Double Trouble
Dabi X female!Reader (6.8k)
Your parents keep setting you up on blind dates with spoiled trust-fund guys, and you are absolutely determined to make this one unbearable enough that he leaves first. Meanwhile, Dabi gets offered ten grand to go on a blind date and scare a girl into rejecting the match. What neither of them expects is that the other is doing the exact same thing. So it becomes a disaster in real time: two stubborn idiots trying to out-perform each other in being the worst possible date, each convinced theyâre the one in control. Inspired by Business Proposal and Kendrick Lamarâs âWe Cry Together.â
contains: attempt at humor, swearing, kissing, banter,
Your parents had been setting you up on blind dates with rich trust-fund guys for the past month. You agreed to go because, somehow, each time they convinced you that this one would be different. This one would be mature. Charming. Successful. A gentleman.
Each and every time, they were wrong.
Those creatures were somehow the most boring, bland, and painfully egotistical people you had ever had the misfortune of meeting.
You still remembered the first guy.
You arrived at the restaurant only to find him already in the middle of a full-blown meltdown on the phone with his mother. Why? Because his barber had cut his sideburns half an inch too short. Half an inch. He was crying about how hideous he looked, how everyone would judge him, and how he was going to have a panic attack if she didnât immediately come fix them.
His own mother hung up on him.
A reasonable response, honestly.
For the rest of the date, Mamaâs Boy spent the entire evening complaining about how his mother didnât love him anymore because she had hung up. He analyzed her tone, her choice of words, the exact number of seconds before she disconnected.
Then, near the end of the date, she called him back to apologize to her precious baby boy.
How did you know this? Because the absolute idiot put her on speaker.
The second date was somehow even worse.
It wasnât enough that he was a snob with terrible fashion sense and a wine preference that could only be described as âwhatever costs the most money.â No, that would have been tolerable.
What made him unbearable was how he treated the staff.
Mr. Rich-The-Bitch over here complained about every little thing. A spoon was slightly misplaced? A disaster. The water wasnât poured fast enough? A personal attack.
At one point, he dropped his own spoon on the floor, called over a waiter to pick it up, and then blamed the poor man for being âunprofessional.â
The audacity.
As if that wasnât enough, he spent half the night staring at the waitresses ass instead of having a conversation. That was the moment you decided you had suffered enough. You gave him a piece of your mind so brutally that the man nearly cried before rushing out to his limousine with his expensive shoes clicking across the floor.
So, when your parents announced there would be one final blind date and that you had to either choose this guy or continue enduring their endless parade of rich disasters, you decided enough was enough.
Your cousin had a brilliant idea. If you couldnât refuse the dateâŠyou could make him refuse you.
The mission was simple: become the biggest walking red flag imaginable.
You went shopping and bought the most outrageously revealing, over-the-top dress you could find. You bought a ridiculous pink wig that looked like it belonged on a discount reality show, had your makeup done dramatically with enough glitter to blind someone under direct sunlight, and spent hours practicing the most obnoxious snobby voice and fake accent possible.
By the time you were finished, you looked like a woman who had spent one too many nights chasing wealthy sugar daddies and reality TV fame.
To your cousin, however, it wasnât enough. âNo, no, no,â she had said while circling you like a very judgmental fashion critic. âYou need to look more fake.â
Which was honestly terrifying advice. So she added unnecessary amounts of chest and hip padding and insisted you tell anyone who asked that they were expensive cosmetic procedures.
You sat down in front of her and struck an exaggerated pose. âMmm, darling,â you purred in your ridiculous new voice while tapping your fake nails together. âI donât think anyone can handle all of this.â
Your cousin stared at you. For exactly three seconds. Then she broke. âI canât take it anymore!â she wheezed, collapsing onto the couch as laughter escaped her. âIf he-oh my God-if he actually likes you after this, maybe heâs the one.â
You flipped your hair dramatically. âObviously. Iâm a luxury experience.â
That only made her laugh harder. She pointed at you while struggling to breathe. âPerfect. No man with common sense is going anywhere near you like this.â
She suddenly coughed. Then coughed again.
Your smile faded. âWhat?â
âThe perfume,â she managed to say between coughs. âThe amount of perfume you sprayed might actually kill him before you even finish introducing yourself.â
âEven better.â
â
Reon really didnât want to go on a blind date. The issue was that he was already dating someone. A hot, dangerous, infamous villain who was making a name for herself in the criminal world. And he was completely obsessed with her. He spoiled her rotten. Expensive gifts, expensive dinners, and anything she casually mentioned wanting once. If she looked at something for more than three seconds, he had probably already bought it.
Unfortunately, his parents found out.
They immediately set him up with a blind date and forced him to break up with her. A villain wasnât exactly the kind of woman they pictured their precious son bringing home.
Reon pretended he agreed. Then he went straight back to her, practically begging her to stay. âJust give me some time,â he had told her. âIâll figure something out.â
Which was how he found himself standing in the middle of a villain hideout, trying to hire someone to take his place and annoy a random woman so badly that she would reject him.
A completely normal solution.
There were already a handful of villains surrounding him, asking questions. Most of them had heard about Reon because of his girlfriend. That was the only reason he was allowed inside without being immediately robbed or thrown out. Well, that and the fact that everyone knew he was ridiculously rich.
âSoooâŠâ a man in a black and gray costume leaned forward excitedly. âWhat are we talking here? A hit? A kidnapping? Oh, wait, wait-is it blackmail?â The guy wasnât bad. Actually, that was the problem. He was too nice. If Reon sent him on the date, there was a genuine chance the woman would actually like him, and then he would have created an entirely new problem.
Before he could answer, a large lizard-like man shoved his way forward. âIf itâs a hit, Iâm up for it.â Absolutely not. Reon wanted to scare the woman away, not have her family wondering why the date they arranged showed up as a creepy lizard man.
His eyes wandered across the room. That was when he saw him. A man sitting alone at the bar.
Half his face was covered in leathery burn scars. His bright blue eyes stood out sharply against the damaged skin, cold and unreadable. His spiky hair looked like he had never once bothered with a comb in his life.
The shadowy bartender slid a drink toward him. The man grabbed it and downed the entire thing in one motion. At that moment, Reon knew.
Perfect.
Terrifying enough to scare anyone away. Probably rude. Definitely scary. Exactly what he needed. He pushed past the crowd and approached the burnt man.
The manâs blue eyes landed on him. Then they narrowed into a glare. âGet lost.â
Most people would have taken the hint. Reon was not most people. âAre you interested in a two-thousand-dollar job?â
Immediately, the man looked more interested. âWhoâs the target?â
âNot a hit.â
The man tilted his head. âThen what is it?â
Reon suddenly felt incredibly stupid saying this out loud. âA blind date.â
There was silence. The man blinked. Then his eyes shifted toward Reon. âWhat?â
Reon cleared his throat. âI need you to go on a blind date pretending to be me and scare the lady into rejecting me.â
Another pause. The man stared at him for several seconds. Then he slowly looked away. âYou have way too much money on your hands.â He took another drink. âGet lost.â
Reon did not move. The man noticed. Of course he did. Those sharp blue eyes slid over to him again, more irritated this time. The scars stretching across half his face shifted as his mouth pulled into a slight frown. âYou deaf?â
âNo.â
âThen youâre stupid.â
âA little bit.â
The man blinked. That was not the answer he expected. From the corner of the room, the guy in the black and gray costume burst out laughing. âDamn, rich boy actually admitted it.â
âShut up,â the scarred man muttered.
The villain raised his hands in surrender, still grinning. âOkay, okay, Dabi. Relax.â
Reonâs eyes widened slightly. So that was his name.
Slowly, Dabi turned his head. âDid the words not register, or are you just naturally annoying?â
âfour thousand.â
Dabi paused. The silence was so immediate that Reon almost smiled. Almost. Dabi stared at his drink. Then he took another sip. âNot interested.â
Reonâs eye twitched. âSeven thousand.â
A small grin pulled at Dabiâs mouth. There it was. The reaction. He was interested. He just didnât want Reon to know. âWow,â Dabi said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. âYou really are desperate.â
âVery.â
âAt least youâre honest.â
Reon stepped closer. âMy parents are trying to force me to marry some rich woman Iâve never met.â
âTragic.â
âI have a girlfriend.â
âGood for you.â
âI love her.â
Dabi looked over. For the first time, his expression shifted from annoyed to mildly interested. âReally?â
âYes.â
âYouâre standing in a villain hideout offering a stranger seven thousand dollars to ruin your arranged date because youâre too much of a coward to just tell your parents no?â
Reon opened his mouth. Then closed it. â...When you say it like that, I sound pathetic.â
âYou are pathetic.â A few villains nearby snorted.
Reon ignored them. âBut Iâm loyal.â
Dabi rolled his eyes. âSure.â
âI am.â
âMhmm.â
âSheâs amazing.â
âIâm sure she is.â
âSheâs the most beautiful woman in the world.â
Dabi groaned. âOh, hell. Disgusting.â
âDisgusting?â
âYour hopeless romantic idiot act.â
âIâm not an idiot.â
âYouâre paying a criminal to go on a fake date for you.â
A pause. âWhen you say it like that...â
Dabi stood up from the bar, stretching his arms. He was taller than Reon had realized. The difference in their presence was almost laughable. Reon looked like someone who belonged at a charity gala. Dabi looked like he belonged on a wanted poster. He probably did.
âYou know,â Dabi said, shoving his hands into his pockets, âIâve burned down buildings, fought heroes, and committed enough crimes to make the news for a year.â
âThatâs not reassuring.â
âAnd somehow, this is the dumbest job Iâve ever been offered.â
âIs that a yes?â
âNo.â
Reon sighed. âten thousand.â
Dabi stopped walking. The entire room went quiet. Even the lizard guy turned around. Dabi slowly looked back over his shoulder. âYouâre joking.â
âNo.â
âYouâd pay me ten grand to be a bad date?â
âYes.â
A smile spread across Dabiâs face. Not a nice smile. The kind of smile that made people immediately regret everything. Reon, unfortunately, thought it was progress.
Dabi walked back over. âWhat exactly are the rules?â
Reon straightened. âSo youâll do it?â
âDonât get excited. I just want to hear how stupid this gets.â
Reon took that as a victory. âOkay. Rule number one: donât kill her.â
Dabi stared. ââŠCanât promise anything rich boy.â
âIâm paying you ten grand.â
âFair.â
âRule number two, no permanent injuries.â
Dabi clicked his tongue. âYouâre taking all the fun out of this.â
âYou can scare her.â
âPsychological damage?â
âPreferably.â
âEmotional trauma?â
Reon hesitated. âWithin reason.â
Dabiâs grin widened. âOh? Okay I donât hate this arrangement.â
Reon suddenly had a terrible feeling. âWait.â
âWhat?â
âWhy are you smiling like that?â
Dabi grabbed his coat. âBecause, rich boy, Iâm going to be ten grand richer.â
Reon asked. âBut now?â
Dabi looked over his shoulder. âSend me the details.â
Reon watched him leave. For some reason, despite getting exactly what he wanted, he felt like he had made a catastrophic mistake.
From the other side of the room, someone called out. âHey, rich guy.â
Reon looked over. âYeah?â
The villain grinned. âHope your girlfriendâs worth it.â
Reon looked toward the door Dabi had walked through. Then he sighed. âShe is.â The entire hideout collectively decided he was somehow more embarrassing than the villains.
â
You were planning on arriving extremely late. Some people arrived fashionably late to these kinds of things. Ten minutes. Maybe twenty if they were really pushing it. But you? You sat in your expensive car for forty-five whole minutes, scrolling through your phone and occasionally checking your reflection in the mirror.
The ridiculous pink wig was still perfectly in place. The makeup was still obnoxiously overdone. The perfume was probably poisoning everyone within a five-meter radius. The man would take one look at you, realize you were a complete nightmare, and leave. That was the goal.
So, with your confidence at an all-time high, you finally stepped into the restaurant. And he wasnât there. You paused.
Weird. Did Reon leave? Your mother had informed you that was his name. Not that it mattered. You werenât planning on remembering it by the end of the night anyway.
You sat down anyway, crossing your legs and deciding to wait a little longer. If he didnât show up in another ten minutes, you would happily tell your parents that their precious final candidate had stood you up. A victory.
âSorry about being late.â A rough, deep voice came from behind you. âAn hour, was it, that you waited?â
Your eyes followed the sound. And immediately, you froze. That was not what you expected. At all.
He was wearing a dark leather jacket that stood out among the suits and fancy dresses in this restaurant. His bright blue eyes were sharp and unimpressed, and the skin along his jaw was scarred and burned, held together by metal staples.
He looked dangerous. Like the kind of man your parents would call security over before he even reached the table. Which made absolutely no sense. Your parents had spent the last month trying to set you up with rich, polished trust-fund babies who cried about bad haircuts and argued with waiters over spoons.
And now this?
This looked like the final boss of poor decisions. The man sat down across from you. His posture wasnât refined. There was no expensive watch being subtly shown off. No designer anything. No practiced smile meant to charm wealthy families.
He sat like someone who had spent his entire life doing whatever he wanted and didnât care whether anyone approved. Suspicion immediately filled your mind.
Wait.
Something wasnât adding up. Then another thought struck. He was later than you. Your eyes narrowed. You had intentionally been forty-five minutes late. Which meant this asshole had been over an hour late. If you had actually arrived on time, you would have been sitting there alone for a full sixty minutes.
The audacity. The absolute audacity. For a moment, you almost respected it. Almost. âNo, donât worry,â you said in your most over-the-top, fake, flirtatious voice as you leaned across the table. âI only got here fifteen minutes ago.â
His blue eyes stared at you. Unmoving. A strange silence passed between you.
Well. Whatever. A scary face wasnât going to scare you off. You had survived Mamaâs Boy and Mr. Rich-The-Bitch. This guy had no idea who he was dealing with. You were still going to make him regret showing up.
He offered a lopsided smirk, his voice dropping an octave. âOh? Then maybe Iâll take my apology back.â
âWoah, and here I was expecting actual manners,â you teased, your voice pitching high with a sharp, faux indignation that drew a few curious glances from the neighboring tables. You smoothed the expensive fabric of your designer outfit, gesturing with a manicured hand to your silhouette as if to remind him of the sheer cost that you wasted to scare him off. âYou donât even look like you could afford to tip, let alone me.â
He paused, as he leaned back into the velvet depths of the chair. He didnât look insulted; he looked like he was studying a particularly strange insect. His eyes remained heavy and unblinking, tracking the movement of your hands with a slow, predatory stillness. âDidnât know you were on sale,â he muttered, his tone so flat and disinterested it was as if he were talking to the wall rather than a woman.
âWhat are you looking at?â you snapped, the annoyance prickling at your skin. He was being far too silent, refusing to give you the dignified, flustered response, of a man who wants to leave, should have offered. How dare he be this unimpressed?
âYour chest,â he replied simply, his gaze dropping with shameless care.
The bluntness of it caught you off guard. Your first instinct was to reach for the heavy glass jar of water on the table and splash him senseless, but you forced yourself to settle. Instead, you poured a glass, sipping it slowly to keep your composure. You couldnât let this bastard get under your skin; you were supposed to be the one intimidating him, yet the intensity of his stare was sending a frantic shiver down your spine.
âWoahh, really?â you purred, shifting your posture to lean into the attention. You let your hands dance playfully over your curves. âI actually had them done a while ago in America. They were ten thousand each. This one is Veronika, and the other is Jessica.â
A sharp scoff escaped him, and he leaned forward, nearly choking on his own amusement. âVeronika and Jessica, huh?â His eyes darkened, a flicker of something mischievous dancing in them. âIâd really love to meet them one day.â
Okay, creepy. Also... hot? What the fuck. The realization made you feel flustered. To distract yourself from the heat rising in your cheeks, you change topics. âAnyway,â you say, louder than necessary.
Time for operation: unbearable.
âWe still havenât properly introduced ourselves, right?â you asked sweetly before giving him your name.
He stared at you for a second. A little too long. Like he had genuinely forgotten his own name. Ridiculous. âIâm uh-â
You blinked. No. No way. âReon, right?â you asked slowly.
There was a brief pause. Almost like he was relieved. âOh. Yeah.â Another pause. âThatâs my name.â
You stared at him. There was no way. Absolutely no way. How did a grown man forget his own name? This had to be a new level of arrogance. He was so rich that he forgot his own identity? Unbelievable. You smiled brightly. Internally, you were concerned. Not because he was scary. Not because of the scars. Not because he looked like he had committed at least three felonies. No. You were concerned because your parents had somehow managed to find a man who was either incredibly stupid or completely insane.
And somehow, neither option surprised you anymore.
You lean back dramatically. âSo,â you begin, voice suddenly sharp and overly confident, âIâve had better dates.â Pause. Nothing. Not even a blink.
You continue anyway. âMy ex used to drive a Lamborghini,â you say casually. âNot that it matters. I broke up with him because he cried during a Marvel movie.â Still nothing. You narrow your eyes. Okay. Weird response.
You pivot harder. âActually, I donât even like guys who donât cry at movies,â you add. âItâs a red flag.â
He watched you through the haze of his own boredom. No blinking. No nodding. No polite little reactions to reassure you he was listening. Just⊠stillness. Like your words were something happening far away, unrelated to him entirely.
When you mentioned the red flag of men not crying at movies, something flickered in his eyes.
Amusement. Brief. Almost missed. But it was there. And just as quickly, he buried it under that same lazy, cynical mask. He leaned forward. The fabric of his coat shifted with a low rustle as his elbows hit the table, invading your space without hesitation. Not enough to touch you.
Enough to make it uncomfortable. Enough to make you aware you were trapped in it with him. âA Lamborghini, huh?â he repeated slowly, voice dripping with sarcasm. âSounds expensive.â A pause. âAnd loud.â His gaze flicked over you. âJust like you, apparently.â
Your eye twitched. He didnât stop there.
His fingers drifted to the centerpiece on the table, a delicate arrangement of flowers. He didnât touch them gently. He poked at them idly, like he was considering how easy it would be to ruin them just to see what youâd do.
Then he looked back at you.
Dead center. Unblinking. âThe crying thing,â he said, voice lower now. He let the silence stretch. Too long. Uncomfortable on purpose. Then he leaned in just a fraction closer. His presence hit different up close, something sharp underneath the calm, like smoke and static in the air. âDo I look to you,â he asked quietly, âlike I cry at any movie?â
You swallowed. âNo.â The answer came out faster than you meant it to.
A faint smirk tugged at his mouth. âGood,â he murmured. He took a sip of his drink.
You leaned forward again trying to regain your composure. âSo,â you say, pointing at him, âwhat do you even drive? Because if itâs not something expensive, Iâm going to be disappointed.â
A pause. ââŠNothing you canât afford,â he says flatly.
Your brain short-circuits for half a second. Excuse you?? You recover instantly. âOh my GOD,â you say, slamming your hand lightly on the table. âThat is so embarrassing for you to admit.â
Still nothing from him. No reaction. No embarrassment. No nothing. Itâs like talking to a wall that occasionally insults you back. You push further. âI should also tell you,â you continue, leaning in like youâre confessing something scandalous, âI think piercings are overrated.â
That gets a reaction. Finally, a small glance. Barely there. But itâs something. You latch onto it immediately. âYes,â you nod seriously, âI said it. Ugly. Overhyped. Emotionally disappointing.â
He reached up, his long, scarred fingers tracing the edge of a staple near his jawline, his touch almost a caress to the metal. He looked at your eyes with a gaze that was suddenly much sharper, much more focused.
You pause. Wait. Why are you insulting his piercings? Now you feel guilty.
"Look at you," He sneered, his voice dripping with quiet cruelty that felt far more personal than his previous sarcasm. He gestured vaguely toward you, his fingers twitching as if he were pointing out a flaw in a piece of cheap merchandise. "Are you not embarrassed to go out looking like a hooker?" The words were designed to sting. He let out a short, derisive snort, his lip curling in a way that made the staples around his mouth pull taut. He leaned back. "Well, it doesnât matter, does it?" he said, his tone dismissive, as if your opinion of him was entirely irrelevant. "I wouldnât touch you with a ten foot pole," He said, his voice final, like the closing of a coffin lid.
The sting of his words was sharp, a jagged blade aimed straight at your pride, but you refused to let the mask slip. If he wanted to treat you like a cheap commodity, then thatâs perfect, you came here to get him to reject you.
Taking note to never insult his piercings, you decided to not respond.
Instead you forced your hands to remain steady as you waved down a waiter with a practiced, haughty flick of your wrist. You grabbed the menu, your finger stabbing at a particularly expensive looking entrée with aggressive, unearned confidence.
âThis one,â you announce. âAnd make it dramatic.â
The waiter hesitates. âDramatic how?â
You pointed at him without thinking. âLike him,â you said. And immediately regretted it. Your eyes widened. ââŠI mean, NOT like him. Nothing can be as over the top as whatever he is.â
His eyebrows lifted. âMe?â he asked, genuine disbelief creeping into his voice. âIâm over the top?â
âMhm.â
He scoffed. âYou look-â
âOh, donât even start again,â you cut him off, pointing a manicured finger at him. âLook at what youâre wearing.â
He glanced down at his leather jacket. âWhatâs wrong with it?â
You stared. Actually stared. âYou came into an expensive five-star restaurant looking like you belong in a motorcycle gang.â
A pause. The corner of his mouth twitched. Not a smile. Definitely not a smile.
âThe only reason they havenât kicked you out yet is because everyone here is terrified youâll make a scene.â The waiter cleared his throat. You pointed immediately. âSee?â
Reon looked over. The waiter looked away. Very quickly. He turned back to you. ââŠThat doesnât prove anything.â
âOh my God, youâre in denial.â
âYouâre wearing a neon pink wig.â
âItâs fashion.â
âItâs a cry for help.â
Your jaw dropped. âHow dare you.â
âItâs ugly.â
âActually, it cost three hundred dollars.â
âThatâs somehow worse.â
You put a hand over your chest, genuinely offended. âYou know what? I donât think you appreciate art.â
âI think whoever sold you that wig is a criminal.â
You froze. A beat passed. Then another. The irony. The absolute irony. âYou know what?â you said slowly. âFor the first time tonight, I think we actually agree on something.â
That earned a pause from him. His eyes narrowed. âYouâre annoying.â
You smiled brightly. âThank you.â
âThat wasnât a compliment.â
âWow. You really say that a lot.â
âBecause you keep taking insults as compliments.â
âWell, maybe you should try being nicer.â
âMaybe you should try being less embarrassing.â
Your eye twitched. Silence. You slowly settled down. Perfect. Absolutely flawless execution. You are definitely not losing control of this situation. Not even a little. You glanced at him, trying to fix the atmosphere. âWhat do you like?â
He didnât even glance at the menu. His expression remained dead serious as he looked the waiter straight in the eye. âOh, Iâd like to eat her out right now, actually.â
Your brain practically short circuited, a hot, prickling flush creeping up your neck as your mouth hung open in sheer, unmitigated shock.
What the absolute fuck?
One second he was sneering at you like you were something heâd scraped off the bottom of his boot, and the next, he was throwing out the most inappropriate, scandalous proposition in the history of fine dining. The sheer audacity of the pivot was humiliating, leaving you feeling exposed under the bright lights of the restaurant.
âAre-!â You stammered, your cool facade finally cracking as you hissed the word under your breath. You leaned in, your voice a frantic, low whisper. âAre you actually insane? You canât just... say things like that in a place like this! Do you have no sense of decorum, or is âbeing a total degenerateâ just your entire personality?â
A slow, teasing smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, his gaze heavy and unbothered. âOh? Does that embarrass you?â
You felt the heat climb up your neck, eyes darting around the dimly lit restaurant. âYes! No normal human being says something that blunt with a completely straight face,â you hissed again, leaning in closer to him to keep your voice low.
âWhat, youâre taken aback because I think we should fuck?â he countered, his tone dropping into that low, gravelly register that made your heart skip a beat.
âStop it,â you pleaded, though your hand instinctively drifted to the table, fingers brushing against his.
âWhy? Are you actually scared of the word? Say it, fuck.â
âPeople are staring,â you whispered, your skin flushing a deep rose as you tried to regain some semblance of dignity.
âWho?â he asked, looking entirely too smug for a man sitting in public. âShould I kill them?â
âWhat, youâre joking.â
You bit your lip, glancing helplessly toward the waiter, who was currently frozen mid step, a notepad poised in hand as he waited, only for Reon to snap a lethal, predatory glare in his direction. The temperature at the table spiked instantly.
âWhat the fuck are you looking at?â He growled, his posture shifting as he began to stand, a flicker of dangerous blue flame licking at his palms. His gaze swept over the waiter with terrifying intensity. âYou tryna embarrass my girl?â
âHey! Hey, calm down!â You hissed, your heart hammering against your ribs as you lunged forward to press your hands against his chest, trying to force him back into the booth before he caused a literal riot. The man was absolutely unhinged, and you were certain they were seconds away from being kicked out or arrested. "Sit down before you burn the whole restaurant down, you idiot!â
â
Dabi was about to lose it. He could feel it bubbling up in his chest, something between a laugh and a scoff, sharp and uncontrollable. He really wanted to laugh. Actually laugh. Not because this was funny in a normal way. But because it was so absurd it circled all the way back around to entertaining.
Has he ever been on an actual date? Fuck no.
Why the hell would he waste time doing something like that? Sitting around, pretending to care, smiling like an idiot, listening to boring small talk about nothing that mattered. That kind of shit wasnât for him. Never was.
But this? This wasnât a date. This was chaos dressed up in expensive perfume.
And the girl across from him, whatever her deal was, was actively trying to make him leave. Or at least she thought she was. That was the funny part. She had no idea he was doing the exact same thing. Trying to ruin it. And it was working. Not in the way she thought. But in a way that made this whole situation genuinely entertaining. Scaring people. Pushing buttons. Watching reactions crack and spiral out of control. Hell yeah. That part? That he understood. That part? That he liked.
Dabi leaned towards her slightly, eyes half-lidded as he watched her like she was some kind of twisted performance he hadnât paid for but was enjoying anyway.
Yeah.
This was way better than some real date. Way better than pretending to be normal. Normal was boring. This? This was a game worth a ten grand win.
âHe was looking at you. I should kill him right now,â he said, his voice dripping with empty threats. He didnât actually give two shits about the guy. He was just saying whatever sounded the most embarrassing and terrifying in the moment.
He watched her eyes widen for half a second, a small tremble passing over her expression before she immediately slipped back into her ridiculous act.
âOh, youâre right! How dare he look at me!â she gasped dramatically, her voice so exaggerated that it took every bit of Dabiâs self-control not to scoff. She was a terrible actress. Absolutely awful. âBut why did you call me your girl?â she continued, tilting her head with an over-the-top smile. âThat kind of title requires a much more serious conversation.â
âWhat kind?â he asked, sitting back in his chair with a lazy, lopsided smirk. It would be a lie to say he wasnât feeling completely out of place; the sheer opulence of the venue made him itch to burn the whole damn building to the ground just to see if the flames matched the decor.
âThe kind that involves a hotel card, a condom, and just you and me,â She purred, her eyes shimmering with a playful, dangerous heat. Dabi actually choked on his own breath, a rare moment of genuine shock breaking his cool facade. Is she fucking stupid? he wondered, staring at her face. Can she not tell heâs a criminal, not some high society suitor?
âOh, Iâm not much for hotels,â he countered, his voice dripping with mockery as he regained his composure. âI prefer things a little more... loud.â
âI like things quiet!â she hissed, her wavy pink wig swaying as she leaned in, her patience thinning.
âOh no, I think we should be loud. And public,â he teased, clearly enjoying the way he could needle her.
âThink again, Reon, Iâm the one deciding!â she snapped, her hand trembling slightly with a mix of irritation and adrenaline.
âI donât know, Iâm the man, right? Women are usually too dim to make the big calls anyway â
That was the final straw. Her face contorted, her expression shifting from sultry to murderous so quickly it was a wonder she didnât actually start steaming. She slammed her hands onto the table, leaning into his space until he could feel the heat radiating off her. "One more word out of that scarred mouth about what a woman can do," she breathed, her voice low and lethal, "and youâll be the one begging for mercy."
âOh? Begging for mercy?â Dabi leaned forward, the heat radiating from his palms enough to make the air shimmer. âCan a woman really do anything? Looking at you, sweetheart, I think I could kill you in seconds.â
A chill that had nothing to do with the air conditioning raced down her spine, sending goosebumps blooming across her skin. Her eyes twitched, a flicker of genuine, unadulterated fear crossing her face before it was swallowed by pure, indignant rage. âI-damn it! Iâm leaving! Iâve had enough of your ego!â She snatched her bag from the table, her movements frantic and uncoordinated as she stormed toward the exit.
Dabi didnât rush. He stood up with a lazy, predator-like grace, offering a mocking wave to an elderly, wealthy couple who were staring at the scene in stunned silence. He followed her out into the night, his footsteps heavy and deliberate against the pavement.
By the time he caught up, She was already fumbling at the door of her car, her hands trembling as she pried her bag open, desperately searching for her keys.
âLeaving so soon?â he hummed, his voice a low, vibrating drawl in the quiet air.
She spun around, losing her balance for a split second as she stumbled back against the car door. âJust fuck off, damn it!â she snapped, her eyes darting back to her bag as she continued her frantic search.
âAnd here I thought you were going to have me begging for mercy,â he mocked, his voice dripping with amusement. He stepped into her personal space, the light from the streetlamp catching the silver staples in his skin as he dangled her keys just out of her reach, âLooking for these? Oh and by the way you said fuck, do I win something for that?â
â
You paused. Stunned. Annoyed. Shaken. Every single emotion fought for control over your expression, and judging by the way his stupid smirk grew, you were failing miserably.
You wanted to leave the moment this asshole showed up an hour late. Actually, no. You wanted to leave the moment he somehow managed to outdo your own intentional lateness. The audacity of that alone should have been enough to make you walk away. You wanted to leave when he started making those disgusting jokes.
You wanted to leave when you realized, to your own horror, that some of those jokes were actually funny.
You wanted to leave when he threatened a waiter and acted like he was one bad mood away from turning the entire restaurant into a nightmare.
You wanted to leave when he suddenly started acting possessive over you out of absolutely nowhere.
And you definitely wanted to leave when he started insulting women.
That was it. That was the line. Not the lateness. Not the terrifying attitude. Not the fact that he looked like he belonged in a criminal lineup rather than a five-star restaurant. No. Somehow, unbelievably, the thing that finally broke your patience was his ego. Which made you even more annoyed with yourself. Because why the hell did it take you this long?
âGive me my fucking keys!â you snapped, lunging toward him with a desperate grab, but he simply stepped back with a lazy, infuriating grace. Your skin flushed a deep rose from a mix of embarrassment and pure fury as you pressed your back against the cool metal of the car. âIâm going home. Now.â
âNah I donât think so,â he countered, his voice dripping with a sarcasm that made your teeth ache. He tilted his head. âYou were the one suggesting a hotel, werenât you? I think we should follow through.â
âOh man, please, just give me my damn keys!â you groaned, burying your face in your hands for a fleeting second. It was humiliating; you, a grown woman, standing in a dimly lit parking lot, practically pleading for your own property.
âI donât know,â he hummed, dangling the keychain just out of your reach, his eyes glinting with mischief. âYou said I had an ego. I think you should do a little more begging.â
You bit your lip so hard it nearly bled, your eyes flashing as you tried to regain your composure. âCome on, donât be difficult. Just hand them over and we can go our separate ways. Please.â
A low, dark chuckle vibrated in his chest. âHaha. Youâre never getting these keys, sweetheart.â
The last shred of your patience snapped like a dry twig. You stepped into his space, glaring up at him with murderous intent. âOh, fuck off and give me my keys, you absolute bitch!â
His smirk didnât falter. âOh, youâre mad now? I donât like that attitude,â he murmured, his voice dropping an octave as he crowded you against the car.
You froze, the heat of his body pressing you against the metal car door, his heavy gaze making your skin prickle. For a second, you just stared at him, your mind racing through a dozen different ways to slap that smug, lopsided smirk right off his face.
But then, a sudden, reckless impulse took hold a âfuck itâ moment that bypassed all logic. Instead of pushing him away, you surged upward, hooking your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him down as you crashed your lips against his.
The keys were still clutched in his hand, forgotten and dangling uselessly between you, as you poured all your indignant, simmering frustration into the kiss.
He froze for a fraction of a second, the sudden impact of your body against his catching him completely off guard. He was prepared for a slap, a shove, or even a scream, but not this. The sheer, unadulterated ferocity of your kiss was like a sudden burst of blue flame, hot and consuming. The metallic taste of your bitten lip and the frantic energy of your movements sent a jolt of pure electricity straight to his gut.
His eyes widened, the turquoise irises shimmering in the dim light of the parking lot, before they hooded again, darkening with a sudden, intense hunger. He let go of the keys in his hand, forgotten as his fingers instinctively curled around your waist, pulling you flush against him.
He didnât just return the kiss; he met the intensity with a predatory force of his own. His tongue swept against yours, a rough, demanding motion that sought to dominate the very breath in your lungs.
A low, guttural sound vibrated deep in his throat, somewhere between a groan and a growl. He leaned into you, his lanky frame pinning you more firmly, creating a stark contrast between the cold steel and the searing heat of his skin. His hands slid down from your waist, one pressing firmly into your back to arch your body into his, while the other tangled into your wig, his fingers tugging just enough to tilt your head back and expose the line of your throat.
The irritation from this day, the exhaustion, the sheer annoyance of the venue it all burned away, replaced by a singular, driving need to reclaim the control you were so brazenly trying to steal.
You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your chest heaving as you stared up at him with eyes that were still hazy with heat and lingering fury. His arrogance hung in the air, but you werenât about to give him the satisfaction of a witty retort or a submissive gaze.
Instead, you waited for the split second his grip loosened in his surprise, and with a lightning fast movement, you snatched the keys from where they had slipped to the pavement.
Without a single word of surrender, you ducked under his arm, scrambled into the driverâs seat, and slammed the door shut with a definitive, echoing thud. As you peeled away into the night, you caught one last glimpse of his stunned silhouette in the rearview mirror, leaving him standing there in the dark with nothing but his ego to keep him company.
â
a/n: this has been setting in my drafts for a year now!! enjoy :DD (also pls send requests i cant keep editing my old works </3)











