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Ilya then has the rest of the Centaurs help him make a compilation of secretly filmed Shane moments showing how good a boyfriend he is

Ilya doing the “would you still love me if I was a worm?” thing and without missing a beat or asking any questions Shane just goes “Yeah”

Harris films himself asking Shane random Ilya questions and Shane always having an answer. “Hey what Ilya’s favorite milkshake flavor?” “Mint.” “I’m buying everyone fun socks, what’s Ilya’s favorite color?” “Blue, but only if it’s light, he doesn’t like dark blue.” “What’s Ilya’s favorite fruit?” “Pears.”

Troy waits for Shane to sit on the bench looking at his phone or tying his skates then says “Oh hey Ilya’s coming in” and catches multiple examples of Shane immediately scootching over to one side to make room for Ilya to sit next to him

Ilya puts his feet up on Shane’s lap silently and Shane starts lightly massaging them. Ilya lays his head on Shane’s shoulder and Shane starts quietly playing with his hair

They film Ilya handing Shane random things and asking him to hold them and Shane does without question. The internets favorite is the one where Ilya pulls a pineapple out of his bag and asks Shane to hold it and he agrees, getting his gear on one handed so he can keep holding the pineapple in the other

Derek doesn’t notice he’s doing it at first. He makes a habit of picking up the pack’s mannerisms, after all – it’s not that unusual that he knows Stiles doesn’t like anchovies but will fight Boyd to get to a pizza with double pepperoni. What is unusual is that Derek makes sure to order double pepperoni on everything.

But whatever, right? They’re american. Pepperoni is what they do.

The Jstor subscription charged to Derek’s credit card is slightly harder to explain. When he signs up, he tells himself it’s for the pack. Research is key, after all. And okay, so Stiles ends up being the only one with the login details - that’s just because he does the lions share of the research. It has nothing at all to do with him taking on a double load of subjects at college.

At all.

And, okay, the curly fries Derek makes sure to grab before picking Stiles up for stakeouts are maybe a little damning, but it’s not his fault that Stiles talks less if his mouth is occupied and- and…

Derek swears, staring in horror at the curly fries in the passenger seat. They may as well be glittering in a small velvet box for all his heart is suddenly trying to beat out of his chest.

Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles.

Holy fuck, he’s wooing Stiles with curly fries.

“Oh my god,” Stiles says, yanking the passenger side door open to grab at the food. “You are my hero.”

Derek watches, dumbstruck, as Stiles slouches into the seat and rips into the fries like he hasn’t seen food in a week. Crumbs fly everywhere. Stiles grunts like he’s on the discovery channel. It’s really, really disgusting.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Stiles’ head snaps around so hard, a fry actually launches from his lips to land in Derek’s lap. Derek picks it up and eats it with numb horror.

“Um,” Stiles says.

Derek closes his eyes and wishes very hard for a natural disaster. Or even a supernatural one. Sudden plague of land-based black holes. He could work with that.

Derek takes a breath. “You don’t have to-”

He doesn’t get any further, because there are suddenly long-fingered hands either side of his face and a warm mouth on his and- oh.

Stiles tastes like salt and peppermint – likely the gum he has a half packet of in his hoodie pocket. The same pocket Derek uses as leverage to yank Stiles over into his lap.