starbright

“Well, not to be rude, but you’re not precisely what one could call a great liar,” the dig came with one of his crooked smile, deviousness twinkling in his eyes. Although unsure with his timing, Jakob felt that there had been a shift in the room, a lightness having returned to her voice, a softness in her eyes. Where he began to see a mix of concern, perhaps even fear, just minutes ago, there was nothing but Maureen now. Sweet, kind, not-so-innocent Maureen. Although she was keeping something from him, she wasn’t turning her heels on him and that was all that mattered then. This, he couldn’t accept, this he would not let happen. He was hers and she was his.

Arms wrapped around her waist, Jakob let his hands drop to her lower back. All the ways he had of showing her that she mattered proved to be beneficial to him on the long term. A flower delivery here, an impromptu present there, a note left on the fridge or in her lunch box. Each of those things were like a piece of rope he tied between himself and the young woman, weaving slowly a bond that would not break, and now he had her precisely where he wanted her.

Maureen bit her lip and offered him a small smile at his crooked grin. “You know, that’s fair. One of the many reasons I didn’t decide to become a lawyer, even if I admire my mom for being one.” She knew that it wouldn’t have been something she would enjoy nor be able to entirely handle everything that came along with being a lawyer. Being a writer made much more sense, even though she’d known that her father hadn’t been the happiest at where she’d chosen to work at first. She liked to hope that he’d come to change his opinion, at least regarding what she wrote - and furthermore, she found herself grateful that her dream job had led to her meeting Jakob.

To being his, in a way that she’d never wanted to be someone’s before. To have him be her boyfriend too, someone who she could, even after less than a year, see herself spending the rest of her life with, made her feel incredibly at ease.

She felt his hands move along her body and her cheeks grew hot. She was used to more material showings of his appreciation for her, and though she didn’t necessarily need things to be physical, ever, there was a certain comfort in the way he moved his hands on her, how he knew her by heart in both her body and how her mind worked. 

     The heat practically radiated off Maureen’s cheeks and Ava fed off it. No, she didn’t want to take the train, she didn’t want to go anywhere else. The night had already been longer than she cared for, and it was time to get to the punchline. “Are you in a rush?” she teased the blonde with an amused chuckle. Ava looked down at her outfit and promptly back up at the girl. “I didn’t mean to get you drunk,” she promised, taking the distraction as a cover to very slowly move Maureen’s hair off her face. If she had to wait any longer, Ava might simply turn on her heels and find someone else to torment. 

     The blonde stepped away but Ava followed her closely. If she’d been a normal person, she might have understood Maureen’s mannerisms as an indication that she didn’t want to go further, but there was nothing normal about Ava. So she, once more, closed the distance between them, except this time, her face tilted to lean closer and offer the other a smile. “Just let me do this first…” was whispered lowly before their lips finally connected. 

.

“No, no - I’m not in a rush, I didn’t mean to make you think that was the case at all.” Except that Ava was laughing, which had to mean that she wasn’t too mad at whatever Maureen was doing. Which was good, because she greatly enjoyed Ava’s company, and had had a nice time tonight so far. “Oh, no it’s okay, I’m a lightweight anyhow! Not your fault and I’m only a bit tipsy.” Ava’s fingers brushed her hair out of her face and Maureen felt her cheeks flush again.

Ava followed Maureen’s movement, and she looked at Ava’s smile, only half aware of her words. “Do what?” She replied as Ava’s lips met hers and Maureen knew that she shouldn’t respond to it, that refusal was the much more (and only, really) appropriate route to go, but instead she found herself kissing Ava back, pressing her lips against Ava’s, the softness and warmth welcome. It was only after a few minutes that she broke away, her cheeks suddenly flushing red again. “I - I’m sorry, I - that was nice but...” I have a boyfriend, except that she couldn’t entirely get herself to say it, as though a part of her was worried she’d have upset Ava. “But I didn’t - why did you kiss me?” She finally settled on, instead.

Well, Hans thinks, aren’t you perfect. But of course she is: Maureen’s perfection was just one of the reasons he stuck around, drawn to it like a morbid moth to fiery flame. Except here, consequences are reversed. 

“That’s admirable,” Hans tells her, in that cadence that suggests his every word is the gospel truth. “Afghanistan, and all. Could have saved some lives.” After a beat, he scoffs, “I have an ‘in’ at the library? Doesn’t everyone have an ‘in’ at the library? It’s public.” 

His hands fall onto the bar counter, then his lap, then the seams of his pants, then pockets. Entirely aimless, unsure of where to land. Without a drink to ground his touch, he’s coming to realize, even his palms don’t know what to do with themselves. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but — my best buddy’s a writer, alright? If he sees me at the library with a chick, then he’s gonna think he can just take me to one, and that’s the point of no fucking return, y’knowhattaimean?” He’d encouraged Vir to keep one of his debit cards on him — that of which Vir can use, always, to build his collection. For a man who gives his clients so much shit about spending on trivialities, his bank extract contains an obscene amount of Tolstoy. 

“Go on, give it a shot.” Hans says as he leans back, ready to observe. “Make me proud.” 

.

“I mean -” Maureen started, biting down on her lip as her cheeks flushed, “yes, it is, but I just meant that sometimes I get access to stuff not everyone has.” She watched his hands move - always one to observe, no matter what. Unable to turn that part of herself off. It worked in her favor, much of the time, at least. She liked to hope that this time would be the same as the others.

“Right.” She paused, “sorry. Though it’s - you could always say I forced you, but I understand your point.” She didn’t, not entirely, but she figured it was better to leave things like this be rather than hyper-focus too much on them. “Well, if you ever want access to anything else I can get you access to that you don’t already have, just say the word.”

Maureen felt her cheeks flush again at his comment. “Okay, I’ll try.” She grabbed the drink and took a quick sip, shaking her head afterwards. “How’d I do?”

He bit back the sound of protest that should have come with her pressing herself against him, although his nose twitched in response. Jakob, although he knew that she would never fault him for showing weakness, didn’t want her to see that. To Maureen, he’d always have to seem like nothing could get to him, nothing except maybe her. Glancing down, he let a fond smile grace his lips. “I know.” Letting his smile reach his eyes, Jakob wrinkled his nose at her. This, he did often, or rather, whenever she said something he found particularly endearing. “That’s a lot,” always was, and perhaps a bit overwhelming, as he was unsure how that was supposed to feel. He was not indifferent. Maureen was a kind girl, and he knew she provided all he could need or ask for. From a productive point of view, she certainly was all he could dream of. And she was simple (most of the time. Jakob still wondered why she decided to disappear like that.) He wouldn’t get the answer out of her just like that, and it was perhaps best, for now, to do things her way. He didn’t say the words back, he never did, but Maureen knew already, by now, that Jakob had trouble with feelings and expressing them. Kissing her forehead, he hummed quietly an air familiar to her. Perhaps through some snooping around, he’d once fallen on one of her ice skating routines, and wondered how one could be so graceful navigating across such an unfriendly environment. 

Unsurprisingly enough, Jakob didn’t like unfriendly environments, whether they were water or ice. He certainly didn’t like being up in the air either. It all made him feel rather idiotic, and rather than to learn how to master those elements, he preferred to avoid them and stick to the comfortable ground.

“You know, even if I can’t say…” And he knew this caused her sorrow, which was something he actually despised himself for, “I do care for you,” he didn’t add so much, feeling as if the humor would cheapen it rather than the opposite, but he did care a lot for the young woman. She was an important part of his life, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“I do know.” She murmured, not wanting to take her hands off of him. Cursing herself for it, partially, but at the same time, he’d never been anything but kind and caring to her, at least - and perhaps she could manage to make him stop bothering Zu, to let her live the wonderful life that she deserved. “It is, but everything I am saying is true, I promise you.” It was - she liked to think of herself as an honest person the vast majority of the time in general, but even more so when it came to those she had a particular fondness for (of course, she had blamed her brother for a few things back when they were children that were not at all his fault.

Maureen leaned into his kiss, into him, just as she always did - she’d known him for less than a year but it already felt so much longer than that. It made her wonder how she could have thought her boyfriend back in high school was the one she was meant to be with. Not that she held anything against him at all - after all, he’d been perfect at the time, but there was something nearly electric with Jakob. That something that had, perhaps, been a major factor in why she’d returned to the apartment rather than staying with Zu and breaking up with him.

Maureen’s endearing words, along with her sweet smile, caused Nora’s own smile to grow, though she didn’t feel it reach her eyes, and she mentally kicked herself for it– she had to be better, try more around Maureen. For her. Her hand went to rest on the blonde’s palm tenderly, though, expressing her affection and gratitude for her beaming personality, which would, without a doubt, make her day.

Archives, Nora’s eyebrows perked up. Archives sounded intriguing enough, and the older woman surely wouldn’t turn down the offer. “Lead the way, sunshine,” As exciting as the thought initially seemed to be, her mind at the same time threatened to flash back to all those countless memories starring her and Audra– and the hidden underground chambers of the MET. Her stomach twisted in a knot, but Nora only took deep breaths to chase those thoughts away. 

“No, no–I’d like to do what you intended for us, I’m sure it wouldn’t be the same if I just took a walk around or went exploring on my own.” A beat. “What’s your favorite section? Place to sit and read? Show me everything, I’d like to see where you draw your inspiration from.” 

Until they reached their first stop, moving through the maze of seating places and shelves stacked with books, Nora took a better look at the young lady with gilded locks. “I’ve missed you.”

She squeezed Nora’s hand, and offered the woman a small smile. It was nice to see her - she felt sad that she hadn’t seen her as much in recent times - and hoped that that could change. Nora was incredibly important to her - so much so that, at times, she trusted Nora more than she trusted her own brother.

“Right this way.” She nodded, beginning to walk. “That’s fair - but I want to make sure you like this, and not just because you’re spending time with me - not that I’d assume you’d like something just ‘cause of that, but...” her voice trailed off. “I want you to have a nice time, the same nice time you’d have if I wasn’t me.” Maureen felt her cheeks flush. “Sorry, sorry, I’m off and rambling again.” 

     It was usually Ava who suggested to a date they should leave the comfort of a bar in favor of taking a stroll. Granted, in their case, a stroll was usually code for something else. Either way, a walk would unsurprisingly always lead them to their apartment. But Maureen wasn’t the first unaware girl they’d taken out – and she wouldn’t be the last. A walk meant a walk, and they had armed themselves with their thickest armor of patience tonight.

     “I would love that.” What did surprise them was Maureen’s bill on the bar. It was almost too funny to hold in their laughter, but Ava managed to simply disguise it as a cough and pay for their own drinks. And leave a generous tip. They too stood from their seat, layered up with their coat and scarf, and started to walk towards the door. 

     Once outside, they glanced around. “My favorite spot isn’t within walking distance.” What a shame. “But we could wander around the neighbourhood for a while…” They faded their statement out, mostly to stress their step closer to the girl. And the smile they flashed her. “Thank you for going out with me tonight,” and they even put on their dorkiest voice just for her.

“You would?” She grinned, “great, I would too. I mean, obviously, but - yes, thank you.” Maureen sighed. It was easy to make her way out of the bar with Ava - and she found herself grateful that she’d come with them, because this was still very much something out of her wheelhouse.

“Well we could take the train if you’d like? I’d like to see anything you’d want to show me.” She felt her cheeks start to turn pink at Ava’s comment, but as they moved closer to her, Maureen could feel her cheeks grow even hotter. “I’d like to wander around the - uh - the neighborhood.” She looked up at them. “Sorry, your outfit just looks even nicer now, and I think I might be just somewhat tipsy. You’re welcome for going out with you - I’ve really liked it.” She bit her lip, “still am liking it, just mean that I’ve liked what has happened so far.”

I’m sorry. Looking down, Jakob spared Maureen the sight of his relief. I’m sorry meant he still had her, even if it also meant she had done something she shouldn’t, something he had not liked. “Perhaps the next time you wish for me not to worry, you ought to not disappear like that.” And then, what if something had happened to her? A seen wasn’t precisely proof of life. Jakob figured, however, that he would have heard from her old man if she had gone silent for more than 24h. The Keatons, always so practical.

Jakob shook his head. “I survived, didn’t I?” He had to thank good doctor Nora for that, and Mathias, for being not a terrible friend. His gaze fell to the dining table. All this being said, he still had no idea of why she hadn’t come home, of where she had been, and there was nothing he hated more than this: not knowing. But, if she didn’t want to tell him, he’d wait. Eventually, he knew it would come up. You didn’t vanish like that for no reason, not when you were Maureen Keaton.

“That sounds lovely, but I’ll have work to catch up on. I had to take a leave, and I’ll have to wait til September for my oral exam now.” Things could have been a lot worse, but he felt as if his bitterness was justified. Although he always had to suffer a dent or two in his plans, delaying them for months was, he supposed, not the worst thing that could happen to him. Maureen was back, and he’d eventually be done with his doctorate, possibly move on to a new job with the Cartel and the Zoo. That was all positive news.

Tentatively, he’d moved closer to the blonde, without a word, but with a world of sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if this was the way to go here, but the least he could do after getting so upset was to give her a hug, right? All was not precisely forgotten, but could he realistically be crossed with her? His arms wrapped around her shoulders, he let his chin rest on her head. “Don’t do that again, alright?”

“I won’t.” Even though she could still hear Zu’s words in the back of her mind - the ones that had told her everything he’d done, and everything he was capable of. Still, whenever she was around him she felt an incredible need to comfort him, and there was something that was still so entirely magnetic about him - the way she’d been drawn to him from the first moment that she’d lain eyes on him, the way that she’d found any excuse she could to message him, the way they’d ended up kissing on Halloween (and she had to be honest - she had gone to see the note he’d written on the bench a few times since).

“You did.” She looked over to him with wide eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t.” Because even if she was angry for what he’d done, and even if some of his habits now made her tense up, she still loved him - still cared for him - and still didn’t want any harm to come to him - especially not physical.

“For even one weekend?” She looked down at her hands, “or if not, can we celebrate once you’ve passed your oral exam. I can help you prepare - I’ve been told I have some good methods to help people - well, you - review for things. Motivation and the such.” Maureen offered him a small grin. She was only glad that he hadn’t up and changed the locks on her - though if he had, she knew that she could just go back to Zu’s place, but she wanted to at least check on Jakob, and so the relief that things were still mostly the same was practically enough to make her collapse.

     They were rapidly losing interest, becoming bored with such dull conversation. For anyone else, talking about interests and books and work would be the norm, specially on a first date, but Ava wasn’t anyone, they were special, better, and their time was worth more than Maureen or anyone else at this bar could afford. But that they would exploit. “Very nice to look at?” they repeated after the blonde. Surely, the girl would have hoped her words would go unnoticed, but Ava relished the opportunity to have people admit they were attracted to her. So they pressed further. “It’s a good thing you didn’t first meet me in my scrubs, this makes a much better impression,” they nodded down towards their own outfit. Carefully picked out, it hugged their body and flared out in all the right places to leave some details to the imagination. And Maureen’s imagination preceded her.

     “Oh, a doctor?” What were the odds that Ava might know him already? Medicine was a broad field, but news traveled fast in every industry, and hospitals were notorious for the hunger for gossip they held within their walls. Of course Maureen had never snuck out, Ava could have predicted that without knowing the girl. It was painfully obvious. Ava themselves had perfected the art of opening and closing a window without waking any members of their family, but it wasn’t for everyone. 

     How to put this lightly? 

     “My parents would have liked me to become a surgeon or a medical researcher, but I like the work.” Granted, this didn’t answer Maureen’s question; they might have moved on to a different topic but they were itching to talk about themselves – or, rather, the character they’d made up for this date. “Actually– this is embarrassing, but when I was younger… I wanted to be a musician.” They waited a beat. “A pianist, actually. I wasn’t half bad at it, either, and I have the hands for it,” they wiggled their fingers in the air. A shrug. “But there’s nothing like helping save a life. It’s a thankless job but it’s rewarding enough to know I can help at least a single person in a day.” They had to fight the urge to burst out into laughter. 

     “Mine is very good, yeah, you can take a sip if you’d like.” They absolutely fucking loathed to share their food or drinks, but tonight’s character didn’t. Regardless, they eyed Maureen’s glass and, with a smile, shook their head. “Maybe later.”

"I - yes,” she felt her cheeks grow hot. So much for any hope of Ava not noticing that comment. “I - well, scrubs can be nice too - Grey’s Anatomy certainly took advantage of that.” Maureen bit her lip again, “This does make a very nice impression.” There was no way that anyone with sight could deny that Ava was incredibly attractive, and she figured there was no use in trying to backpedal on that at this point, since her remark had been very much noticed. “It’s - I like this more than I think I’d like scrubs, but still, don’t sell yourself short.” She offered Ava a small smile.

“Oh - yeah - he recently graduated from med school and now he’s training to be a fancy brilliant doctor. Which I would even admit to his face at this point, even if we used to fight sometimes as kids.” She nodded, “his name’s Mark - Keaton, same last name as me, if you run into him at work, though I don’t know if you’re at the same hospital, but maybe you’ve got connections? I mean, besides me,” she giggled. 

“Oh yeah? I bet you would’ve been great at that too!” Her gaze flickered over to their fingers. “I mean, I agree! Not that what I do is even remotely really life saving,” she glanced down at her lap for a moment, “but it’s wonderful that you do that - and you’ve gotta be a super genius to have that sort of job - did you memorize the cranial nerves for fun ever as a kid? I did, but not until I was in middle school, which I guess isn’t really a kid anymore.” 

“It’s okay - I’ll let you have what you want of it, and then if you don’t want to finish I can?” Which was a big offer, given that she was fairly certain she wouldn’t even necessarily finish her own drink.

“Maybe later.” She smiled.

-

“I don’t know, Maureen,” his jaw clenched, and he pointed to his face as he went on, “maybe because I ended up like that ?” Part of Jakob was glad that he no longer had to concern himself with the possibility of something happening to her because of her father, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried at all for her. She had become important to him and he didn’t want to replace her. It surprised him, sometimes, how much he liked having her around. Most people he found insufferable depending on the dosage. “I was worried sick,” not exactly, but it ate him alive, not knowing where she was, what she was doing, who she was spending her days with, and he resented her for putting her through this. It was not like her, and he could tell she was acting differently than she usually did, even now.

“You don’t have to,” he retorted, looking away from her, as if to dismiss her offer. Jakob could have just said yes, but she’d gotten him upset, and now she’d have to endure some of his cruel little games, just like the rest of them. Sure, her whatever you want, was music to his ears, but there was something off about her, and he preferred caution to hurry. “I’ll set the table,” was he capable of anything other than stern comments anyway? Rubbing at his neck, Jakob turned his back on her, facing the cupboards. Without a word, he picked up white plates which he took to the table, before returning to his kitchen to get water glasses out, eyes deliberately lingering on her mug sitting beside his one the shelf. Both items had followed the pair since childhood. His own was covered with characters from the Jungle Book, faded out by years of ending up in a dish washer. Clearing his throat, he picked up glasses on the shelf below, and headed back to the dinner table. “How have you been?”

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out, only barely above a whisper, but she knew Jakob would be able to hear her. “I didn’t want you to worry,” except that maybe there had been a certain part of her that had craved that, given what he’d done to Zu. It wasn’t a feeling she was either used to or comfortable with, but it had still felt natural to take on - except that she knew that she couldn’t stay far away from him for too long. “I didn’t - I - I didn’t want you to be worried sick, but I mean, I’m alive and well, so can we please just forget about it?” Please please please she wanted to beg, but she knew that Jakob didn’t take too well to her acting that way.

“Yeah, yeah,” he jokes, “whoever made your fake ID did a good job.” Porcelain skin, baby face. For as long as Hans has known her, Maureen had worn her innocence on her sleeve. “Not really. I’m not drinking, and you’re also not drinking — it’s the opposite of getting drinks together, actually.” Of course, they have all the means to fix that soon. Over the bartender’s shoulder, multiple shelves with bottles on display. He eyes them – and they eye him back. “How old are you, anyway? Jokes aside.” It only strikes him then, how little he knows of Maureen. Her true self, all beyond the journalistic persona. “And no — you can’t ask that back at me.” Every day, forty looms ever closer. “Gin-tonics for two, then? I heard it keeps you skinny.” 

.

“I only wanted a fake ID when I was little so that I could vote, but then my dad explained how that would be illegal on several levels and so I gave up on that.” She shrugged. “I mean, true, but I don’t think it’s the complete opposite, because we are in a bar, at least. Complete opposite would probably be more like if you let me show you around the library.” Maureen bit her lip for a moment, “which is an offer, if you ever want, though I figure you might have an ‘in’ there anyhow, but if you’d like to spend time with me in a library, just say the word.” She felt her cheeks flush. “Sorry, talking too much again, I think.”

To his question, she responded, “twenty-four. I’ll be twenty-five in September.” She bit her lip. “I wouldn’t dream of asking it back to you, I know it’s not polite. Is it alright to say I wouldn’t put you at over thirty?” She nodded. “Gin-tonics for two sounds good. Will you order, or should I try a hand at it?”

It was a gambit, of sorts, to think that she took up more importance in Maureen’s life than breaking news divulged by none other than two of the most prominent figureheads of New York government. Then again, to a lesser, unknown extent, that was the plan from the start — to cultivate a relationship with Maureen, to enchant her with the gilded veneer of her life, and all for access and influence over the girl’s every thought, every word, every action. The risks and benefits to Zuleika’s life were all carefully examined, with the former often tipping the scales in its favor to satiate that particular craving for excitement she held.

So, silly little games started, tests to determine if Maureen was worthy of her time, of access into her life. If the girl was smart enough ( or cynical, a word which might be a synonym only in this one instance ) to realize the existence of said games throughout their relationship, then this night, with its taunting texts and mysterious messages, undoubtedly seemed as something similar. As always, Maureen starts her descent into mindless chattering, attempting to placate a situation in which she can claim no control. To this, Zu cants her head at a disapproving angle — as she’d said already in the evening, the girl really had learned nothing from her.

When Maureen nears her, she’s tempted to step away in clear refusal of the intimacy the girl always attempted to forge, but she doesn’t, too concerned with checking her once over for any signs of physical abuse. Finding nothing, Zuleika speaks at last, words spat with disdain, “I’ve only ever tried to make sure you’ve been okay for as long as I knew you were with him. You know, the night that you told me — Halloween, wasn’t it? That was the same night he…” Her voice falters, not out of weakness, but because a more effective strategy takes hold of her mind. “Well… You’re a journalist. Wouldn’t you prefer to learn first-hand?”

.

From the moment she’d met Zu, back when it had only been an article assignment, she’d been drawn to the other woman, felt an intense desire to be part of her world - and so of course, when Zu had asked her to hang out, or asked after her, she’d responded eagerly (she’d had to remind herself to pause and not reply to a text right away more than once), feeling the very same way she’d heard about in high school. Back then, she’d been liked enough to not feel a need to be ‘in’ with the most popular anyways. But with Zu - and with Ludo, too - there was something different. It was something practically intoxicating, and so when Zu had shown just the slightest bit of disappointment she’d immediately felt the need to placate, to fix it, to make sure she didn’t lose favor.

There was a part of her that wished she could just rid herself of the dress, of one of the initial reasons for their arguing tonight, but it was impractical to think so, and so instead she settled with nervously tugging at it, with the hopes that Zu would forgive her.

“I know you have.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, because crying was not how she wanted this evening to go. She wouldn’t let it go that way. Maureen had noticed the disapproving look on the other’s face and she swallowed at that, eyes grown wide. Except soon enough something else distracted her more than Zu’s disapproval of her nerves or her dress.

“The night he what?” Her mouth went practically dry, “I - yes, first-hand would be good, please.” She fumbled over her words for a moment as she glanced down at her shoes. “Thank you. I mean - I - just thank you for wanting to talk to me, and for being open about things.” Even if it made Maureen’s stomach practically drop. “I promise I’ll listen to no matter what you have to say.”

“Hi…” Something about this was just off. She had been gone for days, not a text, not a call, nothing but a little tick underneath his messages him to let him know that she’d seen his question, and that she had chosen not to reply.

Jakob watched her unpack the contents of her paper bag on the counter, a mad glint in the eye. For a moment, he wondered if, quite simply, she wasn’t just making fun of him, with her simpering look and her natural good manners. Of course, she wouldn’t arrive empty handed, but flowers would have been weird. Food was the obvious choice. A tiny, minuscule part of him wanted to approach her and swipe those things off of his kitchen counter, make it all smash against the wall and fall to the floor, clattering, but Jakob knew her and any amount of violence would cause her to shut off and he wanted an explanation more than he needed to externalize his anger. “Maureen, where…” He let her speak, and shook his head as she asked. What did she think? Bruises and cuts weren’t exactly his go-to look. Battered puppy really wasn’t his aesthetic, no. She knew him to be certainly not polished, but Jakob knew that appearances were too important to be neglected, and this, his current appearance was just fucking shameful. “Maureen, where have you been?” He stopped himself from pinching the bridge of his nose, and instead looked directly at her. “I really could have used having you around.” Looking down, he moved, at last, closer to the kitchen. Lovely, sweet Maureen had abandoned him, and he wanted to know why.

.

She kept glancing over to him, unsure of exactly what to do, how to move around him. She’d never been nervous around him before - barring when she’d first met him, but the nerves then had been the result of finding him almost unbearably beautiful rather than due to finding out what he was capable of.

“Why do you need to know where I was?” She bit her lip. “Sorry - I - I was safe. With a friend.” She drummed her fingers against her thigh. “I’ve stayed with friends before - not since I moved into our - your apartment,” she corrected herself, hating herself for it but perhaps it was necessary right now - the last thing she wanted was to make him more frustrated with her than he already had to be. She shouldn’t have ignored all of his texts, but she knew that if she’d even responded to one, more would follow, and she’d needed breathing space. Zu had provided that. Zu had provided that and she felt as though she was committing certain level of betrayal, standing where she was now.

“I’m here now - I - I can take off work, stay and watch over you.” She stiffened slightly as he came toward the kitchen, “if you want. I - whatever you want.” She sighed, “I got chana masala, jeera aloo, and a number of other things. I couldn’t decide what would be best so I might have gone overboard, but then we can have leftovers, which is good, even though you know I never mind cooking.” She bit down on her lip, reminding herself, for a moment, to take a deep breath. “I hope the choices are good with you.”