Stages of Relationships Starters
āWill you go out with me?ā
āWhat do you say? You and me, that great pizza place downtown, tonight?ā
āYou lookā amazing tonight.ā
āJust one date. I promise. You wonāt regret it.ā
āI had an amazing time tonight. Iād love to do it again, sometime.ā
āI know weāve only just met, but Iād really like to take you out tonight.ā
āI promise, Iām usually better at thisāā
āThis is my favorite restaurant. Youāre gonna love it.ā
āWow, you look even better than your online profile.ā
āItās so amazing to finally meet you, in person.ā
āDo youā wanna come upstairs/inside?ā
āI can walk you home, if youād like.ā
āI wasnāt sure youād show up. But Iām glad you did.ā
āI was starting to think youād stood me up.ā
āOh, God, my ex is here.ā
āSo, do I get a goodnight kiss?ā
āIām not great at first impressions, am I?ā
āI know weāve been on two dates this week, alreadyā but how about another?ā
āWhoa, that is off-limits until, like, the tenth date!ā
āWait, youāve really never been on a date before?ā
Stage 2 ā Love/Intimacy:
āI think Iām in love with you.ā
āPleaseā just kiss me.ā
āI donāt want you to go. Stay the night?ā
āCome a little closerā please.ā
āDo you think you might be readyā to take the next step?ā
āI didnāt know what real happiness was until I met you.ā
āGod, you are so perfect.ā
āStopā youāre making me blush.ā
āJust when I thought I couldnāt possibly love you moreāyou do this.ā
āI know itās soon, but I think Iām falling in love with you.ā
āIāve been in love with you for monthsāI was just too scared to admit it.ā
āJust one more kissāokay, one moreājust one moāā
Soāhow do you say āI love youā in your mother tongue?ā
āIām sorryā Iām just not ready for sex, yet.ā
āMy roommate is out of townāwhy donāt you just stay over?ā
āSo, I was googling ideas for our date. I found something called Netflix & ChillāI think we should do that.ā
āI think we should move-in together.ā
Stage 3 ā Marriage Proposal:
ā_____, will you marry me?ā
āI want to spend the rest of my life with you.ā
āI always thought that marriage was just a shameā but with you, I think itās worth it.ā
āRemember that time when (insert significant moment)? It got me thinking.ā
āSo, thereās something Iāve been wanting to ask you for awhile now.ā
āIāve been carrying this around in my pocket for a month, waiting for the right time. There is no right moment. So, Iām just going to go ahead and ask right now.ā
āYou make me a better person, and I want that forever.ā
āLetās run away together. Elope. Sounds like an adventure.ā
āDammit, my hands are shaking. Hold on, Iām super nervous.ā
āCan we talk about this in private?ā
āWhy are you kneeling?ā
āIāI donāt know what to say?ā
āI thought you didnāt want to get married.ā
āI knew there was a reason you were acting funny all day!ā
āSo, whatās the occasion? You never plan dates this fancy.ā
āI know I said I didnāt want to settle down, butāā
āI asked your dad for your hand in marriage. Now, itās time to ask you.ā
āOf course Iāll marry you. Did you think Iād say ānoā?ā
āIf this is about the babyā donāt do this. Thatās not a good reason to get married.ā
Stage 4 ā Wedding & Honeymoon:
āIām so nervous I could throw up. Someone get me a drink!ā
āPlease, get some sleep. Our big day is tomorrow. Itās gonna be amazing!ā
āI canāt wait to marry you tomorrow.ā
āNah, omens are fake. No one believes that stuff. Tomorrow is gonna be perfect.ā
āI promise Iām not getting cold feet, Iām just really nervous my ex is going to show up and ruin everything.ā
āWeāre married! Weāre actually married now. I get to call you my husband/wife forever!ā
āI know the guests are waiting at the receptionābut I need a few minutes alone with my new wife/husband. Come here, youāā
āDo you think weād get in trouble for skipping our own reception? I canāt wait to get out of here and start our honeymoon!ā
āI know itās supposedly bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the weddingā but how do I look?ā
āPop the champagne! Letās get this party started!ā
āI know this day has been a disaster from the startābut Iāve never been happier, now that youāre mine.ā
āIād like to propose a toast to my bride/groomāā
āWowāyou look stunning!ā
āDonāt panicā but I the best man/maid of honor is MIA.ā
āThis day has been perfect. I hope the rest of our lives together is just as amazing.ā
āLast night was amazing. Iām glad we waited until we were married.ā
āLetās just stay in bed all day. Order room service. Maybe have a bubble bath. I have you all to myself, now.ā
Stage 5 ā Domestic Life:
āThe food is not burnt. Itāsāslightly toasted.ā
āTampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?ā
āWhat do you mean, you lost the keys? This is the third time this week.ā
āChange the channel, and I will kill you. Iāve been waiting for this show all day.ā
āMy underwear are all bright pink, now. Thank you for that.ā
āDid you forget to walk the dog? He just made a puddle on the floor.ā
āYou, me, PJās, bed. PJās are totally optional, by the way.ā
āI know you donāt like my parents, but we have to visit them sometime.ā
āHow about we never mention this situation again?ā
āYou should call the doctor about that. Donāt try to macho your way through it.ā
āSo, I got all the groceries. Except for this last one on the list. Is that an actual word, or did you just scribble something random with your elbow?ā
āDid you steal my shirt again?ā
āI made dinner. Your favorite.ā
āWaitāyou want me to wear that? In bed? It doesnāt cover anything!ā
āI just bought this dress/shirt/etc at the store today. How do I look?ā
āYou look tense. You want a massage?ā
āI just started a bath. Care to join me?ā
āThank you for taking care of the laundry.ā
āDid you pay the bills today? I donāt get paid until tomorrow.ā
āI couldnāt sleep either. Want me to make you some tea?ā
Stage 6 ā Pregnancy & Birth:
āI think I want to start a family, now.ā
āWhat do you say we make a baby tonight?ā
āWhat do you mean, you stopped taking your birth control?!ā
āIām out of condoms. Are you sure you still want to do this?ā
āSoāif we were to hypothetically have a baby, how would you react?ā
āI took a pregnancy test today.ā
āHave you been to the doctor yet, about that stomach bug?ā
āYouāre pregnant!? How far along?ā
āWhen were you gonna tell me you were pregnant?ā
āWe havenāt told _____, yet. We should call them.ā
āWho do you think we should name the godparents?ā
āHow are you feeling? Need me to rub your back? Get you something to eat? Turn the air down?ā
āWhat do you think about (insert baby name), for a girlā or (insert baby name) for a boy?ā
āDo you want to feel them? Theyāre kicking up a storm, right now.ā
āDid you hear that? They said weāre having a boy/girl!ā
āPlease donāt freak out, but Iām pregnantā I SAID DONāT FREAK OUT!ā
āI think my water just broke!ā
āWe need to go to the hospital. Now!ā
āJust squeeze my hand. Itās gonna be alright. Iām here.ā
āOne more push! You can do it!ā
āThey have your eyesāā
āCan you run to the store? Weāre out of diapers, again.ā
āIs it even possible for one baby to scream so much?ā
āUgh, they spit up on my good shirt.ā
āTheyāre your kid before 5am.ā
Shhhātheyāre finally asleep.ā
āIāve been up since 4am. Itās your turn.ā
āWe make damn beautiful babies, donāt we?ā
āThe kids wonāt stop fighting, again.ā
ā_____ got sent home from school for fighting.ā
ā_____ came home sick today. Great.ā
āHow do they outgrow their clothes so damn fast?ā
āTheir first word better not be a curse word. If it is, itās your fault.ā
āI think weāre damn good parents.ā
āWhy are both you, AND the baby, crying?ā
āCan you help _____ with their homework tonight, while I make dinner?ā
āItās your turn to change the dirty diaper.ā
āIs locking the kids in the closetāagainst the law?ā
āNo. Sheās not allowed to date. Ever. End of discussion.ā
āWow, they have a very natural talent for _____. Maybe theyāll be a _____ when they grow up.ā