No One Can

The words Matt spoke surprised Paul enough to make him open his eyes again and shift his head so he could look up at Matt’s face. He couldn’t sense any hint of a lie in them, but that didn’t mean he fully believed at least the last sentence. There would probably be reasons Matt wouldn’t come back for him. He wouldn’t be leaving otherwise. However, it meant a lot to the alpha to hear him say all of that. So he nuzzled his cheek and then rested his head back under Matt’s chin, also closing his eyes. “You’re also one of mine… I love you…” He trailed off to leave it at that so he could sleep, and soon enough he did.

Matt looked back down at Paul, a bit confused. But hey, maybe he just hadn’t expected to hear that. After all, it seemed that Paul’s life didn’t always go the way he wanted it to, since he was afraid of people leaving him and he was so nervous about everything. So yeah, the things Matt said would mean something. He smiled and stroked Paul’s back as he dozed off. “I love you too,” he replied just before he, too, fell asleep.

Matt tightened his grip around Paul and nuzzled into his head a bit more. “Then let’s sleep,” he said quietly, feeling his body start to relax, his mind trying to sleep. But he had to say this first. He had to get it out. “You are important. You are one of my best friends. And I will always come back for you.”

Paul tried to think of other subjects to talk about, but really what was the point in talking about anything in particular? He knew it wouldn’t change anything, which depressed him a little. But everything Matt was doing made up for that to him. Though after a few minutes, he still gave up on coming up with something to discuss besides the inevitable. Maybe it was just time to nap now. “You tired?”

Matt was content, comfortable. He was okay with the fact that he was leaving because he was getting this, he was keeping Paul comfortable and happy even for this short amount of time. His eyelids started to get a bit heavy and he almost dozed off when Paul spoke. “Yeah, I am,” he said, kissing the side of Paul’s head. “Are you?”

Paul breathed calmly, just taking in the feeling of Matt’s touches while staring up at him, leaning into it when moved to his cheek. He only closed his eyes for the brief moment he was kissed on the forehead, but his smile hadn’t changed even when Matt got off because his hand was immediately held. He didn’t want to talk about the current subject anymore, so he instead just closed the gap between them, laying as he had been before.

Paul had remained silent and nuzzled up against Matt again, which gave him a clue as to what he wanted to do. So Matt shut up, hugged Paul close, let his thumb stroke the wolf’s hand. Tried to be as close as was physically possible in this situation. He would let Paul initiate the next round of speaking, because this wasn’t about Matt’s comfort. It was Paul’s.

During the silence when they finally stopped kissing, Paul tried calming down so he could resist what he wanted to do. To give Matt what he had been wanting to do the times they have had sex. If things had only been different, he bottomed for him here and now. They’d just have to deal with the fact that it was not meant to be. What Matt had said the first time he spoke since before they kissed, Paul smiled softly. It almost made him tear up. “Y-you….. you’re not like the others that left me in a lot of ways.”

Matt held himself above Paul with one hand, using the other to stroke the wolf’s hair gently, brush his cheek, just touch him. Touch him because he wouldn’t be able to, in a short amount of time. “I hope I am,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to Paul’s forehead. “I really hope I am.” Eventually, regretfully, he rolled off, still laying close to Paul, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. “And I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

Paul could tell Matt was bringing it right back to him, especially once they were flipped over. He couldn’t pull away much now, nor was he trying to with his arms wrapping right around his waist. He made sure this kiss lasted as long as it possibly could, leaving no room for regret of stopping when they eventually had to.

Matt didn’t want to stop, he wanted to keep going, to strip Paul down and show him that Matt wasn’t just good at bottoming, but he knew that was out of the question. Hell, kissing should be out of the question too, but he doubted Lysander would be mad about it. Still. He pulled back, and pressed another hard kiss to Paul’s lips before pulling back completely. There was a silence, one he wasn’t sure how to fill, and then some words popped into his head and out of his mouth. “You deserve the world, Paul. Don’t ever settle for less.”

Paul loved the hands on his face, feeling the care that Matt had for him. The guy seemed prepared for it. And this helped the alpha prepare for it too. For Matt’s marriage with Lysander, Paul’s own friendship with Nasir, and even to make the fact that Matt was leaving easier on them both, they had to stop after this one last time. And so, he leaned down and pressed his lips onto Matt’s, putting what he could into the kiss to make it truly special.

Matt was prepared for the kiss, he knew it was coming, but he wasn’t prepared for the intensity. Paul seemed to be putting his all into the kiss, and Matt could sense that, and he loved it. He kissed back, one of his hands gripping the back of the wolf’s neck to hold him there, putting as much passion as he could into it. After a moment, he rolled them over, hovering over Paul, their lips never parting.

Paul was worried about what Matt’s answer would be. He waited and listened silently, and he didn’t know what to make of it by the end of it. Matt mostly just wanted to… That didn’t necessarily mean he had become attached to him in the way they both didn’t want to become. At the same time, it could. But either way, Matt was with Lysander and was gonna leave with Lysander. That’s all there was to it.

Matt was shocked when Paul movd on top of him like that, straddling him almost, but it gave way to sadness. The last time. Of course it would be the last time, it had to be the last time, but that made it so official. He was leaving, and he wouldn’t get the chance to do this again. His hands slid up Paul’s side and then cupped his face. “Yeah. One we’re both ready for.” But he let Paul do it, he would let Paul initiate this. Put everything in Paul’s terms.