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My piece for the @dcfanmadezines Local lesbian aunt and her bi nephew hanging out after a hard night day of work.

You want Jason angst? Sure.

Jason was never held by Sheila when he was born. Sheila told the nurses that she didn't want to hold him and she never even touched him. She abandoned him as soon as she could.

Jason tried to die faster when the Joker was beating him so Bruce wouldn't have to come save him and the Joker would have no reason to hurt Shelia so neither would be put in danger.

Jason cried for his mom when the Joker was beating him.

The last thought Jason had was guilt because if he had just been happy having the family he had, nobody would be dying.

Jason has issues around food security, he panics internally if he believes that he won't have enough food to see him through the week, he always has food at every safe house. Some people make fun of him for having a big appetite but he really doesn't because he wants to save food for later just in case.

Willis never actually hit Jason, he just emotionally neglected and verbally abused him. Jason has a fear of grown men raising their voice around him that triggers a freeze or fawn reaction that he works hard not to show once he's grown up.

The thing that kills Jason most about Catherine OD'ing was the fact that she was doing so well beforehand, she was almost a week clean and then he got home from school, clutching his report card and found her dead in the apartment.

Jason thinks he will never find real love because nobody would want a mess like him nor is he good enough for anybody.

Jason was almost trafficked by one of Catherine's dealers when she couldn't pay her debt. Jason remembers one of the dealers trying to get him into a car on the street once after being all friendly with him whenever he was around. Jason later put the pieces together and tries to believe that she didn't know but knows deep down that she was too out of it to save him if something did happen.

Willis used to take Jason to the park sometimes and let him run around. Willis was always trying to be a good dad whenever he got out of prison after a stint but it always ended up the same: a few days of fun and presents and laughter and then Willis would be giving Jason packages to 'look after' or end up getting banged up by cops and sent to prison all over again.

Jason was always worried about Bruce's partyboy lifestyle and had a plan in case Bruce OD'ed or started using or drinking more. It was only after he flinched when Bruce came home smelling of booze (he was sober but spilled drinks over himself to give the appearance of being sloppily drunk) that he had to admit his fears to Bruce.

Jason broke in and lived in the apartment after CPS tried to take him (they didn't really try find him after he bolted) but when the landlord found out, he had to leave. He only managed to grab a picture of his mom and dad, taken on his first birthday when things were good and his favourite plushie and then he was homeless

On the streets, Jason had to turn his hand to anything to keep himself fed. He stole tires, siphoned petrol, picked pockets, went through dumpsters. He learned to sleep in libraries and community centres during the day and stayed alert at night which helped later when he was Robin, because being a kid on the streets at night? Scary. Jason had to do a lot to survive, much of which he doesn't like talking about, a lot that he forces himself to 'forget'.

Jason was so sure that Bruce and Batman was never meant to be forever, he had gone down the road of 'forever' so many times but near the end, he really started to think of Bruce as family, maybe a real dad not just legally.

Jason sometimes holds on an extra second whenever somebody hugs him.

Jason used to write Alfred a birthday card every year after his resurrection but never sent it. When Alfred died, Jason asked that the undertaker bury Alfred with the unsent cards and letters.

Jason doesn't know where his mom (Catherine) is buried or if she was. He's too scared to find out she's in some common grave or cremated as she did believe in that.

Jason was horrifically tormented at school. He was an excellent student but teachers and students and even parents of kids treated him like trash and never really considered him one of their own. He never told Bruce. When he died, they named a wing of the school in his memory to butter up Bruce. Jason later burned it down.

Jason had issues with his body image pre death. He was too skinny but not slender like Dick and his jumps and turns are always off because of that, he was a late bloomer, he was too short, he thought he was going to look like a scrawny little kid forever.

Jason bonded with Talia at the LOA, considered her as sort of mother figure but she quickly got him out of that mindset because that sentimentality is what got him killed in the first place.

Sometimes when Bruce hugs Jason spontaneously, Jason freezes because he doesn't know why Bruce is hugging him and just as his brain is starting to catch up the moment is over.

Jason still has nightmares about the pit, the grave and his death. He has bad PTSD episodes, when stressed he can hallucinate vividly. Sometimes when he feels wet earth or gets splinter or learns a shrill laugh, he has an urge to leave and go somewhere else and most of the time, the best way to do that, is to cause a fight with the nearest person to cover it up.

Roy meets Jason after the whole resurrection thing and they both hit it off but it's nothing romantic at first. They're friends. That is Dick's kid brother. I repeat. Dick's. Little. Brother. Who for some reason came back looking like an entire buffet and Roy is starving. Roy who keeps trying to distance himself from Jason because 1) Roy doesn't like men 2) he's nearly sure Jason isn't gay either 3) that's Dick's brother.

And then there's Jason who always had a crush on Roy that he chalked down to admiration when he was a kid but nope, Jason has had a crush on him since he was 12. And it's really weird for the both of them, Jason is pining after Roy like a Victorian tragic widow and Roy keeps getting this stitch in his chest when Jason plays with Lian and he misses him whenever he's not around.

Eventually, after a night on the town, they end up hooking up and neither can look at each other for the longest while. Until Dick finds out and he's yelling and screaming and both of them are like, "you know what? Screw him, I'm getting me some of that".

Neither of them label themselves as gay or bi, they don't even like dudes. They're just in love and sleeping together.

They've discussed having more kids, Jason wants to give up the vigilante life if they do and be a stay at home dad and Roy wants to move out of the city but they don't feel ready yet

They don't like the idea of a wedding but marriage? They're sorta married already aren't they? They get Babs to knock up a marriage certificate and they wear wedding bands.

Dick : Okay, fuck, I have to ask... are you two dating?!

Roy : What? No.

jason’s inability to admit he’s in over his head vs roy’s inability to admit he’s in over his head FIGHT. Roy’s issues with authority and control vs Jason’s issues with authority and control FIGHT.

roy’s separation anxiety/and or fear of abandonment somehow triples. roy obsessing with building a nursery. his engineer brain is going to make the worlds best mobile. the baby monitor might as well be a mini panic room. roy seeing every failure as a personal affront quadrupling.

lian won’t stop calling them gross. she’s a preteen or teenager. roy tries to have the “just because there’s a baby doesn’t mean we don’t love you talk” and she’s like “i don’t care. i won’t be used as a babysitting service.” (ollie and bruce are fist fighting in a diner parking lot over babysitting rights anyway)

ollie and bruce having to come to terms with being in-laws.

dick won’t stop calling roy a cradle robber.

tim’s blue screened because he didn’t know jason’s trans.

steph and jason bond and become besties. steph finds delight in telling jason the gorey details of pregnancy.

jason with post-partum depression. post partum-psychosis.

bruce who gets one look at his grandchild and immediately starts planning retirement. none of them want to be batman. they’re all fervently foiling his plans.

-

“What did you do?”

“Nothing, yet.” He smirks, knowing Roy can’t see him but will hear it in his voice regardless. “How do you feel about spousal testimonial privilege?”

“How do I—Jason Peter Todd, are you asking me to marry you?”

“I mean, you already agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. No take backs now, Harper.” Roy lets out an incredulous laugh on the other end of the line.

“You’re the most unromantic man I’ve ever met. I’ll see you at four.”

“I love you,” Jason says, and is suddenly aware that every agent in the room is staring at him.

“I love you too.” Roy laughs again, and hangs up.

“Did you just propose to your boyfriend over the phone?” Diana asks, incredulous.

-

“How long have you two been together?” Thomas asks.

Jason says seven years. Roy says three weeks.

“Oh boy,” one of the people in front of them jokes. Their names are Rita and Danica. They’ve been together for two years, but they’ve known each other longer. They even have a dog.

“Jay, baby, it’s literally been three weeks. Almost to the day.” Roy says.

“We’ve been partners for seven years though.” Jason counters.

“Not romantically though!”

-

“I walked into work and it was on the news and I just realized that we could do that so I called.” Jason says sheepishly.

“Hey, I mean, that's us, love.” Roy points out. “We can only hope that Lian—holy fucking shit, Lian!” He looks at Jason with wide eyes.

“We forgot Lian.”

-

“Do you, Roy William Harper,” the judge starts.

“I do.” Roy interrupts. She looks over her glasses at him.

“Too early.”

Jason laughs at him.

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband…” she continues.

Their entwined hands are shaking. It could be Jason or Roy, he’s not sure, but it doesn’t matter because they’re going to be one in about thirty seconds.

“...till death do you part?”

“Actually,” or maybe not thirty seconds, “can you say ‘till forever instead?”

Aw man, now Jason’s gonna cry again.

“To love and to cherish,” the judge repeats, “until forever?”

“I do.” Roy smiles at him, and loosens his death grip on his hands just to squeeze them three times.

“Do you, Jason—”

“Can you say forever for me too?” Jason interrupts. “Not having the death part is important actually. But ‘till forever’ sounds weird, can you say ‘for forever’ instead?”

One of their witnesses is laughing at them.

“—take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health—”

He might not actually be able to say ‘I do’ through the emotion absolutely overwhelming his windpipe.

“—to love and to cherish, for forever?”

“I do.” He whispers.

“Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now—”

It’s too late, they’re already kissing.

-Burning Red by caffeinatedbasil