He says βI donβt get it, why are you still a virgin at 24?β He says βI donβt believe you, Iβve seen you walk, virgins donβt walk like thatβ He says, βThat ainβt natural, people are supposed to fuck.β He asks βWhy though? No offence though.β I ask βWhen was your first time?β He says βI was 12β He says βI know what youβre thinking, thatβs too young.β I look at his knuckles, he has two good hands. He says βShe was older than me.β I ask βHow old?β And he says βItβs better that the girl is older, thatβs how I learnt all things I knowβ He licks his lips. I ask again βHow old?β He says βI could use one finger to make you sobβ I think of my brother in prison and I canβt remember his face. I ask again βHow old?β He says βBoys become men in the laps of women, you know?β I think of my mothers faced lined with her bad choices in men. He says βIf you were mine you wouldnβt get away with this shit, Iβd eat you for hours, Iβd gut you like fruit.β I think of my cousins circumcision, how she feels like a mermaid, not human from the waist down. He says βIβd look after you, you know?β I laugh, I ask for the last time βHow old?β He says β34.β He says βShe was beautiful though and I know what youβre thinking but itβs not like that, Iβm a man, Iβm a man, Iβm a man. No one could ever hurt meβ.
Warsan Shire, Crude Conversations With Boys Who Fake Laughter Often (via cactuslungs)
