Shipping Underworld

His organization had been running smoothly in its sudden upbringing and for a while Dipper had been wishfully thinking that it would succeed in its mission with no immense obstacles. And then that occurred. Boom! Dipper’s fist ferociously came in contact with his desk as his anger boiled. There wasn’t a real reason to be this upset. Bill should be treated as a minor threat, Dipper tried to convince himself. But unfortunately for Dipper he knew the button-pushing urchin far better than to underestimate him.

The door creaked open and Mabel accompanied by Stan entered his office. “Dipper? Are you all right? We heard the noise. Is it about you-know-who?” Mabel was fidgeting and Stan had a drop of concern revealed from his stoic mask. Dipper wanted to scream and kick and go back to being a small six year old who couldn’t control his temper yet. He wanted to take the two out to find Team Aqua’s base and show Bill what exactly he thought of him waltzing back into his life like he owned Dipper and everything Dipper worked for.

What ended up happening was Dipper sighing for the umpteenth time today and saying bitterly, “His name’s Bill Mabel, nothing will happen if you say his name. I’m fine, by the way, just stressed a little.” Mabel pursed her lips but said nothing. Then there was a deadly silence for a few minutes. Dipper sat up a little straighter and spoke in a business-like tone, “Go make sure the grunts are doing their job admins.” Mabel smiled at this and Stan chuckled under his breath. “Of course Boss Dipper! The Great Mabel and Stan are out!”

Bill was mindlessly traveling along some water routes when a certain conversation caught his attention. A rough voice started, it was obviously groggy and there were tints of fear in it. “Ugh why are we even here anyway, it’s just water everywhere. Aren’t we supposed to be focusing on expanding land?” “Hehehe c’mon Boss Dipper the water’s not that bad,” replied a much lighter voice with glee. A third voice interfered with a slight teasing tone, “Leader Dipper will….. malfunction…..” The comment led to fits of laughter and groaning from the other two.

Bill stifled some laughter himself and started to near the trio. He knew them well from before and why it was just the perfect time for a nice visit. “Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Robot! How nice to see you three again!” “Thing Two’s name is Mabel-” “The Great Mabel, Boss Dipper!” “Uh yeah sure, anyways. Thing Two’s name is the Great Mabel and Thing Robot’s name is Stan.” Bill smiled widely. Oh this was going to be fun.

“Oh! I know what you’re going to say next! Ahem. ‘And thing one’s name is the Great Dipper leader of whatever team this is!’ Hahaha I’m totally right.” “Team Magma. We’re called Team Magma. What’s your team’s name huh Bill?” “Team Aqua. And I can tell you right now Team Aqua can kick Team Magma’s ass to the curb!” “Hehehe that would only happen over Boss Dipper’s dead body. Team Aqua may as well suck our asses while he’s in charge.” “Actually sucking our asses would be too high of an honor for them, Mabel,” Dipper retaliated. “Make them....-” “Alright Stan don’t you think that’s enough words for this week,” Bill said trying to get the conversation back on his track.

“Now I don’t have my beloved admins by my side right now but if I did, well Team Magma would really learn its place.” “All bark… No bite,” Stan rudely interrupted. “Well anyways, be sure to expect a match next time we meet my dear rivals.” With that Bill left quickly, leaving a baffled Dipper, Mabel, and Stan. Not as fun as expected but still fun.

Bill’s next destination was the Team Aqua hideout. There he found his admins and begun to explain. “There’s a new group in town and they call themselves Team Magma. Their goal is to expand land, which is getting in the way of our plans. So we will be trying to stop them and they will be doing the same.” “So what you’re saying here Bro, is that we’ve finally got rivals,” replied Soos. He was a bulky man and looked up to Bill. His voice roughened up through the years of being with Bill and it was much more intimidating than when they first met. “Exactly Soos.” “Aw man we’re a real team now this is so awesome.”

A pop of bubblegum stopped the celebrations, signaling that Pacifica was about to start on a tangent. “Well I’d like to know more about our new rivals? What’s their names, their game, how much of an advantage we’ve got on them?” Pacifica hadn’t changed one bit with her plenty of years with Bill. Still rotten with grudges that last lifetimes. “Well Pacific, our old friends Mabel, Dipper, and Stan will be trying to foil us.” “Mabel is on Team Magma? You know Bill I joined this team for being able to wreak havoc on small children but now? Oh man Bill, Christmas came early!” “Stan sounds pretty familiar Bro.” "Hmm. He's known."

The mistletoe arrangement was a rather odd one, with one adoring every hallway and door. It was Archie’s doing no doubt. Maxie sighed only slightly annoyed. As long as he stuck to empty rooms and routes he would be saved from the misery and embarrassment that mistletoe brought forth. Boy was he glad this was only once a year. Too bad the year flies impossibly fast.

Maxie trekked through Team Aqua’s hideout and with each step he found another mistletoe. It was extremely over the top in his opinion. Luckily enough the passageways were empty. Everyone was probably in their rooms minding their own business or perhaps in a different place entirely. Which was extremely strange. He was expecting a few grunts loitering about. But none? Maxie had a feeling Archie was up to something and for once he didn't want to be right.

Going quickly through teleporters and corners Maxie found that his assumption was indeed correct. When he reached Archies office the lights were dim and hanging from the doorway like a noose was a mistletoe. "Well Maxie you can't fight tradition," Archie appeared then, making sure that between them was that damn mistletoe. "I highly doubt that. Now I believe I was called here for serious business not for silly little antics."

"Well you see Maxie, Christmas is a serious business matter!" Maxie scoffed at that. "If you don't have a little fun you're going to die at the age of 50." "I'm perfectly content with that." Archie was silent for a minute and then he smiled. Oh that can't be good. "Well Maxie you've entered the hideout and everyone in the hideout must follow the traditions!" "So?" Archie pointed up to the mistletoe dangling above their heads. Of course.

"Absolutely not Archie, that's a ridiculous idea and I refuse!" "C'mon just a quick peck on the lips Maxie, stop being so prude." Maxie closed his eyes in frustration and opened his mouth to protest. However Archie decided to take advantage and their mouths quickly met. It was quick and a little sloppy but when they parted Maxie was redder than Team Magma's uniform.

                “And I will make you learn your lesson,” Wirt quietly finished out loud. His gaze was transfixed on the other end of the lunch table. There Dipper and Sarah conversed being very friendly. Whispering, smiling, laughing, he swore he saw Dipper blush at one point. It sickened him to his stomach.

                Mabel’s voice brought him back to reality before he could write another poem about how much he wanted to puke. “Wirt, answer me.” The tone was demanding and Wirt knew better than to disobey her. “Oh, sorry I guess I wasn’t paying much attention. What was your question?” “What did you say?” “Oh it was nothing just me talking to myself.” A pause. Mabel stared at Wirt trying to piece him together. But that was her brother’s territory for Mabel shook it off and smiled. “You’re so much like Dipper!” The comment made him smile. As she returned to talking animatedly about her day to the others Wirt returned to that end.

                Sarah was a beauty. Short black hair with tanned skin that was like no other. Wirt was a bland vanilla compared to her exciting caramel. Which was the exact reason he needed her to stop talking to Dipper. Wirt could barely compete with someone moderately pretty. Let alone a very pretty girl. That was how the world worked wasn’t it. Girls always had more shots with boys than boys. Society made sure of it.

`              Continuing his glares, he saw Dipper blush furiously and then proceed to ask Sarah something. Sarah answered and slowly Dipper’s head started to turn to him. Wirt whipped his head back to Mabel. “So I was about to go ham on him but I got a good look and he was so cute.” He tuned her out already knowing where this was going. Putting an elbow on the table and resting his head on his palm Wirt wondered if Dipper had already turned back to Sarah. Cautiously turning his head back to the cursed end of the table he saw Dipper and Sarah at it again. Gee why don’t you just date already and forget all about me.

                Wirt needed Dipper’s full attention on him or else Sarah will come steal him away. Ugh this feels like Jason Funderburker all over again. He wondered what would grab Dipper’s attention the most. Certainly not a sudden outburst but something else. Slowly he tuned-in Mabel again. “But then Waddles ate the muffin! Dipper got soooo mad. Except he didn’t do anything because he knew Waddles couldn’t help himself! Or was it because he knew that I would get sad if he did anything to Waddles?” That was it! Dipper observed closely to any attention Mabel got, even if it was positive. Mabel was Dipper’s first priority.

                Slowly taking his clarinet out of his bag he asked Mabel the one question that would pull her in. “Hey Mabel, you like One Direction right?” “They’re 5 cute boys who sing, how could I not like them!!” Perfect. “I know a few of their songs, want to make sure I’m getting the tempo and what not right?” “Oh is this for those clarinet concerts you’re always having? Why do people go to those anyways?” “People do weird things when they’re favorite song is mentioned.”

                Taking in a deep breath, Wirt decided to play Diana as it was one he had to play often. The notes started and Wirt closed his eyes in concentration. Everyone was cheering him on. He even heard Dipper’s voice in the mass. When he finished everyone clapped again as he opened his eyes. Dipper was focused on him and it looked like he wouldn’t even spare Sarah a glance for a while. Wirt smiled triumphantly.

                The next time Wirt had a he’s mine back off incident, Wirt was at Dipper’s house. He brought his bassoon so they could learn obscure songs on it for their entertainment. But in the middle of the wonderful land of bliss that was hanging out with Dipper a redhead showed up. She was 2 years older and her name was Wendy. Apparently she was a childhood friend that needed a lot of catching up to do.

                Wirt was left to sulk by himself while Dipper and Wendy laughed and talked and be happy. But soon Mabel was whisking him away. “Wendy’s here?” A quick nod was his answer. “Oh this is going to be good. Dipper used to have a crush on Wendy. Those feelings might be coming back now,” Mabel giggled. Wirt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He needed to make sure that Dipper couldn’t get the chance to have a crush on Wendy again. “Sorry Mabel but I need to go.” He swore he saw her smile.

                  Preparing himself for something that could ruin his reputation Wirt looked back to last year. Around the 2nd semester his friends had all made an oath to be bound by one thing that was far more valuable than earthly materials. Knowing the Talk Dirty to Me sax solo each on their own instrument. Wirt of course was forced to learn on the clarinet and bassoon. His friends would be proud of what was about to unfold.

                Taking in a breath, he started playing the notes as he entered the room. Two seconds in, he swayed his instrument side to side rapidly. A few more seconds and he was marching about the room, moving the bassoon in all directions. It was a bit straining but it didn’t matter. The only thing that could make it better was if he was wearing sunglasses. Soon enough he was finished and opened his eyes to see Wendy and Dipper doubled up, laughing.

                “Oh my god Dipper-Oh man- why didn’t you tell me your new dorky friend was this funny! Dude that was awesome” Dipper put a hand on Wirt’s shoulder to support himself. “Wirt, when did you even learn that? Oh my god my ribs!” “Last year.” Wirt smiled, he still had a chance to openly give his heart to Dipper.

Jealousy may keep my heart beating

But my dear you keep me sane

What I wouldn’t give to have your heart like you have mine

I shall wait forever until the time is right

But until then I won’t leave your side

My love take care of my heart

     He was perfect. Golden blonde hair styled to the side and a tall lanky frame. Dipper was instantly pulled in. Sure he never talked with him or even knew his name, but he was perfect all the same. The newest employee of the Shack kept to himself, only occasionally talking to Wendy.

     When Stan introduced him he didn’t even include his name. Just that he would be working with the gang and to not murder him. Whenever Dipper found himself near the mystery that was the ever so perfect blonde, he excused himself and ran off to whatever part of the house he could have privacy. 

     But this time was going to be different, he could tell. Today the tall boy was wearing his signature clothing,a black leather jacket that snuggled his frame, a yellow t-shirt, black pants, and a bowtie. One time Dipper overheard him explain to Wendy why he chose this specific ensemble. “When people see the bow tie and the jacket they don’t know if I’m a punk druggy or a classy gentleman. When in reality I’m both!”

     Fear started to cloud the teen’s mind as the blond started to waltz his way to Dipper. But he had to do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this Dipper. Despite the sweat and bile forming Dipper pulled on his best nonchalant facade and proceeded to try to start small talk with the other boy.

     “You know, you’ve been working at the Shack for a while but we barely know anything about you. Most of us don't even know your name!” The blonde’s face contorted to one of disgust. It made Dipper’s heart sink. “It's Bill. And that’s because I like my privacy retard.”  The world felt like it shattered to him as the tears pricked at the back of his eyes. “Oh. U-uh sorry I guess.” With that the rotten apple of a boy strutted away and when Dipper was barely out of earshot, just barely, he laughed. What a bastard.

     That night Dipper browsed his dictionary. Trying to find something to describe that blonde. The blonde that broke his heart. Flipping through the D section one word stood out.

Druxy- Something which looks good on the outside but is rotten on the inside.

                Dipper flailed his limbs wildly, desperate to be back at the Shack. He couldn’t help but think how Mabel was the one who lashed out until she had no more energy. Dipper usually held everything in until he had the perfect moment to strike. Then with all the anger and rage he built up he give the attacker a taste of what they’re messing with. So why wasn’t he doing that now? The answers swam in his head, unwanted, as he screamed at his kidnapper.

                Desperation. Fear. Panic. Helplessness. These were the answers his logical mind came up with. He didn’t like them one bit. Dipper wondered if the others noticed his absence. Are they looking for him? He certainly wanted it to be so. Gathering all his courage and might, Dipper stopped resisting. Then, trying his best to sound confident, he told Bill why his little plan won’t work. “They’re not going to stop until they find me you know. And when they do they’ll be pretty pissed off.” There was silence and Dipper nervously stared at Bill’s back. Bill’s shoulders shook with laughter, a sound that made Dipper’s blood run cold.

                “It’ll be pretty hard for them to find you in the mindscape kid!” Scoffing, Dipper replied, “I’m not a kid anymore.” “Yeah yeah, I really don’t care. Point is you’ll be with me for a long time.” Dipper searched around his brain trying to find a way to convince Bill to maybe not keep him captive in the Mindscape. Maybe it wasn’t too late to go Mabel on him. He rattled his brain a bit more trying to find something, a plan, anything. He grinned as the gears in his mind turned in response.

                “Are we going to stay in the mindscape forever? I mean, wouldn’t you rather, I don’t know, show me off?” “Oh Pine Tree, of course I’m going to show you off!” His hopes were higher than the clouds now. “But not in Gravity Falls. We don’t want to risk you being found my dear!” And then his hopes sunk like a rock. Dipper felt like biting the finger that bopped his nose lightly.  He was so fucked. Where were they even going at this point? Probably some far little known place, maybe there’s some Gravity Falls copy in Florida.

                “I think you should check up on your princess. He’s had one too many drinks in your absence,” sneered a redhead dressed as a fortune teller. “What are you talking about? I didn’t come here with anybody dressed as a princess,” the brunette replied slightly confused. “Oh so the young man in a Disney princess getup isn’t with you?” “Afraid so.” “Well you should talk to him, might be the start of something wonderful.”

                All through the night he heard more and more about his so called princess. So far the information he gathered was, he had straight black hair, he was fairly drunk or at least acting like it, and he had a Cinderella costume on. Well, isn’t he in for a treat? After 3 more comments Aleks had had enough. Rising from his seat, drink in hand, he started to search for not-so-Blondie. It wouldn’t be that hard to find a man in a princess outfit right?

                About half an hour passed and Aleks was still nowhere near to catching Mr. Princess. “Prince Pantaloons, Princess Guy is out by the front and extremely drunk. Be a good boyfriend and drive him home,” scolded a bunny. Mission accomplished, thought Aleks. “Thanks! I’ve been looking everywhere for him. He gets out of my grip so easily and gets into trouble,” he replied, hoping the rather angry-looking bunny didn’t hear the nervousness and stutters in his small lie.

                Slowly walking to the front of the house, Aleks could see a small figure. He had straight black hair and was wearing a sparkling princess dress. Bingo. Except his princess looked a little young, he couldn’t be more than 15. “So what makes a little 15 year old come to an adult party and have one too many drinks,” Aleks asked the boy, smirking.  The boy laughed the sound like a bell.

                “First of all, I’m eighteen.  Second of all I’m cousins with the hosts. Third of all, I’ve only been drinking fruit punch the entire night.” “Some birdies have been telling me you’ve been drunk off your ass.” “Why would any birdies tell you anything about me if we don’t know each other?” “They think we’re a couple because of our matching outfits,” Aleks said nonchalantly with a shrug. He watched as the kid made a surprised face. Has Cinderella not heard any comments about him this entire evening?