thunder under earth

full name: maryam joyce date of birth: 11 april 1990 gender & pronouns: cis woman, she/her

@nothillstarters

𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 quiet shift at Next Chapter – something that Margo was certainly fine with. Even still, the woman could feel herself slowly but surely being consumed by her boredom the longer she stood. Behind the counter she clasped a book in hand: a collection of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short works. That is, until she noticed a customer approach the register, noticeably empty handed.

“Hi.” Margo flashes a shy smile, leaning against the counter with a sense of quiet attentiveness. She wonders at times why she applied for this job, especially considering she is not all that social. “…How can I help you?”

While she had always been a big reader and even bigger hoarder of books, her ability to get lost in a story had slowly but surely disappeared. She still read, most likely more than most, but the books and papers were all non-fiction and mostly related to her work and the research that came with it. So, stood in front of the counter of the local bookshop, Maryam hoped she could get some professional insight. 

“Do you think you could offer me some recommendations?” she asked, having picked up a random book from the nearest shelf to her. “I would really like to get back to reading fiction, but I don’t know where to start.” 

LOCATION: the park

CLOSED STARTER FOR: maryam joyce ( @maryamjoyce​ )

        making her way down the pathway, aaliyah was holding something in her hand. this wasn’t hers, it belonged to someone else and after asking two people, they both said the same thing — this belonged to someone who was heading down this way. she hoped to catch up with them and give them their stuff back. seeing only one other person going down the same path, she sped up a little bit and made her way towards them, moving her hair behind her shoulder gently before clearing her throat so that she could speak.       “ uh… excuse me, i-is this yours? ” she asked, sending the other a small smile as she lifted up the object in question. “ a bunch of people are saying that it is, but i just wanna make sure. ”

A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she realised the friendly stranger was holding the case of her earbuds. While not a sentimental or in any way meaningful possession, its disappearance would have certainly been a financial loss. She couldn’t keep buying new earphones on a lecturer’s salary, no matter how necessary it might have been. “It is,” she practically squealed, evidently very pleased by the turn of events. She hadn’t had the chance to notice the case had dropped from her traitorously shallow pocket, but the fact that it had been found was nonetheless a good thing. “Thank you so much. It’s these damn pockets. Apparently they don’t need to be actually functional in quote unquote women’s clothing.” 

Location: Notting Hill Cafe

Rodrick was in the process of closing up the cafe for the night. It was a weak day, not too many customers, and so he let most of his workers finish up their shift and go home, the rest were busy washing up and stacking up chairs on tables. Rick finished wiping up the counter and sat down on one of the stools. He opened up a bottle of white wine and poured himself a glass. He turned his head at the sound of the door opening and saw a person walk in. “The coffee machine’s off, but you’re more than welcome to join me for for a glass of wine.” He said, gesturing with a slight nod of his head towards the bottle.

“Look, I’m definitely not one of those annoying customers who wander in just when a place is closing,” she hurried to explain herself the moment she stepped in, “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that.” She was beyond pleased to see Rick, and immediately decided that her day had taken a turn for the better. Lugging around her comically large backpack best suited for hiking or other outdoors-y activities, Maryam made her way to the bar. “That sounds brilliant. I’ve spent the day at the library, pretending to read research articles. It’s very tiring, pretending to read.” She shook her head. “Hope yours has been more productive.”

    “i love her.” there had been no time to fully process what had happened but the closest emmeline had got to it was crying with clara during the nights. the felt responsible for it all. while she hadn’t directly pushed to have a child, she’d certainly felt pressure from her family and thought if she did want a child then it was the time to have one. she really loved clara but she didn’t expect her husband to leave her a week after she was born. “i can’t even think about him…” her voice was quiet as she started to cry. “i have her to think about but i’m just so, so tired and i can’t do it on my own.” she was stressed out beyond belief and it was having many physical affects on her. “i can’t do it.” the woman was unable to hide the fact that she was crying in front of the other. “i need him to come back.”

              it was too late to stop the water works. emmeline pressed herself into the back of the sofa as she cried and it took clara for a couple of moments to echo her. “see! i can’t catch a break!” she’d unravelled pretty quickly in front of maryam but it was the words that had reminded her what had happened. “i’m so tired and my fridge looks like a ghost down and i’m having issues with my supply even though she’s constantly close to me but i feel like i can’t fix i-” running out of breath cut her off as she sobbed whilst clara shrieked. emmeline wanted to go and comfort clara but she felt like she physically couldn’t; face pressed against the fabric of the sofa and legs tucked upwards, she continued to cry. she was in too much of a state to say anything or do anything this wasn’t how the nights were but she felt like she was breaking. 

Oh, she could’ve strangled that no good cousin of hers. Alas, she had no idea where he had disappeared, and leaving on a wild goose chase did not seem like the most productive or helpful thing. Maryam was convinced that would’ve been easier as comforting someone going through such a difficult time seemed near impossible. “You don’t have to feel like you can do it all on your own, you won’t have to. I am sure it feels like that right now, and that’s obviously a very valid feeling. Right now you just have to survive through this really fucking shitty situation, that’s all. You can worry about all the rest later, much later.” She cleared her throat quietly, careful not to make too much noise. Not that it really mattered. 

"Shit,” she muttered as both Emmeline and her daughter started crying. She could handle the baby, babies were simple, but how on earth could she help the mother of said baby? Could she just prance to the Moses basket and pick Clara up? Maybe Emmeline did not want anyone touching the baby and would only grow more upset if she went ahead comforting Clara. That being said, telling the poor woman to get her crying baby seemed incredibly insensitive. “Emmeline,” she began softly, not entirely convinced her voice could be heard over the crying, “do you think you need a moment to yourself right now? Just a few minutes. I can look after Clara.”

“Oh absolutely, I mean it’s not like there aren’t enough people around here for them to see every time they’ve asked me about taking something from them that I have said no, you would think they would have given up by now, but no. I’m almost impressed by their sheer determination to get someone to take their product.” Wendy teased, suddenly stopping and pressing the back of her hand to her forehead incredibly dramatically. “Oh no, it’s almost as though… Women… Are the fairer, weaker sex, and we couldn’t possibly say no to someone!”

“Maybe it’s a challenge for them, something to keep their day exciting. I know I have to come up with little tasks like that to make things a little less dull on certain days.” While she genuinely adored her job, the days spent grading and handling the more administrative side of things were nothing short of torturous. On those days she had to find different ways to keep herself motivated, otherwise the piles of papers would simply keep on growing. “Right? Unfortunately that’s something loads of people expect. And I guess there can be a bit of truth to that. Women are conditioned to be, I don’t know, more approachable, I guess.” 

“I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit, too.  I dream so big but then I get maybe halfway through if I’m lucky and get too tired to continue, and just live in a disorganized mess until I can pull myself together.”  Pulling out her phone, Rehema pulled up a photo of a pastel yellow and blue concept she’d found on Pinterest.  “Something maybe like this?  It’s bright without being too overwhelming.”

“Ah, a tried-and-true method,” she sighed, an amused smile spread across her lips and reaching her dark brown eyes. “Although I suppose interior designers wouldn’t exactly recommend using said method. I mean, it’s so much fun at first, you know, rediscovering all sorts of things you forget you had, but then the despair takes over.” Maryam grimaced before leaning in to have a good look at the pictures. “That’s really pretty. I say we start as soon as possible. I need a new hobby, or something to keep me active.” 

“You could also check Google - there has been more than one occasion where I’m standing in front of the liquor shelves asking the internet which one has the strongest proof but best taste,” he let out a soft, humorless laugh, a little embarrassed at how true the admission was.  “I think there are some people who’s entire job is just to know stuff about wine.  What are the odds that one of them would work here at the tesco?”

Maryam smiled briefly as she turned to study the bottles, trying to busy herself with the task at hand. She didn’t feel comfortable continuing the subject or asking any awkward questions, not when she didn’t necessarily want to hear the answers. “Oh, I know. And I’ve spent what feels like hours Googling. I guess I just want my colleagues to think I’m as established and grownup as they are,” she finally admitted sheepishly, certain the colour of her cheeks had shifted to a giveaway shade of red. “I don’t know, they all seem to have everything figured out. It’s probably not the case, but that’s how it feels.”

It had been a stupid thing to say really because Leo had absolutely no idea what someone who knew about wine was supposed to look like. He imagined that neither one of them did really. “Mostly. Like my father,” he offered her with a casual shrug. His father was probably one of the biggest snobs that he knew, both about wine and otherwise. It was no wonder that they’d never really got on, they couldn’t have been more different.

“Least that’s what I always got told,” he offered her. “And I eat a lot of fish.” That’s what happened when you turned pescatarian of course. 

“Ah, I see.” While she had no real way of knowing what the relationship between the young man and his father looked like, Maryam could make an educated guess. It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to deduce that inquiring about the father in question would have most likely been a bad idea. So, Maryam decided against any further questions and simply nodded. “That’s very helpful, though. I’ve had wine before, but I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of being around folks who know a lot about it. In fact, I’ve mostly enjoyed the boxed kind, and that’s obviously far from fancy.” 

Louis never wanted people to think they were bothering him, he might be an introvert, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like talking to people. It was a requirement for his work anyway, so he had gotten more used to talking to people. “Usually I would be doing some of the same, mostly about how to stop being at home so much, however it’s a little easier when you work from home.” He chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t know wine super well, but he knew a few things. “You said salmon? Go for a chardonnay. Tends to work with most things honestly.” 

“Thank you,” she breathed out, beyond grateful for the help she had received from the kind stranger. “Normally I wouldn’t mind as much, you know, my friends wouldn’t really care whether the wine was fancy or went well with the dish.” While pretending to be something she was not had never been her forte, Maryam did want to make a good impression and show her colleagues she could be trusted to pick out the right wine. That being said, she had decided to do her wine shopping in the nearest Tesco instead of venturing somewhere with a better selection. Oh well. “I’m Maryam, by the way.” 

Ophelia looked up at the other and for a moment she really considered that that would be a good idea. She very quickly changed her mind, shaking her head. “Oh no, I can just imagine how that would have gone. He would have demanded I leave with him and then took off his shirt to prove what he had underneath, I can see it.” She rested a hand on her forehead and laughed softly. “To tell the truth I’m supposed to have a fiancé and it’s been arranged between our families, however I only intend to marry for the power that comes within the families.”

She nodded along as the young woman spoke, all too familiar with the type she was describing. It was clearly a good thing she had been able to cut the date short. Maryam’s brows shot up as the other explained her situation. “Oh dear.” She let out a low whistle, clearly quite surprised by the confession. “Sounds stressful,” she commented, “but I hope you think it’s worth your while? I mean, do you personally gain anything from the arrangement? I’d hope so.”

“Okay, so I’m not the only one that street vendor has been trying to get with that spiel of theirs? Because it seems like they just keep talking even when you’ve said you’re not interested a thousand times. Like… I understand you have to make money and make a living but that doesn’t mean you have to do it like that.” She said with a soft shake of her head. There was just something about an aggressive sales tactic that turned Wendy off entirely. “Oh absolutely, my neck is much happier.”

“Oh, not at all. I spent like half an hour hiding in a shop, but they found me the moment I stepped outside. I was kind of starting to think they were maybe tracking me, so I am almost relieved to hear someone else has been having the same problem,” she chuckled before glancing over her shoulder, simply to check if the vendor in question was still looking for them. “I honestly do not think they bother more masculine people the same way they pester feminine folks. It’s kind of obvious and really messed up.” 

       the woman had broken down both publicly and during the nights when she couldn’t get clara to settle. she did have people he could have called but emmeline herself had never been great at asking for help outright, nor was she about to wake someone up at 3am in the morning crying down the phone to them. the tears were more for the abandonment she felt both for herself and on behalf of her daughter than out of hatred for him - she wasn’t yet at that stage, or perhaps clara’s birth had meant things would hit her in a different order. “i’ve had to pull out of a project i was going to do. they said they’d wait but james newton howard’s interested in it so i’m not quite sure they will.” emmeline knew she didn’t have time and that she wouldn’t be able to handle it. “i’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. i’m having trouble feeding her, the problem being on my end, not hers.” although her candour could be recognised, she wasn’t at all mentioning her feelings on either subject. “sleep is a major issue but isn’t that the same for everyone with a baby?” the woman shrugged as her eyes looked towards the basket.

Maryam could feel a tight know forming in the pit of her stomach as she studied Emmeline as discreetly as possible: it was obvious she was beyond exhausted and completely heartbroken. She has obviously know to expect that, but the reality hit her like a ton of bricks. Truthfully, she didn’t know what to say or how to comfort her, but remaining silent and just staring helplessly would undoubtedly just make her feel much worse. “You are doing your very best in a really shitty situation. That’s all you can do,” she eventually commented carefully, her voice low so as not to wake the baby. It was strange to think she shared some genetics with the child, especially now that her father had pulled such a cowardly stunt. “I would be happy to look after her for an hour or two if you ever need a nap or just have to get out of the house. Anything to make it a little bit easier for you. Do you have food in the house? I can go shopping for you if that’s something you need.” 

    “thank you so much for coming over.” emmeline had greeted maryam with a smile despite the circumstances. she hadn’t even told her own parents about what had transpired but felt the need to reach out to the other. although she was happy to see the other and felt alone, the urge to hug the other didn’t come in that moment; emmeline was rather reserved in that regard. “clara’s currently asleep.” she gestured over to the moses basket - the woman had made sure there was one in nearly every single room so she could watch her at all times. it was a strange spot she found herself in. emmeline was severely upset but she still had a responsibility to care for an extremely young child, one that had resemblance to her husband, or soon to be ex husband, but she still loved the child and never had any reservations about doing that - she was just afraid she wasn’t going to be good enough. “sorry, do you want something to drink? i have quite the range.”

@maryamjoyce​

A mix of burning rage and deep sadness, perhaps a bit of nausea and shame. She had felt the combination of all of those things when she had heard the news. While not the culprit by any means, Maryam could not help but feel deeply ashamed by her cousin’s actions. They had never been all that close, but there was still a connection, something she now despised. That being said, her feelings did not matter now, not when she wanted to be there for Emmeline. She could not imagine the combination of emotions she had been forced to tackle. “No, definitely not,” she replied hastily, then realising her words could be read as quite inconsiderate. That was certainly not her intention as she simply didn’t want to trouble poor Emmeline. “I mean, there’s absolutely no need.” She paused for a moment. “Do you need anything? Anything at all?” While not sure what she could realistically offer, Maryam wanted to help so very badly.