’s best for you, Maggie. If you need to take a break, you take as long as you need. If you ever need to talk about any of this, I’m here.”

              Caleb found himself scratching the back of his neck, already feeling the nerves as the question was directed towards him. He looked from Maggie to his glass, shrugging weakly. “I’ve been… alright? I think? I can’t complain too much. I work for a computer hardware research and development center over in Midtown. A lot of my time nowadays is just work. If I’m not there, I’m either walking my dog, going to the gym, or building my own computer projects on the side.” He wasn’t exactly sure how searching the last twenty years for his mom would sound on top of it, so it was best left out.

             No one’s life was perfect, even if at first glance it looked like it. Magnolia wasn’t oblivious, she was aware that dark times can come but never in a million years she expected to end up like this. When someone didn’t go through a similar situation it could be really hard to understand; for some people what happened to Maggie wasn’t the end of the world; but for someone like her... It crushed her spirit. Not once. Each time she would have to see or hear the news part of her was fading away. Grieving was a long process, but her kind of loss was less acceptable by the society. Magnolia didn’t have a chance to meet any of the children she was caring; she lost them on many different stages of pregnancy but she was never far enough to hold any of them. Maybe that’s why she convinced herself that she’s not allowed to talk about it. People wouldn’t understand; no one from her current friends would treat her  depression seriously. Not even her husband was trying to understand. He chose a different way to get his mind off of the situation. He was never a huge support for Magnolia so divorce was hanging in the air. The last straw was William’s affair that ended up with him knocking up his secretary. That definitely broke her even more.

             The life she planned and hoped for was so different from the one she got. If you asked her eighteen year old self how she imagined herself in ten or fifteen years she would probably tell you about the house she always wanted to renovate herself, her two or three kids and amazing husband she deeply loved. Maybe she would even let herself dream that it was Caleb. Unfortunately her reality was so different. There was no one to blame, she made her decisions that led her to today. “I’d never make anyone listen to my problems.” That was one of the reasons she was struggling so much with starting a therapy, it seemed so pointless, was there a way to feel better? So wasn’t so sure. “Last few years were very upsetting, let just leave it at that.” Magnolia didn’t want to tell him how awful it was. It would be her admitting to making the worst decision of her life; leaving him behind. 

                               should i ???

          Truthfully, he wasn’t sure of exactly how Magnolia was doing. Perhaps it was his shit communication skills or atropic touch on relationships that was to blame. Caleb found himself in the perpetual loop of building and adoring his relationships to falling out of touch with them when everything seem to just… go wrong. He had convinced himself long ago it was just a coping mechanism to keep him steady. Realistically, it was an eject button he jabbed his finger on until his bones ached and he needed a splint for his hand. There was so much he found himself missing out on and so much more to life that he had evaded for more than a decade. Just like this. He hoped she was doing well; last time he checked she was hundreds of miles away doing… he wasn’t sure. How embarrassing. “It’s nice to have you back.” And for once, he meant that.

             At the mention of her mother, Caleb’s smile was wistful but sincere. “I stopped by your mom’s shop a few months ago. She must be thrilled that you’re stopping by.” Silently, he hoped that Magnolia knew how special having her in her life was. Then again, that may just be common knowledge he was too hyper fixated on to realize. He would have commented that he was happy to hear about her mother, but as soon as she spoke about her father, he buttoned up. He nodded shortly, knowing that even if it has been some years, that pain still aches the same. No amount of ‘I’m sorries’ can patch that up. The only thing that could start an attempt was time. “How about you? How have you been?” It was as if after high school Magnolia was shipped off to college with a one way ticket in her hand.

       Leaving her old behind wasn’t easy — even if some people didn’t believe it. Getting to her dream college where she got a full scholarship was a chance she didn’t want to miss out of; her hard-working parents would be so disappoint to see her give up such an amazing opportunity. Back then she truly thought she was making the best possible decision; looking at this now — she wasn’t so sure. After all those years she wasn’t very happy with how her life went. Something was missing. Someone important was missing. At first she waited, prayed that maybe that special someone will take actions in their hands, call her, maybe visit her, but none of this happened. Every day it hurt less and then pain became bearable, the fact that she started dating also helped. Suddenly Maggie wasn’t so alone anymore, she had someone to spend time with. Soon after Oliver proposed and it seemed like a good idea to let go of hope for something that was never going to happen. That’s how she spend years away from her home, from Caleb.

              “I hope that’s a good thing.” Change… He could have laughed at the observation. A change in every aspect of his life would be so welcome it was sick. To finally see his mother again, to go back to doing something he loved, to allow himself move on from the empty bitterness that seemed to brew in his heart with each passing day. They would only happen in his wildest dreams. He had support systems in place, but it seemed that even with those tremendous sources of love Caleb still felt incomplete. He was tired. And every tired man’s best friend was Jack Daniels and a small splash of ginger ale. Unlike the maelstrom in his chest his grip on the bottle was firm, trained. As if proportioning out the alcohol to soda rations mentally, Caleb’s eyes remained fixed on the bottle until he was satisfied. Once so, he placed it back upright on the table.

               Does he say the truth? Who would in his position? What could he even say without dampering the mood? This was supposed to be a nice occasion, a reconnection with someone he hasn’t seen in so long. Someone he cared for fiercely, and still did now. He didn’t want to ruin any of it. Buying a few moments by drinking from his glass, Caleb furrowed his brows inward. “How much time do you got?” He stared deadpan for a moment before breaking into a wide, boyish smile. “Just kidding. It could be better, but I’m still standing, right?” He paused. Right. Time to change the subject. “How about you? How’s your family doing?”

         coming back to the place she grew up in felt...  like a breath a fresh air. not only she realized how cozy this town was, but also how many amazing memories were made here. in all those years she’s been here only a few times. the last one - a few years back when her dad passed away. it was heartbreaking to know she lost so much time with him. but it wasn’t something she could change. life went on, she couldn’t wonder what if so much. magnolia used to do that all the time; think, wonder, make up scenarios in her head. what if things went differently, what if she didn’t leave? at the beginning it was something she was thinking about on daily basis, when she met her husband it went away for a little bit. with each little tragedy, with every bump on the road — she would always come back to the best time of her life that she had here, in this town. 

Declan tried school for a couple years until he had the courage to let go of the idea of a back up plan . He knew what he wanted to do with his life and he knew exactly what he needed to do to pursue it and yet, he still managed to keep in touch with the friendships he built while he attended. On a very much needed night, one of those friends were throwing a college bash which Declan was invited to. Never saying no to a good time, the brunette boy showed up fashionably late which was always to be expected of him.

He sat in the frat house living room, sipping on a cold beer with a few of his friends and their girlfriends and then their girlfriend’s friends as well. One of whom was very diffrent amognst the rest of the girls that he was surrounded by. He had noticed that the majority of the girls didn’t care much for this stranger and that they just needed someone to laugh at for entertainment. Not shying away from how unamused he was, one of the girl’s in the circle beckoned him to play truth or dare with the group.

“There’s nothing you can dare me that I can’t do,” Declan confidently groaned. The girl continued to hassle him for his participation and with the roll of his eyes, he leaned forwards and whispered firmly, “dare.” To his surprise, he was dared to get the new girl to sleep with him. On a normal occasion, this was something to avoid for Declan which he tried, but his friends persuaded him to follow through.

Declan watched as the blonde made her way upstairs and that’s when he decided to put the dare into play. “Catch you losers later,” he chuckled and followed behind. He decided to take a minute to observe the way she moved and carried herself through the hallway. It was a habbit of his as his passion was to shed light on things that go unnoticed. He stood against the wall, his arms folded across his chest when he heard her speak in which he responded, “unless you’re thinking of assisting me in the bathroom, then I wouldn’t mind your help at all.”

        loneliness was a part of life, at least for elisabeth. she used to being all by herself, she couldn’t really invite people over & even when she was still in high school there were people calling her weird. weird - only because she was raised different than them. she used to expecting people not taking her very serious, but she would never think that someone can plan to hurt her. it wasn’t something she believed people are capable of. hurting people or using them on purpose. how naive of her, right? lizzie was definitely too pure for some of these students. she lived believing she will meet some great people, have a great time & enjoy her freedom. there was no voice in her head warning her about what’s going to happen. 

         swallowing her bite the blonde locked her eyes with stranger. she was naive, but not stupid. guys like him didn’t talk to her. she was always invisible, especially among all these pretty girls with their make up done, with their long locks, stunning outfits. elisabeth tried, but still looked a little too comfortable for a freshman. she didn’t put much thought into her appearance. a tall, handsome guy who seemed pretty bored with the party, but also weirdly interested in talking to her. why? what was the point? why her? or maybe he was just someone nice trying to start a conversation? lizzie was looking at him for a long moment before speaking up. “no, thank you.” 

      not everyone was a social butterfly & not everyone had to be one. elisabeth was a loner, raised by christian parents who believed the best way to go through like is to be modest & stay away from sins. after graduating from high school she actually got a full scholarship & was attending college living with her aunt. that way she didn’t have to take a three hour drive to get to her classes. it was nice to be more independent, new environment, new people.

      that party wasn’t something she planned to go to; it was her friend’s idea & lizzie just went with it since it was her first college experience. she was never on a party, never tried alcohol, never smoked, never had a boyfriend. she was starting a new chapter of her life by trying new things. it was truly sad because she believed it’s going to be an amazing time of her life; but unfortunately her newly made friend wasn’t as nice as she seemed. she brought her there only to show her other friends what a freak elisabeth was. freak as someone who doesn’t wear any make up & doesn’t dress slutty & doesn’t know much about party life.