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@maslosza

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oh my God
this is the exact opposite of that video of the spiders in the big mass that starts swarming when the dude touches it
I don’t want to remember thT
I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.
Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things.
We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag.
Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc.
We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)
Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.”
After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room.
I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm
My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison.
But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)
So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.
Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.
“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese”
I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.
Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho
I’m a salty U.S. History Major, that’s why
This is the quality content I signed up for
when a baby is crying in the background and you use slow it down on snapchat
why does this always make me hysterical oh my fucking god
Fox in the snow (Source: http://ift.tt/2gsWYVM)

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RIP Vine †
VINE
I SWEAR TO @ GOD I LOVE YOU LIKE A CHILD
(the raven video, that beet video, that iggy video, the what do you mean vid)
have u seen anything so pure in your life
WHAY FHD FICK
me: *regretted staying up late last night*
me: *told myself i would go to bed early tonight*
me: *is up late again*
Texting/snapchating (✿ ♥‿♥)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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THEY SHOWED ME THIS VIDEO IN HIGH SCHOOL BIO
THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY HAD TO REWIND TO THIS POINT BECAUSE WE WERE ALL LAUGHING SO HARD
Student: “What if I wanna have sex before I get married?”
Teacher: *matter of factly* “Well I guess you just have to be prepared to die.”
Save your used doll heads to make fun night lights for your KIDS
im fuckin hilarious tbh
it took me a solid minute to figure this out
“hey wanna come over and get drunk or someth-”
me:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If you are having a bad day, please unmute.
(Huskie puppy doesn’t quite get the howling thing. Sounds like a baby babbling.)
“Banana!”
* day is fixed*
ok. i super needed this.
THIS. The whole world should watch this.