acid song

Dude. What?

Like, my doughnut is wet..

Don’t ask me.

Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.

Worst part about having a mom who is super health-conscious is she always sends me links to all these detox juice cleanses and new weight loss programs. Some of the juices are okay, but it’s the ones chock full of spinach and other disgusting shit that get to me.

..Ew dude.

  Well great for you.

Jesus, who stuck a stick up your ass?

What the hell are you doing?

..Uh..Drugs?

Someone needs to throw another party since I missed the last one.

Why'd you miss it? 

Where? Where the heck did my shirt go?

I dunno man, where'd you last see it?

  They are the spawn of Satan.

Loud and gross and noisy- glad I never was one. 

  Don’t!

You sure? It was pretty great. I wouldn't mind. 

  And I just threw up my food…Thanks for that.

No problem. I could like, go into more detail, if you really didn't enjoy your meal that much. 

  Trust me, it’s going to benefit us both.

I really, really don't doubt it. Kids suck man. 

  I was just calling her an uncultured swine, but something happened between you two last night?

Yeah dude, we fucked. It was cool. 

  Don’t worry, I’m going to go take a plan b pill right now.

Awesome friend.