Illustrations and Things

Slowly coming back to consciousness, Dave shielded his eyes as he opened them to the dim light, and immediately noticed the lack of shades on his face. As he took survey of the place, his hand brushed over the dark stone floor and lighter cobbled walls surrounding him. A heavy weight rested against his ankle, weighing his leg down. A curious pull confirmed a chain dragged along with it.

“It's about time you're awake.” Dave sluggishly looked to the source of the voice. It was a troll, sitting with his back against the wall and his knees drawn against his chest, casually resting his chin on top. He was wearing a black shirt and pants with bright red detailing. Within his black mess of hair, Dave could make out the smallest troll horns he'd ever seen. The troll immediately and noisily cleared his throat. “'Hello, my name is …' that's usually how people greet each other, fuckface. Not by staring.”

He looked away, taking note that the troll was probably insecure about his horns. Dave would assume he'd be too, if they were on display for everyone to judge. “I didn't mean to stare, dude. Sorry.” Usually he'd have a much better comeback than that, but that usually fell under the pretense of not having to rewire his brain at the same time.

The troll just huffed and sat there, still in the same position. “Whatever.”

Inch by inch, Dave eventually scooted himself over to the wall to rest his back against it. He could feel the heat leave his body through the thin shirt he wore, warming the stone beneath it. His mind started to come back online with each minute that passed, and eventually he knew he'd have to get to know his new charming roommate.

“Hello, my name is Dave,” he started.

“Hello, Dave.”

Dave waited for the troll to follow through and give his name in return. After a few minutes, he wasn't sure he was going to get it. “So, what should I call you?”

“I'm surprised you haven't heard of me yet. Not been paying attention to all the wanted posters plastered around, have you?” The troll mused with an emotion Dave could only describe as pissed boredom. “I'm Karkat.”

Karkat. That name did sound familiar. Dave had never been able to put a face to the name before, though. “You were the leader of the rebellion.”

“Still am. This is just a... sweep long setback.” His voice trailed as realization set in. Karkat lifted his chin off his knees. “Why'd they put you in here? Kill anyone noteworthy?”

“Unless that someone was disguised as a deer, no. I was out hunting and now... well, surprise. I’m here.”

“Where specifically were you out hunting?”

“Some forest that's a few miles away from my apartment. Just a place I found after all the other places had been picked clean once people started to figure out the stores weren't opening back up.”

Karkat sat, mulling things over. “They probably thought you were part of the rebellion. There's a little forest that we used as a base of operations for a while. Humans never really stepped foot in it.”

Dave rested his head against the cold wall as he countered, “I never saw a troll around there, either.”

“Because we were good at keeping out of sight.” Karkat pulled his knees against his chest and rested his chin on them once again, “most of the time.”

A stretch of silence passed before Dave asked, “Do you know what they're planning on doing with us?”

“I've overheard a few things.” Karkat spoke quietly, “not fun things.”

Dave waited for him to continue, but Karkat stayed quiet after that. Dave could only assume death wasn't on that list. Well, it probably was, but it's at the very bottom of the list. Buried under all the other fun things they had to do first like some macabre grocery list. Death was right next to the apple juice. Can't forget that apple juice.

As he mulled over what else was on that list, a tall figure stepped up to their cell door and blocked out most of the fluorescent light. The already dim room went further into darkness. “Good morning, Karkat.” The figure turned to look at Dave before adding, “and human.” Dave tried to make out the figure's face, but the back lighting was too bright for his shade-less sensitive eyes to adjust to. “I have something for the both of you today.” The guard unlocked the door with one hand while balancing a tray with the other.

As he stepped into the dim light of the cell, Dave could finally see some of his features. The troll wore a smart dark blue and black outfit that only accentuated his body. His horns were much longer than many of the other trolls Dave had met, and that list definitely now included Karkat. “I hope you like my cooking. We recently had to let the chef go, so I've been given the task of preparing the meals this week.”

Dave watched as the tray was set in front of him. “Just let the chef go?” He looked down at the suspicious stew sitting there.

“Yeah, he didn't show up for work. Three strikes and all that.”

“He's not with us in spirit, is he?”

“What the fuck are you getting at?”

“He wants to know if you murdered the chef, cut him up, and served him in a bowl.”

“OH.” The guard let out a deep laugh, “no, that was Tuesday's special. You missed it.”

Dave slowly dug the spoon in to the stew, trying to figure out what the chunks were.

“This, however, is most definitely the janitor.” He said dryly as he pocketed the cell key.

Dave slowly let go of the spoon, uninterested in finding out if the guard was joking or not.

“Dave, it's not the janitor, either.”

“Ok, you got me.” The guard slowly clapped his hands. “You got me.” He sat down next to Karkat and put his arm around the smaller troll's shoulders. “It's babies.”

“For fuck's sake.” Karkat groaned. “No, Dave. Not babies.”