ik I am takin the steps but I really hate it and am miserable here and am hopeless of anythin gettin any better under my aunt and her bfs roof

its cuz my whole life is yet again subject to someone else's whims and such. like. ik I have made progress in the.... like four and a half months ive been here but that progress hasn't had any payoff for me yet. even havin a np and a psychiatrist and a therapist and medication now is like well.... the lyrica hasn't started workin, the lamotragine hasn't started workin, I can only go to therapy on the one day a week someone else has off their job and if it doesn't work with my schedule or my therapists schedule, I just dont get to go to therapy that week. I dont have my license and my ability to even take my road test is restricted to whenever my little cousin happens to make the three hour drive up here and thats provided her, me and my aunt all have the time. then I finally get this job and they fuck up my onboardin and it turns out im not in the system and im not on the schedule and blah blah blah wtfever so now my first check is gonna b a paper one and i might get it tomorrow, I might get it the next day, I might get it next week, nobody knows. I have no money, I depend on my aunt and her bf for everythin- food (tho my foodshare money goes to them for some reason. none of us understand why.), rides, whatever i may need.

oh also I am basically the third (half the time their second, dependin on whether their fathers drunk enough to piss the bed) parent and am available for childcare of a two, a three and an eleven year old for 13+ hours a day on my days off, which i desperately need to recuperate from the days I work now cuz I am Severely Disabled and cannot refuse cuz itd create conflict and consequences for me and my aunt would say it's fine but it wouldnt functionally b fine. and when I do start gettin my checks, theyre gonna start expectin to recieve part of it which like. yeah, ik I should b contributin but how tf am I ever supposed to leave if im givin em my money!! I need outta here!!

ive been late for work twice in my first two weeks btw cuz my aunt won't Get The Fuck Outta Bed in time

ik I am takin the steps but I really hate it and am miserable here and am hopeless of anythin gettin any better under my aunt and her bfs roof

its cuz my whole life is yet again subject to someone else's whims and such. like. ik I have made progress in the.... like four and a half months ive been here but that progress hasn't had any payoff for me yet. even havin a np and a psychiatrist and a therapist and medication now is like well.... the lyrica hasn't started workin, the lamotragine hasn't started workin, I can only go to therapy on the one day a week someone else has off their job and if it doesn't work with my schedule or my therapists schedule, I just dont get to go to therapy that week. I dont have my license and my ability to even take my road test is restricted to whenever my little cousin happens to make the three hour drive up here and thats provided her, me and my aunt all have the time. then I finally get this job and they fuck up my onboardin and it turns out im not in the system and im not on the schedule and blah blah blah wtfever so now my first check is gonna b a paper one and i might get it tomorrow, I might get it the next day, I might get it next week, nobody knows. I have no money, I depend on my aunt and her bf for everythin- food (tho my foodshare money goes to them for some reason. none of us understand why.), rides, whatever i may need.

oh also I am basically the third (half the time their second, dependin on whether their fathers drunk enough to piss the bed) parent and am available for childcare of a two, a three and an eleven year old for 13+ hours a day on my days off, which i desperately need to recuperate from the days I work now cuz I am Severely Disabled and cannot refuse cuz itd create conflict and consequences for me and my aunt would say it's fine but it wouldnt functionally b fine. and when I do start gettin my checks, theyre gonna start expectin to recieve part of it which like. yeah, ik I should b contributin but how tf am I ever supposed to leave if im givin em my money!! I need outta here!!

ik I am takin the steps but I really hate it and am miserable here and am hopeless of anythin gettin any better under my aunt and her bfs roof

its cuz my whole life is yet again subject to someone else's whims and such. like. ik I have made progress in the.... like four and a half months ive been here but that progress hasn't had any payoff for me yet. even havin a np and a psychiatrist and a therapist and medication now is like well.... the lyrica hasn't started workin, the lamotragine hasn't started workin, I can only go to therapy on the one day a week someone else has off their job and if it doesn't work with my schedule or my therapists schedule, I just dont get to go to therapy that week. I dont have my license and my ability to even take my road test is restricted to whenever my little cousin happens to make the three hour drive up here and thats provided her, me and my aunt all have the time. then I finally get this job and they fuck up my onboardin and it turns out im not in the system and im not on the schedule and blah blah blah wtfever so now my first check is gonna b a paper one and i might get it tomorrow, I might get it the next day, I might get it next week, nobody knows. I have no money, I depend on my aunt and her bf for everythin- food (tho my foodshare money goes to them for some reason. none of us understand why.), rides, whatever i may need.