Chuck Called Me Handsome Behind An Arby’s Once

Eat the whole tube of pringles, you deserve it

I’m gonna feed you like a Roman emperor

*sniffling* you humans are all so horny

make little remote control jaegers that go around whacking people’s shins

Give @maxhansensuggestion five bones to go pee on @tendochoisuggestion

I’d do it for free

FROG DOG FROG DOG FROG DOG FROG DOG

realise very quickly that you do not take max for a walk, max takes you for a walk

Go swimming

I’d join you but @maxhansensuggestion chewed my armbands

They were crunchy

catch me walking round w/o pants then

me and Dad know that’s not exactly a departure from the norm

like chuck’s boyfriend more than chuck because he feeds me under the table

hope you like bacon bagels buddy I made some Max sized snacks just for u

when you say max sized.... you mean like a kaiju leg bone right?

create your own binder with pockets to store even more snacks than before !

they’re all dog treats because tendo loves me The Most

Make fun of Raleigh as a substitute for developing a personality and focusing on adult responsibilities

adult responsibilities? i did not think you were aware that those exist

Excuse you, I have a dog

he has a phd in Loving Dog

:D!!!

theoretically, how long could i hide a cat before the marshal notices?

loudly complain about how difficult it is to sleep without someone’s arms around you,,,