half moonshine, full eclipse.

that  downtrodden  expression  of  his  ,  sweet  and  hurt  …  the  lilt  in  the  corner  of  his  lips  as  if  he's  really  considering  leaving  .  but  he's  not  .  he's  just  pausing  .  "  please  ,  don't  treat  me  like  a  stranger  …  i  don't  think  i  could  handle  that  with  everything  else  going  on  …  "  you  might  mistake  it  for  a  tremble  in  his  soft  voice  ,  brown  eyes  exuding  the  plea  as  if  he  is  desperate  to  have  her  back  at  his  side  .  his  best  friend  .  his  one  and  only  .  "  my  dad's  been  asking  about  you  ,  "  another  hook  ,  another  possible  way  to  lure  her  in  .  he  and  his  father  hadn't  talked  in  years  until  now  ,  the  prodigical  son  returns  …  as  a  priest  .  and  oh  ,  what  an  interesting  reunion  that  was  proving  to  be  …  almost  as  interesting  as  this  .  

        "WE are strangers. i haven't talked to you in close to a decade."  doe eyes flash up at him,  and she wishes it was pure,  unadulterated  fury.  there's certainly a glint of it in her gaze,  but  -  the eyes were the window to a person's soul,  no ?  stella could only believe he couldn't read her like he used to.  she was counting on it  (  it's wishful thinking  ).   "unbelievable."  and oh,  she knows if she were any more popular in the film industry  -  they'd use this moment to pin every villain moment of the year on her.  but  ...  fuck it.  weren't  villainesses in  now,  anyway ?   "do you even talk to him?"   it's almost like a slip-up,  that she remembers how much she  HATED  his father when she saw michael every day.  when she saw that solemn look he quickly covered up when someone approached them together.  she remembers everything.   "michael,"  she breathes out his familiar bittersweet name,  usual southern charm thick with fervor,  and stella uses the same pleading word he used only seconds before.   "please. i don't want to do this right now. or here."   she'd actually rather not do it at all  ...  yet there's not enough of her voice left to finish her sentiment.

Coffee was a godsend when you worked as long as Mira did, it's how she made it through the first few hours of her shift. He shift didn't start for about thirty minutes, and was close, so she was taking a breather outside before the chaos of the day. Surprised to hear a familiar voice, Mira turned to see the seat that was once empty was now occupied. "Oh, no, not yet. I go in tomorrow. I'm guessing you did?"

        stella nods, golden waves skim  against the delicate skin of her collarbones  ( she never was one to shy away from showing her  favorite  body parts ),  sigh escaping from her glossed lips.   "i suppose i just thought -"  and stella thinks it would be  awful  if she said  untouchable  due to the fact she didn't grow up here.  that because she didn't have close relations to chris,  because she lived elsewhere  -  they wouldn't  care enough  to question her.   "oh, i don't know. i guess i just thought i had a better reputation than that. is that self absorbed of me to say?"

vivian is afraid of lincoln city in the same way a child is afraid of the dark . no matter how busy she kept herself , she could never find the courage to exorcise the apparition of her decade old mistakes haunting her in the middle of the night , gurgling — begging — for a morsel of atonement . she thought she had her anxiety under control , but the moment vivian stepped back into her hometown , she couldn't help but feel as helpless as a lamb pierced by the razor sharp teeth of the past . " the police ? " vivian questions with a slight twitch of her brow , the words raw in her throat as she soothed the shivers that viciously wrangled her body . " no , i haven't talked to anyone like that . . . " dark eyes peer at the blonde before she shifts in her seat , movements careful , voice softened by concern . " did you ? "

        pot recognizes kettle, right? and  stella isn't even trying to be stereotypical.  she's read the articles,  the posts,  watched the shows with commentary about how  asians are always friends with other asians.  alas,  in the truth of the matter  ...  why would stella have  not  wanted to know vivian ?  the girl was a few years younger than her,  her family even far more perfect than her own  -  bigger,  too.  and it was like seeing seeing herself through a looking glass.  not to mention,  the  kindness  the raven haired girl exuded.  stella needed that back then  -  needed it now,  too.  it's only natural for her to be drawn to the other.   "well ... be on the lookout, okay? and - maybe ask your parents if they have a lawyer they like. or i could ask mine to find you one."   her southern accent makes these suggestions with such a sweet concern for the other,  one may think stella considered vivian as kin.  alas  -  stella an actress,  no law pro,  this is for sure  -  and she's not sure what the rules on sharing lawyers are.  the blonde nods,  doe eyes flashing up to vivian,  leaning closer  -  voice dropping to a matching whisper.   "yes, they wanted to know about that night - and i remember you being there, too .... right?"

          “   don’t   sweat   it   .     duke’s   no   angel   himself   .     these   guys   think   they’re   lapdogs   ,   not   the   horses   they   are   .   ”     hand   reaches   out   to   give   duke’s   side   a   hearty   pat   ,   but   the   great   dane   is   too   busy   wrestling   with   stella’s   dogs   to   care   .     he’s   all   floppy   ears   and   wagging   tail   ,   bouncing   around   like   a   puppy   .     really   ,   the   whole   scene   was   a   chaotic   mess   of   tangled   leashes   ,   tugging   and   happy   barks   .     “   maybe   we   should   set   up   a   playdate   .     give   us   a   break   from   the   leash   burns   ,   let   them   tire   each   other   out   ,   and   …     you   know   ,   maybe   even   a   chance   for   us   to   catch   up   …     i   mean   ,   it’s   been   a   while   ,   right   ?   ”

        "but you guys basically are a just a big, big, big lapdogs, arentcha?"   she coos,  giggle bubbling from her lips as duke leans forward to lick her face,  and the dogs she's walking run around with felix's others.  she has to talk to him,  she knows she does.  but the blonde leans forward to  give duke a big hug  instead,  surprised the dogs she's walking haven't started whining in annoyance.   "i could make that work. is your number still the same? i mean - it's definitely been a minute."   guilt seeps into her chest as her head lifts up,  and she still feels the  peace  she felt back as a teenager.   "mine is. still the same, i mean."

                 standing  in  front  of  one  of  the  mirrors  in  the  mall  ,  luciana  grabbed  some  pink  shaded  sunglasses  .  moving  them  up  to  her  face  ,  she  pushed  them  up  the  bridge  of  her  nose  .  lips  pursing  together  as  she  looked  at  herself  ,  fingers  rustled  through  dark  waves  before  she  finally  looked  back  at  the  other  .         ❛      what  do  you  think  ?     ❜            she  asked  ,  moving  her  hands  up  to  the  sides  of  the  glasses  ,  adjusting  them  ever  so  slightly  .          ❛      is  it  giving  bratz  or  barbie  ?      ❜          luci  questioned  ,  something  so  𝐎𝐃𝐃  about  the  whole  exchange  .  at  least  ,  it  felt  odd  due  to  𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆  going  on  .  due  to  the  message  that  had  just  been  received  by  quote  ,  unquote          (      chris  wilder  ,      )        himself  .  but  alas  ,  here  they  were  .

        taking the time to just  ...  be a girl with luci is  exactly  what stella needed,  and the blonde realizes this as she glances at the raven haired girl,  pink painted lips curving into a grin as she lets out a soft giggle.    "i think you have to have it. i'm serious, if you don't buy it for yourself, i'm buying it for you."   slender hands reach out to  gently brush  some hair out of luci's face,  shaping it to fall against the curve of her jawline and curtain her brows just so.    "beautiful,"   stella informs luciana,  before stepping back to admire her own work,  before shrugging.   "honestly? barbie. we deserve a barbie who looks like you anyway. it probably would've held me back from bleaching my hair just a litle bit longer."   and now stella is  attached  to the golden glow  of her hair,  so there'll be no going back on it now. 

many  would  have  lost  their  footing  so  early  but  michael  had  never  struggled  with  that  .  he  had  been  a  keen  musician  all  of  his  life  ,  second  chair  but  never  second  fiddle  .  what  he  had  mastered  more  easily  than  anything  was  the  ability  to  play  the  people  around  him  better  than  any  singular  instrument  .  it  came  so  naturally  to  him  that  it  almost  felt  subconscious  ,  that  he  couldn't  possibly  be  held  accountable  for  his  own  actions  and  approach  to  the  people  around  him  ,  as  if  he  wasn't  even  aware  of  it  .  as  soon  as  he  realises  that  the  person  he  is  talking  to  is  stella  ,  he  is  locked  in  .  it  won't  take  long  for  him  to  narrow  in  ,  a  dangerous  mixture  of  softness  and  confidence  that  never  left  .  brown  eyes  always  dosed  in  false  promise  ,  warmth  ...  he  could  be  a  pair  of  gentle  arms  ...  he  could  be  whatever  was  wanted  in  the  moment  ,  to  dissipate  later  into  nothingness  .  he  was  more  of  an  apparition  than  any  solid  being  .   "  you  did  miss  the  reading  anyway  but  the  children  loved  it  ...  "  he's  not  acting  .  he  doesn't  think  so  ,  anyway  ,  doesn't  entertain  the  idea  .  it  has  been  ten  years  and  nobody  really  knows  him  now  ,  even  if  there  was  a  possibility  that  she  and  he  could  have  bumped  shoulders  in  LA  .  "  i  understand  that  you're  angry  with  me  ...  but  you  have  to  understand  ...  those  first  five  years  are  a  blur  and  then  i  found  my  faith  and  i  knew  that  i  had  to  really  dedicate  myself  ...  "  he's  explaining  it  all  away  and  none  of  it  is  technically  a  lie  .  that  is  what  happened  .  the  drugs  ,  the  drinking  ,  the  partying  blurs  and  the  seductive  lifestyle  of  a  trust  fund  baby  swept  him  away  as  it  should  and  then  when  he  had  changed  ,  he  had  needed  to  put  all  his  energy  into  the  study  of  his  new  /  old  religion  .  his  goal  to  get  into  the  priesthood  was  no  small  feat  (  although  his  motivations  are  still  unclear  )  .  "  come  on  ,  you  know  me  ...  i'd  never  purposely  hurt  you  ,  "  doe  eyed  ,  angelic  almost  in  his  appearance  ,  his  nature  so  seductive  in  the  sense  that  you  wanted  to  believe  him  ...  wanted  him  to  be  who  he  was  portraying  .

       when she was  a teenager  -  stella's brows would've scrunched at his words,  the stiffness in her shoulders would've melted,  her heart would've fluttered,  stomach would've dropped.  she's proud to say  three  of those things were no longer a viscal reaction to the man.   "who said i was angry? anger would mean i continued to wonder about you."  and there's two sides to each coin,  right ?  he didn't have to be the one to reach out  -  they're both adults,  stella could've reached out just the same.  scoff falls from her lips.   "now that definitely sounds like a lie. and this is coming from someone who lies professionally."   stella is so  BUTTHURT,  wonders how  RELIGION  could help him,  but not her ?  god.  she's jealous and upset at religion and faith  --  stella'll admit,  this is  a new low  for her.  it's a mistake to let her dark gaze search his,  but she'll do it anyway before shaking her head.   "i don't think i do know you. sorry, what was your name again?"

for  many  ,  it  was  an  uncomfortable  experience  .  on  the  other  hand  ,  michael  appeared  to  be  thriving  in  his  newfound  role  as  the  second  coming  of  religion  in  lincoln  city  .  for  the  first  time  ,  he  was  getting  along  with  his  father  (  who  may  have  still  doubted  this  new  leaf  too  )  and  seemed  to  be  a  very  respectable  member  of  society  .  it  had  only  been  two  weeks  but  he  left  nothing  but  good  omens  in  his  wake  ,  the  brightness  that  he  cast  almost  making  people  forget  the  darkness  of  what  else  was  going  on  .  michael  never  spoke  of  chris  ,  never  thought  of  him  …  tried  not  to  get  too  tangled  up  in  his  association  with  the  night  in  question  while  they  waited  for  police  to  ask  them  again  ,  what  had  happened  .  on  this  particular  day  ,  he  had  just  finished  his  reading  at  the  library  .  a  line  of  happy  children  and  parents  filtering  out  as  he  leans  against  the  wooden  table  that  was  set  up  beside  the  spot  he  had  been  occupying  .  he  was  nothing  but  full  of  lovely  ,  kind  deeds  for  the  ever  deserving  community  that  surrounded  cursed  devils  lake  .  "  i'm  sorry  to  say  that  you  already  missed  the  reading  … it  was  one  of  my  best  renditions  of  little  red  riding  hood  …  "  fingertips  walking  across  the  table  momentarily  as  he  settles  to  sit  ,  "  or  did  you  just  come  to  see  me  ?  "

        stella curses her own thoughts when she hears his grating voice,  something that causes goosebumps to prickle  despite  the warmth of the sun.    "'m not here for the reading."   southern lilt in her voice drawls out as her eyes close,  and head leans against the wall  -  stella hoping if she doesn't make eye contact,  maybe  he'll just go away  ( it's wishful thinking;  stella knows this  ...  but still ).   "and i'm definitely not here for you."   because she's upset,  okay ?  stella thinks she's allowed to be upset  when they knew each other so well,  and he never reached out.  ever.   hand waves in the general direction of the café;  something between gesturing to it and shooing him away.    "so just ... do that act somewhere else, okay?"

ROSÉ DAZED KOREA 2024

᧔♡᧓

Richard Aldington, The Faun Captive

Denise Richards as Kelly Van Ryan in WILD THINGS (1998) dir. John McNaughton

ROSÉ DAZED KOREA 2024