♡

"Am I good to go, Dana?"

"Yeah, kid."

"Okay, sweet. You better leave too, Lena's got things covered." Your gaze drifts from Dana to the night shift charge nurse sitting across from where you and Dana are standing. "Right, Lena?"

"I think I got everything covered", Lena says. "Ever since y/n has started working here, you've been getting out earlier than you used to. She's a good one."

A small smile spreads across your face. "Ain't that the truth", Dana replies with a soft smirk. "I'll leave in a minute. Have a good night, kid."

"You too", you say before walking away.

Once you reach the lockers, you throw on the winter jacket you brought. You then gather all of your belongings.

As you pull out your bag from your locker, you hear someone else coming in. A familiar voice pipes up behind you. "Man, I am not looking forward to driving in this weather."

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you turn around to find Cassie looking at you. "Me either."

Cassie walks over to her locker and punches in her code. "Winter is always so depressing, but it's always been somewhat comforting to me." You watch Cassie as she slides on her winter coat.

"Same", you look at the ground for a second, pondering, and then your eyes return to Cassie. "As stupid as it sounds, there definitely is something comforting about the darkness."

Cassie pulls her bag over her shoulder and closes her locker. "Yeah", she says, eyeing you thoughtfully. Cassie sucks in a breath and pulls her lips in a smile, her dimples showing. "Well, I'm going to head out."

You nod. "Same."

In silence, you and Cassie walk out of the hospital. The second you step outside, the cold winter air hits you. Shivering, you tuck your hands in your jacket pockets.

Both you and Cassie look both ways before crossing the street to the parking garage. As you're walking across the street, Cassie turns to you and breaks the silence. "Did you, uh, manage to get first floor parking today?"

You shake your head. "No, second floor. They really need to reserve more staff spots."

"Right?", Cassie exclaims.

You walk side by side with Cassie as you make your way up the parking garage stairs. After you make it to the second floor, you glance at Cassie. "I'm this way", you tell her, pointing to the right.

"I am too." The faintest smile tugs at her lips.

When you reach your car, you stop walking. Cassie's now a few feet ahead of you. "This is me."

Cassie looks forward and then back at you with an amused, hung smile. "No way, I'm right here", she says as she points to her blue car. There's only one car between your spaces.

You stand on your tiptoes and peek at her car. "I didn't know you had a blue car."

"Yup. My dad gifted it to me when I graduated medical school."

"That's so sweet", you say with a warm smile.

"I'm grateful to have a dad like him."

"Most dads are shit", you joke, but it comes out heavier than you intended.

Cassie stares at you, analyzing your expression. She awkwardly pulls her lips into a tight-lipped smile and rocks back and forth on her toes.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean for that to come across as a mood killer", you say as your gaze drops to the ground. "That wasn't supposed to make it seem like I was jealous or I was trauma dumping I swear, well, if you even took it that way—"

You stop talking when you feel two hands on your biceps. Surprised, you look up to find Cassie in front of you. How did you not realize she walked over to you?

With a small chuckle, Cassie shakes her head. "Honey, I didn't take it like that", she reassures you through an amused smile. "Just stop overthinking, okay?" Her eyebrows pulls together as she looks at you. She gives your biceps a gentle yet grounding squeeze.

"Sorry", you whisper.

"Stop apologizing", she replies, her voice lower and softer than before. Cassie's eyes drop down to your lips, gaping for a few seconds, and then she looks back up into your eyes.

Your breath hitches. All of a sudden you feel lightheaded. Without thinking, you lean in, your lips attaching themselves to hers.

Cassie squeezes your arms again and kisses you back. But only five seconds into the kiss, she pulls back and lets go of you.

Your brain short circuits, and you can't think of anything to say. Cassie seems to be in the same headspace.

You blink a few times and curl your hands into fists so you can dig your nails into your palms, pulling yourself out of whatever trance you were just in. "Oh my god. Shit. Sorry." You run your hands over your head. "I-I'm so sorry", you stammer.

You turn around, mentally kicking yourself for what you just did, but you unexpectedly hear Cassie rasp out, "Wait!" Before you even have time to think, Cassie grabs onto your wrist, pulling you back to her.

Her lips slam against yours. She lets go of your wrist and cups your face. Your arms wrap around her neck.

The kiss gets messy quickly. Cassie's tongue pushes into your mouth, tangling with yours. She then pulls back just enough to trap your lower lip with her teeth. Immediately after, her mouth is on yours again.

The tiniest whimper escapes you which she swallows with a small groan of her own. Cassie's hands move from your face to your waist, digging her nails into your hips.

BEEP!

Suddenly, you both jump apart. There's a car alarm going off the row over from where you and Cassie are parked. You look at her breathless, unsure of what to say.

Cassie lets out a shaky breath, and then pulls her keys from her jacket pocket. "Uh, I should go", she says, her voice barely above a whisper, and takes small steps backwards.

"Oh, um, yeah, yeah." You tug your bag's strap up your shoulder, needing something to hold onto. "Sorry", you murmur.

Cassie laughs, the tension in her expression leaving. "I told you to stop apologizing." She unlocks her car and opens the driver side door.

Chuckling, you grab your keys. "I want to apologize for that", you jest.

Still smiling, Cassie rolls her eyes playfully. "You better not."

You put your hands up in surrender. "Fine."

"Good." She looks at you for one more moment, and then tears her gaze from you to her car. "I'm gonna go now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight", you say back, barely loud enough for Cassie to hear.

"Drive safe", she tells you before getting in her car.

"You too", you mumble more so to yourself as you unlock your car.

By the time you start the car and place your bag on the passenger seat, Cassie's already backing out. For someone who just mentioned road safety, she sure was driving fast for a parking garage.

Sighing, you drop your head to the steering wheel. Did that really just happen? Did you really just kiss Cassie? As in your coworker Cassie? The one who has a son and is almost twice your age?

And yet, you wished you could go back in time to that moment. To that kiss. That perfect kiss Cassie McKay gave you.

Before that night, you never saw Cassie as more than friends. Yeah, you always found her pretty, but the thought of Cassie being your girlfriend or simply hooking up with her had never crossed your mind. But now? You're addicted to her.

An hour after you got home Cassie texted you saying she's the one who needs to apologize. There's a line she crossed that can't be ignored again. She asked you to just forget about it.

But you couldn't. So since then you would flirt with her at work every now and then. Text her a picture of yourself when you had a fun outfit. Touch her in a way that affectionate friends would.

It wasn't enough though. You needed more. You needed her.

A month after your kiss, you pulled Cassie aside one evening after a shift to talk about it. It was clear she didn't want to even think about the kiss, let alone having a conversation about it with you. Still, you confessed to her that you wanted to kiss her again.

And for a moment it seemed like she was going to kiss you right then and there in the ambulance bay, but she didn't. Instead, Cassie told you it was a mistake. In her own words it was "highly inappropriate" and she's "disgusted by herself."

It hurt to hear her say that. You can still remember how your eyes stung as you held back tears. Miraculously, you were able to keep from crying. All you could muster out was a measly "okay."

The second you made it into you car you broke down. It took you almost 30 minutes before you could drive back home.

Now, that kiss with Cassie was a year ago. She's never brought it up since. At times it felt like a faint dream. Almost like a childhood movie you start doubting was real.

While you weren't heartbroken anymore — at least not as bad as before — you still gravitated towards her.

Dana noticed. She knew something changed.

Since your first day at PMTC, Dana took you under her wing. She's always been observant over everyone, but especially you. Which is why her mini lecture with you right now was not surprising in the slightest.

"When you're with a patient, your attention needs to be fully on them." Irritated, you sigh and cross your arms, looking at Dana as she continues. "You shouldn't be glancing across the ER, and you should never be staring at another doctor working a totally separate case. Your focus needs to be on your patients."

"Dana", you start, "I—"

She holds a hand up. "Save it, kid. You've been making eyes at McKay for months now, and it's starting to affect your work."

Your eyebrows draw together, confused. Cassie was not on your mind nearly as much as she was a year ago. "I'm fine, Dana. Maybe I've looked for", you lower your voice, "her once or twice, but it's because I'm going to consult her."

"Uh, huh", Dana says, not buying what you're saying. "Whether you're doing it every minute or once every day, you need to cut it out. I already told you that it's interfering with your ability to treat patients, and it's doing the same to her."

Your eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"I'll pull McKay aside too. Whatever nonsense is going on between you two needs to stop or at the very least leave the workplace."

"Dana, there's nothing going on with us."

Dana takes her glasses off and rests a hand on her hip, side eyeing you. "I don't believe that's true, but if it is, you still need to find a way to treat patients the way they deserve."

A pang of guilt hits you. Have you been doing a bad job lately?

Of course, Dana seems to notice you second guessing yourself. "Kid, you're a great nurse." She places a hand on your shoulder. "But if you want it to stay that way, you need to cut out whatever bullshit you and Cassie got going on. Capiche?"

You draw in a breath and nod. "Got it."

She gives your shoulder two taps before walking away.

"Fifty dollars says those girls keep making eyes at each other", Princess whispers in Tagalog to Perlah as you look over a chart. You were completely oblivious that they even heard your conversation with Dana.

"Bitch, that five dollars would go down the drain. Of course they're going to continue to stare", Perlah says back to Princess. They look at each other and then start laughing at the situation as you walk away to attend to a patient.

There was only an hour left in your shift as you sat beside Perlah at the nurse's station. After your conversation with Dana, you avoided Cassie as best as you could. Out of sight out of mind, right?

Perlah glances at the board above you, and then turns towards you. "Sweetie, there's a seven year old girl waiting to get her cast off in South 19 if you're up for it."

"Hm?", you murmur as your head jerks to the right where Perlah is. "Oh, um, yeah, I can do that", you say, forcing a smile.

You stand up and grab the patient's chart. Grace Fisher. Left arm cast removal. Simple enough.

You head over to South 19, softly humming a tune to yourself. But when you open the curtain, you freeze.

Cassie.

She turns and her sparkling blue eyes find yours. "I, uh..." You draw in a breath and will yourself to look away. With a smile you introduce yourself to the girl, Grace and her mother.

After you greet them, Cassie walks over to you. She lowers her voice so only you can hear her. "Robby asked me to take care of this real quick. He's trying to clear out as many patients as possible before night shift gets here."

Without looking at her, you nod. "I can do it if you need to get back to your other patients."

Cassie points to a tray behind her. "I already have the stuff. I was explaining to Grace how a cast saw works before you came in."

Still facing forward, avoiding eye contact with Cassie, you shrug. "Guess you don't need me then", you mutter somewhat bitterly.

Cassie's voice softens automatically. "No, no, you can stay. I mean if you want to."

You take a few seconds to think, only making this interaction more awkward than it already is. A weary breath escapes you as you finally face Cassie. "Okay."

"Do you want to do it? I've noticed you've been doing desk work most of the day."

Was Dana right? Was Cassie watching you?

"I'll do it. Thanks, Cass", you say before walking over to grab the cast saw. You don't see the smile that lights up Cassie's face as you call her "Cass."

You grab a stool and sit beside Grace. "Dr. McKay here already explained to you how this works, right?"

Grace nods, clearly nervous. Her mom grabs her daughter's free hand. "She did", Mrs. Fisher tells you.

"Okay, great", you say in your softest voice. "Do you have any questions before we start?" Grace shakes her head. "When your cast is off do you want to pick out some stickers?" you ask as you lean in. "I know where all the good stickers are hidden."

Grace smiles shyly. "Okay."

"You're so brave. I'm going to start on the count of three. All you're going to hear is some buzzing, okay?" Grace nods, more assertive this time. "Ready? 1, 2, 3", you say, starting to remove the cast.

Even though Cassie is just a few feet away from you, you focus on the patient in front of you. Cassie however, can't take her eyes off of you. She doesn't even realize she's smiling as she watches you chat with Grace, helping the anxious kid become more comfortable.

"All done", you tell Grace. "How does it feel?"

"Awesome", she says with a big smile. "Can I get stickers now?"

You chuckle. "Of course, sweetie. I'll be right back, I'm gonna go grab them now."

You stand and head out of the room, Cassie follows you. "You were really good with Grace", she says.

"Thanks."

"You've always been good at soothing kids."

"I was an anxious child, so that probably helps."

"The best doctors and nurses apply their own experiences to their work."

"Like you", you murmur without a second thought.

Cassie blushes slightly, but you don't catch it. "And you."

You fight a smile as you walk into the nurse's station to the drawer where Perlah and Princess keep stickers and grab a few sheets. When you turn around Cassie is right in front of you.

"Oh, sorry", she says, stepping aside.

"It's okay", you assure her as you walk back to South 19 to give Grace some stickers. Cassie follows you in silence.

When you reach the room, Cassie walks ahead of you and pulls open the curtain. "After you", she says while holding a hand out.

"Why thank you Dr. McKay." You can't fight back the smile creeping up. Wow, that's the first genuine smile you've had all day. Huh.

"My amazing nurse here has some stickers for you to chose from, sweetheart", Cassie says to Grace.

You hand the stickers sheet you have over to Grace and let her pick a few. She ends up choosing a mermaid, a princess, and a cat. "Good choices", you tell Grace with a wink. Then you look over to her mom. "You guys are all good to go."

"Thank you both", Mrs. Fisher says.

"It was our pleasure", Cassie says with a kind smile.

You look at Grace and put up a hand. She gives you a high five with a big grin on her face. "You were so brave", you tell her.

Cassie opens the curtain, and Mrs. Fisher and Grace step through. She points up ahead to the left. "The exit is just this way. Would you like one of us to walk you guys out?"

"No, you've done enough already."

"Okay", Cassie says. "Have a good night."

As they leave you start walking to the break room, in desperate need of a cup of coffee. "Hey, wait up", Cassie calls out to you. Once she's caught up with you, she takes a deep breath. "Can we talk after our shift?"

You come to a halt and hesitantly turn towards her. "About what?"

"Just... stuff."

Your brows pull together. "That's very descriptive", you say before resuming walking.

"I just don't want to get into it right now. I don't want to stress you out or distract you."

You open the break room door and see Langdon pouring himself a cup of coffee. Hushed, you mutter to Cassie, "well you kind of already are."

"Lucky for you guys, I just made another pot", Langdon says as he walks out.

"My savior", you call out over your shoulder.

Once Langdon is gone, Cassie continues. "It's nothing to worry about. Just go about the rest of your shift like usual, okay?"

The rich, earthy aroma of the freshly brewed coffee fills your nose as you pour yourself a cup. "I'll try."

"Meet me by the lockers when we're off the clock?"

You turn towards Cassie and lean against the counter. For the first time since this morning you really take in Cassie. Her hair is all messy and falling out. Her lips are a little dry. She looks tired. But still gorgeous. So damn gorgeous.

Nodding, you take a sip of your coffee. "Mm, will do."

"Okay, great." Cassie gives you a small smile that reveals her dimples as she reaches forward and places her hand on your arm. Her touch is so warm and tender. "See you then", Cassie says before pulling away and leaving the break room.

You're left alone, coffee in hand with the heat of Cassie's touch lingering on your arm. Despite Cassie saying the reason why she wants to talk to you isn't bad, you're still nervous. You wanted your shift to be over now and you wanted your shift to last forever at the same time.

You check your phone. 7:12pm.

Nervously, you bite the inside of your cheek as you lean against your locker. You've been waiting for Cassie for five minutes now. She was likely still wrapping up everything she needs to so she can leave and night shift can take over.

Five more minutes pass. You pull your water bottle out of your bag and take a sip. Right now you were wishing it was vodka.

You close your eyes and lean against your locker, taking a few deep breaths.

"Tired?"

Startled, you open your eyes. Cassie's opening her locker.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"Here." You watch as Cassie pulls something out of her locker. "It's a protein bar. You've been downing coffee all day, you need something to eat."

As you take it from her, your fingers touch, lingering longer than necessary before you pull away. "Thanks." You open the wrapper and take a bite. It's peanut butter and chocolate— your favorite.

Cassie throws on a jacket, grabs her bag, and closes her locker. Then, she turns to you. "Walk with me?"

Your mouth is full with a bite of the snack Cassie gave you, so you just nod. She walks to the exit with you at her side. Before you leave the building, you toss the protein bar wrapper in the trash by the door.

"Are you, uh, doing anything after you get home?"

You have a bite in your mouth, chewy and delicious. Before you respond you bring a hand over your mouth. "No, nothing."

"Same."

Cassie doesn't say anything else after that. An awkward silence brews, tension growing.

You take the last bite of the protein bar and put your hands in your pockets. After you finish chewing you look at Cassie. Her eyes are on the street in front of you two.

"Cassie?"

"Yeah?"

A shaky breath leaves you. "What did you want to talk about?"

Cassie nods, knowing she can't put it off any longer. "Well, um, Dana talked to you today, right?"

You and Cassie walk into the parking garage. "Yup, just like she does everyday." Cassie tilts her head at you.

"You know what I m—"

"Where are you parked?"

"Oh, uh, just down this way", Cassie says, pointing at the back of the parking garage.

"I'm on the opposite side."

"Okay." She slides her hands in her jacket pockets. "I'll walk you."

You nod, leading the way.

Cassie says your name, her tone laced with seriousness yet it's still gentle. "Dana talked to you today about me, correct?"

"Correct", you confirm under your breath.

You hear Cassie let out an exasperated breath from behind you. "I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

"The same page about what?"

"That nothing's going on."

Scoffing, you shake your head. "I'm aware."

"Okay, then why is Dana telling me you're always looking at me?"

Stopping in your tracks, you turn around so you're facing Cassie. "Me? What about you?"

She crosses her arms and sighs. "Look, Dana's already on my ass for this. She thinks you're not as focused as you should be. I wanted to ask you if there's anything you want to tell me."

"Like what?" you bite out.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!"

You huff out a laugh. "Fine. Do you want the truth?"

Cassie takes a step closer to you. "Yes."

Your eyes scan hers for a couple moments, making sure you should confess. "Fine. Ever since you kissed me, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. We only talked about it once and all you said was it was gross and inappropriate. Like what the fuck? You never even asked me how I felt. You just stated it was a mistake."

Cassie takes a deep breath like she's thinking over her words carefully. "Because it was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened, and I'm ashamed. Besides, you kissed me first!"

"You— you", you gester at her, "you kissed me. Yeah, I kissed you, but for a second and then I apologized and walked away." You point your finger at her, clearly upset and angry. "You pulled me back. You kissed me again. You were the one who wanted more."

Cassie closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. "And I apologized for that. I told you, it shouldn't have happened— I shouldn't have done that."

"So I'm just a mistake to you?" You can feel tears starting to pool in your eyes, but you force them back.

"You're not a mistake, but what I did to you was."

"What you did? You literally just told me that I kissed you first!"

"Yeah, but it was my responsibility to end it, not pull you back to me."

"Why?" You cross your arms. "Because I'm your coworker?"

"Yes... and you're too young."

You blink a few times, taken aback. Your brows pinch together, confused. Did Cassie feel guilty?

"I'm disgusted by myself because I wanted to kiss you and I wanted more", she admits, her voice shaky.

"I wanted more too, Cassie. You could've told me—"

"That's exactly why I didn't! We can't be together, it's just not right."

"Because I'm younger than you?"

"Because you're so much younger than me. Jesus Christ, I could be your mother!"

It's getting harder to fight back the tears forming. "So... all of this is about your guilt?"

"Oh my god", Cassie says while shaking her head. She looks down at the ground for a few seconds before looking back up at you, her eyes finding yours. "It's wrong", she whispers, her voice breaking. "I hate myself for kissing you."

A single tear slides down your cheek. Cassie looks like she's about to cry as she watches you.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did", you muster out, another tear falling. Cassie tilts her head in a way that looks like she wants to absorb your pain.

"I'm sorry", she whispers.

You inhale deeply, centering yourself, and then wipe away the tears stained on your cheeks. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry that I kissed you. I'm sorry that I've burdened you. And I'm sorry I've made you hate yourself. If I could I would transfer that hate onto me. I would rather you hate me than hate yourself. So I'm fucking sorry."

Without waiting for a response, you spin around and walk towards your car. You hear Cassie calling out your name, her voice breaking slightly, which makes tears spill again.

When you reach your car, you get in as quickly as possible. As soon as the door is shut, you start sobbing. In an attempt to ground yourself, you place a hand over your chest and tap.

You just wanted this feeling to go away. Why did Cassie have to pull you into that damn conversation? How were you supposed to go to work now and face her?

Your eyes start to sting as you keep crying. You know they'll be red and puffy in the morning. Maybe you'll just call out of work tomorrow.

If only you hadn't kissed her that day. All of this could've been avoided. But you did. And there's no going back.

"I'll go grab Mohan for you, Dana."

"Thanks, kid."

"No problem." You leave the central nurse's station and head over to north wing of the ED where Samira is.

It had been three weeks since the blow up with Cassie. You ended up calling out sick for the next three shifts you had. Cassie called out the following two days, returning just a day before you, although, you never knew about it.

Dana did, however, and knew something had happened. She never pushed either of you to talk about it, only leaving little hints here and there. Both you and Cassie never took the bait.

As best as you could, you tried to avoid working the same shifts as Cassie. Luckily, Cassie's schedule is pretty set in stone since she works around Harrison. Even so, she still works a lot— just like you.

When you did work together, you went out of your way to avoid her. If someone assigned you on a case with her, you passed it off to someone else. If she was in the break room, you weren't. If she was talking to someone you needed to talk to, you just waited no matter how long.

Avoiding Cassie took such a toll on you that you ended up working night shifts every now and then. It fucked up your sleep schedule to go back and forth, but you couldn't fully commit to only working nights. Switching between night and day shifts to avoid Cassie was worth losing sleep over.

Today you were not on night shift. You were working the day and so was Cassie. So far you've been doing a pretty good job of not seeing her.

You round the corner and enter room two, where Samira should be. But when you open the door it's just a patient. Before you leave to go search for her, you decide to make sure this patient doesn't need anything.

You introduce yourself and grab his chart. Tommy Krill. A 30 year old white man who passed out in a bar due to dehydration. His brother brought him drunk and and high off of MDMA a little over an hour ago.

"Mr. Krill how are you feeling?" you ask as you walk over to his bed. He's groggy, he likely just barely woke up a few minutes ago. "Do you know where you—"

All of a sudden a fist hits your chest and you stumble back, not fully processing what's happening. Mr. Krill frantically pulls out the IV he's hooked up to and all of the monitors that are connected to him. He looks over to you. You're running out of the room.

He chases after you. "Hulahoop!" you yell out, "hulahoop!"

Jesse's at your side in the blink of an eye and steps between you and the man chasing after you. Donnie is there just a few seconds later, helping to restrain the patient.

"That bitch was trying to kill me!", Mr. Krill shouts over and over.

You lean against the wall of pedes, breathing heavily, adrenaline coursing through your veins. Your eyes are on the floor as you try to focus on your feet.

Faintly, you can hear someone calling your name. Multiple somebodies.

When you look up you see Robby and Dana rushing towards you.

"What the fuck happened?" Dana asks angrily.

"The patient in 6 attacked me."

Dana grabs your arm gently, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on your forearm. Her touch is a contrast to the anger in her face. It looks like Dana's about to kill someone.

Robby does his best to examine you while you stand there. "Are you hurt?" he asks.

"No, I'm fine. He did punch my chest, but I'm okay."

"That motherfucker", Dana mutters furiously.

"I just need a few minutes and then I'll be good to go back to work. I don't need a—"

"What the fuck? Are you okay, what happened?"

Out of nowhere, Cassie's now at your side. Concern and fear are written all over her face.

"No, no, I'm fine."

"You still need an examine", Robby tells you. "It's protocall. You can get back to work after if you want." His gaze meets yours, and he gives you a small nod. "I'm going to go pop in and check the son of a bitch who hit you."

"He hit you?!"

"Cassie, I'm fine."

"He punched her in her chest", Dana tells Cassie, her voice laced with rage. "Can you examine her? I'm going to call the police."

"Yeah, of course", Cassie says. She places a hand on your shoulder. "Come on."

Pushing off the wall, you rub your eyes. "I'm telling you I'm fine. Let's just make this as quick as possible."

Cassie nods, still clearly worried. She reluctantly takes her hand off of you. "South 16 is open", she says, her voice soft.

You don't say anything, you just walk over there. Now that the adrenaline is leaving your body, you feel a small ache under your boobs on the left side of your ribs.

Once you reach room 16, Cassie holds the door open for you. For a second you glance at her, but quickly look away after you make eye contact.

"Sit on the bed", she instructs you gently.

"Cassie—"

"Now", she says more firmly but still soft.

"Goddammit", you whisper to yourself as you sit on the edge of the bed.

Cassie untangles the stethoscope she has around her neck. You sit up straight as she comes closer, knowing the drill. "Any pain?" she asks as she puts the stethoscope over your heart.

"No", you lie.

"Take a deep breath for me."

You do as she says. Cassie then moves the stethoscope to the other side of your chest before checking your back.

"Your breathing is good."

"I could've told you that", you mutter.

Cassie places her stethoscope back around her neck, her hands gripping the ends as she looks at you. "Are you going to tell me where it hurts?"

"I told you I'm fine", you grumble, your gaze on your feet.

Cassie sighs and takes a step closer to you. "I'm gonna have to check for injury now."

"Fine."

Her eyes remain on you, just standing there before proceeding. Cassie places her right hand under your right breast. "Any pain?"

"No."

Cassie moves her hand to the left, lightly pressing. She touches a spot that makes you wince. You do your best to hide the hiss that started to slip out.

Crossing her arms, Cassie takes a step back. She says your name in a commanding tone that you know comes from concern. Reluctantly, you look up at her. "Let me see."

This is the first time since the parking garage that you've really looked at Cassie. She looks more tired than usual, like she hasn't been getting enough sleep.

"I'm fine", you say as you pull up your scrub top. "See?"

Cassie comes closer to you and crotches down slightly so that she can better see where you're hurting. Gently, Cassie presses down on that same spot.

Trying to hide a reaction, you take in a deep breath. But Cassie sees right through you.

She lingers, her hand resting on your side before she pulls back. "There's light bruising. It'll probably get a little darker, but not anything too bad."

"I told you I'm—"

"Fine, I know", Cassie cuts you off. You can't help the smile that wants to come out as she finishes your sentence.

Cassie notices you're fighting a smile which makes her smile.

You tug down your scrub top and look up at Cassie. "Thanks for examining me."

She nods with a small smile that shows her dimples. Then, she leans back on her heels. As Cassie's weight shifts to her toes, she puts her hands in her scrub pockets. "So, um... that guy really punched you?"

"Just my luck."

A small chuckle escapes Cassie. "At least you're okay." Then, she shakes her head in disbelief. "God, what an asshole."

"You could say that about all men", you half joke. "At least he doesn't hit that hard."

"Still hard enough to leave a bruise."

"I've been hurt worse."

Fuck, you didn't mean for that to come out the way it did. The tension in the room grows, but your eyes don't leave Cassie's.

"Uh... I mean physically. N-not emotionally."

"It's okay."

"Sorry", you say, almost a whisper.

"I told you to stop apologizing."

You raise your eyebrows, somewhat playfully.

"You're making me want to apologize for apologizing."

Cassie can't help but laugh which makes you do too. The air feels lighter. Happier. Right.

But as soon as your laughter fades, and you're left looking at one another, it feels heavier again.

"I mean it though. Seriously, don't ever apologize to me." Your head tilts slightly, trying to figure out what Cassie means. "You have nothing to be sorry for, and that includes apologizing for 'burdening me' because you aren't a burden."

Your heart stops. For a moment you forget how to breathe.

"You shouldn't have apologized for 'making me hate myself' because that's on me. Not you. It never was." With a bated breath, Cassie shifts her weight to her other foot and crosses her arms. "And you shouldn't have apologized for kissing me."

Like a deer in headlights, you are frozen. If you move, maybe you'll cry. You don't know what to say anyways. So you just sit there. Taking Cassie in. Her blue eyes seem dimmer, replaced by pain.

"I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry that you keep changing shifts because of me. I'm sorry for ever making you feel like you did something wrong because you didn't. I'm sorry I didn't ask you what you need, I just assumed I knew what was best. And I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you."

Cassie steps forward and grabs your right hand from below. You look down as she puts her other hand on top of yours. You're scared to look back up because you know if you look at Cassie you'll break.

"I never ever wanted to hurt you. I've missed seeing you around the ED. Way more than I thought I would." Cassie keeps one hand on yours while the other leaves and finds your chin. "Can you... look at me?"

You feel the nervousness in her voice because it's the same feeling flowing through you. Cassie tilts your chin just a little bit— not wanting to push you, but encourage you.

Your eyes shut as you lift your head up. Slowly, you open your eyes. Cassie's are staring down at you tenderly with a hint of vulnerability.

"What if...", Cassie looks away, the words she's trying to say are difficult for her to get out. "What if you find someone younger? That you like better?"

It feels like a piece of glass just cut your heart. You give her hand a comforting squeeze and place your other hand over hers. "Cass... that won't happen."

"How do you know for sure?", Cassie whispers, her voice trembling.

"Because as long as I know you, I know there won't ever be someone as kind or caring or beautiful." A salty tear falls down your cheek. "Cassie", your voice falters. "Um... look at me? Please?"

She does. She's met with a warm smile. Your warm smile.

Cassie sees the tear on your cheek and instinctively brings her hand to your face. She cups your cheek and her thumb gently brushes over your tear, erasing it. "Can, uh..." Cassie pauses, swallowing before continuing, "Is it alright if I kiss you?"

Right away, you nod. Without wasting any time, Cassie leans down and presses her lips against yours.

Your arms wrap around her neck while hers find your waist, sliding to your lower back. The kiss isn't messy, but it isn't soft either. All of the things you've been feeling for each other pour out into the kiss.

There's a knock at the door.

"Jesus", you mutter, startled. Cassie pulls back, but leaves her hands on your waist. She looks over her shoulder, and you peek around her.

Dana.

"I was just checking to see how, uh", Dana nods at you, "you're doin'."

"Oh, fine. I-I'm fine."

"I'm glad", she replies with a smug smirk. "The cops will be here within the next half hour for a statement." You nod. "Finish up in here and get back to work."

"Got it, Dana. We'll be out in a minute", Cassie says.

Dana looks at you, then Cassie, back at you, and then Cassie again, still smiling, before she leaves.

Cassie turns back to you, her face flushed. You giggle, finding it cute which makes her laugh.

She leans in and gives you a soft, promising kiss. When she pulls back her face seems lighter than it had been in a while.

"We have to get back to work", Cassie says as her hands reluctantly leave your hips.

"Yeah", you murmur. Slowly, you stand up. Cassie offers her hand to steady you which you don't need, but you take anyways.

"After work can we talk? A good talk, I promise."

With a chuckle, you nod. "Yes."

Cassie cups your face and gives you a doting forehead kiss. "Come on", she whispers.

You and Cassie leave the room and try to go about the rest of your shift like everything's normal. But both of you are smiley— way more than usual, especially in the last three weeks.

For someone who just got assaulted, you sure were visibly happy, unable to stop beaming.

"Cassie", you moan as she pushes you against her car, her lips attached to your neck. Your hands are exploring Cassie's back, and hers are caressing your sides up and down.

"Pocket", she mumbles against your jaw. "My keys are in my right pocket."

Cassie trails her kisses up to your mouth, devouring you as your hands find her scrub pants. You squeeze her ass before diving into her pocket to pull out her keys.

Panting, you pull back and hold up the keys in between you two. Cassie's eyes are filled with lust, reflecting yours. She takes the keys from you and unlocks her car. "Give me your bag", she orders.

Quickly, you slide your bag off of your shoulder and hand it to Cassie. She takes a step to the right and opens the passenger side door. Swiftly, she then throws her bag on the floor and yours on the passenger seat before looking back at you.

"Um... do you want to go in the back?" Cassie asks you nervously, her confidence faltering.

Right away, you spin around and open the back door of her car and climb in. Cassie follows behind you. Once she's in, she closes the door and you throw yourself at her.

Your arms wrap around Cassie's neck and you kiss her hard. Her head rests against the side window, and her hands find your hips. You moan when her tongue tangles with yours, deep and needy.

Slowly, Cassie pushes off the car door and leans forward into you. She keeps one hand on your hip, her grip tight, and the other finds the back of your head. Cassie pulls you to her as close as possible, your kiss deepening even further. She then lowers you onto your back, her lips never leaving yours.

Cassie's mouth trails down your neck, sucking a mark on the right side. She mumbles your name against your skin, which makes you moan.

Cassie gives your neck a few soft kisses over the spot she was just sucking, and then pulls back to look at you. "I don't usually do this. But I haven't gotten laid in years and I like you so much. Sorry if the car is uncomfortable. If you want to stop let—"

You plow your lips against hers, cutting her off which elicits a moan from her. Your hands are on the back of her neck, pushing her into you. You pull back just to put your mouth on her jaw, giving her wet, sloppy kisses.

Just enough so you can speak, you pull back in between kisses. "It's kind of hot", you say, smirking against your skin. "I've always wanted to try car sex. Guess I never found the right person."

"Until now", Cassie says as one of her hands trails down your chest — making sure to avoid where that patient punched you — to your stomach until she reaches the end of your scrub top. She places a hand underneath the grey fabric onto your stomach while you nibble on her neck.

You tug at the hem of Cassie's scrubs. "Can I take this off?"

Immediately Cassie nods, her hands leave you as she rushes to take her top off, you helping. After her scrub top is discarded, she leans down to capture your lips.

While Cassie maps out the inside of your mouth with her tongue, your hands find Cassie's back, and your fingers work on unhooking her bra.

After her bra comes undone, she shrugs it off. Cassie then scoots back and eagerly hikes up your scrub top along with the tank top you have underneath it. She kisses and licks your sensitive stomach, your breath hitching. Slowly, Cassie kisses her way up to your sternum. When she reaches your bra, she pulls back and fists the fabric of your top.

"Arms up."

You do as Cassie intructs. She swiftly discards your top, followed by your tank top. You arch your back so Cassie can unclasp your bra. She does so with ease, throwing it on the car floor.

Cassie admires you for a few moments. And then she dives down, putting her mouth on your right breast. As she sucks and licks your plump flesh there, you put your hands on the back of her neck.

Cassie trails fiery kisses to the other side of your chest, taking your hardened nipple into her mouth, softly biting. You let out a small moan. She keeps sucking and nibbling, and you take out Cassie's ponytail.

The second her hair is down, your grab a fist full, desperately needing something to hold onto. You direct Cassie back up to your face, kissing her hard.

Her hips roll into your lower half. A moan escapes Cassie which you devour instantly. You can tell she's growing more and more needy.

"Cassie", you murmur against her mouth.

"Hm?"

"Switch."

Cassie pulls back slightly, taking in your flushed face before she moves off of you. You sit up, moving out of the way so Cassie can lay down.

Once she's in your former spot, you hook your fingers in her scrub bottoms and look at her for permission. She nods, her face already red and sweaty. You pull down both her pants and underwear. When they hit her ankles she kicks them off along with her shoes.

As fast as you can, you kick your shoes off too. You then turn back to Cassie, her entrancing blue eyes on you. Your left knee is at Cassie's side on the backseat, and your other leg dangles off the seat, your right foot touching the floor.

You lean down, once again capturing her lips with yours. Cassie grips your hips tightly, pulling you to her. You trail your right hand down her chest, to her stomach, and then to her core.

Cassie gasps and her nails dig into your hips. Your fingers move down her already soaked slit. Still kissing Cassie, you slowly slide one finger inside of her.

A groan leaves Cassie's mouth and goes into yours. She pulls back from your kiss just enough to mewl, "God, baby."

Her words send a shiver down your spine. You put your middle finger inside her cunt, joining your pointer finger. Cassie's hips jerk forward involuntarily.

As you pump your fingers in and out, your thumb finds her clit, gently pressing against it. Cassie bucks up into your touch, moaning. She takes her mouth off of yours and leans up to kiss your neck.

You curl your fingers inside her in a way that makes Cassie whimper. Your thumb starts to draw circles over her clit. "Right there", she whines against your red, kissed out skin.

Your fingers work faster, and Cassie's hips chase your hand. She lets out several moans, the sound going straight to your core. You feel her clench around your fingers as she lets out a raspy groan.

Your hand slows down as Cassie comes down from her orgasm. She's slightly embarrassed at how fast she came undone, but you couldn't care less— if anything you find it hot.

Once Cassie's hips come to a stop, you pull out your fingers which are now drenched in her arousal. You pepper a few kisses on her jaw.

"Fuck", she murmurs. Cassie grabs the back of your head firmly but not rough, and puts your mouth on hers. She takes your lower lip between her teeth for a few seconds before releasing it. "I wanna taste you."

"Cassie", you whine.

She lifts you off of her, and then sits up. Without saying anything, Cassie looks at you, her eyes dark, and points at the backseat where she just was.

Right away, you lie back. Cassie urgently pulls down your pants. Once they're off she leans down and presses light kisses on your throbbing cunt through your underwear.

"Please, Cassie", you say through a moan.

She looks up at you, a smirk growing on her lips. "Look at you", she murmurs. "So fucking beautiful."

A needy whine leaves you. Cassie chuckles and hooks her finger in the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down. She grabs your right leg and places it over her left shoulder, and then puts her hand on the inside of your left thigh, pushing it out.

Cassie takes you in, all spread out and needy for her. When she looks into your eyes, they're clouded by desire, silently begging for Cassie to give you some kind of release.

Finally, she lowers herself down to you. Cassie presses kisses in between your thighs tantalizingly slow, making you squirm. When she finally reaches your center, her lips attach to your clit which makes you moan.

Cassie swirls her tongue around your bundle of nerves. Your hands move to her head, and you push her messy bangs to the side so you can better look at her.

You gasp as Cassie spreads your lips apart with her tongue. The needy whimpers that you let out spur her on. Cassie drags her tongue down to your opening, pushing in.

"Fuck, Cassie."

She hums, pleased, and keeps moving her tongue against your pussy. You can't help it as your hips jut forward, needing more.

Cassie looks up at you with half-lidded eyes. You let out a soft moan which makes Cassie groan into you, the vibrations only bringing you closer to the edge.

She comes up for a breath and licks her lips which almost makes you cum right then and there.

Cassie puts her mouth on your clit again. She sucks and bites, making you writhe beneath her.

Your hips roll into Cassie's face as she brings you closer and closer to the release you so desperately need. Her nails dig into your hips— you just know there's going to be marks tomorrow.

Cassie looks up at you as she continues to lap up every inch of your cunt. "Come for me, baby", she tells you in her soft doctor voice.

Your head throws back against the seat, and your eyelids flutter shut. Cassie's mouth pushes into you harder as you arch up into her. You let out a shaky moan and grip Cassie's hair so tight like you're trying to rip her hair out. Your orgasm washes over you, your legs shaking, and a single tear rolls down your cheek.

Cassie's mouth remains on you as she helps you ride out your thigh. Her grip on your hips slowly loosens. You lie under her with your eyes shut, catching your breath.

You feel a few gentle pecks on the inside of your thighs before Cassie sits up. She leans against the headrest of the seat on the right side and looks over to you.

Gently, Cassie grabs your wrist, pulling you up. "Come here", she murmurs.

Cassie pulls you onto her lap, her arms immediately wrapping around you. She places a long, tender kiss on the top of your head as your sweaty bodies connect.

"Sorry, I, uh... that wasn't really a talk", Cassie says.

You burst out in laughter, Cassie doing the same upon hearing your infectious laugh. It's music to her ears and hers is to yours.

You shrug. "I don't mind."

Still smiling, Cassie kisses your temple. "Do you want to maybe come over? No pressure", she says somewhat nervously. It only makes you smile, finding it cute. "We could, uh, well tomorrow after work you could grab your car. Oh, and we could stop and get takeout. If-if you want..."

Your head drops to Cassie's shoulder. "Cassie?"

"Yeah?" she asks, looking down at you.

You give her a soft kiss on her shoulder before resting your head against her again. "That's perfect."

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. You had your favorite coffee in hand. And your girl at your side.

Maybe it was the Cassie haze you were still in that was clouding your vision, but it was such a perfect day.

As you and Cassie walk over to the hospital, you don't say anything, but every now and then you look at each other smiling and blushing. It takes everything in you to not hold her hand right now. The last thing either of you need are people gossiping about you guys.

When you make it into the hospital, you and Cassie drop your belongings off in your lockers, and then head into the ED.

Robby and a few other day shift staff members are gathered at the hub. Dana, Javadi, Santos, Whitaker, Perlah, and Princess were the only ones here yet.

You take a step away from Cassie, leaving a bigger gap as you both approach the rest of the group. You're greeted by smiles.

Dana steps forward and gives you a hug. Her hugs always feel like getting hugged by your mom when you were scared or upset as a child.

"How you feeling today?" she asks.

"I'm good, there's just a little bruising, but it doesn't hurt", you answer before taking a sip of your coffee.

"Yeah, right, it doesn't hurt", Cassie says with a scoff.

You side eye her and place your coffee on the desk next to you. "I'm fine."

"Holy shit", Javadi says, her eyes wide.

Confused, you look at her. "What?"

"Did the patient who assaulted you do that?" Javadi asks, concerned as she points at your neck.

Still confused, you pinch your brows together, and then attempt to look down to see what Javadi is pointing at.

Oh.

Your eyes shoot up. You rack your brain for what to say, but you can't think of anything.

"Hm", Dana says, examining the mark. "It's oddly mouth shaped." She smirks and looks at you and then Cassie, quick enough to not arouse suspicion.

"Oh, uh..." Everyone is looking at you confused. Everyone besides Santos who's trying to hide a smile, Dana who still has a smirk on her face, and Cassie.

Cassie who's trying so hard not to smile but failing. You glare at her. But that only makes it harder for Cassie to fight back a smile.

She grabs the nearest clipboard to her and raises it to her mouth as she stifles a laugh. You're still staring at her, but you can see in her eyes that she's smug— proud of the lovebite she marked you with.

Robby looks between you two a few times, and then claps his hand together. "Okay", he draws out. Robby turns to you. "You're not in pain, correct? All the... bruising is normal?"

"Uh, um, yeah", you stutter out.

"Then back to work people", he orders.

As people disperse, your eyes find Cassie's again. She's still fighting back laughter. You continue to glare at her, but slowly a smile creeps up on your face.

At the same time, you burst out in laughter.

Perlah and Princess turn to each other. In Tagalog, Princess murmurs to Perlah, "I would have fifty dollars in my pocket right now if you took me up on that bet from a few weeks ago."

Perlah shakes her head with a small smile. "Betting that two people who so clearly love each other will stop making eyes at each other is stupid."

Princess and Perlah turn to look at you and Cassie, and see you giggling with one another. You're in your own bubble. The only people on your radar are each other.

After weeks of tension and avoidance, this morning you're closer than ever before. Beaming and laughing at each other's side.

Most of your coworkers don't know what changed or just shrug it off. But the few that know? They're thrilled.

But it doesn't even come close to how estatic you and Cassie are.