#nora 005

Tamyra needed to get away, need to be alone. She didn't even consider that Nora might be home, she just wanted to get away from everything and her hut was the closest option. But when she finally stumbled back to her hut and opened the door, she stopped dead right in the doorway. Wavy, beautiful, purple cascading hair, dark skin, brown eyes welcomed her on Nora's bed and it felt like Tamyra got punched in the gut again. "Shit, what-- what are you doing here?"

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When Nora was able to get back to Tamyra's hut she felt relieved. This nonsense wouldn't be able to get to her if she continued to stay holed up in the hut until everything passed. At least, that's what she was hoping. As she sat in her bed she stared in disbelief at the person who walked in, never in a million years would she ever expect to see her boyfriend– ex boyfriend standing before her, here all places. "What are you doing here?" She replied back, standing up immediately and getting defensive. "I don't know how you found me but you need to leave. Now. You are the last person I want to deal with right now."

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Tamyra couldn't even remember the woman's name. She's buried all of it so deep down she couldn't even remember her name and now, on this of all days she showed up? Was the torture of yoday never going to end? "This isn't-- I'm not-- I wasn't looking for you, trust me. But you should know that, you of all people should know that." She was silent for a beat and the, "what are you doing here of all places?"

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Nate's words didn't sound convincing to her, just stumbling into a random hut and finding her there? He had to have been searching. For what reason though, she couldn't be sure. Nora continued to stare daggers at him hoping he would get the idea but he continued talking. "Wouldn't you like to know." she snapped back at him. "No, you don't get to walk in here and just ask me something so trivial with no sorry, no anything. What the fuck is wrong with you?

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Nora was simply sitting on the bed, but to Tamyra, the woman was practically lounging, seductive body language and practically glowing skin and Tamyra was absolutely thrown off her game. How did she find her place out of all of it. So the snapping came as a surprise, in a way, while it also felt like three decades coming. She rubbed her forehead tired and desperate to figure something out to say, "This is my place, I get to do whatever I can." But this was wrong, she fucked up back then too, and she should... she should apologize, that is the least she deserved. And for her to at least remember her name. Fuck, this would be rough. "I'm-- I'm really sorry, for all of it, but it's been so long and I-- can you tell me what I can call you? I don't want to overstep."

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It feels like her head was pounding, for a moment she can see his lips moving but she can't actually process what he's saying to her. Nora assumed it was just her anger taking over and blocking out his stupid voice. He paused for a while and hearing him apologize to her...she didn't actually know how to react. She asked for one but she knew it wasn't good enough, it was the least he could do but she still knew that deep down he was a terrible person, a killer and she was forced into being an accomplice to that, placing the blood on both of their hands. "You can call me by my fucking name. And as impressed as I am that you actually have enough of a heart to apologize you know I can't just forgive you like that, right?" Was this some sort of attempt at reconciliation? Somehow thinking he could convince her to get back together with him after what she saw? She shook her head sharply. "The shit you did was...unforgivable. You're a monster and whatever you think you'll get from me isn't gonna happen."

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You can call me by my fucking name. That was the problem, Tamyra couldn't remember. And for the longest time she was alright with that, she put more effort into attempting to forget the entire night has ever happened, but lately, since things started to change, she tried remembering. The woman deserved as much at least. She wasn't going to help Tamyra, though, it seemed. She was on her own on this. And that wasn't even the worst of it, because the woman continued to speak, saying she can't forgive her and calling the shit she did unforgivable. Calling Tamyra a monster. She knew what she did was bad, Tamyra really did, she could even remember the defeated expression on the woman's face when the NDA came up, but she never thought it would be this bad. And she wondered, if she fucked it up this badly with her, if this was unforgivable, would what she did to Piper unforgivable too? She swallowed hard.

"I know it's been a long time, but I was a different person back then. I-- changed. Or, more like I'm trying to change. Trying to be better. And I don't-- I don't want anything from you. I couldn't possibly want anything from you, I don't deserve anything. Just maybe your forgiveness at some point." Part of her brain wondered if this actually was the woman on Nora's bed or this was like her run-in with her mom, but if that was the case, no matter what, she doubted the woman would decide to visit her of all people. Thus, she had to be real.

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I changed. Nora felt her heart sinking in her chest at those words. That wasn't at all what she was expecting to hear from him. It was difficult to process, how exactly was she meant to respond? There was a look in his eyes that felt so sincere it hurt to look at. Which was probably why she turned away, avoiding eye contact so that a pair of rose coloured glasses didn't appear out of nowhere. This wasn't what she wanted, she couldn't just forgive him.

"No, no, this is not happening." she started, shaking her head while still looking away from him. "You're not going to fool me with this. I lost so much because of what you did, you ruined everything. I hate thinking about what you did and roped me into. I spent this whole time scared and looking over my shoulder, thinking about what might happen to me because of you.  And maybe it was also partly my fault too but this was your fault. You say you changed but...how am I supposed to trust you?"

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She lost so much. She kept looking over her shoulder, scared. That is what Tamyra caused. A woman terrified of lawyers swarming her and maybe even accusing her of talking, that she was still traumatized because of it. And Tamyra caused this. She rubbed her forehead, trying to figure out how she could even fix this. Especially if they were to be living on the same island, the same place from now on.

"I'm sorry, I truly am. I never meant to hurt you in the proccess. I wasn't even--" thinking about you. Probably not a good thing to say, given the circumstances. She would not be winning anything with that. "I didn't intend to hurt you, but I did, and I am sorry for that." She shook her head, though. "Not sure how I can prove my trustworthiness, though." Even bringing her to Piper wouldn't help, she nicely fucked up that one, too, and was in the middle of working on it. "But I can help you with anything you'd like. Or clear out of your way, if that works better."

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Nora was trying her best not to let herself get pulled in like she always used to, those pretty eyes of his that just looked so sad it could almost make her forget what he's done. The way they were talking it was as if this was just because of a bad break up, maybe he cheated or something instead of what actually happened. She had to stand her ground, she wasn't going to allow Nate to convince her of anything. There shouldn't have even been a negotiation.

"Clear out, that's the one I want. You might think you're some perfect person now but I don't want to be part of your spiritual journey of making things right. Whenever you see me or think of me I want you to remember that disgusting thing you did and roped me into and I want you to feel like shit. I don't know if you're leaving or staying but I don't want anything to do with you. And I swear if you try to hurt anyone else...watch out."

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Remember that disgusting thing you did and roped me into. Tamyra's heart lurched. Did she mean the NDA and the secrecy after it, or did she mean-- But no, she couldn't have mean the sex part. She was very much enjoying it, like Tamyra. She kept trying to call her up and meet with her. She looked crushed when Tamyra handed her the NDA. "I thought you liked me too," she said with her huge eyes before she turned around and walked away completely.

The NDA was bad enough, though, and she has crushed this woman in ways she never really imagined or thought of and Tamyra was feeling sick, especially after that threat. The implications were clear - they weren't out in the real world, everything went. Including talking about Tamyra and her and what happened between them. Fuck, she really wished her mom was actually here and she could just go back to her and hear her tell Tamyra that everything would be alright. "I do not want any trouble. I will never forget what happened, but I am trying to change and I have no intention of hurting anyone." She paused for a beat. "Never intended to hurt you either. I thought... I thought it was nothing but casual. And my focus was on protecting myself. And I am truly sorry, for all of it."

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Apology after apology, admitting he did wrong but it still didn't feel like enough. Maybe he could change...it's been years after all, that guilt eats away at you and maybe that really was what happened to him. But the thought of giving in and allowing him to make these promises with no repercussions felt unfair. If he really was sorry if he was trying to change then she'd wait and she'd see it and then make her decision.

Holding up one of her hands Nora wanted him to just stop talking. Some of the things he said felt like he was digging himself a hole and she didn't want to get into it or argue with him. "Just...stop, ok? I don't want to hear it anymore. If you want my forgiveness then stop saying and just do it. That's all, just be a good fucking person." If he was even capable of that. Taking a deep breath, Nora brought her hands up to her face and covered her eyes, rubbing at them, wanting to be left alone at this point and if he didn't plan on leaving then she'd have to do it herself.

"I'm tired of this, I better not see you around for at least a couple days, got it? Don't talk to me, don't bother me just don't get anywhere near me so I can process all of this bullshit of sharing this island with you."

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That's all, just be a good fucking person. That was all, wasn't it? Just do the work, just be better. Something Tamyra wasn't always sure she could do it. Here she was, almost thirty years after the incident and she still couldn't even remember the woman's name, for fuck's sake.

She just... she needed to get away. Today, tonight, was too much. Her mom, Nakeisha appearing briefly, even Brad, not to mention the fact that she hasn't felt this close to getting off of this island since she arrived, and yet she got a huge slap in the face. It was all way too much, and she needed to be able to just fall apart finally. Fall apart without anyone seeing it.

So when the woman sent her on her way, it didn't even register to her that technically, she was the one who was home. The woman should have been the one who would needed to leave. She just-- she wanted to be alone. She needed to be alone and get the hell out. "Sure, yeah, uhh-- yes. I'll-- see you around." And then she turned out of the hut and set off towards the Jag, as fast as she could in this fog.