âMy mum says thereâs no such thing as bad wishes or bad feelings. She says what you actually do is more important than what you just think about,â Enid told him. âYouâre allowed to be upset, or nervous, or angry. I wouldnât blame you for being angry. It sounds like your dad and your mum are arguing about you without asking you how you feel.â
Just because Scorpius was only eight years old didnât mean he couldnât have his own opinions. If Uncle Draco and Astoria really wanted to do what was best for their son, they needed to listen to him first.
She tugged Scorpius a little closer and said, âMaybe you could tell her that spending the summer with her feels like too much all at once? That you think she needs to start smaller? I mean, I canât promise sheâll listen, but at least youâll have said it, yeah?â
Enid would have suggested asking her own mum to intervene on Scorpiusâ behalf, but she paid too much attention to things to genuinely think that was a good idea. Sheâd already noticed that Astoria didnât seem to like her mum very much.
â Iâm not ...â angry, he began. The word remained unspoken -- a lie, but Scorpius was not a liar and he wouldnât start now, not with Enid. A deep breath filled his small form, chest slowly rising and falling a great distance.Â
He was angry. He was angry that his mum wasnât how he pictured her, he was angry that she left, angry that she came back, angry that he hadnât known her his entire life... Scorpius was angry, but it was a soggy anger. An anger thatâd been left out in the rain and forgotten.
â I donât know how I feel. All I know is, I want things to go back to how they were.â Scorpius began again, his fingers pulling at a loose strand on the arm of his favorite jumper. It began to unravel. He could hear Aunt Pansyâs playfully scolding voice somewhere in the back of his head going on about treating the things you like nicely, but it didnât matter, because everything was changing and tomorrow he may very well hate this jumper.
Scorpius wanted to spwnd his summer reading in the garden and listen to his father tinker in the study through the open window. He wanted to get ice cream with his nan, and spend weekends with Owen, Enid, and Auntie Theo. But none of that seemed to matter.
â Maybe...â he continued, voice an unbalanced teeter-totter. Enid was right, he needed to let his dad and mum-not-mum know how he felt. He needed to be brave. â I think telling my dad first might be better. He listens -- well, he tires to listen anyway. Then when he knows Iâll tell her. â