Carli 💜 (Dead at Uni)

Hallmark-esque movie style AU, where the Winchesters are farmers and have nothing supernatural ever going on. Sammy went off to pursue his dreams of becoming a lawyer in the city, and during the weeks to Christmas/New Year he goes home to visit Dean.

His boss/coworker, Castiel Novak, who's never really had family/close friends (a workaholic) is annoyed that he can't reach Sam but luckily found an address and goes to insist there's a case they need to work on.

Bonus points if Castiel finds Dean chopping wood shirtless in a barn during a snowy day/night.

Cas is a city man, first time in the countryside. He doesn't want to be here; every relative he's had has only ever told him horror stories about places like this. The smell, the people, the mannerisms, all of it was things that went against Castiel knew and grew up with. "Ruffience," his aunt would call them, along with other more colorful language

But this is an important case. He has a duty to his client, and he needs Sam Winchester to look through all the new evidence with him. He's frustrated with the man for up and leaving at such an important time (It's really not, they have another few weeks)

Every person he's asked in the small town uses phrases Castiel couldn't fully understand. The folks seem to know "the Winchester boys" and keep asking Castiel what he wants with "The Moose." Whatever that means

So here Cas finds himself, wandering through someone's property because he has no idea where this "Cabin in the Woods" is, but has a vague idea where he might find it

And instead, he finds a man who should be on the cover of a magazine, playing lumberjack

And boy, he plays it well

Dean Winchester, town sweetheart and resident menace to bakeries, is confused as to why there's a dorky lil dude in a trenchcoat sneaking around his side of the woods

"Not for nothin'. stranger, but last person I caught sneakin' around these parts got shot." He throws out an easy warning

He doesn't expect the scruffy lil dude to tilt his head and ask "By who?"

"What?"

"If people often get shot here, you should probably chop wood somewhere safer"

"... huh?"

"In fact, perhaps you should've informed the authroities-"

If we lean even further into the hallmark movie tropes you could have Cas hate christmas because he's never had anyone to celebrate it with and he usually just works from home during the holidays anyway.

So he learns the true meaning of christmas via the Winchesters and their friends and family

Cas slowly learns to loosen up - he starts in his full suit and coat, then ditches the coat, rolls up his sleeves, and eventually ends up borrowing Dean's clothes by the end.

Hannah, Cas's secretary, wont stop making passes at him (nobody knows he's gay) and she's very persistent with her messages and calls. There's a big miscommunication mix up where Dean thinks she's already his girlfriend and that Cas is clearly straight and he has no chance.

Cas is still trying to get his work done while he's staying in the Winchester's spare room, but he can't stop looking through the window and watching Dean brush down the horses. He keeps sneaking snacks to them and telling them not to rat him out to Sam for it. Cas can feel himself falling for him.

They do that thing where Dean teaches Cas how to chop firewood by standing behind him with his arms wrapped around, so he can grip his hands, guiding him into the motion.

and of course, we CAN'T forget about the cooking scene. It's a hallmark classic

Cas wants to help Dean in the kitchen, but has never cooked or baked anything for more than one person in his entire life.

It gets super messy, and they have a little food fight in the kitchen that ends with Dean pinning Cas's flour-covered hands to the counter. They're both laughing and out of breath, staring at each other. Then Sam interrupts, and they pretend it didn't happen

Dean, in the very beginning, thinks Cas is some snooty, silver-spoon city boy who thinks he's too good for a little dirt under his fancy shoes. And through the story, he learns that Cas is passionate about his job and dedicated to his clients. His clients are not just a single person, but organizations that help the environment, that the case is important because it could save lives in the long run

When Dean is caught admiring a particular pair of panties in the window at VS/PINK he tries to lie and say he was going to suggest Cas look in this store for something for his girlfriend. This is how he finds out Cas is not actually dating her, but planning on replacing her soon because of how uncomfortable she makes him with all the flirting (and this was really the last straw, the whole making 'hot lumberjack Dean' think they were dating thing). This is also how Dean finds out Cas is gay and Cas develops the sneaking suspicion Dean actually wanted those panties for himself. (Queue Cas' actual wet dream of 'hot lumberjack Dean' in the panties he was caught looking at in the mall and all his guilty weirdness the following day.)

Bonus points if Cas is stuck in town because of snow or car trouble or something equally cliche. Hallmark movies are all about that.

I can't decide which would be funnier - Sam being oblivious while Cas and Dean flirt and fall in love, then catching them making out and losing his shit cuz he doesn't know either of them were gay/ bi.

OR

Sam knowing they are both gay/bi and practically dieing trying not to laugh at both of them thinking they're at all subtle with their obvious crush or sneaky when they start fooling around. He loves them both, suspected this might happen if they ever met, and pretends not to notice anything is amiss. Acts oblivious when they jump apart or make up terrible excuses to be alone at the same time. Meanwhile he's texting Jess and Charlie with updates and they're all gossiping the whole time.

I really just have to summarize Thomas's entire life:

He was in a committed relationship with a male swan named Henry for 18-24 years before a female swan named Henrietta showed up and mated with Henry.

Thomas was initially jealous of the pair and attacked them, breaking 2 of the 5 eggs Henrietta had laid. However, once the remaining eggs hatched, Thomas warmed up to them and helped raise them.

Henry couldn't fly because of an injured wing, so Thomas taught the cygnets how to fly.

When they needed to reduce the goose population in the pond where Thomas and the swans lived, they dyed Thomas's feathers red so he wouldn't be separated from Henry.

Henry, Henrietta, and Thomas remained in their happy throuple for years and raised 68 cygnets before Henry died in 2009. After Henry's death, Henrietta found another swan and flew away, leaving Thomas alone.

Thomas finally met and mated with a female goose in 2011 and had his own babies. However, another goose named George stole them and raised them himself.

As Thomas grew elderly and blind, he was relocated to a wildlife center where he raised orphaned cygnets.

His caretaker at the center described him as "pretty high maintenance."

Thomas died in 2018 at the age of around 40. He had a funeral that included a small coffin and a procession that was led by a bagpiper. He was buried under the stone where Henry was buried, the two finally reunited in death.

So what color are Jack's wings?

HELP ME CROWD FUND CASTIEL PLUSH!!!

I'm so excited to show this off and I hope you are too!

One idea I had for furry Cas is that Jimmy's vessel would be a cat, but Cas' true form would be a panther

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

self-sufficient, meaning "next to zero trust in parental figures' ability in various aspects of parenting"

I stared at them through the dawning realization that they lived in a world where that was remotely possible. “My phone is on do not disturb if I’m sleeping. Why would I let random texts wake me up? My sleep is important.”

Equally baffled they replied, “What if someone at work needs you?”

“I am not a manager. No one at work will ever need me badly enough to interrupt my sleep. If I’m not working then there’s no reason to be calling me.”

“Not even if you need to cover?”

I laughed, “I don’t need to cover. They could ask me to cover but good luck getting ahold of me if I’m sleeping.”

They looked distressed at this idea.

To console them I added, “I have important people like my mom and my wife set to override. If they call they get through no matter what.”

There was a small pause before they asked, “You can do that…?”