Kawaii Bateman

Very complex, and much of it is surrounded by mystery. But they made up much earlier in the 70s than people think. Paul said in his book that when they met during that time, they would laugh at the headlines about them feuding. They met in early 1972 and agreed not to slag each other off anymore in public, and a guy who worked on Some Time in New York City (1972) said that Paul would often phone John and they would talk for hours on the phone like best friends. This shocked him, because the news at the time were saying that they hated each other. So we can say that by 1972 they were already on good terms. They were even reportedly seen together, some days before the famous jam session in 1974, at the LA Grammys, laughing together backstage. Diana Ross also reportedly said she saw them at gay clubs around this same time in LA. This is hearsay, of course, but I don’t think it’s that far-fetched. I think the good vibes mostly continued until 1976, and from there to most of 1980, it seemed to be quite rocky, even if they talked over the phone sometimes. Their songs from around this time are filled with longing and sadness (like John’s Real Life demo (1977) and Paul’s Arrow Through Me (1978)). Paul said in October 1980 that they had hardly talked since an incident over the phone they had in 1978 (though Paul said he did phone John at Christmas 1979, and John even let him speak to Sean). But the last few months of 1980 are very mysterious, and there’s a lot of contradictory evidence over whether they were getting closer again or not. Yoko said that not long before his death he would play Paul’s albums and cry, and the incident of Paul getting drunk at a party and starting to say “John...John...John…” was around this same time.

And we have that interview from late November, 1980 where Paul is asked about what John said about him in Playboy magazine, and Paul answers that he stays quiet these days because John gets angry at anything he says (it’s important to point out, though, that the Playboy interview took place much earlier, in September. It’s possible that John changed his tune later, and even in the Playboy interview he said some nice things about Paul). But we also have the last person who interviewed John saying that he asked John about his feud with Paul, and John said it was BS, that he loved Paul. And Paul apparently was in New York for some days in early November, overseeing the final edits of Rockshow. If this is true, then it’s perfectly possible that he visited John, and this would match with Carl Perkins’ account that Linda told him they visited John a few weeks before his death. And of course, we have Jack Douglas saying that John and Paul were going to record together again, and there's also that guy from the BBC claiming that Paul told him he and John had plans to meet in the New Year. And if you already believe that Starting Over is about Paul, then it would support the idea that John was looking forward to reconnect with Paul again, thought the lyrics still suggest that they had been estranged for quite some time (as he uses words like “again it will be…,” “we used to,” and “it’s been too long”). Also important to remember is that hearing Coming Up is what motivated John to write again, and according to his diary, he believed every line in the song was addressed to him. He thought it was a message from Paul telling him that he wanted to record with him again. Starting Over could very well be an answer to Coming Up.

But even if things were getting better between them during the last few weeks of John’s life, they still had a long way to go before everything in their relationship was the same as it was in the 60s. They still had a lot of things to resolve between them, and this is something that Paul admitted often in early 80s interviews, where he was much more candid. Today he sounds much more optimistic and says that their relationship was already fixed and that they got it back together, but I don’t think that is quite accurate. I do, however, think that they met far more than is publicly known. Paul is oddly evasive whenever he’s asked about this, as well as whenever he’s asked about the last time he saw John in person. He’s given very different answers at different times, and the last time he was asked, he said he doesn’t remember (which I don’t really believe, but he obviously has every right in the world to keep it to himself). There must be a reason why he has never addressed Carl Perkins’s story or the plans he had to record with John again (if the sources for this are correct). And there are interviews where they ask him if he believes they would have worked together again if John hadn’t been killed, and Paul looks uncomfortable and just gives a simple and short answer like, "maybe", or "that would have been nice." He obviously didn’t want to talk about it. Just remember what his son James said about how he never talks to his dad about John’s death because it is still a touchy subject after all these years, and also what Bob Spitz said about a chat he had with Paul in the 90s, where Paul broke down after being asked when he misses John most. Paul obviously wouldn’t want to discuss these emotional moments that have to do with John in front of a camera.

So their 70s relationship was full of ups and downs and was complicated (but tbh, even in the 60s it was quite complicated). I think many songs they wrote in the 70s reflect the nature of the ever-changing state of their bond. Every intense and passionate relationship (filled with external pressures, internal problems, secrecy, creative rivarly, jealousy, attachment issues, etc.) is going to be volatile.